Real Life Fundie Encountersâ„¢ Part 2

[FJismyheadship]

The young Seewalds are in town.

My friend and her girlfriend saw them at Olive Garden yesterday. Her girlfriend waited on them. She said Ben was kind of a dick but Jessa was really sweet. She also looks ready to pop any day now.

[Crocoduck]

I was in Michigan on business last week. Driving through the small town of Lowell during rush hour, I had to wait 3 cycles to get through the traffic light for the main intersection.

There was a family standing on the corner holding signs with Bible verses while the patriarch held the biggest Bible I've ever seen and shouted at motorists. The family composition was older man (doing the shouting), younger man (assuming his son - strong resemblance), even younger woman wearing long skirt with long hair (wife of younger man?) and about 4 kids under the age of 5. I REALLY wanted to take a picture, but did not want to invite any interaction.

Any locals know who these people are or what their deal is?

[Walking Cat Bed]

It's always fun when there are people paired up to study within ten feet of where I've been eating my lunch, and the only thing I hear from ANY of them was one girl getting her study pal's attention when the latter was looking for her...

And I can clearly hear the trio conducting a Bible study twenty feet away.

What was it Jesus said about praying on street corners?

[19 cats and counting]

I was at a lifeguard tournament on the beach (NJ) and there were some other spectators (a family, kids between 10-15) where all of the daughters (3) wore Wholesome Wear esque swimsuits.

Keep in mind this was a lifeguard tournament where the competitors were tan, muscular men, many wearing speedos. A very Nike moment (and one of the reasons I went).

[Geechee Girl]

3 separate sets of fundies on campus yesterday. We had JWs, some pro-birth group with graphic fetus posters, AAAANNNNNDDD guys administering the "Are You a Good Person?" test. There were too many people around their table for me to see what kind of tracts & booklets available.

[SaturnianCatalina]

I am 99% positive I just encountered a fundie family but I was perplexed because while they had on the expected clothing (floor length skirts, long sleeves, layers, all very loose), the mom and older daughters all had very short hair. It was cute, don't get me wrong. But very un-fundie. Is this a deal-breaker that would move them into the fundie-light category? Or could they be hardcore fundie and just living in a constant state of cognitive dissonance on this issue a la Erika Shupe? This is one of the most confusing types of discrepancies for me. It's one thing to pick and choose which Bible passages you follow, but having such a constantly visible violation of 1 Corinthians, which seems to be one of those randomly important tenets of modesty in fundie woman circles, doesn't make a lot of sense. (For reference the scripture I mentioned says this: "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering." - American King James Version)

Recent converts, perhaps? (Do people often convert to fundie-dom?)

I sometimes wonder how fundie women deal with cancer treatment and losing their hair. Do they just avoid treatment to avoid the hair loss, get super long wigs, or what?

[MamaJunebug]

Oh, what to do? There's a possibility of a faith-based film making the local theater if enough tickets are presold. Ay-yi-yi it would be a RLFE smorgasbord!!!

Do I order a ticket?

ETA: just noticed I sleep "with the purity bear." I'm howling.

[LaParisienne]

Juste wanted to share my little "fundie encounter".

I was in the class of a girl, called Odile (catholic private school). She was not authorized to wear jeans or T-shirt and changed her clothes only once a month, so i let you guess how bad she smelled... She was only allowed to wear navy blue, black or brown clothes. She did not have the right to hang out with "us" or go out anywhere without her mom. Her mother told her once that I was a prostitute because i had too many clothes and also that I was an evil because I had a boyfriend, did shopping with friends and stuff. :twisted:

Her mother used to be a "catholic" teacher (I don't know how you call it :embarrassed: ) but was fired when she slapped one of my friend because he refused to read a verse... Then, she lied about me to the school director, but it didn't really work out. Since then, my mom forbade me to talk to Odile. :roll:

Her parents and her are afraid of black/Arab people; gay people, jews, feminists.. Well, I think they are afraid of everything and everyone expect themselves... There is so much more to say but well.. :lol:

Anyway, today, she is in a Law School but doesn't do well. She has still no friend and no "outside" disctraction. She is 22...

(Sorry for my bad english but i really want to tell you about this :cray-cray: family)

[mango_fandango]

Juste wanted to share my little "fundie encounter".

