Sparkling Adventures in Child Neglect: Vive La France

[lilith]

It sounds as if David is 'tormented' but functional. His lawyers must be building a case.

She claims she drove 1000km in a day. Now that is dangerous! My best friend was close to death several times & now has some disabilities because she fell asleep while driving a couple of months ago. To me saying you drove 1000km in a day is like saying you got drunk & drove home.

She says its easier for unschooled kids to get into uni. On what planet exactly? The easiest way is to do what most Australian 18yr olds will be doing for the next 5 weeks, shut yourself away, develop a diet coke dependency & STUDY. Not only are the going to get better results, but they are practicing what they will be doing at the end of every semester for the next 3-4-5 years.

Sounds like she's still a Christian.

Even if by some miracle Lauren's daughters managed to get into university I still very much doubt they will have the skills needed to succeed there or in the workplace.

Sticking to schedules, dealing with deadlines, having to put energy into things that don't particularly interest them, not being able to flit in and out as the mood takes them, and, most of all, being held to objective standards and not having everyone around them constantly gushing about their authenticity and brilliance, would devastate them.

I don't think Lauren is still a Christian, I think she's decided to simply be amazingly spiritual and pick and choose aspects of different religions that feel authentic and sparkly to her.

It's a relief that she says that her baby days are over. I can still see her getting pregnant though - I'm sure she's not going to take the pill or use condoms, and the rhythm method is difficult to stick to and prone to failure even in committed long term relationships. If she arrives in the home of one of her male lovers when she's fertile she's going to risk it.

The comment where Lauren says that there are a few households she fits into "like a sister wife" makes me wonder if she's sleeping with some couples. I know the comment was about chores etc, but in combination with the rest of the not so subtle hints about her sex life it makes me wonder. If so, it could turn incredibly messy and nasty.

[Blahblah]

I don't have FB and never will so if anyone can screencap some of the juicier bits please??

And on the subject of taking kids to inappropriate places, my two LOVE gruesome stuff. We first took them to Ararat J Ward (prison for the criminally insane) when they were aged 6 and 10. And they've both been to other old gaols. But I did word them up first about it beng a historical place, and how things were done differently in the past, and how things these days were much more humane etc. I censor some things for my kids but historical stuff is hard to find in Aus because we're such a young country, and gaols and asylums are about the best we can do.

But I bet that Sparkles let them explore for themselves, trample and touch the "do not touch" exhibits and generally be pains in the arse to anyone else who was there. I can only hope that their lack of education meant they couldn't read some of the more gruesome exhibit explanations if she wasn't willing to give them a context for this stuff.

[outrunningzombies]

The comment where Lauren says that there are a few households she fits into "like a sister wife" makes me wonder if she's sleeping with some couples. I know the comment was about chores etc, but in combination with the rest of the not so subtle hints about her sex life it makes me wonder. If so, it could turn incredibly messy and nasty.

That thought makes me terrified for the kids. I don't see Lauren coping well with a messy relationship implosion, and it's not like she's super stable now.

To be fair, most everything Lauren does makes me worried about the kids.

[lilith]

She really is desperate for attention at the moment:

Either that or she has something she wants to say and people haven't asked her the right questions yet.

[blatantlyeggplant]

She says its easier for unschooled kids to get into uni. On what planet exactly? The easiest way is to do what most Australian 18yr olds will be doing for the next 5 weeks, shut yourself away, develop a diet coke dependency & STUDY. Not only are the going to get better results, but they are practicing what they will be doing at the end of every semester for the next 3-4-5 years.

I can't see the conversation because she's blocked me (despite the fact we have never had any form of contact; go figure?), but I suspect she expects them to be able to get in through some kind of alternative entry pathway. For example, my uni considers admitting undergrad students without taking their VCE into account due to difficult circumstances:

Examples of difficult circumstances are:

Severe family disruption (divorce/separation of parents)

Long-term illness of a family member

Abusive living environment

Disruption of education due to constant relocation

Homelessness

Excessive family responsibility

Death of an immediate family member or friend

Natural disaster

Aisha sadly ticks almost all of those boxes already. Not exactly something a reasonable person would aspire to as a way for their child to be admitted to university but then, we are talking about Lauren here. Not that I think she has any desire for her children to actually go to uni; critical thinking skills are just so inauthentic.

[August]

It sounds as if David is 'tormented' but functional. His lawyers must be building a case.

She claims she drove 1000km in a day. Now that is dangerous! My best friend was close to death several times & now has some disabilities because she fell asleep while driving a couple of months ago. To me saying you drove 1000km in a day is like saying you got drunk & drove home.

She says its easier for unschooled kids to get into uni. On what planet exactly? The easiest way is to do what most Australian 18yr olds will be doing for the next 5 weeks, shut yourself away, develop a diet coke dependency & STUDY. Not only are the going to get better results, but they are practicing what they will be doing at the end of every semester for the next 3-4-5 years.

Sounds like she's still a Christian.

Is there a way into university without exams?

