Real Life Fundie Encountersâ„¢ Part 2

[warriorblade8857]

Saw a mom and kids at Home Depot yesterday. Mom was wearing a niqab, the girls were wearing chadors, and the boys were in t-shirts and jeans.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Last night I dropped my friend off at her house and as I went down Her street there was a big church having a gathering. I didn't get a good look but the name was in Spanish and it started with Apostolic. This is me, alone in the car: "Oooo Apostolic...oh they have head coverings!" Yes, head coverings are what excite me in life.

[IronicallyMaeve]

I think I saw fundies today at my work...four little girls in prairie dresses (ages 5 to 12 maybe) french braid pigtails. They were with their grandmother (I assume) who was wearing pants. They bought flip flops, among other things.

[Ralar]

[thoughtful]

Ralar, that picture has inspired me.

Every film you rent

Every movie, gent,

Every rule you dent,

Every penny spent,

I'll be watching you!

Every film you lease,

You will get no peace,

I will never cease,

I’m the frum* police!

I'll be watching you.

It is my place

To be in your face!

My alarm bells ring, and spur my meddling.

Every song you sing,

Every little thing,

I know this may sting :D

But it’s happening --

I'll be watching you!

*frum -- observant, devout, pious

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[church_of_dog]

Ralar, that picture has inspired me.

Every film you rent

Every movie, gent,

Every rule you dent,

Every penny spent,

I'll be watching you!

Every film you lease,

You will get no peace,

I will never cease,

I’m the frum* police!

I'll be watching you.

It is my place

To be in your face!

My alarm bells ring, and spur my meddling.

Every song you sing,

Every little thing,

I know this may sting :D

But it’s happening --

I'll be watching you!

*frum -- observant, devout, pious

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So many extra points for the pun! :clap: :clap: :clap:

[thoughtful]

I had to leave for work, but more lyrics occurred to me as I was driving, and now I am home again. So here is the complete "Frum Police" parody:

Every film you rent

Every movie, gent,

Every rule you dent,

Every penny spent,

I'll be watching you!

Every film you lease,

You will get no peace,

I will never cease,

I’m the frum police!

I'll be watching you.

It is my place

To be in your face!

My alarm bells ring, and spur my meddling.

Every song you sing,

Every little thing,

I know this may sting

But it’s happening --

I'll be watching you!

Since you must know today is tisha b’av,

Then you must know that I say this, shkotz,* with love,

If you transgress, it’s my job to give a shove

I feel I must, I’ve been sent from G-d above!

I keep kvetching,** schmendrick,*** gonif,**** please!

Think you can futz

With the rules, you putz?*****

I have got you beat, and I won’t let you cheat.

Since this day is sad,

You must not be glad,

Don’t rent Breaking Bad.

Go and daven, ****** lad,

I'll be watching you!

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* naughty boy

** whining, nagging

*** fool, idiot

**** thief, cheat

***** literally - penis. Figuratively - what is usually meant by calling a person a penis! :D

****** say prayers

[DeFrauder]

[

Those are gaucho pants, not "Groucho" pants (sez the woman who saw them come into fashion in her youth).

I think they are coming back. I saw them advertised by a store I frequent.

[DeFrauder]

I saw a LOT of fundies at a truck and tractor pull this weekend. :lol:

I mean dozens of them.

It was super hot so there where hundreds of women in various states of defrauding dress with a bunch of frumpers dotted between them.

[Crocoduck]

[attachment=0]image.jpg[/attachment]

Who has that kind of free time?! :cray-cray:

[rosethorne]

Who has that kind of free time?! :cray-cray:

Well, the sign says they aren't permitted to watch movies right now, so I speculate that this is their "permitted" form of entertainment!

[Crocoduck]

Well, the sign says they aren't permitted to watch movies right now, so I speculate that this is their "permitted" form of entertainment!

I reckon, but shouldn't a truly observant Jew be studying the Torah? Any Jewish scholars care to educate us on the righteousness of spying on a Redbox on the Sabbath?

