Sarah M has the hots for the mailman...

[usmcmom]

Once you get rural enough, at least out west, there is no more home delivery -- except if you're on one of those rural routes -- basically if you live along the route between one town's post office and the next, you can get home delivery -- but the rest of us in tiny outpost towns have to go to the post office for both sending and receiving mail. I kinda like it, it feels very old-fashioned, pretty much everyone in town comes to the post office every day or every few days. The door of the post office is where most of the important notices get posted, like who died, or if the water system or electric grid is going to have a planned outage, or whatever.

I grew up in a town like this and I loved it. It was quite the milestone to be given the combination to our mailbox so I could get the mail after school. Sometimes my grandmother would send me to get hers. I'd walk up to the counter and say "I need my grandma's mail, please," and they'd hand it over. I loved small town living.

[church_of_dog]

I grew up in a town like this and I loved it. It was quite the milestone to be given the combination to our mailbox so I could get the mail after school. Sometimes my grandmother would send me to get hers. I'd walk up to the counter and say "I need my grandma's mail, please," and they'd hand it over. I loved small town living.

Yep, just like that, still. Tourists come through here and say "I didn't realize there were still places like this".

Sometimes some piece of mail will come addressed to my street address -- usually a big company like a bank or insurance company, who has my physical address but supposedly knows not to use it for mail, but then does anyway. The postmistress always knows which box to put it in even though it doesn't have my PO Box number on it.

In fact, last year our postmistress retired after 53 years on the job, all in the same location, this little town of 500 people! She sure knew more about the goings-on here than anyone else… The new postmistress is great but she sure has some catching up to do, lol.

[usmcmom]

One of my favorite family stories is the time my uncle called home from "the big city" to speak to his mother. All calls still had to go through the small town operator. So he asks for his mother and the operator says "Okay, I'll ring her; but I know she's not home. I just saw her walk into the post office." Very Andy Griffith like.

[FloraKitty35]

The makers of "Sarah Takes A Selfie" are proud to present our new production. Picture the story of a repressed thirty something spinster in America's Heartland, she lived a repressed life until one day she discovers a man who could unlock all of the erotic defrauding desires welling within, Maxhell Productions in association with the United States Postal Service present: "Sarah Goes Postal or How I Learned to Love the Male".

I am imagining this as the Kansas fundie version of "The Piano".

[salex]

The makers of "Sarah Takes A Selfie" are proud to present our new production. Picture the story of a repressed thirty something spinster in America's Heartland, she lived a repressed life until one day she discovers a man who could unlock all of the erotic defrauding desires welling within, Maxhell Productions in association with the United States Postal Service present: "Sarah Goes Postal or How I Learned to Love the Male".

I am imagining this as the Kansas fundie version of "The Piano".

Oddly enough, I tend to think more of a Kansas version of "The New England Nun" when I think of Sarah.

http://archive.org/stream/newenglandnun ... h_djvu.txt

[Mary C Doates]

I saw the post. It's written by "The Maxwell Family" and not "Sarah" (IDK if that's a change from before, but at least it's not ghostwritten if it was altered after the fact)

So, wait...maybe the post and photo were made by Teri, having some defrauding thoughts about the local USPS guy? Is she surreptitiously having boxes of animal crackers delivered to Chez Maxwell? Is this a chapter in the next Moody book, 50 Shades of Beige?

[church_of_dog]

50 Shades of Beige

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[dianapavelovna]

In fact, last year our postmistress retired after 53 years on the job, all in the same location, this little town of 500 people! She sure knew more about the goings-on here than anyone else…

That's awesome! I'd love to sit down with her for a few cups of coffee and hear some stories.

Mailman's a good looking guy. I want to send a letter to the Maxwells with a note on the outside that says - Hunky Mailman! Please take Sarah to dinner!

[NellieBell]

Just want to chime in to say I'd totally do that mailman. Then again, I'd do John. I'm a harlot cougar or should that read harloted cougar? Bailey's and posting comments don't mix well for me but Bailey's & Mr. Mailman certainly would. But I would sacrifice my lust if Sarah wanted to jump into the van and ride off to her happily ever after. :mrgreen

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Yes. All mailboxes here have a little red flag attached. If you have any mail that needs to be picked up when the mailman comes by, you leave it in the mailbox with the flag up. And actually, if I'm not mistaken, all mailboxes manufactured and sold have to have the seal of approval from the postmaster general, so they all have the flag.

I have a city mailbox that attaches to the front of the house (which is maybe a few feet from the sidewalk) and it doesn't have a flag on it.

HOWEVER, if we have outgoing mail we just leave it poking out of the lid a bit, and yes, it gets picked up no problem. People with door slots similarly, if you leave some mail sticking out of the slot it will get picked up.

[Toothfairy]

Wonder what mail he has for Sarah?

More moody fan mail?

[Janes Heir]

I don't follow these folks, but this sounds very amusing. Would somebody please provide a link?

[YPestis]

I did think the mailman post was....odd for a Maxwell posting but I love the FJ intepretation! Yeah, I'm sure the mailman is one of the few times Sarah gets to interact with a man close to her age. How sad. I wonder if she's ever had a crush on a guy? Or understand what physical attraction is (ok, she probably thinks it's lustful ideas put into her head by Satan...). I suppose it's possible that Sarah is so sheltered that she's never felt sexual attraction. How utterly depressing.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Our mail carrier is the best mailman ever. If you want to see Mr. Positive defined in the dictionary, he would be it. He always has a jolly word to say

Who the hell writes like that? It sounds a) British and b) old fashioned. We know that Sarah does not get to read anything but the Bible but I swear it has a Enid Blyton feel to it. Are the Moody's "jolly"? I ask because I have never read one of her books.

