Priscilla & David Waller - Pecan Thieves Pregnant Again!

[Indigo]

Notice the word David used to describe the news - exciting. It wasn't good, great, happy, wonderful, joyous, etc... just exciting news and special news. He's talking in his normal manner until he says what was on the card. Then his tone changes and thru clenched teeth he forces out they're expecting a new baby. The transformation is amazing. Poor Pris, she clearly wants nothing more than to make David happy. Here she is going to this lunch date excited and thrilled with her big news, thinking David will be equally as thrilled and happy. Wrong. She obviously blames herself for any unhappiness or strain in their marriage, thinking if she was a better Godly Christian wife and mom, things would be fine. Wrong again.

She's encouraging Paul to run to his daddy when David gets home. She thinks if she and Paul give him more attention, David will be happier. If she has another child (her wifely duty), David will be happier. If she didn't compare herself to other mothers, David would be happier. If she wasn't envious of what other couples have, David would be happier. She doesn't realize that everything she thinks will help does exactly the opposite. I feel so sad for her. She's trying so hard. David doesn't want to be a married man with a toddler and another on the way. He was prodded into marriage by his parents. I'm sure he felt he really didn't have a choice. Gay or not, he can't be who he is or wants to be, doing the things he wants to do. That's a shame for all of them.

[Georgiana]

Notice the word David used to describe the news - exciting. It wasn't good, great, happy, wonderful, joyous, etc... just exciting news and special news. He's talking in his normal manner until he says what was on the card. Then his tone changes and thru clenched teeth he forces out they're expecting a new baby. The transformation is amazing. Poor Pris, she clearly wants nothing more than to make David happy. Here she is going to this lunch date excited and thrilled with her big news, thinking David will be equally as thrilled and happy. Wrong. She obviously blames herself for any unhappiness or strain in their marriage, thinking if she was a better Godly Christian wife and mom, things would be fine. Wrong again.

She's encouraging Paul to run to his daddy when David gets home. She thinks if she and Paul give him more attention, David will be happier. If she has another child (her wifely duty), David will be happier. If she didn't compare herself to other mothers, David would be happier. If she wasn't envious of what other couples have, David would be happier. She doesn't realize that everything she thinks will help does exactly the opposite. I feel so sad for her. She's trying so hard. David doesn't want to be a married man with a toddler and another on the way. He was prodded into marriage by his parents. I'm sure he felt he really didn't have a choice. Gay or not, he can't be who he is or wants to be, doing the things he wants to do. That's a shame for all of them.

I agree. I think that what Pris is really feeling is her unhappy marriage. So she looks at these women with happy marriages and thinks that if she were more like them, her marriage would be happy too. So she compares herself to them trying to find what she's doing wrong. Then she thinks her sadness is because of this envy, this comparison, when in fact, her sadness is the cause of the envy and comparison. And eliminating the comparison wont solve it. It'll just be something else.

Until she tackles the problem at the root, it will always be there.

[Odd1Out]

Just watched the new baby announcement- David does not have me convinced at all that he's happy. He definitely clenched his jaw to say he was 'excited'.

[nokidsmom]

I agree. I think that what Pris is really feeling is her unhappy marriage. So she looks at these women with happy marriages and thinks that if she were more like them, her marriage would be happy too. So she compares herself to them trying to find what she's doing wrong. Then she thinks her sadness is because of this envy, this comparison, when in fact, her sadness is the cause of the envy and comparison. And eliminating the comparison wont solve it. It'll just be something else.

Until she tackles the problem at the root, it will always be there.

Agree, and Pris has no way to really get to the heart of things. Even without any developmental issues, and I am not saying she has them, just her fundie upbringing prevents her from realizing what's really going on. She's going to think it's solving the problem to be a more godly wife, do more for David, have Paul pay more attention, beat herself up (this galls me big time), pray more, etc. But that's not going to solve the problem because none of those things are the problem. And thinking that her husband might not want to be there after all, is in her world, unthinkable.

[salex]

Agree, and Pris has no way to really get to the heart of things. Even without any developmental issues, and I am not saying she has them, just her fundie upbringing prevents her from realizing what's really going on. She's going to think it's solving the problem to be a more godly wife, do more for David, have Paul pay more attention, beat herself up (this galls me big time), pray more, etc. But that's not going to solve the problem because none of those things are the problem. And thinking that her husband might not want to be there after all, is in her world, unthinkable.

ANyone who knows more about their marriage rules than I do... is there any chance, in the world, that there could come a day where David said "Priss, let's talk." and they could talk about what they both want and need out of life? I'm not saying a divorce talk, I'm saying a "this is our marriage and our life-- we need to figure out what will make us happy!" DOn't one or both of them have siblings who are a little less fundie, so it wouldn't completely kill off their family? Or, is this conversation so outside of what either can do that it will never happen?

I wonder if it was more that his parents worried he'd lose the right and true faith if he didn't get married, instead of what we have speculated here? I have known quite a few people whose faith was lost or seriously changed when they studied for or got involved with a ministry. And, they either leave, or embrace the "well, the masses don't have to know" and go from there. Maybe something like that was David's issue and it wears on him now. (again, total specuations)

[LogansMama]

The more I watch David and Priscilla's videos, the less convinced I am he's gay. To me he sees like a hyperactive, uneducated fundie metrosexual.

