19 Kids and Counting - All Things Duggar Family - Part 5

[mebeforee]

If you write them, try and suggest some leisure reading for the kids... any time they're asked their favorite book it's Before You Meet Prince Charming or that one about the Christian spy (or something?). Always the same two. It makes me sad.

[mebeforee]

And I get a whole different kind of sad when I realize these girls who have apparently only read a handful of things in their lives are publishing a book.

[ljohnson2006]

Send them cards for Mother's Day! Jill Jana Jessa Jinger, and I suppose Joy definitely deserve them. FJ should do a big one next year.

[Mela99]

Posted this on the other thread about the Duggars coming to Ohio, but I really really want all of your opinion...do you think if I went to that event, that I would be able to talk to any of the older girls? To let them know that there are lots of people on the outside who are willing to help them financially for a little while and make sure they have a safe place to stay? If I did manage that, do you think it would make a dent in their fundie world?? Seriously will consider doing it if you guys think it could help them.

I think you'd have a chance to start talking, but Boob or someone else would pounce the minute you did. I wonder if you could pass on something innocuous - a notebook or something pretty as a gift, and put the info inside where they would find it?

[TXCATLADY]

Uh oh, looks like Joy is starting to wave/curl her hair, judging by that pic. Run from the rollers, Joy!

Also, does Josiah have a black eye?

At least she isn't sporting the ever popular spiral perm!

[nellautumngirl]

Yeah I'm not so sure a note is a good idea, wasn't this discussed somewhere before? They would probably hand it over to their parents automatically without allowing themselves to think about it. And in the unlikely case that they keep it, where would they hide it? One of the children or grandma or a visitor could find it, and then what?

[purpleeee]

I would be really creeped out if a stranger approached one of my children and encouraged her to run away from home. I'd be supercreeped out if the stranger tried to pass the child a hidden message, or if the child was underage, as Joy-Anna is.

I know you mean well, but from the Duggar point of view they don't know you and as public figures, they're probably seen their share of very weird folks and are wary. What reasonable explanation could you offer if they called security on you?

I'm not telling you what to do, that's your decision, but you did ask for opinions and I may be alone, but I just don't think it's a good idea.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

The J'Slaves use spray tan like Boob uses Aquanet. Way too much. A little goes a long way ladies.

I've been wondering: how much of their bodies do you guess they tan? If they went to a tanning salon they would be sprayed all over except for the bikini area but I'm guessing they don't cover that much with the home spray tan. Do you think they spray themselves alone or with the help of another sister? If they do it alone, they could remove more clothing but not be able to reach their back. If they do it with a sister's help then I imagine they expose less skin. T hey probably have very weird tan lines whichever way they do it.

[scc12]

it could be one of those gradual tanning lotions? idk,i'm not familiar w self-tanners.

[Patsy]

I would be really creeped out if a stranger approached one of my children and encouraged her to run away from home. I'd be supercreeped out if the stranger tried to pass the child a hidden message, or if the child was underage, as Joy-Anna is.

I know you mean well, but from the Duggar point of view they don't know you and as public figures, they're probably seen their share of very weird folks and are wary. What reasonable explanation could you offer if they called security on you?

I'm not telling you what to do, that's your decision, but you did ask for opinions and I may be alone, but I just don't think it's a good idea.

And from the kids' perspective, I think if I were one of them and wanted to leave, I'd still find that incredibly off-putting, to say the least.

[ari_belle]

And from the kids' perspective, I think if I were one of them and wanted to leave, I'd still find that incredibly off-putting, to say the least.

All good points. Thanks for your input. I guess there's no good way to do it, so I shouldn't try. I don't want them to be even more afraid of the world than they already are.

[purpleeee]

That you wanted to try, though, is a reflection of a kind heart. The impulse to help is good, I didn’t mean to be down on that!

[NotALoserLikeYou]

This may be a really dumb question, but would it be possible to write letters (as in snail mail) to the Duggar girls?

My daughter (who is coincidentally named Jessa) wrote Jessa a letter a couple years ago. We sent it to their home address and she never received a reply.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ive never heard of anyone else being called Jessa before, other than Jessa Duggar. I think its a really pretty name.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Ive never heard of anyone else being called Jessa before, other than Jessa Duggar. I think its a really pretty name.

My ex husbands name is Jesse and his mom was going to name him Jessa had he been a girl. So we decided to do that. Jessa Lynn.

Jesse and Jessa. Hey, we were 20 years old lol.

Thanks, I think it's pretty too. I've googled it and there are quite a few Jessas and variations of jessalyn. We know one Jessalynn but yeah, it's rare.

[marmalade]

At least she isn't sporting the ever popular spiral perm!

Except for Jinger, I think they've chucked the spiral perm in favor of the 2" barrel curling iron. Joy just cut off a lot of length, so that may just be a residual natural wave resulting from air-drying her hair now that there's 6 inches less of it weighing down. Mine does the same thing if I don't blow it out.

