Ben Living With the Duggars - MERGE

[antwan]

Now you have reminded me of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, which now that I am grown is kinda weird.

I mean, if a random guy sat down in any park today and told children they had to kiss him to get a toy, he would be arrested. Then theres the mail man who thinks its totally cool to just randomly open Santa's mail like that and read it. He knows everything about Santa because he reads all the mail going in and out. (Ok seriously, I love Fred Astair, but I thought the mailman was wierd when he started opening mail) I had a couple other issues too, but I don't remember them now.

As for Rudolph, I hated how they made Santa. Santa wasn't very nice. I thought Santa was supposed to be kind, and I just don't see Santa being rude to a reindeer just because he's different. I didn't like how Santa was depicted at all. :-(

I know, right? Santa is portrayed as a judgmental jerk. :naughty: And how about on the Island of Misfit Toys, when Rudolf walks out into the night and leaves the friggin' door open. Um, North POLE, people. Or when the snowman gets sappy and wants to sing a song, so a banjo flies into his hand out of nowhere. Or my personal favorite, the bird who can't fly ("I swim") is on the sled at the very end. The elves are handing out umbrellas and then tossing the toys overboard. They get to the bird who can't fly, look at the umbrella, look at him,......and then apparently toss him to his DEATH because they don't give him the dang umbrella. HE CAN'T FLY!!! :angry-banghead:

[FJismyheadship]

I know, right? Santa is portrayed as a judgmental jerk. :naughty: And how about on the Island of Misfit Toys, when Rudolf walks out into the night and leaves the friggin' door open. Um, North POLE, people. Or when the snowman gets sappy and wants to sing a song, so a banjo flies into his hand out of nowhere. Or my personal favorite, the bird who can't fly ("I swim") is on the sled at the very end. The elves are handing out umbrellas and then tossing the toys overboard. They get to the bird who can't fly, look at the umbrella, look at him,......and then apparently toss him to his DEATH because they don't give him the dang umbrella. HE CAN'T FLY!!! :angry-banghead:

When I heard the song, I always imagined Santa being kind to Rudolph. SANTA understood. SANTA knew Rudolph was special. The movie makes me sad because Santa isn't kind.

I think Frosty the Snowman is interesting, and probably the Duggar kids would never get to watch it. Even if you ignore the magic and the talking snowman, you still have Karen, who is the only child given a name, and is clearly the leader of those kids. Plus, she thinks its okay to leave town as long as she is home in time for supper. And then, it was too cold to be on the refrigerated box car, but not too cold to be carried for half a day and through the night by a SNOWMAN!? When even the rabbit was shivering!? (I have analyzed this movie to death because its currently my daughters favorite, so even though its nowhere near Christmas time, we are still watching Frosty. If I let her, she would watch it all day everyday.) I would like to make a skit one day about what it would REALLY be like to have a snowman come to life. Those kids would get so tired of taking care of him because he JUST CAME TO LIFE so he wouldn't know how to do anything! They'd either leave him to melt or stick him on the train headed north just to get rid of him. Of course, I guess the magic hat is what made Frosty able to talk and count to five and understand who the President, the Marines, and what the red thermometer meant, but he didn't know what a lamp post was, a traffic light, and assumed the cop would give him a ticket to the north pole.

Anyway, Karen was clearly raised to be independent, so thats a no no for the Duggars.

[Coco]

When I heard the song, I always imagined Santa being kind to Rudolph. SANTA understood. SANTA knew Rudolph was special. The movie makes me sad because Santa isn't kind.

