Avoid Fooling Around--Get Married NOW!

[louisa05]

It surprises me that it would be legal to kick a student out for getting married. What kind of justification do they give for that?

I'm assuming this was a private school, because it wouldn't seem to be legal in a public school, right?

I already answered that question earlier in the thread. It was a private "interdenominational" Christian school. It had at one time been owned by an Assembly of God church and that was the denomination of the administrators at the time. Essentially, the push for early marriage--even of teens-- and courtship was just becoming the trend among the fundy-lites and charismatics that made up the school's population. The policy was basically pushing back at that as the female administrators strongly felt that it would hurt girls' educational opportunities--their guess was that a quick pregnancy would lead the girls to drop out anyway. Assembly of God churches are far less likely to push women to the back. Charismatics have a strong tradition of women preachers and leaders dating back to some of their icons like Aimee Semple McPherson. The most popular AoG 'preacher' in the area at the time was also a woman who essentially became a traveling evangelist in the region.

A public school is obligated to educate all students of eligible age for compulsory education. But a private school can accept and reject students on any basis they choose. In this situation, I have no doubt that by pushing for this policy, the two female administrators of this school saved more than one teenage couple from a disastrous marriage. Aside from the ones that came to the school asking for a policy change, I know of many other students who delayed intended marriages so they could graduate. The majority of those marriages never took place (I can only think of one). And only one student was pulled out of school with the intent that she would marry at 16. In that situation, it seems that the mother would have made the choice to pull her out regardless of school policy. Fortunately, her parents were divorced and (we never knew the details) she ended up not marrying and leaving the state to live with her father a couple of months after mom pulled her out of school.

As a private school able to make a choice about it, I firmly believe they did the right thing given the fundy lite culture they were working with. Most parents valued education just enough to let their kids finish and hold off on the wedding plans. And a lot of break ups happened naturally during the wait that was forced on them.

[Talitha Cumi]

From the comments:

It really is only a matter of time before the fundies start doing arranged marriages between children who have never met each other. Can't have them meeting--meeting might lead to premarital sex!

And the most holiest of engaged couples will be blindfolded during the wedding. Think how special it will be for their first married act to be seeing each other for the first time!

[Talitha Cumi]

A math teacher I worked with at Christian school had a Bible verse to prove the "reason" for every rule in her classroom. Including one that she claimed supported the rule of only doing your math homework in pencil. I wish I could remember what she used for that one because it had to be a big exercise in twisting up words/ideas.

I just hope she didn't make you all pisseth against the wall. :lol:

[Mama Mia]

I already answered that question earlier in the thread. It was a private "interdenominational" Christian school. It had at one time been owned by an Assembly of God church and that was the denomination of the administrators at the time. Essentially, the push for early marriage--even of teens-- and courtship was just becoming the trend among the fundy-lites and charismatics that made up the school's population. The policy was basically pushing back at that as the female administrators strongly felt that it would hurt girls' educational opportunities--their guess was that a quick pregnancy would lead the girls to drop out anyway. Assembly of God churches are far less likely to push women to the back. Charismatics have a strong tradition of women preachers and leaders dating back to some of their icons like Aimee Semple McPherson. The most popular AoG 'preacher' in the area at the time was also a woman who essentially became a traveling evangelist in the region.

A public school is obligated to educate all students of eligible age for compulsory education. But a private school can accept and reject students on any basis they choose. In this situation, I have no doubt that by pushing for this policy, the two female administrators of this school saved more than one teenage couple from a disastrous marriage. Aside from the ones that came to the school asking for a policy change, I know of many other students who delayed intended marriages so they could graduate. The majority of those marriages never took place (I can only think of one). And only one student was pulled out of school with the intent that she would marry at 16. In that situation, it seems that the mother would have made the choice to pull her out regardless of school policy. Fortunately, her parents were divorced and (we never knew the details) she ended up not marrying and leaving the state to live with her father a couple of months after mom pulled her out of school.

As a private school able to make a choice about it, I firmly believe they did the right thing given the fundy lite culture they were working with. Most parents valued education just enough to let their kids finish and hold off on the wedding plans. And a lot of break ups happened naturally during the wait that was forced on them.

So was the school able to have rules about sexual activity outside of school hours ? For example, would they kick a kid out if they found out they were sexually active? It just seems so strange that a school, even if its private, can have so much control over their students lives. Particularly if it isn't some rule like " if a student is convicted of a criminal offense they may be expelled" or something that concerns the safety of other students.

[Arete]

There are religious private schools in the US that can kick out students based on reports of their parents' level of observance. Private schools have a hell of a lot more legal leeway in the rules they can impose on behavior both in and out of school.

[Ampak]

One of my close friends from High School was married in HS. We were in public school so, there was no restriction on her attending school. This wasn't some decades ago either. It was 2006. She was a year older (19) due to being held back in elementary school and was married about a month prior to graduation. Her husband was a few years older and renovated a pool house into small home on his parent's property. FWIW they are still married, childless and she recently graduated college with an RN. They are definitely fundie light and sex was a factor but, they were genuinely in love too.

[louisa05]

There are religious private schools in the US that can kick out students based on reports of their parents' level of observance. Private schools have a hell of a lot more legal leeway in the rules they can impose on behavior both in and out of school.

Exactly. Some private schools require the parents to do a certain amount of volunteer hours or their kids can't attend. Both schools I worked at (one "interdenominational" Christian and one Catholic) had an official policy that students must regularly attend church (of their choice--even the Catholic school allowed any denomination) but didn't really enforce it because for most kids in school that is dependent on their parents. Private schools can also have academic requirements for admittance. A couple of Catholic schools in my area have entrance exams and kids must meet a certain benchmark to be admitted. And a lot of church related schools give admission priority to their own denomination in cases where classes are full. Most private schools also do not keep kids who are constant discipline problems even if their offenses would not get them expelled from public school. They don't have to expel them; they are just asked to not return for the next school year.

I attended both public and private schools growing up and have worked in both. They both have their place and meet the needs of different kids and families. Often, private schools do not have the resources that public schools have--particularly for dealing with ongoing behavioral issues, learning disabilities, other disabilities, English language learners, etc...

[Talitha Cumi]

So was the school able to have rules about sexual activity outside of school hours ? For example, would they kick a kid out if they found out they were sexually active? It just seems so strange that a school, even if its private, can have so much control over their students lives. Particularly if it isn't some rule like " if a student is convicted of a criminal offense they may be expelled" or something that concerns the safety of other students.

I went to a Southern Baptist school for a year, and the handbook said that if they caught you dancing (even in your own home) you'd... get punished somehow. I can't remember if it was demerits or what. Probably demerits. God, I hated that school. (Demerits led to detention, then to paddling, then to detention AND paddling, then to suspension, then to expulsion. I lived my life in fear, even though I only got one demerit ever.)