ETa: interesting. Provided they're willing to wait until they turn 18 there ia a two hour multiple choice test which doesn't cover any specific knowledge, called the STAT test. I wonder if it's really that easy?

[ladyaudley]

I drove 924km in one day on my own. Granted, no four children to distract me and it wasn't the most pleasant of trips - I did it out of necessity. But it's definitely possible.

[blatantlyeggplant]

The STAT is very easy. My dad did it to get into uni when he was in his mid-thirties after dropping out of school at 15 and didn't have a problem. I took one of his practice tests and passed with flying colours; I was 14 at the time. At that time you had to be 22 to take the STAT though; I didn't realised they had lowered the age limit. That would be a pretty good way to get in since you're 18 when you graduate high school on the east coast anyway. But then, there's nothing stopping any high school student from taking the same test so it's certainly not *easier* for an unschooler.

[thoughtful]

I don't have FB and never will so if anyone can screencap some of the juicier bits please??

And on the subject of taking kids to inappropriate places, my two LOVE gruesome stuff. We first took them to Ararat J Ward (prison for the criminally insane) when they were aged 6 and 10. And they've both been to other old gaols. But I did word them up first about it beng a historical place, and how things were done differently in the past, and how things these days were much more humane etc. I censor some things for my kids but historical stuff is hard to find in Aus because we're such a young country, and gaols and asylums are about the best we can do.

But I bet that Sparkles let them explore for themselves, trample and touch the "do not touch" exhibits and generally be pains in the arse to anyone else who was there. I can only hope that their lack of education meant they couldn't read some of the more gruesome exhibit explanations if she wasn't willing to give them a context for this stuff.

The place had mannequins with recordings -- motion-activated, if I remember correctly, and a big painting of a flogging. So no reading skill was needed to see and hear unpleasant stuff.

And, of course, unlike you, Lauren doesn't really seem to know her kids, or pay attention to who they are or what they can handle. She seems to have a blinded-by-narcissism image of her kids.

If they had nightmares or complained to her about something scary, I imagine she'd tell them they were not being authentic and whatever they feared was "neutral." Then she'd tell the world how the kids weren't walking in righteousness, or just not tell us anything.

[DomWackTroll]

"Instead, I have good friends with whom I share intimacies when we are in the same space."

I just thought of her in a threesome with Hellena and Cure-a-Dong and threw up in my mouth a little.

I also found this interesting: "Angela, yes, David can articulate what was going through his mind at the time. But it's not a rational process, and it's certainly not something he felt before or afterwards."

Temporary insanity defense?

[happy atheist]

Maybe when they come to North America, they can visit Alcatraz and Eastern State Penitentiary. Eastern State is really cool, but I wouldn't take little kids.

http://www.easternstate.org/home

Wouldn't their little bare feet just love it here?

[tropaka]

"Instead, I have good friends with whom I share intimacies when we are in the same space."

She has an interesting definition of polyamory - which I took to mean maintaining multiple romantic/intimate relationships at the same time. She's just describing casual sex.

[chaotic life]

I'm a very live and let live person with sex lives. I don't care that Lauren us shacking up with anyone and everyone now. However, there are things children should NOT be exposed to and when you live in a is, there is no way you are sexing things up and hiding it from children who should be protected. She states she is no longer meeting new people but traveling between a few homes now, so at least there is that tiny bit of security for those girls.

[flubber]

She's headed to Tasmania again ... for 5 months this time! Man what a life, I think I need to get in on this NE!

[August]

I'm a very live and let live person with sex lives. I don't care that Lauren us shacking up with anyone and everyone now. However, there are things children should NOT be exposed to and when you live in a is, there is no way you are sexing things up and hiding it from children who should be protected. She states she is no longer meeting new people but traveling between a few homes now, so at least there is that tiny bit of security for those girls.

Can you C&P?

[Sola]

Her latest response:

Lindis, because I'm travelling, I have no committed single relationship. Instead, I have good friends with whom I share intimacies when we are in the same space. Polyamory is a very complicated concept, but I believe it's a natural by-product of being open and loving in a very mindful way. That's about all I want to say about it right now.

So she's got some fuck-buddies? Well why doesn't she just say that instead of dressing it as 'authentic' and 'sparkling'? Oh wait, this is Lauren...

[Terrie]

I know so many poly people who would smack her upside the head for that comment. They hate, hate, HATE the "holier than thou" types who act like polyamory is better or more evolved than monogamy, rather than simply a variation in the sexual spectrum.

[southerncharm]

It sounds as if David is 'tormented' but functional. His lawyers must be building a case.

She claims she drove 1000km in a day. Now that is dangerous! My best friend was close to death several times & now has some disabilities because she fell asleep while driving a couple of months ago. To me saying you drove 1000km in a day is like saying you got drunk & drove home.

She says its easier for unschooled kids to get into uni. On what planet exactly? The easiest way is to do what most Australian 18yr olds will be doing for the next 5 weeks, shut yourself away, develop a diet coke dependency & STUDY. Not only are the going to get better results, but they are practicing what they will be doing at the end of every semester for the next 3-4-5 years.