[PennySycamore]

I grew up near, and knew a couple members of the House of David cult. They were the opposite of Quiverfull and eventually died out because of their belief in celibacy. The House of David baseball team was quite famous during the Depression and WWII. They toured the U.S. and played semi-pro baseball and attracted quite a crowd because the men did not cut their hair or shave. Wikipedia has a decent article with some pictures of them https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_ ... commune%29 (link not broken b/c wikipedia)

In one episode of the Andy Griffith Show, Andy makes an oblique reference to the House of David. Bobby Fleet and His Band with a Beat is standing in for the Mayberry Band so that the band can go to a town band competition in Raleigh. When Mayor Stoner notices the car with Bobby Fleet's band members leaving town after they'd done their subbing for the Mayberry band, Andy explains away the beards on the band as them being one of "those traveling religions".

[Walking Cat Bed]

I think they are coming back. I saw them advertised by a store I frequent.

The jersey-knit variety with a foldover waist are amazingly comfy. I'm wearing them tomorrow, because I have a shift at work (which is a no-shorts zone) and it will be too hot for jeans. They're basically sweatpants but not as sloppy-looking.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

My husband says a guy at work is sprinkling rock salt everywhere and pissing people off. Husband asked the janitor about it when he saw crystals in the men's urinal and the Janitor replied "Oh yea, that's D. He's casting out demons again." Later husband happened to see someone who works in D's area and asked about him, and got an earful Turns out D is sprinkling it everywhere including the shared desk. D is 6'6" tall and has a huge white afro. I say it is lucky for D that the stuff for casting out demons is so cheap-- imagine if he had to use gold dust.

[Geechee Girl]

I spotted fundies with big signs at the farmers' market. They carried huge signs on sticks: "REPENT (Turn from your Sin --to Jesus.)" "JESUS or SIN Whom Will You Serve? HEAVEN or HELL Where Will You Go?"

I couldn't make out the 3rd sign, but DEATH was the largest word. The fundies were mostly silent. Usually when I encounter sidewalk fundies, they're shouting at all passersby.

[thoughtful]

I reckon, but shouldn't a truly observant Jew be studying the Torah? Any Jewish scholars care to educate us on the righteousness of spying on a Redbox on the Sabbath?

I'm not a scholar, but I'll try:

- the day in question was Tisha B'av -- a day of mourning and reflection on past disasters in Jewish history -- not the Sabbath.

- on Tisha B'av (or, for that matter, the Sabbath), an observant Jew would generally pull away from anything worldly, staying at home and/or going to shul to pray, think, and be with community. One is a sad day, one is a joyous one, but setting aside work (including self-assigned work) is part of both.

- spying on other people, "ratting" them out to their rabbi like a petulant second grade tattle-tale, and just generally being a schmuck are not part of any actual Jewish practice.

It's that oddly ecumenical Fundy phenomenon -- once somebody gets that extreme and self-righteous, what the original religion was almost doesn't matter. Their new faith is Neener Neener I'm Better than You, with a side dish of "I'm TELLING!"

[HarryPotterFan]

I don't think the FLDS have missionaries, they are not as into sending their kids out into the world, and are not large enough to allow them to do so without actually interacting with outsiders.

I don't know that I buy the LDS doing more good works than conversions. Our neighbor asked if some of the local boy scouts could rake our leaves as they needed to do something in their community (or something, it wasn't clear) and we said okay. Turns out it was actually the missionaries. Once they were done they wanted to talk about the church with us and kept coming by. I live in Utah and actually feel a little sorry when they stop by and then ask if I know anyone who would be interested, the answer is just no, everyone knows about the church and would have joined if at all interested. Imagine spending your life waiting to go on your mission and convert people and do things only to be sent to Utah where there is literally no one you can try to spread the word to . . .

