The 'Stay at home daughter' series

[Buzzard]

This kind blogger was nice enough to round up a bunch of girls who have "chosen" to stay at home under their father's headship and interview them for us! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Oddly enough, they all seem to be obsessed with Dr. Who...

everystory-storygirl.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-stay-at-home-daughter-interviews.html

Ashley get to wear jeans so she doesnt top the charts, but she does have to stay at home and watch her siblings. Heres my favorite part of her interview:

6. What is one weakness/character flaw you’re trying to overcome? (Be honest! :)

(Only one?! Gracious, I could write down so many flaws I’m trying to overcome, it wouldn’t even be funny! Howevs, I’ll try. Let’s see.....)

I’m not a very good sister to my siblings and daughter to my parents sometimes. By this, I mean that I don’t invest enough time in them, and it makes me disappointed in myself. (Which is another flaw, probably – I’m too disappointed in myself at times.) I’m working on opening up my life to them and getting more involved with them. I’d really like to do a million things with my siblings – like take them to see a movie, or go book shopping for hours, or to the park – but I find myself not having enough time to do those things. Scratch that – I find myself not making enough time to do those things. I spend way too much time on the computer and just being a selfish little introvert. I need to make more time to do things with my siblings and parents and I’m praying that God will make me a better sister and daughter all the time.

YOU EVIL BITCH SPENDING TIME ON YOURSELF AND NOT RAISING YOUR SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!! Damn you to hell! :penguin-no:

everystory-storygirl.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-stay-at-home-daughter-interviews.html

Alexandra (or the putrid pink "bealivingsacrifice.blogspot.com" blosg - now defunct) lives in her parent's basement. Missionary Daddy is starting his own church and they have a "free" house. She watches movies and likes to read... and has her future kids' names all picked out (if only god would send her a headship).

8. What’s the best part about being a stay-at-home daughter?

No bills. :P Hehe, that’s only half true. I do get my own groceries and help with car stuff and whatnot. :) The best part is seeing my siblings grow up, from babies to adults, and see them develop their own personalities and become their own person.

Staying at home is awesome because I get to watch my siblings grow up. Its way better than expanding your horizons and making yourself into the person you can be.

12. Have you encountered any criticism with being a stay-at-home daughter? If so, how do you handle it?

I had a lot of criticism during my senior year of high school through about two years after I graduated, mainly because at the time I wasn’t planning on college. The biggest thing I’ve learned through that is to respond graciously. Most people who criticize are doing so because they care about you, and it’s hard to understand why you wouldn’t do something that most people do. It can be very irritating, but a gracious response does a lot. While I’m not against a college education (I would encourage anyone to consider getting some kind of degree, whether traditionally or online), it’s not for everyone, and don’t be ashamed if it’s the way you’ve chosen.

I’m definitely an older stay-at-home-daughter…it’s been seven years since I graduated and made the decision to stay home, so for those of you who are at the beginning of the journey, I’d like to share some things that I’ve learned through this. I think that the #1 thing that a stay-at-home daughter needs to remember is that everyone’s lives are different. God has a different plan for each and every person, and He has created us all with different purposes that are going to play out in different ways. Just because another girl isn’t living exactly the way you are doesn’t necessarily mean that she is wrong. Having the opportunity to be a stay at home daughter is a wonderful experience. But sometimes that’s not the plan God has for someone, and they have to follow the plan that He has given them. During the beginning of my journey as a stay at home daughter, I was convinced that my way was the only way to live, and I came across as very judgmental and alienated many people. I said many things that I’ve since come to regret, and if there was one thing I could stress really, really hard to new stay-at-home daughters, it’s to be gracious and nonjudgmental about your choice. The Lord has a way of humbling us when we think we have all the answers, and He certainly did for me. The choice to stay at home is an absolutely great one, but never be snobby about it…it’s a wonderful opportunity that the Lord has given, not a status symbol.

Also, be open to change as your life goes on. Don’t set a hard-and-fast plan for your life, and never say never. I’ll be completely honest, as a senior in high school I was sure that my life was going to be a year or two at home helping my family and learning the ropes of running a home before marrying the first guy I would have a relationship with at nineteen or twenty. I’m now twenty-four and still happily single with no prospect in sight, and since then I have learned how to run a home like the back of my hand…but I’ve also traveled places, taken college classes, gotten several jobs, been in and out of a relationship, auditioned for shows, and done tons of things that I honestly never saw myself doing. It’s a completely different life than I pictured, and it took me a while to let go of that idea I had in my head and accept that God had a different plan. But now that I have, it’s been really exciting to see what God has planned!

