"Dear Future Husband" blogger is now depressed

[fiery redhead]

Okay, wait, is Sarah Malley this "dear future husband" blogger?

Also, isn't SM the one with the younger SAHD sister that has the squeaky voice of a manic 13yo even though she is also a grown woman?

NO! Haha, Sarah Mally wouldn't be caught dead ever writing about how she looks forward to a guy. She wrote a very twisted book basically bragging about how she runs from every opportunity. The blogger is anonymous.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Im not surprised :( She spends all her time thinking about the future, instead of enjoying life now and making things happen. Men don't just fall from the sky, if she wants to be in a relationship, she needs to go out and meet people. She could have missed the opportunity to be in a really awesome relationship with a guy who really loves her, just because she was so busy thinking about this fictional character who doesn't exist. She could have seen her potential future husband a million times, but hasn't noticed him because she has raised her standards so high that no human could meet them. Her obsession over an idealistic, unrealistic, imaginary person is pushing away people who want to meet her in the present-and also her blog is more offputting than Raquel, and would make men run away screaming. You cant save yourself for someone who doesn't exist, what if the right guy was any of the men she ignores because shes thinking about imaginary future husband. Thinking like that means she is destined to be alone. And when she dies at the age of 80, surrounded by a pile of letters to the future husband who never came and the 30 cats she got to try and fill that hole, and finds herself in Heaven, and asks God why he never gave her a partner, he will probably tell her that he created a few men who were compatible with her and liked her, but she ignored them because her standards were too high.

I think she needs some therapy, and to let go of Imaginary Future Husband, its never going to happen, so then she can start enjoying life as it is and meeting new people, and then when she isn't expecting it, a nice man will come along who has an interest in her, and then she can have a real husband who exists.

[Toothfairy]

How much do you want to bet she's envisioned a man so perfect that she's overlooked men who've been interested in her because she had no idea they were interested? She sounds so much like an old friend of mine who thought no man had been interested in her yet because God would bring her her husband and that would be that. Her eyes were closed to a sweet young man who brought her red roses she said were just friendship flowers. She couldn't see this young man trying to court her because she was sure God would send her a good man. I guess she thought there'd be a bright light above him saying "From GOD" or something. That sweet man finally moved on.

I think it's sad. Prince Charming isn't going to magically appear at your doorstep one day. Some of these girls have such high expectations that no guy wants to be around them. There is no such thing as the perfect man

[Toothfairy]

She should go to ChristianMingle.com and find God's match for her!

Because I guess God needs the internet in the 21st century to bring people together.

:?

Dangerous. A women got raped by hooking up on that website

[fun2beme]

Dangerous. A women got raped by hooking up on that website

That's the sad truth. I think some people who use religious sites tend to feel safer because of the affiliation but there are terrible people everywhere - at coffee shops, bars, church functions, online, etc. You can't trust anyone. I've been on religious and regular sites and know that all too well. I'm always actually grateful when men are rude and/or nasty in thier profiles. At least they put their true selves out there instead of being a wolf in sheep's clothing.

It's hard enough for me as a woman in my late 30s who goes out and has friends to meet someone - I feel really badly for these fundie ladies.

[dairyfreelife]

That's the sad truth. I think some people who use religious sites tend to feel safer because of the affiliation but there are terrible people everywhere - at coffee shops, bars, church functions, online, etc. You can't trust anyone. I've been on religious and regular sites and know that all too well. I'm always actually grateful when men are rude and/or nasty in thier profiles. At least they put their true selves out there instead of being a wolf in sheep's clothing.

It's hard enough for me as a woman in my late 30s who goes out and has friends to meet someone - I feel really badly for these fundie ladies.

Well...everyone should be careful, but I have had some success meeting people online. However, I'm overly cautious about people and I never found it's taken long to see the wolf under the sheep's clothes.

[Rescinded and Mended]

My friend met a couple of guys on Christian Mingle. Every time she goes on a date, I fuss at her to meet the guy there (drive separately) and to make sure they are always in a well-lighted, public facility. I fuss because once, she went out with someone she didn't know and let him pick here up and do the driving. I don't want her to ever become a victim, and you never really know with meeting people online.

[socalrules]

My friend met a couple of guys on Christian Mingle. Every time she goes on a date, I fuss at her to meet the guy there (drive separately) and to make sure they are always in a well-lighted, public facility. I fuss because once, she went out with someone she didn't know and let him pick here up and do the driving. I don't want her to ever become a victim, and you never really know with meeting people online.

Everything you said and make sure a friend knows where you are going, the name and profile of the person being met, and if they have exchanged phone numbers (which they should and verify it) that should be given as well. I am big fan of googling anyone I am meeting and emailing that to friends as well. You cannot be too careful. No man worth his salt is going to have a problem with a woman taking precautions to protect herself. If anyting, that is a virtue.

As to "Dear Future Husband" blogger, I would be depressed too if I was writing letters to a non-existent person. As a kid, I wrote to the beautiful Wil Weaton from Star Trek Next Generation and received a signed photograph. It never occurred to me to write to his character Wesley Crusher. That would just be weird.

[16strong]

I always get the sense that Christian Mingle is a huge target for seedy and manipulative men that want to take advantage of naive women that think it is safe to use because of the Christian label. I personally wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot barge pole.

[nausicaa]

I always get the sense that Christian Mingle is a huge target for seedy and manipulative men that want to take advantage of naive women that think it is safe to use because of the Christian label. I personally wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot barge pole.

I wouldn't be surprised. In the days before Christian Mingle, and before internet dating was really accepted, I had an older colleague who was divorced and somewhat shy, traditional, and religious. She went to some Baptist church divorced singles event and said it was the creepiest thing she had ever been to. A bunch of controlling men who wanted someone desperate to wash up after them and do the cooking. Most had never even been to the church or any church at all. She worried even more about the men who targeted women with children...

[Trynn]

When I met some people off the Internet, I gave a friend all the identifying info I could. I then told him to call the police if I:

1. Failed to text him every hour on the hour (realistically speaking, giving a 5-10 min grace period)

2. Failed to mention a certain topic in my texts (for example, if I don't mention cats, there is a gun to my head)

3. Texted and mentioned a certain topic, (if I mention dogs, something is wrong.)

Also, we met in an old public place and I texted my friend the address. He wanted to come with me but He was out of town for the weekend and I refused to wait.

It seems like a little much when I type it all out, but I mean, you can be too careful.

[fun2beme]

Well...everyone should be careful, but I have had some success meeting people online. However, I'm overly cautious about people and I never found it's taken long to see the wolf under the sheep's clothes.

I've met some nice men online, too. Didn't mean to sound like I was putting down meeting people online. Sorry!

Like everyone else, I definitely take precautions. But a lawyer friend of mine cautioned me that you can only find someone's criminal history online if they were actually convicted. Not sure if that differs by state, though.

[Georgiana]

I've met some nice men online, too. Didn't mean to sound like I was putting down meeting people online. Sorry!

Like everyone else, I definitely take precautions. But a lawyer friend of mine cautioned me that you can only find someone's criminal history online if they were actually convicted. Not sure if that differs by state, though.

And only if they give you their legal name. Many sites do not check/require that the name you use match with the name on an official Gov't ID such as SSN, passport etc. Small changes such as alternate spellings, abbreviations, or use of middle name can throw off a search.

[Hane]

One of my high school classmates, a devout Jew, was widowed at about 50. She joined J-Date to meet guys. Many of them turned out not to be Jewish. (Happy ending: She eventually met her wonderful second husband, a rabbi, there.)