The leaf raking thing sounds annoying, but trying to go on a mission in Utah is funny. These guys didn't seem like they were trying too hard to preech to the heathen masses, they were too distracted by their smart phones :lol:

[solacetea]

This happened, oh, I'd say about 8 or so years ago to me and my youngest son, who is now 17. We were shopping at our local Wal-Mart and I let him go hang out in the little arcade area they have by the center entrance. I checked out and went to fetch him and saw a weird-looking woman hanging out there. Kid said "Mom, that lady asked me if I knew what the Gospels were and if I was saved." Now, at this point, we had just left the Orthodox Catholic church (after a long period of doubt, guilt, and general dismay), and this kid had just been forced through First Holy Communion and all that entailed (parental guilt was strong). I said "what did you tell her?" He said "I said I didn't know". Okay, fine.

We trundle out to the car and begin loading our purchases. All of a sudden, this woman appears, thrusting bible tracts and leaflets at us, smiling like a fiend, saying, "Your son wants to know about the gospel!" I said " He knows all about the gospel already! We're atheists! We are not interested!" She kind of sputtered and walked away. My kid was upset that I was rude to her, bless his soul. There were stickers on her car from the church she was from. I called them to complain, and I called the Wal-Mart because it was just weird that she was allowed to hang about in the kid arcade and proselytize. To kids!

Wow, it felt good to complain about that again.

[Crocoduck]

In one episode of the Andy Griffith Show, Andy makes an oblique reference to the House of David. Bobby Fleet and His Band with a Beat is standing in for the Mayberry Band so that the band can go to a town band competition in Raleigh. When Mayor Stoner notices the car with Bobby Fleet's band members leaving town after they'd done their subbing for the Mayberry band, Andy explains away the beards on the band as them being one of "those traveling religions".

Interesting! They had quite the entertainment empire at their peak. My mom went to their amusement park as a kid and they owned a large resort. All that was gone by the time I came along.

[Crocoduck]

I'm not a scholar, but I'll try:

- the day in question was Tisha B'av -- a day of mourning and reflection on past disasters in Jewish history -- not the Sabbath.

- on Tisha B'av (or, for that matter, the Sabbath), an observant Jew would generally pull away from anything worldly, staying at home and/or going to shul to pray, think, and be with community. One is a sad day, one is a joyous one, but setting aside work (including self-assigned work) is part of both.

- spying on other people, "ratting" them out to their rabbi like a petulant second grade tattle-tale, and just generally being a schmuck are not part of any actual Jewish practice.

It's that oddly ecumenical Fundy phenomenon -- once somebody gets that extreme and self-righteous, what the original religion was almost doesn't matter. Their new faith is Neener Neener I'm Better than You, with a side dish of "I'm TELLING!"

Thank you. I did a bit of reading about Tisha B'av. My learning for the day.

I agree with your assessment of Fundy tattle-tales!

[thoughtful]

Thank you. I did a bit of reading about Tisha B'av. My learning for the day.

You're welcome. You had the "shouldn't he just be praying and observing the day" idea just right.

[greycat]

This happened, oh, I'd say about 8 or so years ago to me and my youngest son, who is now 17. We were shopping at our local Wal-Mart and I let him go hang out in the little arcade area they have by the center entrance. I checked out and went to fetch him and saw a weird-looking woman hanging out there. Kid said "Mom, that lady asked me if I knew what the Gospels were and if I was saved." Now, at this point, we had just left the Orthodox Catholic church (after a long period of doubt, guilt, and general dismay), and this kid had just been forced through First Holy Communion and all that entailed (parental guilt was strong). I said "what did you tell her?" He said "I said I didn't know". Okay, fine.

We trundle out to the car and begin loading our purchases. All of a sudden, this woman appears, thrusting bible tracts and leaflets at us, smiling like a fiend, saying, "Your son wants to know about the gospel!" I said " He knows all about the gospel already! We're atheists! We are not interested!" She kind of sputtered and walked away. My kid was upset that I was rude to her, bless his soul. There were stickers on her car from the church she was from. I called them to complain, and I called the Wal-Mart because it was just weird that she was allowed to hang about in the kid arcade and proselytize. To kids!