SEVEN YEARS???? Seriously?!? She's like Famy! ZOMG gird up your loins, girl and get on with your life! Life is not all about seeking a penis!

everystory-storygirl.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-stay-at-home-daughter-interviews.html

Rachel

7. What are some names you’d love to name your future kids?

Well, truly I have never even giving that a thought.

Because, I believe when the time comes and I'm in need of a name it will be shown to me by the Holy Spirit inside of me. I know this sounds weird but, that's how all us children got our names. When our mom was pregnant with each of us she would pray and ask the Father what his specific name was for each of us. I wholly believe in this: doesn't He say in His WORD He knows us before we are formed in the womb? There is something so special knowing that your name is exactly what its supposed to be and nothing less.

So thats my plan.

:think: :think: :think:

everystory-storygirl.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-stay-at-home-daughter-interviews.html

Petie

Holy motherload of snark. Petie lives in Oklahoma, yet speaks with a british accent and has a sooper speshyl obsession with europe. She even spells shit in "the proper european fashion" rather than us dum 'merikans.

so. i’m that crazy oklahoman girl who is nineteen-years-old and who wants to serve her Lord Jesus all her life. who is proud to be country and who’s always scribbling up stories and is working on publication. who is afflicted with a severe case of wanderlust, fantasizes about europe, and talks with a british accent when excited or nervous. who types in lowercase more often than she should, drinks coffee like there is no tomorrow, and considers laughter a character trait. who saves all her spare moments for reading good books, drags stacks of them wherever she goes, and especially loves the classics. who loves sherlock holmes, watches too much british television, and is pretty much obsessed with all things les miserables. who can’t survive without music and enjoys all kinds of it, everything from hillsong united to mumford & sons. who sings everywhere she goes, writes only in black ink, delights in tickling those ivories, and can’t sleep with the bedroom door open. who is an abolitionist and considers william wilberforce her hero. who is aspiring to live deeply, love richly, and give all the glory to God.

dirtanddickens.wordpress.com/about

But back to the interview...

Petie and her family live on the second floor of their church. Her momma is the stay at home wimmin type and homeschools them.

2. Why did you decide to become a stay-at-home daughter?

Instead of attending college or pursuing a professional career, I decided to work at home and pursue my higher education online. I’ve always had several issues with the idea of me going off to college, and since I’m planning on being a writer, wife, and mom, I didn’t figure I needed to go to college anyway. So I enrolled in an online writing program, which is accomplished all on my computer. Staying at home provides me with more opportunities to work and serve my family. For the past six months or so, I have been working four (paying) jobs all from home. Whew! But it’s been worth it. Totally. I am learning so much! Since graduating high school, I have built websites, worked for an attorney, acted as secretary for two different people, had numerous babysitting jobs, helped my grandpa record his first music album, and a handful of other accomplishments.

I’ve never thought a college education or getting a job right out of high school was essential for a “successful†life. I felt as though I could serve God and my family the best from my home, right where the Lord placed me from the beginning. When He decides it’s the right time, I’ll move on and start a family of my own. But until then, I’ll keep on working and writing and drinking coffee.

That writing program is clearly da bomb. Really glad she's staying where the lord placed her till jebus sends her a penis to follow. Keep sucking down the caffeine to tamp down your sex drive!

9. Is there a particular Bible verse/story that’s especially close to your heart?

Recently, I did a fast, intense read-through of the Bible. I discovered so many wonderful verses, stories, and books that had never really caught my attention before, the highlight of those being the book of James. Since then, I’ve read through and studied James three times, and it has swiftly stolen Revelation’s place as my favourite book of the Bible. It’s incredible! Each time I read it, I discover something new. My favourite verse from James is probably verse 17 of chapter 1: “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation of shifting shadow.â€

Revelation was her favorite book of the bible? :shifty-kitty: What exactly is a "fast, intense read-through?" Is that kind of like how I skim my mail walking into the house, tossing half of it in the trash so only the necessary shit gets left on the kitchen table?

Have fun, guys! :popcorn2:

[DomWackTroll]

"...who is an abolitionist..."

Well, I guess when you run with this crowd, you have to actually inform others that you don't believe in the enslavement of black people. It's certainly not just assumed.

