Erika Shupe *fake smile* Large Families on Purpose Part 2

[iweartanktops]

GUYS. GUYS.

I had to come to FJ (and specifically, the Erika thread) to tell you guys this, because it's something I found awesome and hilarious. My boyfriend isn't into snarking on fundies like I am, but he does occasionally express interest in what we're currently talking about on here. As a result, he knows far more about the Duggars/Bates/Shupes/Andersons than he would like. Anyway. Tonight we were at a family get together (his, not mine) and the two of us were talking about his cousins, who have several kids. I asked him a question (don't remember what, not important) and he said, "Well, I suppose they could always just starting feeding them popcorn and protein bars for dinner." 

I almost felt like chanting "One of us, one of us!" at him, but I didn't. This must be what the fundies feel like when they get a "bite" while out soul winning. I never expected him to remember such a mundane detail about the Shupes! Someday he, too, may be a Jingerite 

I love this! Hahaha! I find myself wanting my future headship to be into the fundies, but he really doesn't care. 

[mango_fandango]

I love this! Hahaha! I find myself wanting my future headship to be into the fundies, but he really doesn't care. 

I'm also the only person in my family who knows about fundies etc. I've told my brother a bit about the Duggars, Shupes etc, but he's too young to join FJ, so for now I just tell him stuff. 

Also: Erika's reposted her "Developing the Character of Faithfulness" post. Weird title. Wouldn't it be something like "Developing Faithfulness in Our Children" or something? 

It's not even specifically about faithfulness. It's about how her kids "forget" to do things and how she gets the kids to write out reasons for doing things. It includes a list that the then 7-year-old Anna Marie had to write out about why she should be thankful she can sweep the kitchen floor. Reasons include having so much good food she can sweep up the excess, having eyes to see so that she can do the work, having hands so that she can do the work, having two legs so she can do the work, not having a disability so she can do the work... ya ya ya. Apparently every kid who can write has to do these lists... multiple times depending on their age. 

This is also the post where a commenter recommends cleaning a child's teeth, tongue and roof of mouth with liquid soap if they lie. Also where Erika recommends using Tabasco sauce. What. The. Hell.

[LovelyLuna]

My Headship has picked up on a lot because I babble to him about everything. Every once in a while he will pick up on something on his own and it makes me so proud. 

We have such a weird hobby guys, so weird. 

[defraudingjezebel]

My Headship has picked up on a lot because I babble to him about everything. Every once in a while he will pick up on something on his own and it makes me so proud. 

We have such a weird hobby guys, so weird. 

My SO is from a country with a non-Christian majority so whenever I've tried to tell him stuff about fundies, he sometimes gets a little lost because he's so unfamiliar with Christianity. When he tilts his head to the side like a confused little puppy, I know I've started to babble too much. That poor man puts up with so much of my babbling! 

The Tabasco on the tongue is a really strange and punitive punishment. Brushing a kid's teeth with soap is awful!! I have a sensitive gag reflex so if my mother tried that on me, she'd end up with a bigger mess to clean up!

 

[ViolaSebastian]

My Headship has picked up on a lot because I babble to him about everything. Every once in a while he will pick up on something on his own and it makes me so proud. 

We have such a weird hobby guys, so weird. 

My headship found out about FJ when he was musing on Ken Ham (whom he refers to as 'The Wolf Man') and Kent Hovind and I had (more) than a thing or two to tell him about them both.  I started talking about PP's 'interview' with Kent Hovind in jail and how absurd it was and his eyes got large () and he asked how I knew all this...busted. I've tried to turn him onto the Rodrigues Family, but he just can't deal with them, so I mostly stick to updating him about PP and Zsu's shenanigans and referencing things like "cream of crap soup," "frumpers" and "eleventy."  I'm not sure if he realizes how many figures of speech I've picked up from this place. 

[princessmahina]

My headship found out about FJ when he was musing on Ken Ham (whom he refers to as 'The Wolf Man') and Kent Hovind and I had (more) than a thing or two to tell him about them both.  I started talking about PP's 'interview' with Kent Hovind in jail and how absurd it was and his eyes got large () and he asked how I knew all this...busted. I've tried to turn him onto the Rodrigues Family, but he just can't deal with them, so I mostly stick to updating him about PP and Zsu's shenanigans and referencing things like "cream of crap soup," "frumpers" and "eleventy."  I'm not sure if he realizes how many figures of speech I've picked up from this place. 