I think Frosty the Snowman is interesting, and probably the Duggar kids would never get to watch it. Even if you ignore the magic and the talking snowman, you still have Karen, who is the only child given a name, and is clearly the leader of those kids. Plus, she thinks its okay to leave town as long as she is home in time for supper. And then, it was too cold to be on the refrigerated box car, but not too cold to be carried for half a day and through the night by a SNOWMAN!? When even the rabbit was shivering!? (I have analyzed this movie to death because its currently my daughters favorite, so even though its nowhere near Christmas time, we are still watching Frosty. If I let her, she would watch it all day everyday.) I would like to make a skit one day about what it would REALLY be like to have a snowman come to life. Those kids would get so tired of taking care of him because he JUST CAME TO LIFE so he wouldn't know how to do anything! They'd either leave him to melt or stick him on the train headed north just to get rid of him. Of course, I guess the magic hat is what made Frosty able to talk and count to five and understand who the President, the Marines, and what the red thermometer meant, but he didn't know what a lamp post was, a traffic light, and assumed the cop would give him a ticket to the north pole.

Anyway, Karen was clearly raised to be independent, so thats a no no for the Duggars.

Rudolph seems like a '50's made-for-TV movie that became immortal. I guess it was more normal back then for the dads and bosses (that yelling elf guy) to be angry and harsh to everyone. I usually mute the yelling if i can. Don't need another migraine during the holidays. :lol:

FJismyheadship, has your daughter seen Frozen? Mine is 4 and she begged to see Frosty every day for a long time after Christmas, too. (what is it with that movie lol) Frozen has a cute snowman but there's no weird magician dude threatening little kids. And the songs are better (until you hit the 100x mark, but oh well)

[chillywilly]

Is there any chance this engagement will break? Is that allowed? Like someone above said maybe being around him all the time will make the mismatch seem more apparent. I just feel awful for Jessa. I know we don't see everything being that we only "know them" from TV. But it just seems so obvious that Ben is way more into Jessa (for whatever reason) than she is into him and he's just so immature. As much as I don't agree with many things about their lifestyle, seeing anyone walking into a potentially lifelong unhappy marriage just makes my heart break.

[Hooligan]

Is there any chance this engagement will break? Is that allowed? Like someone above said maybe being around him all the time will make the mismatch seem more apparent. I just feel awful for Jessa. I know we don't see everything being that we only "know them" from TV. But it just seems so obvious that Ben is way more into Jessa (for whatever reason) than she is into him and he's just so immature. As much as I don't agree with many things about their lifestyle, seeing anyone walking into a potentially lifelong unhappy marriage just makes my heart break.

I have read that once in a while they break but I think it is viewed almost as darkly as divorce. I am pretty sure the wedding will happen.

[pega127]

Boob knows he made a horrible mistake with Benboob. Now, the critical question is HOW to spin this into Christian life lesson? Do it, Boob, before Jessa gets pregnant!

[grandmadugger]

I have read that once in a while they break but I think it is viewed almost as darkly as divorce. I am pretty sure the wedding will happen.

One of the Bates' boys, I don't know their names just started reading their blog after finding this site, broke a courtship. He ended up marrying a non-fundie girl.

[gustava]

One of the Bates' boys, I don't know their names just started reading their blog after finding this site, broke a courtship. He ended up marrying a non-fundie girl.

I think she broke the courtship. He married a non-fundie who's rapidly ingesting gallons of fundiedom.

[Hooligan]

I think she broke the courtship. He married a non-fundie who's rapidly ingesting gallons of fundiedom.

Yeah I saw that but I think breaking a courtship as bad as they may view it is not as bad as breaking an engagement.

[lilith]

There is no way Jessa is getting out of this now, when it's all being filmed. The TLC contracts are more binding than the actual legal marriage.

[grandmadugger]

I think she broke the courtship. He married a non-fundie who's rapidly ingesting gallons of fundiedom.

Oh that's sad. I was hoping it was a sign that maybe hadn't ingested all the kool-aid. :angry-banghead:

[Toothfairy]

I think the broken courtship would make a great storyline. Even a Duggar divorce. It shows that just because you think God picked out your spouse for you doesn't mean it will work out. You could do all these things and things can still go wrong.

[Feberin]

I think the broken courtship would make a great storyline. Even a Duggar divorce. It shows that just because you think God picked out your spouse for you doesn't mean it will work out. You could do all these things and things can still go wrong.

