Michael (Bates) Keilen Bump Watch

[HereticHick]

3 minutes ago, HowsMolly said:

Please relax. No one said that every single Southerner has to spend every minute of their existence drinking sweet tea. You should work on disagreeing without invalidating others' experiences. 

Well aren't we off to a grand start here on FB?

[Geechee Girl]

11 hours ago, Granwych said:

I would be SEVERELY uncomfortable to be out of the broom closet in the South, and most likely, just as severely unwelcome.

When I was still in GA, there was a pretty active Pagan community with its own prison ministry. Wiccans were the majority, but there were a few eclectic and solo practitioners. 

[formergothardite]

36 minutes ago, HowsMolly said:

Please relax. No one said that every single Southerner has to spend every minute of their existence drinking sweet tea. You should work on disagreeing without invalidating others' experiences. 

I'm reminded of one of the mothers at my daughter's school who moved here from another state and was disappointed that life wasn't like she expected. She even pointed out that we didn't even sound southern. Apparently she thought we all sounded like Paula Deen and instead discovered that there are several accents even within the state of NC. So your stereotype that we are generally pleasant simple folks here in NC, just doesn't reflect reality. In general there are pleasant folks, unpleasant folks, vegans, hunters, meat eaters who aren't hunters, people who drink sweet tea, people who don't, people who love country music, people who hate country music. people who go to church, people who don't go to church but act like they are the world's greatest Christians, people who are various religions, people who aren't religious, people who love the  Rebel flag, people who don't, people who are apathetic about it, people who have good manners, people who don't, people who love making small talk with strangers, people who hate making small talk with strangers, and the list could go on. 

[HowsMolly]

25 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I'm reminded of one of the mothers at my daughter's school who moved here from another state and was disappointed that life wasn't like she expected. She even pointed out that we didn't even sound southern. Apparently she thought we all sounded like Paula Deen and instead discovered that there are several accents even within the state of NC. So your stereotype that we are generally pleasant simple folks here in NC, just doesn't reflect reality. In general there are pleasant folks, unpleasant folks, vegans, hunters, meat eaters who aren't hunters, people who drink sweet tea, people who don't, people who love country music, people who hate country music. people who go to church, people who don't go to church but act like they are the world's greatest Christians, people who are various religions, people who aren't religious, people who love the  Rebel flag, people who don't, people who are apathetic about it, people who have good manners, people who don't, people who love making small talk with strangers, people who hate making small talk with strangers, and the list could go on. 

I am not disagreeing that the South is a diverse place, and I never said that any stereotype applied to all Southerners. My only point was that plenty (not all) of people in the South engage in certain activities (drinking sweet tea, emphasis on church, hunting/fishing), and that I and my family have experienced a laid-back pace of life there. I'm not disparaging your perspective, or saying that my experiences are the universal truth. But I resent being told that my perspective (and the perspectives of many others) are incorrect simply because they do not conform with your personal experiences. If I say that "When I went to NC, everyone I encountered had strong accents and were extremely friendly people," I don't see how you can disagree with me. It's an experience that I had. If you say "I know tons of NC vegans who don't sound at all like Paula Deen," that's fine too. But I do not appreciate you holding our own experience as being the only valid Southern experience. (Also, if you are in the UNC-Duke-Wake Forest triangle, that's a very "Northern" area, as far as the South goes.)

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Well aren't we off to a grand start here on FB?

I'm not sure what being a new poster has to do with anything. Are my opinions less valid because I've been surfing FJ for two years, but didn't make an account until now? Not very welcoming. 

[QuiverDance]

Do you HONESTLY not see how offensive it is to talk about an entire region as though everyone in it is a backwards, racist, religious conservative until proven innocent?  Because it is.  

[Kak]

1 hour ago, HowsMolly said:

Please relax.

You should work on disagreeing without invalidating others' experiences. 

You are of course perfectly entitled to your own views and outlook. 

But do you really think you are entitled to tell someone what she needs to work on? I find that rude. 

[GreyhoundFan]

4 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

The thing I liked the least about the south was not the people but the weather.  Hot weather and I don't get along (after I reach my melting point, I get incredibly cranky and you don't want to be around me).  If I was faced with the choice of a Florida vacation or living next door to Santa Claus in the North Pole, give me the man in the red suit.

I'm actually looking to move to a colder climate than the Mid-Atlantic.

I also live in the Mid-Atlantic. I appreciate that we don't get Deep South style brutal summers, but it's still way too humid and hot here for me. I'm happiest when there is very little humidity and the temperature is between 35-50F. I have seriously looked into moving to Iceland, however my company doesn't have an office there. When I started looking into it, people were amazed, but the average winter temp in Reykjavík is only 3 or 4 degrees lower than the average in my town.

