Introduce Yourself

[Hevcoh]

I'm 30, a gay man in a committed relationship for 9 years, 11 months and 2 weeks. I was raised Catholic then ICoC then LDS by my adoptive family. I am now happily reunited with my bio family. I'm Jewish, probably not believing in G-d, raising 14 kids/young adults. 6 of my kids ended up in my home because they had to leave their Ultra-Orthodox families for one reason or another. I'm originally from Ireland and live in Israel. My partner is American.

I have a BA in Theology from a Christian college, and a BSc in applied linguistics. Currently I'm working on my MA in religious studies. I teach at a private school, and continue to help out at my dad's IT company as needed. My dream is to be a stay-at-home-lazy-bum and read all the books I can get my hands on, maybe write one or two. That, and going to rabbinical school. Because even atheist Jews need a rabbi.

[WokChop]

I'm 30, a gay man in a committed relationship for 9 years, 11 months and 2 weeks. I was raised Catholic then ICoC then LDS by my adoptive family. I am now happily reunited with my bio family. I'm Jewish, probably not believing in G-d, raising 14 kids/young adults. 6 of my kids ended up in my home because they had to leave their Ultra-Orthodox families for one reason or another. I'm originally from Ireland and live in Israel. My partner is American.

I have a BA in Theology from a Christian college, and a BSc in applied linguistics. Currently I'm working on my MA in religious studies. I teach at a private school, and continue to help out at my dad's IT company as needed. My dream is to be a stay-at-home-lazy-bum and read all the books I can get my hands on, maybe write one or two. That, and going to rabbinical school. Because even atheist Jews need a rabbi.

Wow! You have a very interesting background!

[MennoNotFundy]

All of the Mennonites I've ever known would never dress similar to the Duggar girls o.o They dressed like the Seven Sisters complete with homemade frumpers, white tennis shoes and lace head coverings. Are there different types of Mennonites or something?

Patriarchy: Perhaps I am not viewing patriarchy in the same way you are. What I meant was, in the home it is not all about the father. Girls accept dates without dad's permission. Guys propose marriage to women without father's prior permission (Her father's blessing is asked for after she says yes, and is usually given) Children are expected (encouraged) to grow up and be independent. If they continue to live at home into their 20s they are expected to help out and most pay "rent" or "room and board" and support themselves.

I do think there is more fundy influence among the mennonites in my circles in the last 20 years...and it is not a good thing. :(

I am not sure what modest dress has to do with patriarchy? But I am not here to argue. As an Mennonite and Anabaptist, I simply don't want to be called a Fundamentalist any more than a Methodist wants to be called a Pentecostal.

And yes, Mennonites do cover the spectrum in dress and lifestyle from horse-and-buggy Mennonites to mainstream groups you could never pick out of a crowd. Go to a grocery store in Ephrata, PA, and you will see them all if you stay long enough. My comments pertain to my own experience and people I know (some "plainer" than me, and some mainstream. I don't have any personal experience with horse-and-buggy Mennonites or Amish, other then seeing them out and about.

[deelaem]

Patriarchy: Perhaps I am not viewing patriarchy in the same way you are. What I meant was, in the home it is not all about the father. Girls accept dates without dad's permission. Guys propose marriage to women without father's prior permission (Her father's blessing is asked for after she says yes, and is usually given) Children are expected (encouraged) to grow up and be independent. If they continue to live at home into their 20s they are expected to help out and most pay "rent" or "room and board" and support themselves.

I do think there is more fundy influence among the mennonites in my circles in the last 20 years...and it is not a good thing. :(

I am not sure what modest dress has to do with patriarchy? But I am not here to argue. As an Mennonite and Anabaptist, I simply don't want to be called a Fundamentalist any more than a Methodist wants to be called a Pentecostal.

And yes, Mennonites do cover the spectrum in dress and lifestyle from horse-and-buggy Mennonites to mainstream groups you could never pick out of a crowd. Go to a grocery store in Ephrata, PA, and you will see them all if you stay long enough. My comments pertain to my own experience and people I know (some "plainer" than me, and some mainstream. I don't have any personal experience with horse-and-buggy Mennonites or Amish, other then seeing them out and about.

Being expected to dress modestly often means that women's bodies are inherently sinful and cause undue temptation to men. Therefore it is incumbent on the women to cover their "provocative" parts so as not to tempt the poor, weak men. And if a woman does not dress modestly, it must mean that she is impure.

