Sunshine Mary explains why women have "ravishment" fantasies

[snuggles911]

Sunshine Mary has a post today about why a majority of women fantasize about being "ravished" i.e. sexually overpowered by a hot alpha male. Turns out we really want to be dominated by men.

Here are some nuggets of wisdom from sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

Most women have ravishment fantasies, not permission fantasies. Why? Feminists have always answered this question with a highly unsatisfying blame game: they say that women only want to be ravished because they really desire sex but have been socialized that good girls don’t like sex, so they have to pretend that they are being ravished or raped so that they don’t feel guilty for actually wanting sex so much.

Let’s just pause a minute so we can all laugh uproariously at that bit of feminist absurdity.

She refers to a study:

his new study found that the less repressed about sex women said they were and the more positive attitudes they had about sex, the more likely they were to fantasize about rape or ravishment. It makes sense, when you think about it: These women are more open to fantasy in general, and are less likely to feel guilty about their fantasy lives.

…And just in case that doesn’t completely shut down the slut-shame theory: Women who reported more rape fantasies were more likely to have high self-esteem.

Sunshine also backs up her theory with images of romance novel covers showing women in submissive poses wearing big smiles as they look up at the men who are about to ravish them.

Being ravished actually empowers a woman, according to Sunshine:

Because a woman can never possess the power that is unique to men and still maintain her femininity, she desires to be made to submit to that power. When he ravishes her, he allows her to submit sexually, and she can temporarily be filled with the power she desires but can never have. This is why the marital act is emotionally satisfying; he desires to conquer and she desires to be conquered and experience his uniquely masculine power.

And that is why the feminists want to emasculate men, by taking sexual control away from them:

It is not likely coincidence that feminists have gone after masculine power, most especially in the sexual realm, and sought to neuter it. What better way to destroy the desire between a man and his wife, and thereby destroy that which makes a marriage a marriage than by removing the power from men and giving it to women? Why it’s even more effective if we can get men to voluntarily give up their power themselves to women! Of course, this causes women to find their husbands sexually repulsive.

By the way, Sunshine believes there is no such think as marital rape as marriage gives spouses the right to unlimited sexual access. So, a husband is free to ravish his wife whenever he wants, which is perfectly fine since women like to be ravished anyway.

All of this feminist nonsense about women not really wanting to be ravished is Satan's plan to destroy God's design for marriage.

Marriage is the symbolic picture God gave us of Christ and His bride, the Church. Given that the desire to be ravished by her man’s power helps bond a woman to her husband, it is clearly a good thing and of God. Neutering this power is simply Satan’s way of using feminism as a pawn to weaken the bonds of love and desire between men and their wives in an attempt to destroy Christ’s Bride by destroying the beautiful symbol of Christ’s love that is earthly marriage.

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

So ladies, if you want to be a good Christian wife, just lay back and enjoy being ravished!

[2xx1xy1JD]

WTF?

Fantasy and reality not the same. Period.

Do I seriously need to explain this? I guess I do.

In fantasies, you never have a yeast infection, or vaginal dryness from breastfeeding, or a UTI, or abrasions from previous sex, or anything else that would make sex really painful instead of fun.

You are never truly scared because you don't have control and don't know just how far someone else will go.

In fantasies, you are actually controlling what happens, even if it is through a different character.

In fantasies, you are never completely exhausted.

In fantasies, nobody is smelly, nobody is poking you in the wrong place, nobody is making it hard for you to breathe or otherwise causing sex to be unpleasant.

In fantasies, it is all about you. In reality, rape is about the rapist.

In fantasies, nobody gets pregnant or gets a disease against their will.

[FeministShrew]

Oh, good grief. Reading romance novels & imagining yourself as the heroine is one thing, but most of us probably wouldn't really want to be in those situations (but if that's your kink, that's your business!).

When I was a romantic teenager, I loved to fantasize about being dominated & taken care of by a strong handsome male. My dream was to be married to one (be careful what you wish for!). If Twilight had been around back then, Bella & Edward's relationship would have been my ideal.

As a 45 yo, twice divorced, once dumped domestic violence survivor, my fantasies are completely different. All women are different, all women have different fantasies & needs. Sunshine Mary needs to shut the hell up.

[Swamptribe]

Sunshine Mary does not understand the difference between make believe and reality.

[curlytoes79]

I wonder if Shitstain Mary is aware that quite a few men enjoy being dominated in bed. How does she think the dominatrix industry stays in business?

[Anxious Girl]

So it's ok for men to have fantasies, "ravishing"/not, but not women because it's not Biblical? According to Biblical fundie Christians, women should shut up. Why isn't shitstain doing this? Is it because she's an only missionary? I thought that women wouldn't be able to be proselytizers, since they shouldn't speak unless spoken to. What a tool.