[fun2beme]

I'm going against the grain but didn't find the response to #12 to be too snark-worthy. She seems to be a tad more open-minded than other SAHDs discussed here. I still find her lifestyle to be snark-worthy but her answers showed more tolerance and thoughtfulness than a lot of adult fundie bloggers.

[fullmetalheart]

Um, wow. I would likely have killed myself if I were a stay at home daughter, but my dad is an abusive fundie lite asshole. I wanted to cry when she felt bad for spending time on herself. IT'S OKAY TO SPEND TIME ON YOURSELF. IT'S OKAY TO BE GOOD TO YOU. IT'S OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK FROM LIFE HONEY CHILD.

[ThatSnark]

Did you all catch that Alexandra has a JOB??? You go, girl! She's nannying four weekdays during the workday for another family.

[JMarie]

Did you all catch that Alexandra has a JOB??? You go, girl! She's nannying four weekdays during the workday for another family.

Her mom looks high maintenance, surprising for a fundie family.

[doggie]

silly fundies follow the bible and sell your excess daughters into slavery. I very much doubt the bible says to keep your adult daughters at home. Fundies we don't live in 2 AD and we don't live in the middle east we are different.

[socalrules]

So Alexandra has had several jobs, taken college classes, been in a relationship and auditioned for shows? That doesn't sound like a stay at home daughter. That sounds like a young woman who is still figuring out who she is and what she wants out of life. She sounds no different than many people her age. It's just like what I did in my 20s except I didn't audition for shows and I was far from a stay at home daughter. I was just a daughter who lived at home while working and going to school.

[ari_belle]

That last one pisses me off in a Raquel type of way.

[guidedbybobafett]

Aww, those Rovirosas. I loved Sherry's blog, it was so intense and accidentally hilarious.

[childerowland]

Alexandra has been auditioning for 'Les Miserables' - what if she got a part in the chorus, as one of the Lovely Ladies? Would she really be prepared to cavort about wearing 'immodest' clothing singing a song about prostituting herself? I guess so, since she auditioned, but I find it hard to imagine that she would be comfortable doing so given her upbringing. Also, I wonder what the other actors would make of her stay-at-home-daughter-hood. Actors aren't exactly known for being religious or conservative.

I find it interesting that there is so much love for Les Mis among fundie girls given that it is sympathetic towards rebellion against authority and rebellion against parents, features prostitutes, and ends with the least moral characters (the Thenardiers) being rewarded rather than punished for their lack of morality and compassion.

[DomWackTroll]

"God has been teaching me, my family, and our church so much about His grace, and how that is all that makes us holy…not any rules that we could try and keep, not crossing our t’s and dotting our i’s like all the other churches do, but His grace alone. Without it, we’re just sinners trying fruitlessly to lead holy lives without the strength to do so. And in return, 'we show we are Christians by our love'. God has convicted me so much in the past year or so of being judgmental about things that I have no grounds to be judgmental about. What God convicts individual people to do is between Him and them, and it’s neither my place nor my duty to nit-pick at their lives. God’s plan for everyone is different, and that means that their lives and the way they run them are not going to be identical to mine."

Someone very close to them told them he/she is gay. I'd bet a million dollars on it.

[ThatSnark]

"God has been teaching me, my family, and our church so much about His grace, and how that is all that makes us holy…not any rules that we could try and keep, not crossing our t’s and dotting our i’s like all the other churches do, but His grace alone. Without it, we’re just sinners trying fruitlessly to lead holy lives without the strength to do so. And in return, 'we show we are Christians by our love'. God has convicted me so much in the past year or so of being judgmental about things that I have no grounds to be judgmental about. What God convicts individual people to do is between Him and them, and it’s neither my place nor my duty to nit-pick at their lives. God’s plan for everyone is different, and that means that their lives and the way they run them are not going to be identical to mine."

Someone very close to them told them he/she was gay. I'd bet a million dollars on it.

Yep. I'd also guess it's a family member or a very close friend.

[Peas n carrots]

Snip

I find it interesting that there is so much love for Les Mis among fundie girls given that it is sympathetic towards rebellion against authority and rebellion against parents, features prostitutes, and ends with the least moral characters (the Thenardiers) being rewarded rather than punished for their lack of morality and compassion.

I think it's called living vicariously through a musical.

[MissA]

Actually, now that I think of it, being really into Doctor Who makes total sense from a SAHD perspective. The Doctor is a brilliant, witty, kind, and successful man who drops in to the lives of ordinary women (his "companions"), sweeping them out of their ordinary lives into excitement and adventure. They don't have to work or be in any way remarkable to attract him or anything, he just turns up... and he really does LOVE them.