I'm sure TLC and viewers would be interested but I can't imagine Jim Bob wanting to air that sort of storyline. And if they show that even if you do everything right then things can go horribly wrong then what's the point in doing everything right in the first place? It messes up their whole giving away pieces of your heart and that dating is a one way ticket to hell.

[grandmadugger]

I'm sure TLC and viewers would be interested but I can't imagine Jim Bob wanting to air that sort of storyline. And if they show that even if you do everything right then things can go horribly wrong then what's the point in doing everything right in the first place? It messes up their whole giving away pieces of your heart and that dating is a one way ticket to hell.

What if Ben turns out to be an abusive asshole? Would JB force Jessa to "keep sweet" if TLC cameras were still around? I can't fathom any parent doing that but then again I can't fathom a lot of what the Duggars do. Maybe I just answered my own question. :(

[pennsatuckey]

I'm sure TLC and viewers would be interested but I can't imagine Jim Bob wanting to air that sort of storyline. And if they show that even if you do everything right then things can go horribly wrong then what's the point in doing everything right in the first place? It messes up their whole giving away pieces of your heart and that dating is a one way ticket to hell.

It also wouldn't be that great for a Duggar kid to go through. Divorces, from what I've seen, aren't very pleasant and can be emotionally strenuous for those involved. In that position, I wouldn't feel very comfortable with that being broadcasted. That particular child might find themselves, for all intents and purposes, shunned by the fundie community, and since that's all they've got and all they've ever known, it would be particularly stressful.

I can't even imagine going through a divorce and then having my entire family, my friends, and my community suddenly pull the rug out from under me.

Yeah, it'd be a fun storyline for the viewers, but the Duggars are still people.

[TheChibi]

Is there any chance this engagement will break? Is that allowed? Like someone above said maybe being around him all the time will make the mismatch seem more apparent. I just feel awful for Jessa. I know we don't see everything being that we only "know them" from TV. But it just seems so obvious that Ben is way more into Jessa (for whatever reason) than she is into him and he's just so immature. As much as I don't agree with many things about their lifestyle, seeing anyone walking into a potentially lifelong unhappy marriage just makes my heart break.

Didn't one of the Munck (spelling?) daughters break off her engagement right before the wedding? I seem to recall that she did.

[grandmadugger]

Yep there's a thread on JF about it too viewtopic.php?f=96&t=12106 I'm off to read it now. So much fundie gossip I've missed.

[wittyname]

Now you have reminded me of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, which now that I am grown is kinda weird.

I mean, if a random guy sat down in any park today and told children they had to kiss him to get a toy, he would be arrested. Then theres the mail man who thinks its totally cool to just randomly open Santa's mail like that and read it. He knows everything about Santa because he reads all the mail going in and out. (Ok seriously, I love Fred Astair, but I thought the mailman was wierd when he started opening mail) I had a couple other issues too, but I don't remember them now.

As for Rudolph, I hated how they made Santa. Santa wasn't very nice. I thought Santa was supposed to be kind, and I just don't see Santa being rude to a reindeer just because he's different. I didn't like how Santa was depicted at all. :-(

That reminds me of this: youtu.be/D0Pu7ZgEAwU

(First post, btw. Hi all!)

[socalrules]

I feel sad and embarrassed for Jessa. Her soon to be husband has no education, no job and has to live in her daddy's "guest house" while he helps with odd jobs. He obviously has no way to support a family when he can't support himself. I am sure she dreamed about her own house and no longer living under the thumb of her parents. Now, she and Ben are stuck. As long as Ben "works" for Jim Bob, they will always live their lives on someone else's terms. Even if they receive their own check from TLC, it will only be temporary. By working for Jim Bob and going to school online (which I don't believe) Ben lessens his chances of being able to find a job in the outside world later on. What kind of work will there be for a 25 year old with no education who spent the last 7 years doing off jobs for his father-in-law. At least with Derrick, he can always do what he wants because he is employable to the outside world and can truly financially support his family. I feel like Jim Bob is going to be the one wearing the pants on Ben and Jessa's marriage.

[Toothfairy]

A lot of Duggar fans are questioning if Ben and Jessa should marry. If you can't support yourself, you shouldn't get married or have kids. Especially at 19. Ben is a dumb ass. Jessa has to play along to get what she wants. Ben is just making it harder for her. But once married I could see Ben going back home if Jim Bob doesn't give Ben what he wants.

[pega127]

There is no way Jessa is getting out of this now, when it's all being filmed. The TLC contracts are more binding than the actual legal marriage.

Or their obedience to God..

[isarhenne]

Ben is clearly not ready for marriage. He is 19 and, can I say that?, doesn't really seem like the brightest bulb in the room.

Even Jessa is not ready for marriage. She is older and wiser than Ben, but that won't matter because she is a woman. She just doesn't seem to like Ben at all. And I can see him being kind of asshole-ish.

So, if they are really going to get married, then I think it is a good thing for Jessa that they live next to JB and Michelle. This will be good for a just-in-case-scenario.

I'm still hoping that they'll break off the engagement. Jessa deserves better and Ben deserves a real education and time to grow up.

[Hooligan]

Ben is clearly not ready for marriage. He is 19 and, can I say that?, doesn't really seem like the brightest bulb in the room.

Even Jessa is not ready for marriage. She is older and wiser than Ben, but that won't matter because she is a woman. She just doesn't seem to like Ben at all. And I can see him being kind of asshole-ish.

So, if they are really going to get married, then I think it is a good thing for Jessa that they live next to JB and Michelle. This will be good for a just-in-case-scenario.

I'm still hoping that they'll break off the engagement. Jessa deserves better and Ben deserves a real education and time to grow up.

I will hope with you and for the same reasons. But everything I am seeing tells me that both BenBoob and Jess's number one expected function in this cult is to start producing as many kids as possible ASAP. Liking each other does not seem as important as haveing a sexual attraction. Marriage appears to serve no other function other than to reproduce.

[LongDogMom]

I feel sad and embarrassed for Jessa. Her soon to be husband has no education, no job and has to live in her daddy's "guest house" while he helps with odd jobs. He obviously has no way to support a family when he can't support himself. I am sure she dreamed about her own house and no longer living under the thumb of her parents. Now, she and Ben are stuck. As long as Ben "works" for Jim Bob, they will always live their lives on someone else's terms. Even if they receive their own check from TLC, it will only be temporary. By working for Jim Bob and going to school online (which I don't believe) Ben lessens his chances of being able to find a job in the outside world later on. What kind of work will there be for a 25 year old with no education who spent the last 7 years doing off jobs for his father-in-law. At least with Derrick, he can always do what he wants because he is employable to the outside world and can truly financially support his family. I feel like Jim Bob is going to be the one wearing the pants on Ben and Jessa's marriage.

Maybe that's what JB wants...SIL's who work for him and live on his compound so he is the one who stays in control and calls the shots. Hard to go against their teachings if you are living in their houses, on their land and they are paying your bills.

Also, I remember hearing Ben wants to be a preacher so maybe JB figures he can be a preacher in their church and he doesn't need any formal training.

I could see Ben being somewhat abusive once the infatuation wears off. He is very immature and opinionated and that's not a great combination. If he actually physically hurt her, though, I suspect she would go to her father and that Jim Bob would either talk to Ben to make sure it didn't happen again or declare Ben no longer Godly enough and therefore Jessa should move home. Although not sure they'd actually let her divorce. Has that ever happened in the Fundy world? The husband being abusive..I'm sure it must have. Does the woman's family shun her if she leaves due to physical abuse?

[Coco]

Jessa's smart enough to know when he might be getting angry and kind of out of control and ask him to go do something to let off steam so that he doesn't end up hurting her or damaging their things. She grew up with all those howler brothers after all. Ben does seem like someone who could get violent. :| That's one of the bad things about limited experience and marrying so young - he doesn't seem to have a view of the big picture so little problems can make him overreact. They're both so young.