There can be fundamentalism in any religion or school of thought. It does not automatically mean Christians like the Duggars. But you must admit that Anabaptists have some pretty dogmatic beliefs that do not allow much for tolerance of those that are different from them.

[MennoNotFundy]

Being expected to dress modestly often means that women's bodies are inherently sinful and cause undue temptation to men. Therefore it is incumbent on the women to cover their "provocative" parts so as not to tempt the poor, weak men. And if a woman does not dress modestly, it must mean that she is impure.

There can be fundamentalism in any religion or school of thought. It does not automatically mean Christians like the Duggars. But you must admit that Anabaptists have some pretty dogmatic beliefs that do not allow much for tolerance of those that are different from them.

I agree that there are fundamentalist Mennonites...I would probably call them legalists though.

I was never taught that women's bodies are inherently sinful, and I certainly don't believe that they are. And I sure don't believe that immodestly dressed women are impure! (They may or may not be, but that's between her and God, and it's not my right business to judge what's in someone else's heart.)

I do agree that we have some radical and unpopular beliefs. Very much so... and I am OK with that.

We are taught to go beyond tolerance and actually love those who are different (even those who mistreat us). One of the main tenets of the Anabaptist faith is non-resistance (turn the other cheek...go the second mile). An easy thing to talk about, much harder to do, I might add.

We (mennonites) do not shun.

Thanks for you interest.

[chaotic life]

Tried to read through the whole thread but it's just too damn long to do it.

I'm 35 yo female. RN, but been a SAHM since 1998 now. Got into fundieland through the Mennonite church I attended in college. Didn't finish my Bachelor's back then but did finish the associates in Nursing. Was fundie when most of my crew were little but started exiting when the SAHDaughter movement started gaining momentuem. Started exiting five years ago and have been FULLY out for three years now. I have nine children, five bios and four via adoption. I homeschooled all of the olders for years. I went back to school and finished my Bachelor's in Sociology last December. I am transitioning all of the kids out of homeschooling. This fall, I will have one homeschooler and one toddler. I will also be going back to work part-time and working to eventually become a Nurse Practitioner.

Sadly, we lost one of our nine children this summer and so I hang out to basically distract myself at the moment. My interest in the board came after exiting that world and choosing to look at it from a more sociological perspective than emotionally involved with it. I promise, I was never big time fundie. I was a very BAD fundie but was drawn to that world because it was the only acceptable world for large families. Now, I recognize that I have a large family simply because I love children and I was born to be a mother. I don't need a religious mandate to have children. I just need to view children with love, respect, and compassion and follow where my heart leads me as a mother (though I am most definitely DONE adding to my family now).

[MennoNotFundy]

Choatic, I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and comfort in the days and weeks and months ahead.

[deelaem]

Thanks for your interest.

You forgot to say "Bless your heart". :roll:

[MennoNotFundy]

You forgot to say "Bless your heart". :roll:

Sorry. Poor choice of words on my part. I meant no snarkiness.

[delilahdog11]

Regular, plain Jane here. Born & raised in Washington DC. Travelled to several third world countries in my youth as my dad worked at the State Department. In high school and during the first year of college. I was slowly getting sucked in and consumed by a very fundie-lite-lite cult. While at a secular college, (thankfully, my dad said, in no way, shape,or form was I going to waste my intelligence looking for a godly husband at a christian college), I stayed away from drinking, boys, non-believers, attended church regularly, guilt tripped about all my sins, spent time praying for a good christian husband,and organized bible studies and a mission trip. I also started wearing skirts and the occassional head covering at the urging of my mentor. Who also had me make a purity pack with her. I also worked as a Younglife leader so I could Shepard other kids to Christ.

As dyed in the wool science geek. I even didn't truly believe in the theory of evolution or that the dinosaur and human remains I went to look at least three times a year in The Natural History museum (my most favorite of all the Smithsonian museums since I had been a little girl) were fake, Satan used things like that as a trick., and carbon dating was false science. Then I took a comparative religions class, a mythology class as well, a special substance and all my doubts and questions about what I was being told about God finally made sense.

I had doubts not due to Satan but because I thought the whole lot of was a bunch of bullshit. My critical thinking skills had been trying to tell me this all along, but I thought that was the voice of Satan. It felt good to be freed!

The final nail in the coffin agaisnt christianity or the group I belonged to was when my mentor called my after the death of my best friend. I had not talked to her in years. Her actions and behaviors towards me had always been so Christ like. She took care of me, guided me, fed me, and clothed me better then my own mother. She took me when my own mother kicked me out. Found me jobs. Encouraged me to work hard at school and to go to college. She was close with my good friend. I thought it would be great to talk to her. I was wrong.