She may be the biggest tool next to the Tool.

[JesusFightClub]

WTF?

Fantasy and reality not the same. Period.

Do I seriously need to explain this? I guess I do.

In fantasies, you never have a yeast infection, or vaginal dryness from breastfeeding, or a UTI, or abrasions from previous sex, or anything else that would make sex really painful instead of fun.

You are never truly scared because you don't have control and don't know just how far someone else will go.

In fantasies, you are actually controlling what happens, even if it is through a different character.

In fantasies, you are never completely exhausted.

In fantasies, nobody is smelly, nobody is poking you in the wrong place, nobody is making it hard for you to breathe or otherwise causing sex to be unpleasant.

In fantasies, it is all about you. In reality, rape is about the rapist.

In fantasies, nobody gets pregnant or gets a disease against their will.

This.

Fantasy is about control, and the women with the rape fantasies are not really fantasising about rape...they're fantasising about being sexy and irresistible with a ravishing lover who is overcome by their beauty. Or even if it gets really down and dirty, it's still all controlled, because it's all in the woman's head.

I'm of the strong opinion that fantasies are great and no one should feel bad for having them...but in some cases, they really don't and shouldn't translate to the real world. This is one.

[docmom]

It is not likely coincidence that feminists have gone after masculine power, most especially in the sexual realm, and sought to neuter it. What better way to destroy the desire between a man and his wife, and thereby destroy that which makes a marriage a marriage than by removing the power from men and giving it to women? Why it’s even more effective if we can get men to voluntarily give up their power themselves to women! Of course, this causes women to find their husbands sexually repulsive.

SSM, you have got to STOP MAKING THINGS UP!! This is simply NOT TRUE. What you seem not to understand is that people are different. There are some women and some men who like the "dominant alpha male" fantasy and there are many others who don't (both men and women). One of the wonderful things about feminism is that it has allowed both men and women to identify partners that share their tastes sexually.

I do wonder why a woman who admits her husband has had many affairs considers herself such an authority on what women should and shouldn't do sexually.

[Dysfundamental]

I certainly know both women and men who have ravishment fantasies. And women and men who have fantasies of ravishing others. And women, men, and people who don't identify as either who are "meh" about the idea. And women and men who are "ew" about the idea. Different strokes for different folks, as they say.

I hate when people call them "rape fantasies" because nobody fantasizes about sitting in the ER with a sour police officer until someone comes to swab you for the evidence kit, of being on hold with the victim advocacy hotline, of feeling sick and dizzy from a course of prophylactic anti-HIV meds, &c.

[wtylcf]

Methinks Mary is simply justifying that her husband treats her like shit by sugar-coating male-female relations in a layer of gender-essentialist nonsense. I hear, "All woman like to be dominated and that's why they have rape fantasies," and I am pretty sure it means, "Please, let me still feel worthwhile as a woman in spite of my husband's affairs because he still has sex with me sometimes." (sadface)

[fundyfunland]

This woman's a tool! Ravished does not equal rape! Sexually dominated/sexual submission does not equal rape! Rape is an non-consensual act of violence that has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction of either party involved. Sexual dominance/submission is consensual with the goal being sexual satisfaction of both parties involved.

[AnywhereButHere]

She seems to talk about/reference sex a lot in her writings. I'm thinking she really enjoys the research aspect of it all... :think:

Oh, and without question, she's batshit crazy.

[OkToBeTakei]

Translation.

Want sex. REAL sex. Got shit sex. Fantasy. YAY. Shit. Must find bible passage now to fit it.

[Rainytown]

I do wonder why a woman who admits her husband has had many affairs considers herself such an authority on what women should and shouldn't do sexually.

She's obviously fantasizing that she lives with a monogamous man in a happy relationship.

If her husband is availing himself of other women in the marital relationship without an understanding between husband and wife that both are able to pursue other interests, she has NO BUSINESS advising anyone on a relationship. She should also get tested for STD's stat, but hey, I'm sure she thinks she can pray 'em away.

[laura oz]

What a hateful hate filled shrew.

[danvillebelle]

I wonder if Shitstain Mary is aware that quite a few men enjoy being dominated in bed. How does she think the dominatrix industry stays in business?

True dat. My therapist used to live and work in Boise - lotsa Mormons. He told me he treated a LOT of Mormon men who were seriously into BDSM and hiding it from their wives.

[GolightlyGrrl]

What a hateful hate filled shrew.

QFT! This woman really needs to take her dysfunction and psychopathic characteristics off the Internet and get some fucking help!

[gezykah]

So feminists all got together and decided sexual fantasies are bad but righteous Christians such as her suddenly are ok with them :roll: ?