I was in the class of a girl, called Odile (catholic private school). She was not authorized to wear jeans or T-shirt and changed her clothes only once a month, so i let you guess how bad she smelled... She was only allowed to wear navy blue, black or brown clothes. She did not have the right to hang out with "us" or go out anywhere without her mom. Her mother told her once that I was a prostitute because i had too many clothes and also that I was an evil because I had a boyfriend, did shopping with friends and stuff. :twisted:

Her mother used to be a "catholic" teacher (I don't know how you call it :embarrassed: ) but was fired when she slapped one of my friend because he refused to read a verse... Then, she lied about me to the school director, but it didn't really work out. Since then, my mom forbade me to talk to Odile. :roll:

Her parents and her are afraid of black/Arab people; gay people, jews, feminists.. Well, I think they are afraid of everything and everyone expect themselves... There is so much more to say but well.. :lol:

Anyway, today, she is in a Law School but doesn't do well. She has still no friend and no "outside" disctraction. She is 22...

(Sorry for my bad english but i really want to tell you about this :cray-cray: family)

:pink-shock: :pink-shock: :ew: :ew:

And your English is great, by the way! :)

[MLE]

So there is this fundie family who shops at my grocery store regularly. I live at the edge of a fairly big city and I'm guessing they live in the rural areas nearby and come in to the city for groceries. A Walmart nearby often has genuine cowboys, as well. Anyway, this family does the uber long denim shorts, hair and has quite a few girls. I don't usually see any bigger boys, but that may be because shopping is just for ladies? :pull-hair: Last time they came in, all the girls were wearing black t-shirts that prophesied the end of times/brimstone-y type stuff. I, happily, was wearing a defrauding short dress with bare arms. I also had my defrauding 3 yo daughter with me (tank top and short skort). As it was 90+ degrees, it made sense to avoid black, denim and full coverage clothing. I try actively smiling at these girls and wish I could explain to them that Jesus cares way less about how you are dressed than they think.

[J.O.Y.nomore]

So there is this fundie family who shops at my grocery store regularly. I live at the edge of a fairly big city and I'm guessing they live in the rural areas nearby and come in to the city for groceries. A Walmart nearby often has genuine cowboys, as well. Anyway, this family does the uber long denim shorts, hair and has quite a few girls. I don't usually see any bigger boys, but that may be because shopping is just for ladies? :pull-hair: Last time they came in, all the girls were wearing black t-shirts that prophesied the end of times/brimstone-y type stuff. I, happily, was wearing a defrauding short dress with bare arms. I also had my defrauding 3 yo daughter with me (tank top and short skort). As it was 90+ degrees, it made sense to avoid black, denim and full coverage clothing. I try actively smiling at these girls and wish I could explain to them that Jesus cares way less about how you are dressed than they think.

Did any of them smile back? I feel sad for kids who are raised with such a fear dominated world view. Thinking about damnation, judgment, guilt, and the end of the world all the time cannot be healthy.

[MLE]

Did any of them smile back? I feel sad for kids who are raised with such a fear dominated world view. Thinking about damnation, judgment, guilt, and the end of the world all the time cannot be healthy.

Not really. They look away/refocus on what they're buying.

[quiversR4hunting]

I just got to my Uni library to read the class postings before my class starts. I sit down and notice a white button down shirt across from me- he has a name tag- I look closer- short sleeve white button down. His name tag says "Elder " and LDS. He has another guy with him making signs or something. The other guy is looking up stuff on facebook and making some signs about addiction (in scary font) and "time to change" (in a happy bubble) (I can kind of see his screen). I have kept my headphones off purposely to see if he will try and convert me. He has now moved on and poor (black) guy at the library counter is now getting talked at by this young LDS guy.

I just had to share because it’s been a long time since I have seen a LDS missionary on campus. Well, I guess time to put on my headphones and do my work ïŠ

:)

[beckerbuns]

I'm in northern California and have RLFE more often than you might think. If the LDS folks count, we always have a pair or two of the elders living nearby. My boyfriend often engages them in conversation when we encounter them at McDonald's or something, making "Book of Mormon" references like "well thank goodness you weren't sent to Uganda". I always wonder how much they get of that stuff and feel a little sorry for them...

[JoyfulSel]

I was at a lifeguard tournament on the beach (NJ) and there were some other spectators (a family, kids between 10-15) where all of the daughters (3) wore Wholesome Wear esque swimsuits.

Keep in mind this was a lifeguard tournament where the competitors were tan, muscular men, many wearing speedos. A very Nike moment (and one of the reasons I went).

Ohhh, I live in NJ and haven't encountered any fundies at the beach yet. The "closest" I got was a group of Indian people next to me who were almost fully clothed at the beach. All the men were in shorts, of course, but the women had either a full length skirt or long workout type pants with shirts covered up the the elbow.

Funny story though, the woman in the skirt went into the water with her husband and son and a huge wave came and knocked her down, causing her skirt to go all the way up, exposing her, umm, thong. Her husband desperately tried to lower the skirt but another wave came and knocked them both over. It was hilarious and painful to see at the same time.