Basically, apart from the fact that he's a time-traveling alien demigod, it's how they're hoping to meet their husbands. The fact that the character (at least in some conceptions) is asexual is probably a plus given the fear and terror that that whole culture builds up around sex.

[Buzzard]

Actually, now that I think of it, being really into Doctor Who makes total sense from a SAHD perspective. The Doctor is a brilliant, witty, kind, and successful man who drops in to the lives of ordinary women (his "companions"), sweeping them out of their ordinary lives into excitement and adventure. They don't have to work or be in any way remarkable to attract him or anything, he just turns up... and he really does LOVE them.

Basically, apart from the fact that he's a time-traveling alien demigod, it's how they're hoping to meet their husbands. The fact that the character (at least in some conceptions) is asexual is probably a plus given the fear and terror that that whole culture builds up around sex.

Its such an interesting spectrum between the SAHD like the duggars and other "royal" fundies and the more mainstream kids that get to watch TV, read actual literature, and take part in worldly things like plays and music lessons at universities. That being said, time traveling aliens are totally not in the bible.

Speaking of literature...

Well, played, costco!

Pleather bound, gold painted copies of KJB mixed in with ebil heretics like Jules Verne and HG Wells! THE HORROR!

[ThisOlGirl]

Its such an interesting spectrum between the SAHD like the duggars and other "royal" fundies and the more mainstream kids that get to watch TV, read actual literature, and take part in worldly things like plays and music lessons at universities. That being said, time traveling aliens are totally not in the bible.

Speaking of literature...

[attachment=0]costco.jpg[/attachment]

Well, played, costco!

Pleather bound, gold painted copies of KJB mixed in with ebil heretics like Jules Verne and HG Wells! THE HORROR!

I was just at Costco Friday and almost bought the Edgar Allen Poe book, but I have a half dozen other books that I need to read first. My Costco seemed to be fresh out of Bibles (Idaho, go figure).

[blackkatya]

"...who is an abolitionist..."

Well, I guess when you run with this crowd, you have to actually inform others that you don't believe in the enslavement of black people. It's certainly not just assumed.

I'm wondering, given the William Wilberforce reference and the fact that she's from Oklahoma, if she is actually a member of this anti-abortion group:

facebook.com/AbolishHumanAbortion

[Shoes Grace]

Alexandra has been auditioning for 'Les Miserables' - what if she got a part in the chorus, as one of the Lovely Ladies? Would she really be prepared to cavort about wearing 'immodest' clothing singing a song about prostituting herself? I guess so, since she auditioned, but I find it hard to imagine that she would be comfortable doing so given her upbringing. Also, I wonder what the other actors would make of her stay-at-home-daughter-hood. Actors aren't exactly known for being religious or conservative.

I find it interesting that there is so much love for Les Mis among fundie girls given that it is sympathetic towards rebellion against authority and rebellion against parents, features prostitutes, and ends with the least moral characters (the Thenardiers) being rewarded rather than punished for their lack of morality and compassion.

The actors I know come in all flavours, and while as a group they may not be religious conservatives, many of them are religious and many are conservative. Generally speaking, they're also a tolerant group, because most of them have tried on a murderer's perspective at least once, or a liar's, or a zealot's, or whatever and had to make that character into a living person.

If it's local/college productions and she's truly too modest for the role, but professional enough to be aware that it's a problem, she should write specifically on her audition form that she would not like to be considered for those roles, but, decolletage is a French word for a reason- significant boobage was simply part of the fashion landscape in 1830s and 40s France. She'd probably have to either man up, or have a reasoned conversation with the director and costume designer. Reasonable requests can be dealt with. I worked with a pre-operative, transitioning, trans performer who made specific requests about dressing rooms and costume pieces, the biggest complication was in being accommodating without outing the actor as trans. Just sewing on a few more ruffles isn't a big deal, but if you walk on-stage and complain about how everything conflicts with your definition of modesty or (as a SAHD) involve your parents, be prepared to be labelled difficult. Difficult actors can get cast, but they've got to be damn talented (see: why Miss Raquel will never get beyond an audition).

On a seriously professional level, however, it's recursive: an actor has to be comfortable, but that usually means they have to figure out what they can do to be comfortable in the situation and do that themselves. So, if you're, ooooh, let's name a fundie actor totally at random ...Kirk Cameron... you leave Hollywood because you cannot touch a woman that's not your wife and make terrible Christian movies.