Babies are assholes!?

[meda]

My son is a month old, and he is indeed a very cute little asshole. Now that he has had 2 nights in a row where he slept for 5 hours straight, my husband and I are about ready to downgrade him to needy jerk. 8-)

I was unaware that something so small could cry so very, very loudly.

[Maggie Mae]

Babies are kind of assholes, but at least they can be cute. The mothers, though, I can't handle the mothers who think that they only live to serve their stupid, idiotic, asshole child. It's, like, women get pregnant and forget about everything other than their stupid baby. NO. Having a child is NOT special. It's actually, pretty much the exact same thing that millions of women have done before you, and millions (and even more, so many that we don't have a word for it) will do after you. Sorry moms, but I think you are generally stupid.

[Peas n carrots]

What I abhor is the mommy wars. Oh, I do XYZ and my kid will be so well adjusted and because you don't your kid will be a GIANT LIFE FAIL!!!11!! It's like people forget that babies aren't one size fits all and neither are parents.

The breastfeeding warriors are the worst IMHO. I had a friend of a friend who had a baby recently, and she was having a hard time breastfeeding. She wanted to, but she just had a hard time producing enough milk. She was miserable and the baby was miserable. The lactation consultant derided her for even considering moving to the bottle, and that she needed to pump constantly and supplement with donated milk. I For an exhausted new mother, she DID NOT need to hear she was a terrible mother from some asshole who wasn't there 24/7 with a miserable baby. She finally made the switch to formula and everyone is happier and the baby is gaining weight. This isn't the first I've heard of this two...I have a couple other gf's who went through very similar situations with their own babies and breastfeeding.

[dramallama]

Heavens to Betsy, someone said what a whole lot of people think but dare not say for all the pearl-clutching that will ensue! :o Babies and kids are assholes. They have no concept of empathy or the needs of others, the world revolves around their every whim, and they can be viciously cruel (not so much with babies, but kids, definitely). It's not their fault, it's just how the human brain develops, but that doesn't make it any less true. That's why it's so important for caring adults to raise them and hopefully prevent them from growing up into big assholes. Judging by plenty of adults that I meet, that's no simple matter. This is reminiscent to me of people who tell me (a childfree person) that no one ever regrets having kids - bullshit. It's just that few people ever say it because the pearl-clutchers who have no understanding of nuance and complex feelings would jump all over them if they dared, and because they love their kids and don't want to hurt them by saying so. I appreciate the honesty.

[twin2]

Somebody needs to buy fucking Dora a GPS. I break out if I hear that song now.

I hate Dora with the fire of a elevenlty billion suns! The only thing I hate more than Dora is The Bubble Guppies. Do not get me started on the inanity of the Bubble Guppies.

Fortunately I'm an Auntie and only have to deal with it on vacations. How twin1 puts up I don't know, my only guess is earplugs....

[Rowan]

My son is a month old, and he is indeed a very cute little asshole. Now that he has had 2 nights in a row where he slept for 5 hours straight, my husband and I are about ready to downgrade him to needy jerk. 8-)

I was unaware that something so small could cry so very, very loudly.

When my niece was a newborn/infant, my sister would call her "the friendly little dictator." Most nights, the "friendly" got dropped. :lol:

[apple1]

My son is a month old...

Congrats! (I knew you were pregnant, but I guess I missed that the baby was born).

:D :D

[Evilbad]

I called my son the baby pterodactyl, I have I idea if it was accurate but the squalling he did sounded like that to me.

[apple1]

Babies are kind of assholes, but at least they can be cute. The mothers, though, I can't handle the mothers who think that they only live to serve their stupid, idiotic, asshole child. It's, like, women get pregnant and forget about everything other than their stupid baby. NO. Having a child is NOT special. It's actually, pretty much the exact same thing that millions of women have done before you, and millions (and even more, so many that we don't have a word for it) will do after you. Sorry moms, but I think you are generally stupid.

1) I understand that SOME (SOME!) mothers may fit your description. Some, not all, not even most.

2) Once a baby is here, the baby's needs do have to be met. Not optional.

3) I'm 60 years old now. I have two adult daughters, one granddaughter, and a to-be-born any moment grandson. I will disagree with you till "hell freezes over" on your last two statements. Background: I am a professional woman, well respected in my particular field. I have a "life" outside of family and home (and always did). The most "special" (not that fond of the word, but I will stay with the word you used) things that I have accomplished in life (FOR ME - I am NOT saying this is everyone) were raising my kids, and now my granddaughter.

4) I am not stupid.