Wow, it felt good to complain about that again.

I don't have kids yet, but I know that I would have reacted the same way. That's like stranger danger. Even though she didn't know what you all as a family just went to leaving a church, it had to have hit harder.

I find it odd that people feel like they can push their beliefs on people so "rightfully" in their eyes. Can you imagine if we would hand out pamphlets to people about becoming an atheist? Can you imagine the reactions they would give to us?

[skrimp]

So this happened several years ago before I turned 18, I know this because I announced to my very Catholic mother when I was 15 that I was an atheist - I still am, I'm 27 now. Very awkward and despite this I was forced to continue to go to church twice a week until I turned 18. I haven't been back to any church since my 18th birthday, except on Christmas because it makes mom happy. I even had to go through confirmation, which I treated as a joke. You'd think they would have caught on when I chose Joseph as my saint name. I am female. He is the patron saint of fathers and carpenters. I digress.

We were at our cabin for the weekend one summer and this did not exempt us from church attendance, of course. We went to a few different churches in the area (rural Minnesota, west of the cities). There was one we all liked alright but the mass took FOREVER and even my mom realized 2 hours was a bit much for a cabin Sunday. We tried out a different church this particular weekend.

The mass started a bit late because the priest was very ill. The deacon had to take over. The deacon is basically the second person from the top in the church and usually sits in a chair at the altar the whole time trying not to look bored/fall asleep. He's usually very old so this is difficult. He will maybe do a reading and takes part in the ceremonial entrance and communion. He dresses almost exactly like the priest and most people don't even know the difference. We had no issues. But this group of women with very long hair and head coverings, long skirts and long sleeves were at this church in the front row. They already stuck out because no Catholic church attendees have worn head coverings since Vatican II (the same big meeting when Latin was disposed of as the official mass language to get with the times). Also, it was pushing 95 degrees and no one in their right mind was wearing long sleeves. One of them, probably the mom of the family, raised her hand and asked if this mass would still fulfill the "obligation." She was referring to the requirement that all Catholics attend mass once a week.

If you all know anything about the average American Catholic, you'll understand how amusing this was. American Catholics are TERRIBLE Catholics. I don't know of anyone who actually makes a point to attend mass every single week, except the most elderly of old ladies. What was even funnier is, here we were, AT MASS, and this lady was concerned that God would smite us all because of this minor technicality, that mass was being conducted by the deacon instead of the priest. This was such a strange inquiry that even the deacon had to admit he wasn't sure.

The women got up and left right then and there! Presumably to attend a mass with a priest before sundown to avoid being turned into pillars of salt :lol:

That was my one and only run-in with fundie Catholics, ever. We didn't go back to that church ever again. The whole thing was just too weird.

I do know a few Amish and Hutterites, I find them adorable. Last summer an Amish couple were staying somewhere on the block where I live. This was very amusing to me because Uptown Minneapolis the *the* most gay-friendly neighborhood in the midwest. It also probably has the highest density of gay people in the midwest. A whole lot of my neighbors are out and proud, especially so last summer because gay marriage was legalized. Watching the Amish couple stroll around the block on their daily walk past the neighbors was fantastic. They were very nice and personable, not unkind to anyone. I assume they were probably in town because of the state fair, but who knows? While they were here the man handcrafted a beautiful wooden gazebo for the apartment complex across the street from me. It's gorgeous.

[church_of_dog]

I don't have kids yet, but I know that I would have reacted the same way. That's like stranger danger. Even though she didn't know what you all as a family just went to leaving a church, it had to have hit harder.

I find it odd that people feel like they can push their beliefs on people so "rightfully" in their eyes. Can you imagine if we would hand out pamphlets to people about becoming an atheist? Can you imagine the reactions they would give to us?

I posted this on another thread a few weeks ago but I just can't resist putting it here as well: