Well this just isn't creepy at all... Raquel Interviews Men

[Olive Plant]

WTF?!?! Who on earth decided he was an appropriate person to work with sexual abuse survivors?

With the tomboy = abuse thing, I bet he was like, "these sexually abused women wear pants. Therefore, if you wear pants you were probably sexually abused."

Basic logic fail, honey.

[guidedbybobafett]

Ugh, unfortunately I'm pretty sure any woman who would willingly have sex with this mansplaining douchecanoe is gonna have a lot less self-esteem and self-worth than the ebul feminist man haters.

[Brittanicals6]

Idiotic to say that dressing less than girly is a sign of sexual abuse. I was abused, and I am known for my collection of peasant skirts and embroidered shawls. That whole statement pissed me of, because it was offered up with no sense of compassion or sympathy, like a check marked sign into someone's psyche. Cold.

Edit for auto correct being stupid

[chaotic life]

He thinks he's a FEMINIST???? I don't think that word means what he THINKS it means. Actually, I KNOW it doesn't, but I'm not so sure HE knows that.......

Creepy, creepy, creepy.

[Sky_Diamond]

He seems to put such blame on women for any of his sexual issues (women draw him in sexually and then reject him because there is something wrong with them, it couldn't be him who has the problem) that I can't imagine him treating sexually abuse women well.

I do have to wonder if Miss Raquel jumped on the help sex slaves bandwagon because she had a crush on him. It really seems like she is doing thi

I can see them getting together. In her world he will be her husband. In ours he would be the first boyfriend that you love thought would be your Prince Charming then realises he is an arrange prick when he breaks your heart. But in five years you vaguely remember him and realise that your life is so much better without them even being single.

I feel very sorry for her. She is clearly bright. Admittedly self obsessed but she is a teenager. She should be on creative writing course in a liberal small UNi.

[DefraudedbyGothard]

I definitely want to commit time before we kiss, and to hold to that commitment. I asked a married couple why they waited until their wedding day to kiss. She said, “It wasn’t about morality – it was a practice to see if he could lead me in self-control.â€

This is sick and weird. I can't get it out of my mind.

His film sounds like he is ripping off Half the Sky and it's christian counterpart Half the Church. The main page of that website makes all these statements about helping victims to heal. I really wonder if they have the REAL resources to help these victims. These women need safe places, the full spectrum of medical care and education to make a life for themselves. (OMG did I say education) I seriously think it is a vanity piece of film to make people think they are sooo compassionate and godly. This kind of self aggrandizement makes me very angry. Creep, Jerk, Sicko.

[slh12280]

Leading someone else in self control? haha. Isn't the key word here, self?

What a feminist this guy is. You can still have your own opinions as long as they match MY opinions. Out of all the guys she has interviewed I wouldn't want one of them. They are too young for one thing but even if they were older I couldn't be married to men with those opinions.

[Hane]

All this high-flown drivel about modesty and theology and emotional purity--and then he throws in that bit about wanting a woman with a "smokin' hot body." One of these things is not like the others, you fucking douchebag.

[lilith]

I think Miss Raquel is playing with fire.

Because of the way she markets her website, she makes herself out to be way more conservative and fundie than she actually is. And she feels like she has to keep bolstering that image by saying the right words about courtship, purity etc.

She is also obviously in love with the idea of being in love and is ready for a sexual relationship.

She's going to fall for the first guy she can pin her fantasies on , and fall hard, but cause her fantasies are all phrased in the language of courtship and purity and guarding your heart, she's likely to fall for a guy who is far more conservative than she is, an outright fundie more than a fundie lite. And cause she's written all this crap about letting a husband mould and shape her, a more conservative man will have every reason to think that she'll make a good submissive fundie wife.

By the time she's sick of playing house and playing wife she'll have a few kids and be firmly ensconced in a church and social group for whom divorce is unthinkable, and she won't even be able to think about all her ambitions and dreams cause she'll only be allowed to be a wife and mother.

[LostSamurai]

Oh honey no. Just no.....

If wearing pants means that a woman has been sexually abused, then according to him, I'm a Sandusky victim because I wear jeans pretty much all the time.

[NoQuiverNoCry]

It is, for some reason the screen kept messing up and I couldn't get it to go in italics.

Even creepier, after writing stuff like that, he works with women who have been sexually abused. :(

[shudder]

Dare I ask, in what capacity does he work with these women?

[JesusFightClub]

Small is convinced she's a boy. There's no sexual abuse involved. She wants to be a boy because "boys play for Chelsea."

She has two very strong talents, sports and art. She thinks, due to the patriarchal nature of our society "ladies don't do that". Hence, she must be a boy. Because she's good at those things and ladies aren't, are they?