My future headship has started using the phrase Cream of Crap soup too. I'm pretty sure he used to enjoy food made with it until I got him into eating healthier, more natural stuff. Now he complains how artificial, salty, and just plain nasty it is. Love it <3

[YoshiCat]

Same here. Both of my parents were hyper-controlling. Lying well was a survival strategy for all five of us kids. We joke about it as adults, but it's so not funny.

Yeah, add me to the list of excellent liars from being raised by a control freak. They basically force you to do it. I would sneak food in and hide it in my room. Sometimes she would find it and she'd just be in despair, talking about the thing she hated most was a sneak. But it was the only way. And I just didn't care. I'd listen to her lecture/despair, just waiting for it to be over. I never felt bad about it, just annoyed at myself for not hiding it better. I had no respect for her, so the whole "I'm so disappointed in you" routine had no affect on me. And it apparently never occurred to her that I had feelings; she certainly didn't care about my feelings so I wasn't going to care about her feelings.

She would buy a package of those small bags of chips/fritos for our lunches. Sometimes when she was out, my sister or I would take one and eat it, which was absolutely forbidden for multiple reasons (eating a snack, deciding on your own to eat something, eating something designated for school lunch). She would know, of course, because she always knew exactly how many bags should be left. And then she would call me and my sister in and demand to know who was guilty. And we'd both say "not me." I enjoyed it so much because she knew one of us was guilty but not which one. I'd laugh to myself during the lecture, it was almost better than eating the chips.

I guess the upside is that I get extreme pleasure out of doing rather ordinary things, like buying a giant bag of M&Ms and eating as much of them as I want, whenever I want. Or doing things spontaneously. Or not picking my clothes up off of the floor.

I'd also LOVE to hear about him visiting an actual medical professional.  I know we're only internet observers, but that boy looks far too small for his age.  I get a real rage-on when I think about how restricted their diets and education are, along with every other aspect of their lives.  Life-long consequences like stunted growth and a hugely hindered education -- but all this drill sergeant cares about is "godly character" and the right kind of "fruit" for their efforts.  

They avoid actual medical professionals like the plague, all the fundies seem to. My theory is that it's because medical professionals are mandated reporters. And there's just so much reportable stuff that could pop out of a kid's mouth.

[princessmahina]

She changed the website around! 

[YoshiCat]

@YoshiCat Wow, That sounds like it must have been a rough and anxiety-filled childhood. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 

I'm pretty sure Erika combs through FJ every once and a while and if she does, I hope she reads your story. I think it might give her a sense of the emotion toll that kind of control takes on a child and the impact it leaves upon them as an adult. I'd like to think that she is deep-down a good person and willing to change for the sake of her children, though I think her pride might interfere with that. Pride goeth before destruction, etc. 

Thank you for sympathizing. The picture was so perfect, I never would have been believed if I tried to complain about anything. And I would have been lectured about saying bad things about my wonderful parents who did so much for me. So it's very gratifying for me to hear from others that it was awful.

And Erica, if you are reading this, please pay attention. You are harming your children by controlling their every move and attempting to control their thoughts. They are not learning anything they need to learn about being adults. They need to be able to make mistakes and learn how to figure things out and make decisions. The way you're raising them, they are not learning that. When they're out on their own, they will make poor and sometimes unsafe decisions because they don't know how to evaluate situations and make good decisions. Once they realized you've lied to them about something, they will never know what else is a lie, what else is your paranoia and what's actually true. Their feelings toward you will be anger and resentment, not gratitude and love.

Each one of your children is a separate, individual, distinct person with their own personality, likes, dislikes and needs. Trying to force them all into the same mold will not work and will only add to the anger and resentment. 

And they WILL grow up, no matter how much you try to treat teenagers like children. Separating from your parents as an adolescent is a vital and normal part of growing up. It's part of the process of becoming an adult. You are handicapping your children if you try to prevent that process. Your job is to teach them how to be adults, not to try to keep them children forever. Help them find themselves and get to know them for the individuals they are.

[defraudingjezebel]

She changed the website around! 

I noticed that, too! I actually like her old layout and color scheme better. This one seems like a standard, built-in blog layout while the other one looked more customized and cheerful. 