The dude definitely has a "same sex attraction". I think his and Pris's wedding episode was evidence enough. And the fact that he nearly sucked her face off when kissing (good god that was uncomfortable to watch) seemed to me to be overcompensation.

[jerkit]

ANyone who knows more about their marriage rules than I do... is there any chance, in the world, that there could come a day where David said "Priss, let's talk." and they could talk about what they both want and need out of life? I'm not saying a divorce talk, I'm saying a "this is our marriage and our life-- we need to figure out what will make us happy!" DOn't one or both of them have siblings who are a little less fundie, so it wouldn't completely kill off their family? Or, is this conversation so outside of what either can do that it will never happen?

Wow, that just hit me personally and I'm not sure why. I'm incredibly sad for people who can't have honest conversations with their spouse about what they want out of life. I mean, I guess I knew this is what happened to fundies, but I just internalized it for some reason.

Shut up, smile, and pretend everything's okay.

[jerkit]

The dude definitely has a "same sex attraction". I think his and Pris's wedding episode was evidence enough. And the fact that he nearly sucked her face off when kissing (good god that was uncomfortable to watch) seemed to me to be overcompensation.

I had blocked out that kiss until this moment.

What was that word for secondhand embarrassment? Because that's what I'm experiencing all over again.

[LogansMama]

I had blocked out that kiss until this moment.

What was that word for secondhand embarrassment? Because that's what I'm experiencing all over again.

Sorry to bring that up. I feel a bit nauseous myself. :ew:

[skankbiscuit]

Regardless of his sexual orientation one thing is abundantly clear in these videos: Pris is desperately in love with David, and he is not in love with her. It's painful to see, really. I'm sure he feels she is his responsibility and as the mother of his children he may CARE about her, but it's not love. Nope.

[veron1que]

I do feel he overcompensates, he often rejects Pris's advances (in their vday vid, Pricilla clearly wanted a kiss and he blew her off). This doesn't mean he's gay, though. He could be asexual, or just not attracted to her. I think it's a valid observation to say they lack sexual chemistry but I don't know about all this orientation stuff.

I mean, we FJers rally behind women who are told they are not feminine enough, but we then go on about how David's too feminine to be a straight male. Its not the speculation that bothers me, more that the evidence to support it is that he poses funny for the camera and has a high pitched voice....

Poor Priscilla. I really hope these two stop having kids (and by that I mean, having sex), I don't think Priscilla will handle a brood of children well, she seems to be already struggling with Paul.

[Georgiana]

I do feel he overcompensates, he often rejects Pris's advances (in their vday vid, Pricilla clearly wanted a kiss and he blew her off). This doesn't mean he's gay, though. He could be asexual, or just not attracted to her. I think it's a valid observation to say they lack sexual chemistry but I don't know about all this orientation stuff.

I mean, we FJers rally behind women who are told they are not feminine enough, but we then go on about how David's too feminine to be a straight male. Its not the speculation that bothers me, more that the evidence to support it is that he poses funny for the camera and has a high pitched voice....

Poor Priscilla. I really hope these two stop having kids (and by that I mean, having sex), I don't think Priscilla will handle a brood of children well, she seems to be already struggling with Paul.

I agree. I'm sexually attracted to males, but not ALL males. There are certain guys that I am in no way attracted to, simply because I'm not. I love them, I think they are great people, they are some of my best friends, and I do not ever want to sleep with them.

Pecan was never able to even mentally explore his sexuality pre-marriage. He was never able to even sit down and really meditate on what attracts him and what doesn't, because even THINKING about sex is a sin. It's entirely possible that he didn't really know what he wanted sexually, and he just picked Pris, who he probably liked pretty well as a person, and thought the sexual attraction would come.

But it doesn't always work that way.

Several years in, he's had time to explore his sexuality more since he is now a married man, and I think he's starting to realize that she isn't what he wants.

[salex]

I agree. I'm sexually attracted to males, but not ALL males. There are certain guys that I am in no way attracted to, simply because I'm not. I love them, I think they are great people, they are some of my best friends, and I do not ever want to sleep with them.

Pecan was never able to even mentally explore his sexuality pre-marriage. He was never able to even sit down and really meditate on what attracts him and what doesn't, because even THINKING about sex is a sin. It's entirely possible that he didn't really know what he wanted sexually, and he just picked Pris, who he probably liked pretty well as a person, and thought the sexual attraction would come.

But it doesn't always work that way.

Several years in, he's had time to explore his sexuality more since he is now a married man, and I think he's starting to realize that she isn't what he wants.

Her crying at night in her bed tells me she knows there is a major problem and is miserable. Does he sleep through it? Does he pretend to sleep through it? Is he "up working" until long after she's gone to sleep? I thought her saying that in the video was a cry for help, either from David or from her mother.