When I was little, I was the same but for different reasons. I was never bothered with dolls in the slightest. Again, nothing to do with sexual abuse at that age. My favourite toy was a replica Uzi and I wanted to join the army :lol: My mum used to buy me dolls and look hopefully at me and say "Isn't she LOVELY, JFC?" I was all like "Thanks Mum. You know Ross made me second in command of the gang now? Cause we fought the bottom of the street lot." :lol: :lol: :lol:

(Two gangs in our road. I was top of the street second in command and chief of strategy. We fought two other gangs, bottom of the street and next road along. Ah, childhood ;))

But seriously what has this to do with sex? It's just not all girls are girly girls. I grew up with an abiding interest in political violence and a secondary interest in firearms. Small, I suspect, will grow up obsessed by football (she sleeps with a football held in her arms.). Neither of us has ever been raped. I've had a wee bit of trouble, but I wasn't a girly girl beforehand.

I wish people would stop trying to fit all women into the same box. Women are women even if they aren't "girly". I shave my head, don't wear skirts, can spot makes of gun in a heartbeat and read books on the IRA and INLA and stuff on the dissident movements. Small says "I think I am a boy" wants to shave her head like me (because she wants to play for Chelsea) and getting her to remove her Chelsea strip is a long task.

However Smaller, if you asked her what her two favourite things are, would give you a bright smile and say "Cat! Granma's cat! And doll!" She falls asleep hanging on to "Granma's cat" who peacefully puts up with it.

Women go across the spectrum. We're all still female.

[Anne Tudor]

He only said one thing in his whole "interview" where I got any kind of sense of him at all. When he was talking about having to kill the romanticism out of himself when he was a KID because it "got him in trouble". Which made me sad, what kind of trouble? Romanticism got you in trouble?When you were a kid? HOW? I wish Raquel had turned Oprah on his ass right then and gotten some damn answers. Everything else was just patriarchy propaganda bullshit requiring no critical thinking skills whatsoever. Blah Blah Smokin' Hot Bod. Blah Blah love your Mother. They may as well just hand out a brochure. They all say the same thing. I'm not worried about Raquel. Miss Raquel is going to get exactly whom she deserves.

[clarinetpower]

We interrupt this thread to share some news: THIS JUST IN.

You can now buy pint glasses with God's Daughter on them. Yes, even in the description, they allude to beer drinking out of red solo cups. Pound a porter with Miss Raquel! Drink a Doppelbock out of her lovely, swirly designed glassware! Sip a Shandy with the Authoress herself!

Check them out here: http://www.cafepress.com/godsdaughter.623181340

Please return to your previous snarkage.

[kitkat]

It could be that Small is a girl, and this is just a phase, but you should also be prepared for the possibility that Small is insisting that she is a boy because he is a boy.

[mockingbird]

I have just the song for him!

7UUPawNC5Lg

But yeah, the line about falling in love with her mother before the girl is just gross. I'm going to just go with the idea that he likes older women (the whole "MILF" trend someone else mentioned) and he needs a fundy way to express this. Otherwise... no.

Also creeped out that he works with sexual assault victims :?

[JesusFightClub]

It could be that Small is a girl, and this is just a phase, but you should also be prepared for the possibility that Small is insisting that she is a boy because he is a boy.

If that happens, I'm OK with that too. It will just be the nature of her/him. I will be happy with Small if she turns out to be a bloke or a lassie ;) Can't imagine not being.

I get fed up with her now and again but I never stop loving her in the slightest. If that came to pass it would in no way diminish my love and respect for her choices.

I suspect it won't, but if it did all it would do was change beloved niece into beloved nephew. I know that sounds Hallmark card levels of cheesy, but I just do love her, and if she decided later on she wasn't happy where she was, I would support her.

[Sola]

It's quite obvious he thinks Raquel is after him too, from some hints he drops...good luck with that, buddy.

Actually I think Raquel is rather desperate for a "Godly" man.

[lilith]

Actually I think Raquel is rather desperate for a "Godly" man.

Yeah, I think Raquel is so into the idea of love and full of frustrated teen hormones she will court the first decent looking "godly" young man who asks, get engaged almost instantly, marry in haste and have a large 8 month premie.

That's why it concerns me that she spouts the fundie party line so much when she's obviously not really that conservative. She could easily wake up one day when the endorphin rush fades to find herself "unequally yoked" to a man who is far more of an extremist than her, but having married him full of romantic ideas about weak females submitting to a strong man, she'll be stuck in a church that won't allow divorce and will "counsel her to submit".

[Sky_Diamond]

Yeah, I think Raquel is so into the idea of love and full of frustrated teen hormones she will court the first decent looking "godly" young man who asks, get engaged almost instantly, marry in haste and have a large 8 month premie.

That's why it concerns me that she spouts the fundie party line so much when she's obviously not really that conservative. She could easily wake up one day when the endorphin rush fades to find herself "unequally yoked" to a man who is far more of an extremist than her, but having married him full of romantic ideas about weak females submitting to a strong man, she'll be stuck in a church that won't allow divorce and will "counsel her to submit".