[FunFunFundie]

Did anybody else see that she posted a "honey-do" list for Bob that had everything crossed off, and now it's not there anymore?  I thought it said "minecraft" on there, which is...weird.  And a bunch of other stuff like "fix light in girls' room."  With a caption about how much she loves her husband.  But I went to look at the Facebook page from my computer and it's gone.  Or, I imagined it.  Did anybody else see it?

[iweartanktops]

@FunFunFundie I didn't see the Honey-Do list, but did anyone see this comment in response to a follower asking if she does most of the twins' homeschooling together? 

Bold is mine 

 

 Oh we absolutely do most everything with them together. =) They delight in each other like nothing else. And their ability level is the same. Interests vary slightly at nearly 5-year-old, but they love to and pursue doing everything together. Now be aware that this is an issue that people - for whatever reason - feel *very* adamant about (regardless of whether or not they even have twins!), that twins "should be treated as individual people and dressed differently and separated all the time". We think that's rubbish. =) Twins have a special bond like no one else, and we feel it's invaluable to encourage that and enable their love and enjoyment. Of course they're not co-dependent in a negative way, and *able* to do things separately when they choose to (and they do sleep separately at this age, in twin beds for the best quality sleep), but they're really happiest when together. They gain great strength from the strong foundation of their love and unconditional trust. And I've already heard all the negative comments from people who think differently, so please no one else post those ungly, condemning words here. Just sayin'. =) And Beth, I encourage you to ignore those nay-sayers, too. *hugs* It makes all the sense in the world to have them enjoy doing school together if they'd like to and do well that way. If they want to separate (unlikely), - fine - doesn't matter at all. But most all the times twins are a great encouragement to one another and an affirming delight.

 

[daisyjane1234]

I hope Erica reads here because I would prefer not to post on her blog since it would require me to use my personal email address.

As the parent of a child in a wheelchair, the sentence where the child is required to be grateful because "she is not in a wheelchair" really offends me.

Most parents of kids in chairs would prefer their children not be seen as a curse or a source of pity, but rather embraced for their unique identity which happens to include a disability.  Her sentence frames disability, and a wheelchair which is a great gift of mobility, freedom and independence for many, as something that is negative rather than a simple fact of life on earth.

While I am not a fan of her parenting strategies to begin with, I would humbly suggest her sentence focus on the positive like the fact that the child has a strong and able body rather than wording the sentence as a negative.....glad she is NOT something.  It reminds me of the orthodox Jewish prayer where men voice their gratitude that they are not a woman.  

Or, to put it less rationally and closer to how I actually feel,  God don't make no junk, please don't suggest my child (or any child in a wheelchair) is anything less than perfect.  It only demonstrates an ignorant and condescending attitude on your part.  

Oh wait, we're talking about Erica.  
 

[iweartanktops]

No, Erika, you're wrong - twins SHOULD be treated as individual people, because THEY ARE! 

[Seven Severn]

I wonder if Erika, like a lot of fundie home schoolers, thinks her children are advanced academically. The fact that she showed Brandon's note to the world would seem to indicate that she's, at the very least, not concerned about his academic progress and may actually think that he's right on grade level or even above. The fact that she has no unbiased reference to compare his work to makes me think that she thinks everything's peachy keen and he (and all the others) are right on track if not advanced.

Erika! Brandon seems to need non-Erika help! Based on this note, he seems to be woefully behind. If he has learning disabilities then he needs help and instruction from someone who specializes in teaching kids with LDs. There is no shame in having a learning disability and there's no shame in asking for outside help; it involves more work, more patience, and some flexibility on your part. If there's a time issue then your Facebook postings and naps can take a back seat for a while. If there are no learning disabilities and Brandon's misspelled note is an indication of your abilities as a teacher then your kids are screwed and it's your fault.

[princessmahina]

I wonder if Erika, like a lot of fundie home schoolers, thinks her children are advanced academically. The fact that she showed Brandon's note to the world would seem to indicate that she's, at the very least, not concerned about his academic progress and may actually think that he's right on grade level or even above. The fact that she has no unbiased reference to compare his work to makes me think that she thinks everything's peachy keen and he (and all the others) are right on track if not advanced.