The first question out of her mouth, "Do you still accept Christ as your personal savior?"

My mom had told her I was living with a boy out of wedlock and had recently returned from spending at year working

at a Buddhist ashram. Hence, the question but I had no idea she knew all of that and even if I had. It wouldn't have made the question appropriate.

I remember trying to rush off the phone. She kept forcing the issue and wouldn't take no as an answer. I finally told her that I was dismissing the chance that Jesus MIGHT be the son of god, so I didn't want to discount my acceptance of him as my personal savior completely. A very small part of me still believes in hell. I havent been able to give up my get of hell free card. But Jesus Christ. I just wanted to mourn my friend and talk about our memories. Not have someone save me from hell.

Long, personal story but I thought theme was fitting with the FJ theme.

College: Mississippi, English & Pyschology degree. Currently seriously unemployeed, so I am not sure how much

those degrees are helping me? Have returned to school to major in math. Changed that to agricultural engineneering.

Newly married and I am up to my eyeballs in stress and confusion. Religion: none, philosophy I build my actions and thoughts around: Buddhism. Politically: socialist/libertarian.

Reside in Pittsburgh, recently married, marriage came with a speech delayed, most likely autistic, two year old who I adore and resent in equal measure. Well not him but his birth mother. Married my headship after six years of friendship and countless attempts at making sexy eyes at each other and one of us trying and failing to get the other one to sleep with us. I am sure the Maxwells would approve of our courtship and mating ritual. Prior to this. I had spent the past 11 or so years living on the Eastern shore of MD with my boyfriend of 10 yrs, who when he became my ex. I still spent the next 1.5 years living with him. I guess all that wait until marriage bullshit really sunk in. When living with boyfriend.

Almost got sucked into a neo pagan, earth religion cult. But once I disengaged with the core group of fundamentalist within the group. I was able to find my own spiritual belief and path.

So that is me. A two year old is raising me. Looking for work. Going to school. Cluster headache sufferer. Trying to feel safe in happiness instead of guilt and worry. Long winded talker. I think I now realize why when I post a reply the

thread just completely dies. Or I could be paranoid.

And I shouldn't call myself a thread killer. Been lurking since long ago. Finally, have the time and something to say, so I joined in the discussion finally. I post infrequently but when I do. I make about 5-10 posts at a time. I don't know what makes so interested in the world of extreme religion? But it fascinates to no end.

Greetings and hello

[BlueChair]

Regular, plain Jane here. Born & raised in Washington DC. Travelled to several third world countries in my youth as my dad worked at the State Department. In high school and during the first year of college. I was slowly getting sucked in and consumed by a very fundie-lite-lite cult. While at a secular college, (thankfully, my dad said, in no way, shape,or form was I going to waste my intelligence looking for a godly husband at a christian college), I stayed away from drinking, boys, non-believers, attended church regularly, guilt tripped about all my sins, spent time praying for a good christian husband,and organized bible studies and a mission trip. I also started wearing skirts and the occassional head covering at the urging of my mentor. Who also had me make a purity pack with her. I also worked as a Younglife leader so I could Shepard other kids to Christ.

As dyed in the wool science geek. I even didn't truly believe in the theory of evolution or that the dinosaur and human remains I went to look at least three times a year in The Natural History museum (my most favorite of all the Smithsonian museums since I had been a little girl) were fake, Satan used things like that as a trick., and carbon dating was false science. Then I took a comparative religions class, a mythology class as well, a special substance and all my doubts and questions about what I was being told about God finally made sense.

I had doubts not due to Satan but because I thought the whole lot of was a bunch of bullshit. My critical thinking skills had been trying to tell me this all along, but I thought that was the voice of Satan. It felt good to be freed!

The final nail in the coffin agaisnt christianity or the group I belonged to was when my mentor called my after the death of my best friend. I had not talked to her in years. Her actions and behaviors towards me had always been so Christ like. She took care of me, guided me, fed me, and clothed me better then my own mother. She took me when my own mother kicked me out. Found me jobs. Encouraged me to work hard at school and to go to college. She was close with my good friend. I thought it would be great to talk to her. I was wrong.

The first question out of her mouth, "Do you still accept Christ as your personal savior?"

My mom had told her I was living with a boy out of wedlock and had recently returned from spending at year working

at a Buddhist ashram. Hence, the question but I had no idea she knew all of that and even if I had. It wouldn't have made the question appropriate.

