Mom jealous of daughter

[FJismyheadship]

heresyintheheartland.blogspot.com/2013/06/mothers-fathers-and-stay-at-home.html

This girl talks about how her relationship with her father was ruined by her mother.

She grew up ATI and posts a lot about that.

[mrs]

I find this blog very interesting, too. I particularly like her post on modesty.

heresyintheheartland.blogspot.com/2013/06/on-growing-up-modest.html

[nelliebelle1197]

Are we sure she is real? Hate to say it but she is a good writer and is pulling me in...

[kitkat]

I know that everyone is gun-shy after the whole Ruth debacle, but I don't think that people need to start worrying that every ex-fundie blogger is a faker. In this case, the blog doesn't have ads on it, there isn't a tip jar, and the comments are relatively sparse, and mainly come from people who seem to have met this woman in real life. So if she is faking for attention, she's doing it wrong.

[polecat]

Are we sure she is real? Hate to say it but she is a good writer and is pulling me in...

Just a note:

I grew up fundie. Even went to fundy universities. I'm also a professional writer. Pretty sure I could suck someone in with my writing about my fundy childhood . Doesn't make it false. I also have a blog, but it's private, lol.

If her blog is consistent re: details, she's probably a real person with real experiences.

[anjulibai]

This is in her post on Gothard on Education

Valuable learning time is lost in school; two hours of home teaching is equivalent to six hours of school teaching.

This explains a lot about the Duggars.

To this particular post about jealousy by moms, it makes sense. They push behavior that amounts to emotional incest between fathers and daughters, of course the mothers are going to feel threatened after a while.

[realist51]

Reading through her blog, I got to the part about Gothard and character education. About 15 years ago, my then 8-year-old daughter's school had a "Character Counts" program, and my daughter was voted the "Kid of Character" from her class. We went to a big ceremony at a theater where kids from all over the county got their awards. At the time, I just thought it was a nice idea to focus on character a bit rather than the constant obsession with high scores that was rampant in out school district. Now I am wondering if this wasn't another Gothard-inspired program. When I have the time, I'll try to look into it.

[chaotic life]

The SAHD movement encourages a teen daughter to commit her heart and soul to her father as if she is a lover. At the same time, a QF, Patriarchal mother lets her brain rot to the very things that her husband would want to discuss, as her ONLY value is in bearing, raising and educating her children.

One of the biggest break downs in my fundie marriage was the reality that I allowed myself to let my brain rot. My husband was not interested in discussing the latest cloth diaper craze, and I had little else TO discuss, even if I attempted to keep up with politics and current events.

So yes, I can absolutely see what this blogger claims. It's certainly something people have noticed about the Botkins family in the past.

[chaotic life]

I don't believe she is another Ruth. While she doesn't have an about me section and openly declare herself, she does have her name and her location, as well as her children's elementary school listed in different posts on her blog.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Reading through her blog, I got to the part about Gothard and character education. About 15 years ago, my then 8-year-old daughter's school had a "Character Counts" program, and my daughter was voted the "Kid of Character" from her class. We went to a big ceremony at a theater where kids from all over the county got their awards. At the time, I just thought it was a nice idea to focus on character a bit rather than the constant obsession with high scores that was rampant in out school district. Now I am wondering if this wasn't another Gothard-inspired program. When I have the time, I'll try to look into it.

Is this the program? http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

If so, I volunteer with a version of it here in my state. It's non-sectarian and the focus is on helping children discuss and learn ideas about ethics and character. The big phrase you find in most of the guides for the awards program is "No matter what your political or religious affiliation, this event is about the universal values we share."

[thoughtful]

Is this the program? http://charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html

If so, I volunteer with a version of it here in my state. It's non-sectarian and the focus is on helping children discuss and learn ideas about ethics and character. The big phrase you find in most of the guides for the awards program is "No matter what your political or religious affiliation, this event is about the universal values we share."

I think Character Counts is the Bill Bennett version, and Character First! is Gothard.

[realist51]

Character Counts is the one. Thanks for finding that; I feel better.

[jenny_islander]

This is in her post on Gothard on Education

This explains a lot about the Duggars.

To this particular post about jealousy by moms, it makes sense. They push behavior that amounts to emotional incest between fathers and daughters, of course the mothers are going to feel threatened after a while.

Actually, this is Gothard's stopped-clock moment. In the lower grades, the work in a standard pre-NCLB schoolday can be condensed into two hours for one or a few children. The other four hours represents time spent going from classroom to classroom, setup, cleanup, taking turns, and the teacher making sure that all of the kids got the lesson. More time is required in the higher grades, and by the time you get to high school, the student should be spending considerable time studying and writing on his or her own in addition to the one-on-one teaching.

Regarding your second point, I've read accounts before of this kind of dynamic between mothers and daughters in patriarchal households. The fundamentalist daughter who correctly performs her assigned role is the special princess, living proof of the wonderfulness of the patriarchal lifestyle, and Daddy's helper and confidante since his actual helpmeet is usually exhausted.