[Artemis]

This woman is one of the most unpleasant people I've come across on the internet, mean-minded, small-souled, toadying, sycophantic, bigoted, sick, desperately trying to suck up to the 'powerful' men to hang on to some sort of status. A true gender traitor, radically masculinized in the same sense that a jihadi is radicalised. One could say that she is unworthy to own a cunt. (Yes, I know, it's a lot more of a shocking word in the USA. I just happen to think women need to reclaim it as a worthy word. Men have owned it as a curse for too long. Time we had it back again.)

She does not seem to understand that the fact that SHE personally has 'domination' fantasies - I'm not going to even go to the place of calling them rape fantasies, as that it totally disrespectful to rape victims - DOES NOT EQUAL everyone having domination fantasies.

What is it with people who are convinced that their personal experience, preferences and beliefs can only be validated for themselves by making them mandatory for everyone else?

Is it so impossible for her to be her own person? To say boldly 'Hey, I have fantasies about being dominated, and I know it's a bit kinky and others don't find it a turn on, but you know, that's OK, because I can make my own choices without reference to anyone else?'

Why, because this is true for her must she try to make it true for all, and pander to the rapists and Men's Rights Activists into the bargain?

Also, does she not realise that those (mostly men) who pet her on her blog because she fawns on them would turn on her in a heartbeat?

Living on the edge of that group is a dangerous business, Mary. You may be the little person on the edge of the gang going 'Yeah, go on, hit him, hit him, kick some butt, I'm right behind you!' and that might feel good now, but you're the first person they'll turn on when there isn't another victim to beat.

Think about it.

[snuggles911]

In a strange twist of fate, a white supremist blogger named Hipster Racist has apparently discovered Sunshine's blog and loved this post so much he reblogged the entire thing on his website: hipsterracist.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/ravishment-fantasies-as-an-expression-of-the-feminine-desire-to-submit-to-male-power-pg-13-mildly-nsfw/

He says Sunshine does a much better job of explaining the desire for male domination than his attempts.

[tanksmom]

As others have mentioned there is a big difference in fantasizing about being ravished and being raped. Under spoiler tag as it might be triggering

I have set up and participated in a rape fantasy. It was set up by me with people I trust. I set the rules, I had the final say, I could stop it at any point. Any yes, SSM I set it up so I could stop it at any time. It was an interesting experience but I don't want to do it again. That is the difference, I had the control not someone else.

So you can take your justification of the fact that your husband treats you like shit and shove it. One thing does not equal the other.

[GolightlyGrrl]

In a strange twist of fate, a white supremist blogger named Hipster Racist has apparently discovered Sunshine's blog and loved this post so much he reblogged the entire thing on his website: hipsterracist.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/ravishment-fantasies-as-an-expression-of-the-feminine-desire-to-submit-to-male-power-pg-13-mildly-nsfw/

He says Sunshine does a much better job of explaining the desire for male domination than his attempts.

Wow, Toxic Waste Mary really attracts some fine upstanding fellows doesn't she?

[AtroposHeart]

If being a Christian a good Christian wife means laying back and letting your husband rape you and then making him a steak the next day, then I'll be a good Pagan wife and after he has fallen alseep, after he is done raping me, cut off his balls and give them as an offering to Artemis.

[Artemis]

If being a Christian a good Christian wife means laying back and letting your husband rape you and then making him a steak the next day, then I'll be a good Pagan wife and after he has fallen alseep, after he is done raping me, cut off his balls and give them as an offering to Artemis.

Thanks. I guess I could hang them round my neck, with all the others :lol:

I know the French, and a lot of old-fashioned farmers here eat 'animelles' (my grandad did: waste not, want not!) but I'm not sure I fancy them with bacon for breakfast.

You're thinking of the statue of Artemis like this aren't you?

Find it so funny that for centuries male ethnographers and archaeologists believed that she was 'many-breasted' Artemis. Look closely, guys. THERE ARE NO NIPPLES. Those ovoids are often, thought not always, considered to be genuine male bovine gonads, from bulls sacrificed to the virgin goddess. (The argument still rages especially among those who don't like the idea of a powerful, emasculating female deity.)

[fundyfunland]

In a strange twist of fate, a white supremist blogger named Hipster Racist has apparently discovered Sunshine's blog and loved this post so much he reblogged the entire thing on his website: hipsterracist.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/ravishment-fantasies-as-an-expression-of-the-feminine-desire-to-submit-to-male-power-pg-13-mildly-nsfw/

He says Sunshine does a much better job of explaining the desire for male domination than his attempts.

Someone named himself Hipster Racist? Oooookay. Then again, I suppose that kind of douchebagggery should be expected from a white supremacist.