She reminds me so much of a person trapped in a single sex school. Repressed trapped and as John Suchet observed doomed to believe that your first relationship will be the one.

[lilith]

She reminds me so much of a person trapped in a single sex school. Repressed trapped and as John Suchet observed doomed to believe that your first relationship will be the one.

And on top of that she's got her family and church telling her that that first relationship MUST be the one (and only).

[Sky_Diamond]

And on top of that she's got her family and church telling her that that first relationship MUST be the one (and only).

With the example of her mum who believes the secret to a good marriage is to be subservient to her headship (husband). Bye bye writing, hello raising too many kids :(. I hope he at least lets her complete some of her bucket list.

[lilith]

With the example of her mum who believes the secret to a good marriage is to be subservient to her headship (husband). Bye bye writing, hello raising too many kids :(. I hope he at least lets her complete some of her bucket list.

He'll probably tick a few off to impress her (and get in her pants) while they're courting. After marriage (or he knocks her up, same thing really, once he's sure of her) - not a chance judging by the douches she features on her blog.

[moodygirl86]

Honestly JFC, the childhood you describe could have been mine! My mum went into overkill with the pink frills/dolls etc when I was a little girl and I think the fact that she had three boys made her even more hardcore than she would've been. But having only brothers made me aware of this unconscious sexism before I even knew there was a word for it, and I rebelled against it; partly for the hell of it as kids do, but mostly because I've never been a naturally girly girl, and resented being expected to behave a certain way simply because of something I had no control of. And yet, in a lot of ways, my mother is the most feminist woman I know. She raised us single handedly, and explained to me the importance of voting even before I'd started secondary school. She also told me why I must never rely on a man for anything, or let anyone tell me that only men can do this, that or the other. But regarding the clothes issue, I think she was glad to have raised more of a tomboy when I hit puberty (which is another pet hate of mine - some people's idea that being a tomboy is "just a phrase" and the girl will "grow out of it". It's not a sign of immaturity, you know!)

A couple of years ago, I had a woman try to hang the "sexual abuse" thing on me. I'd been coming home from a night out - it was about one o'clock in the morning - and I spotted her in tears, running away from some man. I asked her if she was OK, and she said she was. I didn't really think any more of it, but I bumped into her a couple of weeks later one afternoon, as I was on my way home from work. I remember it was a nice warm August day, and she was sitting by the reservoir which I have to walk past. She shouted me over and said she wanted to thank me for my concern the other week. She explained she'd had to fight off this man who she thought was going to rape her, and that she hadn't seen him since. She asked me to stay and have a drink with her, so we bought some beers from a nearby shop and sat in the sun, just chatting about this and that. We got talking about bands, music and stuff, which led her to ask me about my appearance. I'm 5'7, short spiky black hair (though naturally blonde), lip ring and lots of black eye make-up. (I'd prefer not to wear make-up at all, but I do look like a bit of a ghost without it). I'm quite skinny, although with 34DD boobs, which I prefer to camouflage with baggy jumpers and shirts. I only ever wear jeans, or plain trousers if I'm at work, and only ever wear flat, comfortable footwear. Anyway, this woman clocked my pale eyebrows, and realised what my natural hair colour was. She gave me a real lecture about "why do you young girls have to disrespect yourselves like that? Be happy with what God gave you!" I just explained I've been into goth/punk fashion ever since high school, and it's now somewhat of a hobby. She didn't believe me at all, and kept insisting I must have been abused as a child. Of course, when I explained this wasn't the case, she insisted it was nothing to be ashamed of. (I was somewhat amused by this, as I'm probably the least self-blaming person ever. If anyone treats me badly in any form, I'm the person shouting it from the rooftops, complaining to management, dialling 999, writing to my MP, generally refusing to keep quiet about it.) Anyways, it took me half an hour to convince her she was wrong, and finally placated her with the assurance that if anything like that did happen to me, I wouldn't be ashamed to talk about it, but nothing like that ever had. I also told her I was sorry she'd been victimised and that I hoped she could heal from it. It was a weird afternoon for me, put it that way! I walked away from that conversation having enjoyed putting the world to rights, but also kind of saddened that anyone should have to go through the kind of experiences that make them think the worst. And I dread to think what must make this fundie bloke think like that...

Thank you to anyone who has managed to read all of the above without falling asleep! I even annoy myself at times...

[Sky_Diamond]

He'll probably tick a few off to impress her (and get in her pants) while they're courting. After marriage (or he knocks her up, same thing really, once he's sure of her) - not a chance judging by the douches she features on her blog.

Isn't her douce ness down to her immaturity and not having a creative writing teacher who critiques her arrogant twaddle and helps her find her potential and insists she reads real well written fiction?

And the bucket list totally agree she needs to paint her nails ASAP.