Sounds like she's still a Christian.

Driving 1000km is 621 miles. At an average speed of 60 miles per hour, that's just over 10 hours. That is not dangerous at all, driving 10 hours in one day is acceptable according to the DOT's guidelines for truck drivers.

I think in the rush to join the group and be judgmental, you've gone overboard with this particular accusation. However I am sorry for your friend.

[miffy]

No, its dangerous.

I presume you have spent a great deal of time driving on Australian roads in the outback to feel that you can judge me, for judging somebody else

[southerncharm]

No, its dangerous.

I presume you have spent a great deal of time driving on Australian roads in the outback to feel that you can judge me, for judging somebody else

You're right. I'm sure driving for 10 hours in Australia is much more dangerous than driving for 10 hours anywhere else. I apologize for judging you for being judgmental of someone else. Perhaps we should all be a little more understanding.

[ohnomoe]

Under ordinary circumstances I wouldn't say that driving 10 hours a day is particularly dangerous but I would say that with four young kids in the van it seems likely that you'd become tired faster and that there would be more opportunities for distraction. Again, this isn't necessarily a big risk but I don't really understand why you'd want to put yourself through that too often.

What concerns me most is that Lauren is open about the fact that she does not sleep well at night since Elijah's death and tired drivers are very dangerous drivers. I am also not convinced that the girls used seat belts.

...sleeping is still an issue for me. I often take melatonin to help me complete a night. Lately, I have embraced my early waking as an indication that I may not need much sleep and I use that time to update my blog. Then sometime I get to go back to bed and grab a nap before everyone's awake and noisy.

[August]

I've driven ten hours, it's dangerous, even with careful frequent breaks, I'm very glad nothing big jumped onto the road in front of me toward the end.

I would guess that your average Australian long distance drive is probably worse than your average US one, because in the US you'd be on an interstate, fenced, divided, multi lane. That's going to reduce the amount of overtaking into oncoming traffic and animal crossings.

[miffy]

I've driven ten hours, it's dangerous, even with careful frequent breaks, I'm very glad nothing big jumped onto the road in front of me toward the end.

I would guess that your average Australian long distance drive is probably worse than your average US one, because in the US you'd be on an interstate, fenced, divided, multi lane. That's going to reduce the amount of overtaking into oncoming traffic and animal crossings.

Yes, one lane each way, no divider, sun beating down on the car, road trains.

Lots of the roads in the 'vast interior' are unmade, so they get corrugated and are awful to drive on.

[chaotic life]

Little kids should not be contained for 10 hours a day in a regular basis. Frankly, I don't think I could do 10 hours a day with children in the vehicle. I'm certain she would have to allow those children to be up and moving and not safely restrained to accomplish it. Furthermore, that much sitting and driving is associated with blood clots. It's not healthy for anyone to drive that much at a time. She's supposedly on the road, what is the hurry?

[southerncharm]

I think this entire thread has disintegrated into bashing anything and everything this woman does. I've read posts here picking apart her every decision, and just blasting her for her failings.

It's sad.

Are her decisions good or bad? Is she the perfect mother? I don't know.

But what I do know is what it is like to survive the death of a child. And I don't think it's appropriate to throw stones at someone who is trying their best just to get through every day whole.

My daughter died 7 years ago, and I look back on some of the things I did back then, and don't recognize myself. I don't remember this, but I apparently laughed at a joke less than an hour after she died. I can only imagine I was in shock. And I'm glad I wasn't surrounded by people who would judge me. People who would roll their eyes, and "what a terrible person... her daughter isn't even cold."

Let me tell you, the loss of a child is startling, it is jarring. This woman woke up one day and had a whole family. The next day she was identifying her dead baby and watching her husband arrested for the crime.

I think she's done a pretty well job of keeping her daughters happy and whole. Has she been perfect? No. But I read her blog and see a woman who is trying every day to come to grips with what she has to work with.

She lets her kids play. I played when I was little. There were hours where my parents didn't even know where I was! When I was four we lived on a golf course. My grandfather told me that there were alligators in the ponds in an attempt to keep me off the course! I stayed out of the water hazards, but was famous for playing in the sand traps when I wasn't supposed to! I wasn't neglected. I was allowed to play.

I don't know what it would take for some of you to have a more sympathetic ear, but many of you need to explore the concept of empathy. Just try reading her blog for a week, and look for positive things. Just give it a try. It may just change your mind about Sparkling Adventures.

And yes... I know she took a holiday without her kids. So what. Plenty of people go on vacation without their children.

And yes... I know you suspect that she's getting benefits. So what. She's not breaking Australia's budget with her very frugal lifestyle.

And yes... I know that some people give her money and other donations. So what. People give money to other people and organizations all the time. I know people who donate to the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Foundation... and think that's stupid that they're just donating for the president of that organization's million dollar salary. But so what? It's their money to give.