Erika! Brandon seems to need non-Erika help! Based on this note, he seems to be woefully behind. If he has learning disabilities then he needs help and instruction from someone who specializes in teaching kids with LDs. There is no shame in having a learning disability and there's no shame in asking for outside help; it involves more work, more patience, and some flexibility on your part. If there's a time issue then your Facebook postings and naps can take a back seat for a while. If there are no learning disabilities and Brandon's misspelled note is an indication of your abilities as a teacher then your kids are screwed and it's your fault.

Did Erika ever say what her specialty or whatever was when she was teaching? Elementary, middle, high, etc? Unless he has some kind of learning disability, there's no way he can be considered on target.

 

[withaj]

Did Erika ever say what her specialty or whatever was when she was teaching? Elementary, middle, high, etc? Unless he has some kind of learning disability, there's no way he can be considered on target.

 

I have a vague notion that she specified somewhere that her degree was in elementary ed, but I could be wrong.

[mango_fandango]

I have a vague notion that she specified somewhere that her degree was in elementary ed, but I could be wrong.

She has a degree in Early Childhood Education, and I think she even taught in an elementary school briefly.  

[morri]

poor poor kids. I would be thankful t have a leg to kick the parents in the groin.

[Koala]

And writing scripture down - lists of it - on lieing.

I believe the word Erika is looking for is "lying".     

[apandaaries]

I just realized that in CA, early childhood education (ECE) is what is required to work in a preschool.  To be a credentialed teacher in a public school, you have to have a Bachelors and then an additional year or two of training, along with being a "student teacher" in someone else's classroom (generally).   Private schools (including religious ones) can have a bit more leeway with whom they hire as instructors.

However, I just went to her alma mater's website and realized that they do offer ECE as a BA ( http://www.wwu.edu/majors/ ).  It appears to focus on Preschool-3rd grade.  I suppose that might help explain why she is so out of touch with the quality of his work.  

@YoshiCat, that is the way of the fundies, isn't it?  Vilify doctors, teachers, and anyone who is in anyway affiliated with the government.

[princessmahina]

I just realized that in CA, early childhood education (ECE) is what is required to work in a preschool.  To be a credentialed teacher in a public school, you have to have a Bachelors and then an additional year or two of training, along with being a "student teacher" in someone else's classroom (generally).   Private schools (including religious ones) can have a bit more leeway with whom they hire as instructors.

However, I just went to her alma mater's website and realized that they do offer ECE as a BA ( http://www.wwu.edu/majors/ ).  It appears to focus on Preschool-3rd grade.  I suppose that might help explain why she is so out of touch with the quality of his work.  

@YoshiCat, that is the way of the fundies, isn't it?  Vilify doctors, teachers, and anyone who is in anyway affiliated with the government.

This still doesn't really make sense to me. Are they doing fine until third grade or so, and then... not? Does she even realize how far behind her older children are?

[defraudingjezebel]

This still doesn't really make sense to me. Are they doing fine until third grade or so, and then... not? Does she even realize how far behind her older children are?

Erika's not dumb so I doubt she wouldn't realize how behind he is. Though I do think she has deluded herself with regard to the severity of his delays. If she were only homeschooling 2 or 3 kids, she could spend extra time with him to ensure that he gets the extra help he needs. But now she is homeschooling ALL of her kids so that means either he isn't getting any extra help or Mama Karen is taking the reigns with the younger kids (and thus hindering her ability to get through her own material). 

[apandaaries]

This still doesn't really make sense to me. Are they doing fine until third grade or so, and then... not? Does she even realize how far behind her older children are?

If her schedules are to be believed, it seems like the kids don't even focus on certain subject sometimes (I think @mango_fandango noticed that, but I might be mistaken).  None of it makes sense, but she did mention having to "unlearn" things she'd been taught as an educator.  That's probably part of it, but I also wonder how much schooling really gets done when these fundie mamas are almost always pregnant and/or nursing and/or caring for babies.  Lisa Pennington has (or had, she loves to delete) a post about letting go of schooling worries when being pregnant.  The thought seemed to be that since they made their own schedule, they could catch up on their own schedule.  

For all of Erika's diligent scheduling, these kids are starting to seem about as well-schooled as the Nauglers.  

[lulumama]

Daisyjane 1234, this really offends me too. She is filling her sweet kids with all her negative stereotypes. Why does she think it's up to her to tell her kids what to be grateful for?  Mind control that's why!

"As the parent of a child in a wheelchair, the sentence where the child is required to be grateful because 'she is not in a wheelchair' really offends me."