Catholic Wedding Attire - laughworthy

[Mela99]

I found this while looking around for things for my wedding. Yes, we are having a Catholic wedding, but not a mass.

There was a suggestion for how brides should "dress Catholic". Cracked me up, so I thought I'd share it.

Common sense is a good guide when it comes to wedding attire. On the one hand, you want your outward appearance to be a sign of your inner dignity, and the beauty of the love you share as a couple. On the other hand, you want to avoid dressing in a way that distracts from the liturgy. Wedding dresses with long trains tend to be distracting, for instance, because the bride and other members of the wedding party spend so much time during the ceremony arranging it and trying not to trip over it. - See more at: catholicweddinghelp.com/wedding-planning/12-details.htm#decorations

[Arete]

Our churches (EO) are forbidden to charge fees for sacraments. You do have to be a member of the parish, and that means you have paid your yearly dues. Most couples will give a donation.

[PennySycamore]

I find it interesting that the guidelines don't mention anything about sleeveless gowns or the neckline of the gowns. These people are just worried about the gown's train.

[louisa05]

I had a Catholic wedding with a full mass. The parish I lived in charges $500. I worked for them, so they offered me a generous $25 discount. We decided to see about getting married in my husband's parish (where we ended up staying) and the answer about a fee was "make a donation if you wish". We gave the church $100 a month later.

The parish I lived/worked in also had a dress code for wedding gowns including no strapless, no low cut, and moderate trains. Our parish has no dress code. Our priest suggested that strapless doesn't always look great in church, but said that he does not "pick out wedding dresses". We were at another Catholic wedding a few months after ours where a bride with some good sized girls had a strapless dress and every time she got up during the ceremony, she grabbed the top and heaved it up and the girls bounced a little. Kind of tacky. Especially in church.

Sadly, I think some of the stuff on that page has to be said because a lot of people are insane when they plan weddings. I was at a Protestant wedding with a canopy. That dingbat little bride would have brought that into any church if no one told her not to. She saw it in a wedding magazine and thought it looked "cool". I was in a wedding party with a videographer whose wife was the "director" and made us do "second takes" of stuff. If no one had told them they couldn't, they probably would have tried it in the middle of the ceremony. I suspect every rule on there was inspired by a real event.

[Mela99]

I added cap sleeves to my dress, but less because we are getting married in a church and much mroe because I hate my shoulders.

[Guest]

I've looked at that site trying to plan my wedding (which is imaginary and only exists on Pinterest at this point but shhh!) and I really like the guidelines. It seems that most are about practicality rather than "modesty." The train one especially- I imagine traditional catholic weddings with super crazy trains (a la Maria in the Sound of Music) but, while traditional, they are incredibly impractical and would take away from the sanctity of the day. Better than fundies who all wear the same T-shirt dress to be "godly"

I agree that strapless dresses or dresses that are on the immodest side would look strange in a Catholic Church, but that might just be me. I'm not a fan of showing much skin, and I would definitely want my cleavage and shoulders covered on the big day.

[Arete]

You do have to keep photographers and videographers within certain boundaries. I do not blame houses of worship for spelling some of the boundaries out. I've never been to a wedding where a priest refused to marry the couple because the bride was in a strapless dress. :lol:

True story, my sister wound up going to a bridal store whose clientele skewed heavily toward Orthodox Jews. She did not want a strapless dress, she did not LIKE strapless dresses for herself, and at the time she got married strapless was an absolute must have in a wedding dress. Don't think that because this place catered to Orthodox Jews where modesty was important that the dresses were something you would see at a Quiverfull wedding. Most of them were quite beautiful and stylish.

[miffy]

I'm not engaged yet, but I decided ages ago that i'm getting married at an Anglican Cathedral in the city. Its not cheap, but its a CATHEDRAL! They don't say anything on their website about a dress code for the bride. Even the nearest Anglo Catholic church doesn't give you strict rules about weddings.

[ADoyle90815]

My SIL actually wore a halter type dress when she married my brother in a Catholic ceremony. Personally, I'm not a fan of strapless wedding dresses, so I might go for at least something like my SIL wore, or at the very least, have the bridal store add straps to my dress.

[patsymae]

I've been to several Catholic weddings in different churches over the past few years and all of the brides wore strapless dresses. No jackets or shawls required. Unless it's some quirk of a particular parish, as long as your boobs aren't hanging out I don't think they care. Pretty much all of the women guests over 35 covered their shoulders, though.

[Swamptribe]

Please don't get a strapless dress, please don't get a strapless dress. I am so sick of strapless dresses.

Sorry, just had to rant.

Frankly, I'm addicted to 'four Weddings" and "Just say yes". It shocks me how immodest (see thru) some of the dresses that women choose, and wear in a Synagog or Church. (and I'm a Secular Humanists). I've heard women preach about how modest they are, and they show up at their wedding in something that looks like it would be at home in a bordello. Maybe I'm just old and not with it anymore, but you can still look stunning, elegant, and fashionable in a fairly modest dress.

