Lori Alexander: Let it be ANYTHING but porn...

[docmom]

Isn't it interesting that Ken would assume the "raunchy unbiblical things" in bed include BDSM? Projecting a little bit, eh Ken?

And that Ken's solution is for the husband to discipline his wife. 'Cos what's really missing in their marriage and the reason she's turned to porn, is husbandly discipline.

[Hisey]

I think Ken wishes he was married to Shane's wife.

[docmom]

I think Ken wishes he was married to Shane's wife.

I think Lori does too

[kpmom]

Ken wrote;

"Hi Shane,

From a human standpoint pain and pleasure are two of the greatest motivators. Try to get her to agree on penalties for breaking the accountability standards. Get her involved in making the penalties uninvited and unpleasurable enough so that it helps make her think twice if she really wants to sin. Be creative with her and find things she will consider to be difficult or unwanted. Help mitigate the seeming pleasure of porn with her thinking that this will add two more hours of housework, or she has to clean out the garage, no Starbucks for a week, two thirty minute back rubs she owes you. Be creative but get her to agree that she cannot have porn pleasure without some practical consequences. Just make her thinks twice, do I really want to do this.

If you are inconsistent in your accountability, or inconsistent in giving consequences, most likely the accountability will become worthless. She is now like a child who wants to get away with her sin with no consequences, so as soon as you slack off she will go running for the mud. So how long may you have to ask her every morning if she has sinned? Maybe every morning the rest of your lives to help protect her. You be her source of accountability and discipline whether she asks for your help or not. That is your role as the leader of your marriage. Even if you can force little on her, you can get her to feel that you will be consistent in your responsibility and eventually she has no place to hide.

"

That's so strange that neither Ken nor Lori mentioned anything about wives disciplining their husbands when she quoted the woman's story about her husband's porn addiction.

Why, oh why would that be? :think:

[Hane]

Ken wrote;

"Hi Shane,

From a human standpoint pain and pleasure are two of the greatest motivators. Try to get her to agree on penalties for breaking the accountability standards. Get her involved in making the penalties uninvited and unpleasurable enough so that it helps make her think twice if she really wants to sin. Be creative with her and find things she will consider to be difficult or unwanted. Help mitigate the seeming pleasure of porn with her thinking that this will add two more hours of housework, or she has to clean out the garage, no Starbucks for a week, two thirty minute back rubs she owes you. Be creative but get her to agree that she cannot have porn pleasure without some practical consequences. Just make her thinks twice, do I really want to do this.

If you are inconsistent in your accountability, or inconsistent in giving consequences, most likely the accountability will become worthless. She is now like a child who wants to get away with her sin with no consequences, so as soon as you slack off she will go running for the mud. So how long may you have to ask her every morning if she has sinned? Maybe every morning the rest of your lives to help protect her. You be her source of accountability and discipline whether she asks for your help or not. That is your role as the leader of your marriage. Even if you can force little on her, you can get her to feel that you will be consistent in your responsibility and eventually she has no place to hide.

"

Toss in the threat of spanking, and you get something straight out of Christian Domestic Discipline or a spanko soft porn site. Way to up the kink factor, Ken.

[salex]

Toss in the threat of spanking, and you get something straight out of Christian Domestic Discipline or a spanko soft porn site. Way to up the kink factor, Ken.

Ok, I get that Ken and Lorri are into the spanking in a very public way.

What I find always amazing is that he uses the wife giving the husband back rubs as punishment

Get her involved in making the penalties uninvited and unpleasurable . . . . two thirty minute back rubs she owes you

And, once upon a time, Ken compared giving Lorri backrubs to suffering for his wife.

Honestly, does he think that most couples find touching one another for an extended period of time to be distasteful--he clearly seems to think it is.

Hubs and I bought a massage table years ago, and alternate weeks on who gives vs who receives a 1 hour full body massage, based on what you'd get at a spa. We have learned that giving a massage in a room that is dimly lit, with quiet music and good oils can be almost like meditating. It is a good experience for us whether we give or receive. I am amazed anyone would view giving a back rub as punishment!

[dairyfreelife]

Ok, I get that Ken and Lorri are into the spanking in a very public way.

What I find always amazing is that he uses the wife giving the husband back rubs as punishment

And, once upon a time, Ken compared giving Lorri backrubs to suffering for his wife.

Honestly, does he think that most couples find touching one another for an extended period of time to be distasteful--he clearly seems to think it is.

Hubs and I bought a massage table years ago, and alternate weeks on who gives vs who receives a 1 hour full body massage, based on what you'd get at a spa. We have learned that giving a massage in a room that is dimly lit, with quiet music and good oils can be almost like meditating. It is a good experience for us whether we give or receive. I am amazed anyone would view giving a back rub as punishment!

Agree. So weird. My bf and I give each other back rubs all the time. Here I thought it was normal, but maybe he was trying to punish me? After all, I've been a very naughty girl.

We need a spanking smilie. :lol:

[Curious]

We need a spanking smilie. :lol:

:spank:

[julie paradox]

The terrible thing is that a lot of that reply to Shane... kind of made... sense (hides)

I liked the fact that Ken found it necessary to assure us that having a wife with a higher sex drive is nothing he has ANY experience of!

[RosyDaisy]

Ummm....back rubs can be the opposite of punishment and be...umm...quite pleasurable.

[Hane]

The first--and only--time I ever had a therapeutic massage was at a spa. The masseur was a guy about my (advanced) age. I had to stop myself from asking him for a "happy ending." It wasn't him, personally--it was his technique.

That's why I have never availed myself of the services of my son- in- law, who is a licensed massaged therapist.

[DGayle]

Likes raunchy unbiblical things in bed

should be a post count title!

I just did an image search for "raunchy unbiblical things." First pic:

[Micah]

I've never understood why porn is so 'bad'. Of course if it takes over your life and prevents you from functioning day to day it's a problem. But its not just porn that can do that.

My partner's sex drive is much, much higher than mine. Like he'd be happy with several times a day and I'm happy with a couple of times a week, higher. He has a quite extensive porn collection. If it means he leaves me alone occasionally, I have absolutely no issue with it whatsoever. I don't watch it because I'm not really a visual person. I prefer to read erotica. If he has no problem with me reading it, I don't see how I should have a problem with his watching it.

[dairyfreelife]

:spank:

damn, how'd I miss that one :lol:

[FJismyheadship]

Does anyone else think that Ken starting his diatribe with "I don't know much on the subject" is his way of looking humble, and then the big wall of text his way of saying "I actually know quite a bit about the subject, let me grace you with my awesomeness!"

[SpeakNow]

Tell her these things out loud with a smile and ears in your eyes.

Why would the husband's ears be in his eyes?

Nice typo Kenny boy!

[Curious]

Why would the husband's ears be in his eyes?

Nice typo Kenny boy!

Maybe this explains why they can't see the planks in their own eyes...their ears are in the way :shifty-kitty:

[FJismyheadship]

Curious, did you make Raunchy Unbiblical Things or some variation a post count?

I'm taking porn by the horn... was that a Ken and Lori thing too? I cant be bothered to use search.

[Curious]

Curious, did you make Raunchy Unbiblical Things or some variation a post count?

I'm taking porn by the horn... was that a Ken and Lori thing too? I cant be bothered to use search.

I have not made (Doing) Raunchy Unbiblical Things a title. Taking Porn by the Horn is a Ken and Lori one, yes.

[stabbycat]

To be honest, I skimmed through Ken's wall of text, but what I caught was that the man should be her Christ and that she might be into BDSM. Yup, someone's got a domination fetish.