[Criscat]

Not sure if it's a fundie encounter, but My former church claimed it was non denominational but veered really toward conservative baptist, IFB. Kids got married young and were expected to do so. Not uncommon to see a 19,20,21 year old getting married, though there were outliers. Very much into trashing any other form of Christianity as not the "right" one. I was searching and had Come from the Catholic Church which was the spawn of Satan to them.i spent a lot of time trying to get them to realize that my family was not going to hell just because they were Catholic--but finally gave up. :doh: I even got baptized in the church because they had me convinced my infant baptism was invalid. :think:

I left when it became clear that because I was in my 30s, still unmarried, and it was clear that most thought I wasn't Christan enough.i was also disgusted that the pastoral council denounced any involvement of women in ministry unless it was the nursery or preschool. They deny it, but women are definitely 2nd class citizens and my married friends brought submissiveness to a whole new level--asking their spouse before they could do ANYTHING. :angry-banghead: Most either homeschool or have the kids go to the church school. It got so uncomfortable that I returned to the heathen Catholic Church and am very happy there---but most of my friends from that church refuse to have anything to do with me now. :think: :(

[morri]

I saw a jehova guy at the bus hub yesterday (10 different busses go from that station) he wasnt proselytising but he had his watchtower mags in the hand.

[iweartanktops]

I thought I would share my first hand knowledge of a Fundie courtship! I will call these two "D" (the man) and "Y" (the woman). D is a black man raised in a mainstream non-denominational Christian home. He was an aspiring pastor taking college classes at the local Bible College (accredited) and serving in the church as a youth group leader volunteer when he met Y who was also volunteering in the youth group as a leader and teaching at a culinary school. They were 24 and 25 years old respectively. D was renting a room at his best friend's parents' house and Y still lived at home where her and her 6 siblings had all been home schooled. They also lived at home during their post high school studies (culinary arts for her) and her two older sisters stayed home until they married at 30. When Y noticed that D was interested in her, she handed him a piece of paper with her dad's phone number on it and said, "if you want to get to know me better, you will have to call my dad; here's his phone number." D was interested in her but as a 24 year old man, he thought that was crazy so he tucked away the paper and forgot about it. Months later he was still taken by her, so he knew he had to call Father Fundie. For 6 months Father Fundie basically required D to date him! This was 6 months that he was still around Y at the church and having casual conversation with her but not able to talk on the phone or hang out. Father Fundie finally gave the green light after about 6 months and they could talk on the phone! At some point D was also allowed to start coming up to what I call "The Farm." They live in a house up in a rural area on a hill. D was able to drive up and spend time with Y and the entire family. The grandparents voiced disapproval because of his race. This is one thing I give Father Fundie credit for - he defended D! He put his foot down and told his parents that D would be spending time with the family and they would accept him or not come around! Anyway, eventually Father Fundie and his wife gave their blessing for courtship. Y and D had to sign a contract with them that they would never be alone together and they would not kiss! I'm not sure what other details were on the contract. D often had some freak outs during the relationship because FF was constantly talking to him about marrying his daughter. D was just trying to get to know her and enjoy her company and he wasn't ready to tell him that he was certain this would lead to marriage! I remember him nearly breaking up with her several times simply due to all of the pressure from her family! I didn't mean to make this so long but it's just a window into a very close relationship I have with the fundies... There's so much more if anyone has questions or is interested.

[justoneoftwo]

I thought I would share my first hand knowledge of a Fundie courtship! I will call these two "D" (the man) and "Y" (the woman). D is a black man raised in a mainstream non-denominational Christian home. He was an aspiring pastor taking college classes at the local Bible College (accredited) and serving in the church as a youth group leader volunteer when he met Y who was also volunteering in the youth group as a leader and teaching at a culinary school. They were 24 and 25 years old respectively. D was renting a room at his best friend's parents' house and Y still lived at home where her and her 6 siblings had all been home schooled. They also lived at home during their post high school studies (culinary arts for her) and her two older sisters stayed home until they married at 30. When Y noticed that D was interested in her, she handed him a piece of paper with her dad's phone number on it and said, "if you want to get to know me better, you will have to call my dad; here's his phone number." D was interested in her but as a 24 year old man, he thought that was crazy so he tucked away the paper and forgot about it. Months later he was still taken by her, so he knew he had to call Father Fundie. For 6 months Father Fundie basically required D to date him! This was 6 months that he was still around Y at the church and having casual conversation with her but not able to talk on the phone or hang out. Father Fundie finally gave the green light after about 6 months and they could talk on the phone! At some point D was also allowed to start coming up to what I call "The Farm." They live in a house up in a rural area on a hill. D was able to drive up and spend time with Y and the entire family. The grandparents voiced disapproval because of his race. This is one thing I give Father Fundie credit for - he defended D! He put his foot down and told his parents that D would be spending time with the family and they would accept him or not come around! Anyway, eventually Father Fundie and his wife gave their blessing for courtship. Y and D had to sign a contract with them that they would never be alone together and they would not kiss! I'm not sure what other details were on the contract. D often had some freak outs during the relationship because FF was constantly talking to him about marrying his daughter. D was just trying to get to know her and enjoy her company and he wasn't ready to tell him that he was certain this would lead to marriage! I remember him nearly breaking up with her several times simply due to all of the pressure from her family! I didn't mean to make this so long but it's just a window into a very close relationship I have with the fundies... There's so much more if anyone has questions or is interested.