[Tangy Bee]

Ok...well...I just saw the pregnancy announcement video. Why does dude look so serious? His words just don't match his facial expressions. I wonder does David look at himself after these videos. If so, then he will see how obvious it is that he is NOT thrilled about this pregnancy. Why should he be shocked?? If they are having sex with no BC...then the possibilities will lead to pregnancy! Maybe he's been "pulling out". Well let me you that does NOT always work. I'm speaking from experience.

[Odd1Out]

Her crying at night in her bed tells me she knows there is a major problem and is miserable. Does he sleep through it? Does he pretend to sleep through it? Is he "up working" until long after she's gone to sleep? I thought her saying that in the video was a cry for help, either from David or from her mother.

I'm not sure she meant actually crying, as in tears. I thought she was saying crying out to God, as in praying.

[Hane]

Here's the most annoying baby announcement ever for anyone who doesn't want to give The Faboulous One (who's had sex TWICE now) the clicks.

My. God. That WAS painful to watch.

My translations--

David: Oh, crap. She's pregnant again. I know I'm SUPPOSED to be happy about this, because a Good Christian Man [tm][/tm] is SUPPOSED to be thrilled to be married and have a nice-looking wife and kids and life in suburbia, but I never wanted this. EVER. God knows I TRIED to put off marriage for as long as I could, but my parents cornered me into it, because staying Single and Fabulous doesn't look good in our culture. Help.

Priscilla: Oh, God, help me. I'm doing everything right--I exercise and smile a lot and read the Bible and can't let two second go by without referring to God and his blessings--but my husband obviously finds me annoying and can barely stand to kiss me, let alone do the deed. I hope to God all this valium I'm on doesn't affect the baby. I know I blather on whenever he sticks me in front of a camera, but I'm terrified of saying what I really feel.

[Odd1Out]

I do feel he overcompensates, he often rejects Pris's advances (in their vday vid, Pricilla clearly wanted a kiss and he blew her off). This doesn't mean he's gay, though. He could be asexual, or just not attracted to her. I think it's a valid observation to say they lack sexual chemistry but I don't know about all this orientation stuff.

I mean, we FJers rally behind women who are told they are not feminine enough, but we then go on about how David's too feminine to be a straight male. Its not the speculation that bothers me, more that the evidence to support it is that he poses funny for the camera and has a high pitched voice....

Poor Priscilla. I really hope these two stop having kids (and by that I mean, having sex), I don't think Priscilla will handle a brood of children well, she seems to be already struggling with Paul.

I think a lot of it is the way he longingly and lovingly looks at his friend, Robert, in videos. I think we expect him to look at Priscilla that way.

[Hane]

Oh, and am I the only one who looked at the furled red Chik-Fil-A picnic table umbrellas in the background of the video and thought "CIRCUMCIZED!!!" ?

[Odd1Out]

I wish they would just do a typical birth announcement video. Tell us how excited they are because they genuinely love the child they already have and look forward to experiencing raising more. But no. It has to be a holier than thou, bible quote filled announcement about how they are supposed to have kids because they are an inheritance and blessing.

[Cleopatra7]

Wow, that just hit me personally and I'm not sure why. I'm incredibly sad for people who can't have honest conversations with their spouse about what they want out of life. I mean, I guess I knew this is what happened to fundies, but I just internalized it for some reason.

Shut up, smile, and pretend everything's okay.

I think this quote from the blog says it all:

A critical decision when getting married is not just who you will marry, but do you agree on the issues of children and family life. The most important aspect of course is not what his or her opinion is, but do you both agree to embrace God’s opinion and love for children. Since the beginning of our marriage we felt led to trust the Lord with the size of our family and welcome every blessing that He would give to us.

In other words, it doesn't matter how David or Priscilla feel about anything, as the only things that matter are Gothard/God's will and having as many kids as possible.

ETA I just noticed that the birth announcement post is completely free of any real content other than usual fundie boilerplate about "blessings" and trusting in the Lord. There's no real emotion. Not a good sign. :shifty-kitty:

[16strong]

Honestly, I feel like David treats Priscilla like she is a small child, and he is her babysitter. He acts like he would rather be anywhere than "having to deal with her." It's blatantly clear he views her as an annoyance and a hassle, rather than as an adult that is his equal. So sad. Pris deserves WAY MORE than he is giving her.

[albanuadh_1]

Well, I guess we know what they were doing on Valentine's Day! :o

[16strong]

Well, I guess we know what they were doing on Valentine's Day! :o

I wonder if sex is his yearly v-day gift to her? :?

[Jana814]

Well, I guess we know what they were doing on Valentine's Day! :o

Haha!

[lascuba]

Man, I won't go as far as saying I feel sorry for David, because he's an ass, but I'm trying to imagine myself in his shoes--marrying someone who fits the bill for what I want in a spouse but who I don't know well, only to discover too late that we're incompatible and I'm married to a very slow person. I wouldn't handle that well. If divorce were not an option, I'd be miserable, and while I wouldn't be deliberately mean I can't imagine I'd be loving and affectionate no matter how much my spouse would like it. That kind of constant pretending would wear me down.

It's a lousy situation for everyone.