I remember trying to rush off the phone. She kept forcing the issue and wouldn't take no as an answer. I finally told her that I was dismissing the chance that Jesus MIGHT be the son of god, so I didn't want to discount my acceptance of him as my personal savior completely. A very small part of me still believes in hell. I havent been able to give up my get of hell free card. But Jesus Christ. I just wanted to mourn my friend and talk about our memories. Not have someone save me from hell.

Long, personal story but I thought theme was fitting with the FJ theme.

College: Mississippi, English & Pyschology degree. Currently seriously unemployeed, so I am not sure how much

those degrees are helping me? Have returned to school to major in math. Changed that to agricultural engineneering.

Newly married and I am up to my eyeballs in stress and confusion. Religion: none, philosophy I build my actions and thoughts around: Buddhism. Politically: socialist/libertarian.

Reside in Pittsburgh, recently married, marriage came with a speech delayed, most likely autistic, two year old who I adore and resent in equal measure. Well not him but his birth mother. Married my headship after six years of friendship and countless attempts at making sexy eyes at each other and one of us trying and failing to get the other one to sleep with us. I am sure the Maxwells would approve of our courtship and mating ritual. Prior to this. I had spent the past 11 or so years living on the Eastern shore of MD with my boyfriend of 10 yrs, who when he became my ex. I still spent the next 1.5 years living with him. I guess all that wait until marriage bullshit really sunk in. When living with boyfriend.

Almost got sucked into a neo pagan, earth religion cult. But once I disengaged with the core group of fundamentalist within the group. I was able to find my own spiritual belief and path.

So that is me. A two year old is raising me. Looking for work. Going to school. Cluster headache sufferer. Trying to feel safe in happiness instead of guilt and worry. Long winded talker. I think I now realize why when I post a reply the

thread just completely dies. Or I could be paranoid.

And I shouldn't call myself a thread killer. Been lurking since long ago. Finally, have the time and something to say, so I joined in the discussion finally. I post infrequently but when I do. I make about 5-10 posts at a time. I don't know what makes so interested in the world of extreme religion? But it fascinates to no end.

Greetings and hello

A socialist libertarian? :shock: I can see why you would be stressed and confused! That's a whole lot of cognitive dissonance right there.

Welcome :)

[Gil]

heyyy, look! I probably should have posted here. i'm Gil. I live and go to school in different parts of New England, and I'm a freshman at a women's college. I'm an agnostic, but raised Jewish, and in my later years went to a particularly strange Jewish synagogue (sex-separated services, kids carving shofars out of actual animal horns for craft time, etc.) I'm a vegetarian and a mom to a senior German Shepherd and a snarky tabby cat.

[Minerva]

A socialist libertarian? :shock: I can see why you would be stressed and confused! That's a whole lot of cognitive dissonance right there.

Welcome :)

I know a socialist libertarian IRL. He uses "libertarian" in a more general "I believe in liberty" sense, which is a valid definition according to him. Not sure if that's how deliahdog defines it for herself.

[Lillybee]

I posted an intro on the Yuku board but that was a while ago.

I am 60 plus, mom of three, divorced, retired social worker and an old hippie. I am very liberal and close to being agnostic despite being raised and spending 16 years in Catholic education. Born in NYC and stuck in Far Northern California.

My interest in the fundies started with the murder of Lydia Schatz who lived in a town close to me. I found more information on her life and death from Elizabeth Esther who had a link on her blog to a woman who lived near the family. This woman's first sentence was that "Lydia's smile could light up a room.". From there I started reading about the Pearls and the Duggars. I read all three threads on the Duggars on TWOP, found Razing Ruth there and made my way here.

So hello, all.

[sparkles]

Hi all,

I'm Rob (female), pushing 60, born and raised and seemingly forever stuck in suburban NY (Long Island). Married 31 years, mom to a 22YO daughter plus 1 dog and 4 cats. I've got some college behind me (quit when I realized that I was never going to be a geophysicist since I'm missing a math gene) so now I'm a veggie gardening, bread-baking, home canning graphic designer with an interest in photography. Raised in a very liberal household as a 3-day-a-year Jew, although I never bought into any of it and ended up telling the rabbi that I didn't believe in god and walking out of Hebrew school, never to return. The only lasting legacy from my Jewish upbringing is that I went to a Jewish summer camp that was much more interested raising awareness of social justice issues and liberal causes in our minds than it was in shoving religion down our throats (which would have gone down about as well as the bug juice and oatmeal spackle from the mess hall). I'm an avowed atheist married to an agnostic Catholic and together we managed to raise our daughter without any religious affiliation and she's turned out just fine, thank you very much. While I have no belief in god and no use for organized anything, I do wish I were a more spiritual person--not in a religious sense but more as a means of finding a connection and/or sense of peace with the world.

Anyway, I've always been fascinated by extremes (on all sides--even my mom's ultra-liberalism grates at times) and what drives people to them. I began reading up on fundamentalism a few years ago, via Karen Armstrong. After reading "Under the Banner of Heaven" I realized I knew very little about how far reaching the wacko cults in the US are and started looking further which is how I stumbled on the Duggar thread on TWOP. (I can't watch more than 5 minutes of the show without having to retrieve my eyeballs from the back of my head and shock myself out of a sugar coma, but I read every page of that damned thread and think I posted once or twice.) From there I discovered the Maxwells and I'm absolutely fascinated. I check their blog at least once a day, and I would love nothing more than to rescue Mary (who someone managed to emerge from her prolonged buck-toothed unibrow phase as quite a beautiful young lady) from Steve's clutches. I can't image what a suffocating existence it must be to grow up in that climate of fear, anger, isolation and soul-sucking uniformity. I knew of FJ from TWOP but never checked it out until it came up during a Maxwell Google.

Although I've officially come out of lurkdom, I'm much more of a reader than a poster (someone always seems to say what I wanted to before I get the chance) but I do chime in from time to time. Happy to "meet" you all and I look forward to many a lively discussion.

[Witsec7]

I must say welcome to all my sisters in their sixties. :D Feel free to slink into the old lady corner with me :lol:

[JLL]

Mid-forties, unrepentant gay male living in the buckle of the Bible Belt. One of my supervisors at my soul-crushing job is a quiverfull fundy. I got here by stumbling across Zsu's blog and it's like a wreck on the highway--I can't look away!

[Lillybee]

I must say welcome to all my sisters in their sixties. :D Feel free to slink into the old lady corner with me :lol:

Thank you, trying hard not to turn into a little old lady. I want to be the wise crone.

[RationalSquirrel]

I'm in my early 30s, live in San Francisco CA, childfree by choice, and have an MS in Engineering. I'm also married to a guy who was raised in a christian fundie cult. He and his brother left, physically, mentally and emotionally. His mom, dad and sister left only physically. Mentally and emotionally they are still drinking the kool-aid. They are also totally insufferable.

[Michael Mock]

Let's see: as far as FJ is concerned, I'm a newb and mainly a lurker. In real life, I'm a married father of two who's about to turn 40. What else? I work for a municipal government as a web designer (that's what a degree in English'll get ya), dabble in martial arts, and remain tragically unpublished as a fiction writer. In religious terms, I'm... not. What else? Oh, yeah: [link=http://nagamakironin.blogspot.com/2009/07/more-about-me.html]Aquarius, Year of the Ox, blood type A+[/link]. I'm considerably more interesting online than I am in person, but that may not be saying much.

Also, I'm occasionally prone to using html tags when I should be using BBCode instead.

[Dollypeeps]

I was a stalker of the site for ages and ages then joined and lurked for a bit and occasionally posted. I have a degree in pyschology but for dogs. I got drawn in by the duggars when the specials where on and someone said she used blanket training which was abusive and I found a site she used but all reference to her vanished about what she did. I wanted to dismiss friend saying no way but it was true :shock: as I continued to watch I got angry cos she wasnt the one doing the rearing all she cared about was the next one sadly.

I'm Scottish and 46 and in a step family set up. I have 5 kids hubby has 5 kids. Not religious just interested in them, all kinds. I lived in sin for awhile as well before marriage.

[latraviata]

I must say welcome to all my sisters in their sixties. :D Feel free to slink into the old lady corner with me :lol:

Thank you!

Great idea, the old ladies corner we could call it 'Afterglow' or 'Twilight'??

This summer one of the Dutch telly stations are doing a rerun of 'The golden girls'.

After so many years I still enjoy it!

[JesusFightClub]

Socialist libertarian = anarchist. Over here, anyway ;)

[Gil]

I have a degree in pyschology but for dogs

aaaaand I think I have a girlcrush. That's fucking awesome!

[Angri-la]

Hello, my name is Angri-la, and I love Free Jinger too much.

Wait, oh, wrong thread. Excuse me.