[realist51]

Do you really think the Duggar kids would have no one to turn to if they decided to leave? Grandma was fairly mainstream once. She could certainly give advice. Cousin Amy could help them. Michelle has non-fundie family. Even Anna's wayward siblings might be an option. They have regular contact with camera people and crew. They don't seem without resources to me.

[alba]

I've been wondering: how much of their bodies do you guess they tan? If they went to a tanning salon they would be sprayed all over except for the bikini area but I'm guessing they don't cover that much with the home spray tan. Do you think they spray themselves alone or with the help of another sister? If they do it alone, they could remove more clothing but not be able to reach their back. If they do it with a sister's help then I imagine they expose less skin. T hey probably have very weird tan lines whichever way they do it.

Given that they never wear anything that doesn't cover their shoulders and thighs, they probably actually have an easier time dealing with tan lines than most women, as they just need to tan a little bit above their hemlines and sleeves. No awkward shoulders or backs to cover. But you're right, they (especially Jinger!) probably look ridiculous underneath those shirts and skirts.

I do hope it's spray tan Jinger's using, and I think it is. Most women her age I'd say she knows the risks and if she wants to be cavalier about her health it's her choice (especially given that Jinger has so few choices of her own), but this is the family that thinks TTC is healthy; I wouldn't put it past them to think skin cancer was a feminist conspiracy to keep women ugly. Well, maybe that's going a little far, but I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't knowledgeable on the subject.

Speaking of the health value (or lack thereof) of TTC, I wonder if Jichelle, like many people, associates the health value of food with its calorie content, so when she talks about feeding her family healthy food what she really means is she restricts their portion sizes so they don't get fat.

[mebeforee]

Do you really think the Duggar kids would have no one to turn to if they decided to leave? Grandma was fairly mainstream once. She could certainly give advice. Cousin Amy could help them. Michelle has non-fundie family. Even Anna's wayward siblings might be an option. They have regular contact with camera people and crew. They don't seem without resources to me.

I do always immediately think of Amy as someone who would help them if they tried to get out, but if I think about it I'm not so sure. That would probably cause a major fallout between Amy and the Duggars, and she really seems to enjoy being on television. I'm not sure whether she would burn her bridges publicly like that, no matter how much she wanted to help her cousins. (Though she also seems to see no problem with their lifestyle and may just brush off any complaints by the kids as being usual kid stuff, too)

[MsSaylor]

I agree about Amy. I also don't see grandma as an option. She is living in the house and by all appearances submitting to Jim bob. The camera crew doesn't make sense either. I can't see them helping the girls escape while simultaneously filming the show. I don't know what, if any, access they have to Michelle's family or Anna's rogue siblings.

[JenniferJuniper]

Until one of them makes the first step on his or her own, they'll be on their own. I'm sure they'll have plenty of support once they finally do.

The only path I see for the current crop of adult Duggars is a direct confrontation with Boob. "Quietly let me out and help me get set up with x,y and/or z or I'll find a way to get to the media."

I suspect it would work quite well. Boob would probably prefer to negotiate with one of his kids and have some control over the outcome rather than see headlines about a rogue offspring who is about to tell-all. Do I think any of the current adults would do this? No. Middle kids once their old enough? It's possible.

[Whipple]

A Duggar boy or two can marry a fundy-lite girl (that's allowed) and get out that way. Then that new family may be able to provide a pathway to freedom for some of the younger girls. I don't see a rebellion happening now. I used to. Now I think almost all of the girls are all brainwashed. I hold out a shred of hope for Joy. However, I used to think Jinger would find her way out.

[FeministShrew]

I would be really creeped out if a stranger approached one of my children and encouraged her to run away from home. I'd be supercreeped out if the stranger tried to pass the child a hidden message, or if the child was underage, as Joy-Anna is.

I know you mean well, but from the Duggar point of view they don't know you and as public figures, they're probably seen their share of very weird folks and are wary. What reasonable explanation could you offer if they called security on you?

I'm not telling you what to do, that's your decision, but you did ask for opinions and I may be alone, but I just don't think it's a good idea.

The thing is, the J-slaves are not children. They are adults. They wouldn't be running away from home, they would be leaving home to start their own adult lives, like most people do.

[mebeforee]

That's true, but they also haven't been allowed to have any sort of adolescent period in which they experience independence in a safe environment. To a normal person that age it would be going off to start their lives, but I really don't think they would view it that way. I can't imagine how scary it would feel to walk away from a family that is almost your only source friendship, money, guidance, and the basic necessities of life.

The age of a person is kind of an arbitrary marker of "adult" and "child". Their parents keep them in a suspended state of childhood, illustrated by the grown children still sleeping in the same room with their toddler siblings.

[paganhomeschooler]

Ive never heard of anyone else being called Jessa before, other than Jessa Duggar. I think its a really pretty name.

My daughter had a science teacher at her e-school named Jessa. Every time I got an email from her, I thought of the Duggars. lol