According to the Capital Weather Gang at The Washington Post, this summer is supposed to be exceptionally hot and humid, getting worse each month. I'm not looking forward to it.

[19 cats and counting]

@GreyhoundFan I am glad I'm not alone.  My friends (IRL) make fun of me for actually liking the winter and not jumping on the 'summer fun' bandwagon and wanting to go to the tropics in January.

My family has property in rural Maine.  The town's a little in the middle of nowhere for me, and a lot to maintain, but the COL is low and the climate right for me.  I'd be the 4th generation to live there (my grandmother, aunt, and mom were born in the house.  I'm thinking of buying the property from my mom.

[formergothardite]

The problem is that you took your experience with NC and then made a statement painting all of the people of NC with the same brush when you said we are "in general simple, pleasant people", which is an inaccurate statement. It would be like I said I visited NC and in general the people who live there are liberal vegans. Are there liberal vegans here? Absolutely, and in some areas a lot of liberal vegans, but it would not be accurate to take one group of people and generalize that everyone is like that.

I don't disagree that you experienced simple, pleasant folks, I disagree that you can say that in general all the people of NC are simple and pleasant. That doesn't acknowledge the diversity of the state. You encountered the southern stereotype of a slow pace, sweet tea drinking, gun toting, hunting, country music loving group of people, but that is only a portion on of NC. In general, what you are going to encounter is going to vary by region. 

NC has a lot of things I don't like, but it also has a lot of things I do like.  If someone is looking into moving to NC I would suggest that they realize that the people and culture vary from place to place, so Asheville isn't going to be like Charlotte or Taylorsville or Lumberton. The sort of people you are going to encounter is going to vary depending on where you go in NC. 

@19 cats and counting I hate the heat and humidity here! I live indoors during the summer. 

For anyone looking to visit/move to NC keep in mind that we are #1 in snake bites. It is because of our lovely copperheads. We have already killed two this year. So if one is going to generalize about NC, it would be best to say that in general you are more likely to get bitten by a snake. 

 

[19 cats and counting]

@formergothardite I lived in Durham when I was working for an organization there.  I loved that city.  Great culture, restaurants, locally brewed beer, and very liberal (and LGBT friendly).  And whatever your feelings on Duke are (my boss hated them due to a sports rivalry) their campus is one of the most GORGEOUS campuses I've ever seen.  I went to a meeting in the library there and thought I was stepping into a castle.

Definitely not what you think of when you think of the south.  

[OyToTheVey]

On 5/18/2016 at 0:34 PM, TShirtsLongSkirts said:

I completely agree, @eandre31. I'm not fundy in the slightest (obv) and when I started learning Japanese I got sick to death of people asking me "why are you learning Japanese? What are you going to use it for? Why bother?" I just thought it looked interesting and wanted a new skill!! I even had one person give me a lecture on how I should learn something more useful. *eyeroll* If Michael wants to learn for the sake of learning, and become a more well-rounded person for it, I say props to her.

(After a few months of people asking me that I eventually just responded with "Why do you go running every day?" or "Why do you knit?", or whatever their hobbies were, or even "Why does anyone do anything?!" it drove me mad!!)

You know what's funny? I got the same thing when I told people I'm going to Japan. I bought a ticket and went. They were like why Japan, you're on vacation, go to the beach. Well I went. I ate a bunch of weird things, I saw a ton of stuff you don't see here, and I learned something. Was it useful? Not really. Was it amazing? Hell yeah. I'd go again.

[HowsMolly]

23 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I don't disagree that you experienced simple, pleasant folks, I disagree that you can say that in general all the people of NC are simple and pleasant. That doesn't acknowledge the diversity of the state. You encountered the southern stereotype of a slow pace, sweet tea drinking, gun toting, hunting, country music loving group of people, but that is only a portion on of NC. In general, what you are going to encounter is going to vary by region. 

I'm afraid I was unclear. In my original statement, I thought it was apparent that I was referring to the people we had personally met during our travels in NC, not the state/region as a whole: "I'm not a native or anything, but my boyfriend and I are moving to NC this summer and have spent a lot of time there over the past few months. I've never experienced anything but Southern Hospitality there...no one seems to care what your orientation, race, religion, etc is. They're just generally simple, pleasant people." So there's really nothing to debate here. I apologize for the confusion.

42 minutes ago, Kak said:

You are of course perfectly entitled to your own views and outlook. 

But do you really think you are entitled to tell someone what she needs to work on? I find that rude. 

I feel that formergothardite was disrespectful and more confrontational than the situation warranted. She extrapolated my comments to apply to every single Southerner and then chastised me for generalizing. I felt that she invalidated my input by relating everything back to her own experiences, without even understanding the point I was trying to make. I stand by my comment.

[HereticHick]

10 minutes ago, HowsMolly said:

I feel that formergothardite was disrespectful and more confrontational than the situation warranted. She extrapolated my comments to apply to every single Southerner and then chastised me for generalizing. I felt that she invalidated my input by relating everything back to her own experiences, without even understanding the point I was trying to make. I stand by my comment.

I saw a phrase somewhere recently that may apply. Let's see, what was it?

Oh, I remember--

"Please Relax."

[QuiverDance]

Every time I questioned him in any way, my ex would tell me, "Relax."  It was so f'g condescending and wrath-inducing.  Every time I hear that word or read it, I get PTSD flashbacks.  

[VelociRapture]

3 minutes ago, QuiverDance said:

Every time I questioned him in any way, my ex would tell me, "Relax."  It was so f'g condescending and wrath-inducing.  Every time I hear that word or read it, I get PTSD flashbacks.  

Note - I liked this out of sympathy and support for you, not because of your ex or the feelings the term inspires in you. Just want to be clear I'm not a douche. 

[QuiverDance]

Hahahahaha.  I know you're not a douche.

[Curious]

Howsmolly was a sock (for another newb no one has likely ever heard of).  Banned them both.

Carry on

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, Curious said:

Howsmolly was a sock (for another newb no one has likely ever heard of).  Banned them both.

Carry on

Oh good! I came over here to get some Bates updates after crawling out of the Naugler shitshow and I thought  "holy crap what the hell is going on over here?!"  

Guess I need to go back a couple pages to get any bump updates! 

[Palimpsest]

16 hours ago, formergothardite said:

For anyone looking to visit/move to NC keep in mind that we are #1 in snake bites. It is because of our lovely copperheads. We have already killed two this year. So if one is going to generalize about NC, it would be best to say that in general you are more likely to get bitten by a snake. 

I was packing up my belongings and getting ready to put my NE house on the market to move to NC until I read this! 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 5/18/2016 at 2:34 AM, TShirtsLongSkirts said:

I completely agree, @eandre31. I'm not fundy in the slightest (obv) and when I started learning Japanese I got sick to death of people asking me "why are you learning Japanese? What are you going to use it for? Why bother?" I just thought it looked interesting and wanted a new skill!! I even had one person give me a lecture on how I should learn something more useful. *eyeroll* If Michael wants to learn for the sake of learning, and become a more well-rounded person for it, I say props to her.

(After a few months of people asking me that I eventually just responded with "Why do you go running every day?" or "Why do you knit?", or whatever their hobbies were, or even "Why does anyone do anything?!" it drove me mad!!)

I agree.

I have started learning Russian because I have an interest in Russian literature and people always say 'but you learned Spanish and German from your Mum/Dad, you don't need another language and if you do, pick Chinese, it is more useful' but it's just a fun hobby not something I'm doing for employment prospects or whatever. I hate this notion that everything should have a 'useful' motive. 

[formergothardite]

33 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I was packing up my belongings and getting ready to put my NE house on the market to move to NC until I read this! 

 Most people don't think snake bites when they think of NC, but yes, we do have snakes. That bite. And are very hard to see. 

They even end up in Lowes.

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/local/copperhead-bites-lowes-employee-in-gardening-department/287775333

[Palimpsest]

Four and a half feet and in Lowes?

We theoretically have Northern copperheads here but I've never seen one.  They are reclusive and count as endangered so it is illegal to kill them.

[Nikedagain?]

On 5/19/2016 at 9:15 AM, HowsMolly said:

I'm not a native or anything, but my boyfriend and I are moving to NC this summer and have spent a lot of time there over the past few months. I've never experienced anything but Southern Hospitality there...no one seems to care what your orientation, race, religion, etc is. They're just generally simple, pleasant people. I'm sure that unless you actively tried to start a debate about religion or politics, the locals would mind their own business.  My parents lived in Georgia in the early 90s and had a similar impression; they loved the people there. Don't knock the South til you've tried it!

I am a native, and luckily I live in an extremely liberal enclave within this wackadoodle state. My advance apologies for our idiot governor and the clowns in the General Assembly.

But aside from that, it is a beautiful state. 

[HereticHick]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I was packing up my belongings and getting ready to put my NE house on the market to move to NC until I read this!  

And we hadn't even started discussing snake handlin' in church yet!! : )

[RosyDaisy]

We got snakes here in Alabama. The most common are cottonmouths, copperheads, and timber rattlers.

ETA: Copperheads are not endangered here.