Balance. I recognize (and never shame) that my choices are not the right choices for everyone else. Similar respect back would be great.

[Cran]

Mommy Wars are even worse than the little zombies they take as pretext for them.

"X doesn't breastfeed! How horrible! The baby will grow up with a thousand allergies for sure!"

"Y went back to work 8 weeks after birth, the child will be emotionally scared for life!"

"Z doesn't even buy ORGANIC food for her children...!"

"She doesn't buy underwear made of organic cotton for her child! It will break out and have the scars for life!"

And that's jut the stuff I'm being told, as an innocent, child-free bystander in my circle of friends.

[FreeJosie]

As the meanest person in the whole world, my kids don't even know who Dora or Caillou are. I'd prefer to listen to them shreik than that awful child. Why does she have to shout everything?

Ugh, Caillou. "I don't WANT to!"

I'm another one who prefers the infant stage over the toddler stage.

[JesusFightClub]

Small: "I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO DO IT AND IF YOU MAKE ME I WILL SAY THE F WORD."

Me: "Small, you aren't allowed to say the F word."

Small "I WILL SAY THE F WORD AND THE C WORD. TELLIN YOU RIGHT NOW, KEN WHIT AH MEAN."

:doh:

[Chowder Head]

Want assholes..teach jr high, lol That being said I love my niece and newphews. I plan to be a kick ass aunt. My niece is almost 7. When she was small I keep her alot but was always ready to give her back lol. But honestly, what I seen in teaching is that some parents still attachment parent way to much. And these kid, I seen, are either bullish or needy,

[ljohnson2006]

I hope he never runs into some of the Duggars. They're the biggest assholes of all.

[IamCanadian]

Want assholes..teach jr high, lol That being said I love my niece and newphews. I plan to be a kick ass aunt. My niece is almost 7. When she was small I keep her alot but was always ready to give her back lol. But honestly, what I seen in teaching is that some parents still attachment parent way to much. And these kid, I seen, are either bullish or needy,

Yep. Last year I taught a mix of grade 7s who parents either let them raise themselves (not a good thing) or fought every battle and made every excuse for them (also not a good thing).

Kind of unrelated, but there was one really nice kid who failed the year because he was absent 71% of the year. (There are no truancy laws here). His mother would keep him home for anything; if he was sick, if she was sick, if either one was tired, if it was raining etc. And those were only the days she bothered to call in with an excuse :) When she found out that he would have to repeat the year, she flipped at the teachers and principal. Poor kid.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Babies are kind of assholes, but at least they can be cute. The mothers, though, I can't handle the mothers who think that they only live to serve their stupid, idiotic, asshole child. It's, like, women get pregnant and forget about everything other than their stupid baby. NO. Having a child is NOT special. It's actually, pretty much the exact same thing that millions of women have done before you, and millions (and even more, so many that we don't have a word for it) will do after you. Sorry moms, but I think you are generally stupid.

:? I'm not even a mom, and this may be the most offended I've ever been on FJ. Seriously, what a fucking ridiculous thing to say.

[ShadowyOne]

:? I'm not even a mom, and this may be the most offended I've ever been on FJ. Seriously, what a fucking ridiculous thing to say.

I'm not really offended, but then again, I'm not offended by much. But I will say, as the mother of a two-and-a-half-week old baby, that parenting a newborn, at least, does consume pretty much all of one's time. I am pretty much obsessed with mothering. There isn't much time for anything else, when she needs to be fed and changed every 2-3 hours. Not to mention dishes, laundry, making sure my fur babies (and husband) don't feel totally ignored, and eating and washing my own damn self.

[August]

Babies are kind of assholes, but at least they can be cute. The mothers, though, I can't handle the mothers who think that they only live to serve their stupid, idiotic, asshole child. It's, like, women get pregnant and forget about everything other than their stupid baby. NO. Having a child is NOT special. It's actually, pretty much the exact same thing that millions of women have done before you, and millions (and even more, so many that we don't have a word for it) will do after you. Sorry moms, but I think you are generally stupid.

My kids are going to be wiping your ass when you're senile, so you'd better damn well hope I put some thought into raising them. But let me guess, you're the one bitching and moaning when your friends no longer want to go out for six hours on a Friday night because it's going to cost them a hundred dollars and three pumping sessions more than it will cost you.

I have to go now and tell your surgeon that they shouldn't bother paying attention during your gall bladder surgery because it's nothing special, they do them all the time. And the guy preparing your salad, I'll tell him not to be too into the whole hand washing thing because salads are a dime a dozen.

Just because there are billions of babies and children doesn't mean it's not worthwhile for everyone involved to put some time and effort into not fucking up too badly when trying to make them into functional adults. But if you can't see that without being told you're morethan generally stupid, you're specifically stupid.

[IamCanadian]

I came across this article in my breakfast-time perusal of The Daily Mail this morning. (Don't judge. It's my guilty pleasure) It's not fundie-related, so mods, feel free to move. However, it is pertinent to how this thread is going and I thought it was interesting.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... nship.html

(Not breaking the link because it's The Daily Mail.)

ETA: I just want to be clear that I don't think kids or babies are at fault for any problems suggested in the article. It's the adults in charge.

[OkToBeTakei]

:? I'm not even a mom, and this may be the most offended I've ever been on FJ. Seriously, what a fucking ridiculous thing to say.

I'm not offended in the least. Unless the OP means EVERY Mother in the world which I suspect was not her intent. I'm going to be frank here, I've met plenty of the type she is talking about and I think they are a pain in the arse too :P

[Dinaberries]

Babies are kind of assholes, but at least they can be cute. The mothers, though, I can't handle the mothers who think that they only live to serve their stupid, idiotic, asshole child. It's, like, women get pregnant and forget about everything other than their stupid baby. NO. Having a child is NOT special. It's actually, pretty much the exact same thing that millions of women have done before you, and millions (and even more, so many that we don't have a word for it) will do after you. Sorry moms, but I think you are generally stupid.

Go fuck yourself.

[OkToBeTakei]

Go fuck yourself.

Ah my favourite retort to something you find offensive, be even more ignorant and offensive.... Well done!!!!!

[Dinaberries]

Ah my favourite retort to something you find offensive, be even more ignorant and offensive.... Well done!!!!!

That's how I roll, obviously, as is shown in my posts. Please pardon me if I was too busy serving my stupid, idiotic, asshole child to write something more thoughtful.

[dairyfreelife]

I'm not offended in the least. Unless the OP means EVERY Mother in the world which I suspect was not her intent. I'm going to be frank here, I've met plenty of the type she is talking about and I think they are a pain in the arse too :P

That's my understanding as well. I don't think she meant all moms, just the helicopter-type crazy moms obsessed with their children. I know the type she's talking about and I get it. I want children, want to be mother, but I never thought she was speaking to all mothers as being generally stupid.

[Childless]

What I abhor is the mommy wars. Oh, I do XYZ and my kid will be so well adjusted and because you don't your kid will be a GIANT LIFE FAIL!!!11!! It's like people forget that babies aren't one size fits all and neither are parents.

The breastfeeding warriors are the worst IMHO. I had a friend of a friend who had a baby recently, and she was having a hard time breastfeeding. She wanted to, but she just had a hard time producing enough milk. She was miserable and the baby was miserable. The lactation consultant derided her for even considering moving to the bottle, and that she needed to pump constantly and supplement with donated milk. I For an exhausted new mother, she DID NOT need to hear she was a terrible mother from some asshole who wasn't there 24/7 with a miserable baby. She finally made the switch to formula and everyone is happier and the baby is gaining weight. This isn't the first I've heard of this two...I have a couple other gf's who went through very similar situations with their own babies and breastfeeding.

I had that same problem. I just couldn't produce enough milk. It got so bad in the hospital, that the medical staff put my son on formula supplement. I still tried to breastfeed for a month after we got home, but it devolved into a battle between him and me. Neither of us were happy and I felt it was starting to affect our ability to bond, so I stopped and went to formula. Both of us were much happier, my son wasn't constantly hungry, and life was much calmer. Sometimes, breastfeeding isn't the best solution for a family. My little one is three now and smart as a whip (to smart for his own good sometimes). Being formula fed hasn't seemed to affect him much, other than the fact that he didn't starve to death as an infant. When some holier than thou mommy tries to give me grief about it, I simply ignore her. I know I did what was best for my child at the time and I don't really care what anyone else has to say about it.

FYI for any new moms out there: My son had latching issues as an infant (which didn't help the situation at all). I never knew why until he turned two and at his two year well baby appointment the doctor mentioned the fact that he had a labial frenulum that may need to be surgically removed in the future if it didn't correct itself. I sure wish someone would have thought to check for that when he was a newborn. It might have helped in our breastfeeding fiasco. We ended up getting it removed about a month after that appointment because it was causing other eating issues for him. Just wanted to relay my experience in case other mothers have babies with latching issues. That could be the problem. It's really easy to fix when they're newborns, but not so easy when they're toddlers.