I would love to hear more!

[iweartanktops]

When the babies get down for naps in about a half hour I'll post more... It's pretty intense, right?!

[Fascinated]

When the babies get down for naps in about a half hour I'll post more... It's pretty intense, right?!

I look forward to your next installment, too. (One small favour: it will be easier for me to read if you could break it into paragraphs, with thanks in advance :geek:.) Very interesting!

[iweartanktops]

No problem on the paragraphs! I should go back and fix that! I hadn't anticipated how much I had to say!

I'm not sure where to resume... Eventually, 3 years and 3 months of courting later, to be exact, D proposed to Y. I had the pleasure of hiding in the bushes to photograph it. At the end after she said yes, he reminded her of their agreement to kiss once engaged. So peck, they did!

There was about 6 months until the wedding and that's when Y - 29 years old - finally moved from her parents sheltered home (where The Babysitters Club books were too "worldly" to be allowed) to moving in with her husband and able to spend time alone with him for the very first time! She was quite vocal about her intentions of getting pregnant as soon as possible to stop working and be at home where a wife belongs. The first two years were very difficult as she fell into depression from being unable to get pregnant. I also think it's been hard to have a husband who's a pastor. Pastors are always helping others - often on-call for whomever may need them.

Now they have a one year old and one on the way. They also moved out of the state and away from both families. It was incredibly difficult for Y, having been so attached to her family and D has been carefully monitored and at times micromanaged by Father Fundie. Before they married they were still at an impasse about school. D pushing public school and Y pushing SOTDRT. It will be very interesting to see how that plays out! The two older sisters have several children between them and are both home schooling strictly!

Father Fundie and his wife are ridiculous in my opinion! They say that they decided to home school because the oldest came home crying from her first day of kindergarten. So that was it, they didn't send her back. Also, I may have mentioned this on another thread but Y recently asked me what I think about her allowing the kids to play on team sports. I told her I wasn't sure why it wouldn't be a good idea and asked why she was hesitant. She said that growing up her family wasn't allowed to play because her mom played sports and remembered being mean to other kids. So Mother Fundie's logic was, to avoid her children being mean to other kids in team sports just don't allow them to play.

[iweartanktops]

I keep thinking of more and more but I don't want to bore people....

Like Y refuses to work because she "can't," because babies. But for awhile D could barely put food on the table. I mean if you don't want to put the kid in daycare work one day a week and let him watch her. He's a great dad! That's not a lot of money but it's SOMETHING and when things are that tight I'm assuming a couple hundred dollars makes a huge difference! But Father Fundie says...

[IreneIssh]

I keep thinking of more and more but I don't want to bore people....

Like Y refuses to work because she "can't," because babies. But for awhile D could barely put food on the table. I mean if you don't want to put the kid in daycare work one day a week and let him watch her. He's a great dad! That's not a lot of money but it's SOMETHING and when things are that tight I'm assuming a couple hundred dollars makes a huge difference! But Father Fundie says...

This is super interesting! Did D not have much familiarity with fundies/courtship before this? I know he's a religious man as well, but I would have been RUNNING AWAY when she gave me her fathers number

[iweartanktops]

This is super interesting! Did D not have much familiarity with fundies/courtship before this? I know he's a religious man as well, but I would have been RUNNING AWAY when she gave me her fathers number

No experience at all! He tried to run away. It took him at least 6 months to call her dad because he thought the idea was so insane, but he continued to be increasingly interested in her (it probably helps that she's pretty, but there are lots of pretty women) and said he just got to a point where he knew she was serious and he didn't have a chance if he didn't call. Personally, FF is creepy as hell! If I were him I would have run for the hills after the first "date." Hopefully I made it clear that dating FF for 6ish months was one on one! Y was not present! I don't know how he did it. I think Y is a sweetheart but damn.