Strapless dress, or nudist wedding?

[latraviata]

Please don't get a strapless dress, please don't get a strapless dress. I am so sick of strapless dresses.

Sorry, just had to rant.

Frankly, I'm addicted to 'four Weddings" and "Just say yes". It shocks me how immodest (see thru) some of the dresses that women choose, and wear in a Synagog or Church. (and I'm a Secular Humanists). I've heard women preach about how modest they are, and they show up at their wedding in something that looks like it would be at home in a bordello. Maybe I'm just old and not with it anymore, but you can still look stunning, elegant, and fashionable in a fairly modest dress.

Strapless dress, or nudist wedding?

I agree and I am a (old) secular humanist atheist. Showing a lot of skin and wearing a veil is a contradictio in terminis. A wedding dress is a day dress, not a gala gown or evening dress.

I occasionally watch this 'Four Weddings' as well and indeed the brides have absolutely no clue what a wedding dress should look like. Strapless, bling and a 300 pound bride in her late thirties stuffed in some sort of white debutante ball, hideous!

newyorksocialdiary.com/partypictures/2007/01_08_07/partypictures01_08_07.php

http://bekendebruiden.wordpress.com/tag/valentino/

[Peas n carrots]

I wore a strapless *shrugs*. I have good shoulders, and not afraid to show them off. It had a full skirt, so it wasn't like I was showing a lot of leg as well.

I've been to many Catholic weddings with strapless gowns.

Louisa, let me guess...Lincoln Diocese? :lol: I know folks who get married in Omaha to specifically to do certain things not allowed in Lincoln.

[galaxy]

Please don't get a strapless dress, please don't get a strapless dress. I am so sick of strapless dresses.

Sorry, just had to rant.

Frankly, I'm addicted to 'four Weddings" and "Just say yes". It shocks me how immodest (see thru) some of the dresses that women choose, and wear in a Synagog or Church. (and I'm a Secular Humanists). I've heard women preach about how modest they are, and they show up at their wedding in something that looks like it would be at home in a bordello. Maybe I'm just old and not with it anymore, but you can still look stunning, elegant, and fashionable in a fairly modest dress.

Strapless dress, or nudist wedding?

LOL. That's rather unfortunate.

My mom always used to point out the wedding announcements in the local newspaper where you couldn't see the bride's dress at all in the headshot portrait of the couple.

[Nothing2CHere]

I got married in a Catholic church with a full ceremony, in a strapless dress. I, however, specifically wanted a strapless dress because I thought that looked best on me. I've got fat upper arms, and I thought that any sort of little cap-sleeve would just draw attention to my fat arms, and since I got married in June and I sweat at the slightest hint of humidity, I didn't want any longer type of sleeves. Whereas in a strapless gown, there was nothing to distract from my neckline. My cousin, who has the same build as I do, got married a few years before me and had some sort of thicker spaghetti-straps on her gown, and every time I look at her wedding photo, I think she looks like a linebacker because they just emphasized her arms.

My bridesmaids were also in strapless gowns, to match me, but they had shawls they wore during the ceremony. And now here's my funny shawl story... another cousin got married and I was in her bridal party. Again, Catholic church. Our bridesmaid dresses had thin spaghetti-straps, so in other words, might as well have been strapless. The church didn't require it, but the mother of the bride thought it would look more modest if we wore shawls over our shoulders and then tied them in the back, to make sure they didn't slip off during the ceremony. Well, in order to get the shawls to tie, we had to stand straight up with our shoulders straight back, like we were at military attention. And most of us were big-busted women, so all this did, instead of making us look modest, was draw even MORE attention to our boobs because they were now all sticking straight out there. :lol:

[Mudball]

I don't like strapless. It's either something leftover from my Catholic upbringing, or I am just uptight for other reasons. :lol:

No, come to think of it, the reason strapless annoys me so much is because the wearer is often pulling the dress up by the front! You can watch any bride show (I recommend "Bridezillas" lol) and make a drinking game of it.

[gustava]

I don't like strapless. It's either something leftover from my Catholic upbringing, or I am just uptight for other reasons. :lol:

No, come to think of it, the reason strapless annoys me so much is because the wearer is often pulling the dress up by the front! You can watch any bride show (I recommend "Bridezillas" lol) and make a drinking game of it.

Not too many young women can wear strapless comfortably. In the photo above, notice the rounded shoulders. None of them are sitting straight, and most probably will not walk with their shoulders back, which would make them look better.

Honestly, I thought Kate's and Pippa's dresses were lovely, and they wore them well.

I've also read that designers prefer strapless as sleeves are a challenge to design.

[quincygal]

My first wedding- full mass in Episcopal church. Per my priest since childhood, he implied he didn't want to see too much cleavage, but he was cool with my spaghetti-strap number, cathedral-length train and cathedral-length veil. Church gets hit by lightening 2 weeks later & burns to the ground (no joke).