He is not to my taste but I suppose if you live like a cloistered nun anything can start looking yummy.

[salex]

Who the hell writes like that? It sounds a) British and b) old fashioned. We know that Sarah does not get to read anything but the Bible but I swear it has a Enid Blyton feel to it. Are the Moody's "jolly"? I ask because I have never read one of her books.

He is not to my taste but I suppose if you live like a cloistered nun anything can start looking yummy.

If the really don't read, maybe Jolly is a thesaurus word--ie, she was looking for a different word than happy.

[ThisOlGirl]

I wonder what the mailman thinks of the Maxwells? Surely he's noticed by now that there's a houseful of adults that don't appear to have jobs and don't really go anywhere. The Maxwell crazy can not be hidden!

[Palimpsest]

I don't follow these folks, but this sounds very amusing. Would somebody please provide a link?

The Steven Maxwell Family: //blog.titus2.com

Warning: Scary Rabbit Hole Ahead. :bunny-evil:

[Trynn]

I did think the mailman post was....odd for a Maxwell posting but I love the FJ intepretation! Yeah, I'm sure the mailman is one of the few times Sarah gets to interact with a man close to her age. How sad. I wonder if she's ever had a crush on a guy? Or understand what physical attraction is (ok, she probably thinks it's lustful ideas put into her head by Satan...). I suppose it's possible that Sarah is so sheltered that she's never felt sexual attraction. How utterly depressing.

That's not depressing in and of itself. I've never felt sexual attraction either, and I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. Sarah does not need to feel sexual attraction in order to be happy.

(Though I will agree that she is probably more a repressed sexual than an asexual, we don't have enough data to really know that. It's depressing she can't find out, but still.)

[ThatSnark]

Who the hell writes like that? It sounds a) British and b) old fashioned. We know that Sarah does not get to read anything but the Bible but I swear it has a Enid Blyton feel to it. Are the Moody's "jolly"? I ask because I have never read one of her books.

But does anyone have an idea of what the jolly word might be? Knowing the Maxwells, I'm going to go with:

"Good morning!"

"Good afternoon!"

"How ya doing?"

"Have a good one!"

50 Shades of Beige, indeed.

[uber frau]

But does anyone have an idea of what the jolly word might be? Knowing the Maxwells, I'm going to go with:

"Good morning!"

"Good afternoon!"

"How ya doing?"

"Have a good one!"

50 Shades of Beige, indeed.

I think anything other than, "Do you know where you're going when you die?", qualifies as jolly in that house.

[Cleopatra7]

That's not depressing in and of itself. I've never felt sexual attraction either, and I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. Sarah does not need to feel sexual attraction in order to be happy.

(Though I will agree that she is probably more a repressed sexual than an asexual, we don't have enough data to really know that. It's depressing she can't find out, but still.)

Sarah M is so cloistered, she may not know what she is or isn't. Religious fundamentalists tend not to believe in the concept of sexual orientation. Rather, there are just sexual acts that are forbidden and those that are allowed. This is why fundies don't use LGBT terminology, but stick with the blanket term "homosexual agenda." They also deny asexuality, because it goes against the idea that humans are supposed to "naturally" pair up and have kids, and that hetreosexuality is the default state of being. Personally, I think that lack of sex is the least of Sarah M's problems, the symptom of a larger problem of forced isolation and emotionally immaturity. She has so little contact with others that even a visit from the mailman becomes an exciting event.

[Trynn]

Sarah M is so cloistered, she may not know what she is or isn't. Religious fundamentalists tend not to believe in the concept of sexual orientation. Rather, there are just sexual acts that are forbidden and those that are allowed. This is why fundies don't use LGBT terminology, but stick with the blanket term "homosexual agenda." They also deny asexuality, because it goes against the idea that humans are supposed to "naturally" pair up and have kids, and that hetreosexuality is the default state of being. Personally, I think that lack of sex is the least of Sarah M's problems, the symptom of a larger problem of forced isolation and emotionally immaturity. She has so little contact with others that even a visit from the mailman becomes an exciting event.

Oh believe me, I know. I just lost my fundy lite church family over this.

And my best friend of ten years. And her family as well.

Agree that her orientation, unless she's secretly gay and knows it, is the least of her issues.

[Indigo]

Who the hell writes like that? It sounds a) British and b) old fashioned. We know that Sarah does not get to read anything but the Bible but I swear it has a Enid Blyton feel to it. Are the Moody's "jolly"? I ask because I have never read one of her books.

He is not to my taste but I suppose if you live like a cloistered nun anything can start looking yummy.

David Waller. Remember the jolly officer that arrived at the scene of the pecan gleaning?

[YPestis]

That's not depressing in and of itself. I've never felt sexual attraction either, and I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. Sarah does not need to feel sexual attraction in order to be happy.

(Though I will agree that she is probably more a repressed sexual than an asexual, we don't have enough data to really know that. It's depressing she can't find out, but still.)

I'm coming from the assumption that Sarah is a heterosexual women who has the usual sexual urges that women. You are correct that she asexual, or, for that matter, gay. However, more likely, she's straight and has the ability to form sexual urges and she's having to repress that side of her due to her isolation. The tragedy of the Maxwells is that none of the children will get to explore their potential. 　

[Georgiana]

I'd love to see "Mr. Positive" defined in the dictionary, but unfortunately a dictionary is for words, not people.