Second wedding- I wanted a backyard deal, but MIL freaked out & we went with a five minute judge-thing followed by a rocking reception. I had bought a white sundress but wound up in a nice ivory halter top dress with an ankle-length skirt & no veil. This website kept me sane (along with a great deal of Taco Bell) tackyweddings.com It's not being added to anymore, but it's awesome!!!!

Ultimately, I wish I had gone with dresses that covered more cleavage & shoulders. I'm heavier & tend to dress more conservatively so it would have been more up my alley than just going with stuff in fashion.

[crawfishgirl]

My daughters used to attend a Catholic elementary school. When my oldest was in 1st grade, the students presented an evening spring concert, and the attire (for the girls) was a spring dress, and no other instructions were given. Since we are near the gulf coast, spring here is very warm, and sleeveless dresses are common, especially for young girls. However, that evening one of the 1st grade girls was told that she would not be allowed to participate, because someone had deemed her dress straps as too revealing. Her mother had to scramble, and eventually found another girl who lent her her short sweater so that she could 'cover up' and participate. I thought that the whole thing was ludicrous - thin straps on a young girl is not too revealing, and if the school/church wasn't going to allow them, then they should have announced it in advance, and not waited until that night to make arbitrary decisions.

[lilwriter85]

I've been to several Catholic weddings where the brides and bridal party wore strapless or spaghetti strap dresses and no one had issues with the attire.

[uber frau]

This website kept me sane (along with a great deal of Taco Bell) tackyweddings.com It's not being added to anymore, but it's awesome!!!!

Thanks for the link. Guess what I found:

http://tackyweddings.com/2009/07/21/fas ... /#comments

(I'm guessing this was the original source for the "Makes the Duggar's look dirty" thread on the yuku board back in the Dark Ages.)

[louisa05]

I wore a strapless *shrugs*. I have good shoulders, and not afraid to show them off. It had a full skirt, so it wasn't like I was showing a lot of leg as well.

I've been to many Catholic weddings with strapless gowns.

Louisa, let me guess...Lincoln Diocese? :lol: I know folks who get married in Omaha to specifically to do certain things not allowed in Lincoln.

The parish I worked in was Omaha. The rules there were from the priest. He moved on and I've seen photos via Facebook of former students' weddings with strapless dresses.

Lincoln apparently has a whole list of rules. I bought my dress in Lincoln and since it was sleeveless and she knew we were having a Catholic wedding, the sales woman whipped out a bunch of jackets and shrugs as soon as I picked it out. I explained that I was not getting married in the Lincoln diocese and did not need it.

We could not get married in Lincoln, actually, even though it is my hometown. You can only get married in their churches if one of the couple or their parents is a registered member of the parish. We were members where we live in the Omaha Archdiocese, as are my husband's parents, and my parents are not Catholic. So their rules barred me from having a wedding in my hometown. Nice, huh???

[nokidsmom]

Not too many young women can wear strapless comfortably. In the photo above, notice the rounded shoulders. None of them are sitting straight, and most probably will not walk with their shoulders back, which would make them look better.

Honestly, I thought Kate's and Pippa's dresses were lovely, and they wore them well.

I've also read that designers prefer strapless as sleeves are a challenge to design.

Sewer who as done wedding dresses chiming in.

Not only that but making sure the neckline area fits properly is a challenge as well. So with strapless, you omit having to deal with any neckline and sleeves, which would be the most challenging part of fitting the dress. The waistline and skirt part is easy.

[auntsally28]

Went to a wedding where both bride and older bridesmaids were in strapless and heavily boned bodices due to some fairly large busts needing support. There was also a very young bridesmaid that was carrying a basket of flowers that she dropped. Older bridesmaid bent down to pick up said basket and overflowed. Congregation gasped, then looked down apart from a couple of teenage boys in the choir who looked like all their Christmasses had come at once. Very noble best man rushed with with jacket and she left the church to sort herself out. Bride looked most unimpressed....

[Adrienne83]

I was married in a Catholic Church, mass and all. There was no restrictions for my dress, but I actually wanted sleeves and a crazy long train. That and white where my dress specifications. The reason why I wanted sleeves was to cover up. It was just a personal preference, ya know? The dress also had a sweetheart neckline, so it's not like I wanted to be crazy turtleneck modest or anything, lol.

My dress was the third of three sample dresses of that particular design that the store had left. My dress originally had off shoulder sleeves, and the lady I bought it from was a seamstress. One of the other two girls that bought the dress cut her train off, and the seamstress kept it. She used that to make my sleeves, after moving the off the shoulder straps up to be normal straps. Looking at the dress you would never know that the sleeves were added, since it matched the rest of my dress perfectly.

My dress from the back. We never did manage to get a photo of all my train from the back, lol. :lol: