Forgiven former feminist

[emmyfair]

I am currently home with my children. I have yet to meet the hoards of feminists that hate me and think I am a lower form of life for it. I am also a feminist.

That ebil university education of mine gave a leg up on critical thinking skills that really helped me to start working from home. I have three small children six and under, I can cook, sew, knit, grow stuff in dirt, and keep the house reasonably clean. Here's the shocker here for the little miss - when I wasn't being bounced around from relative to relative growing up, I was raised in a single parent family. My Mom had some heartbreaking issues to deal with, so I ran the house, went to high school, raised my brother, took violin lessons, and worked 30+ hours a week at a health food store. Was it ideal? Not at all, but the point is, if I could run a bloody house at 15, what the hell is wrong with her at 23? I think she's left the safety of school, and has cold feet about the big bad world. If this isn't a troll, this is someone who has been beyond sheltered, and really, the best soloution for her it to put on those big girl panties and grow up.

[luckystone]

No, workplaces are still way too centered on the outmoded idea that all households have an adult who stays home and runs it. This attitude in the workplace actually hurts both men and women, and lack of adequate childcare and other resources only hurt workers, both male and female, who have children.

Exactly - but these women see it as a "oh I must not work and have kids" rather than "I must push and pressure for better and more supportive workplaces". Many jobs around my area offer flexitime as a standard, there are also jobs that are relaxed about personal leave for children, others are liking the idea of time-sharing jobs for parents so they have more time. Paid and unpaid parental leave is being expanded in a lot of countries. Seeing as most people have kids and pretty much everyone has families, it's in the interests of workplaces to start accepting that and working with them, rather than pretending you have your work and your life is something outside and unrelated that you can ignore.

I know mothers who have made a personal difference to these sorts of things e.g. one who asked for a breastpumping room and to her surprise got it. Small steps but it's certainly better than whining and giving up work.

[YPestis]

If a girl can't cook or sew, I don't see how that's the fault of feminists. It seems someone dropped the ball and forgot to teach her! I mean, it almost makes more sense to me that a working mother would mean her kids had to learn to cook and clean to help with the household chores! *sigh* If a girl didn't learn to cook at age 23, she can learn now. If she can't sew a button, it's not rocket science, just youtube it.

I admit that my mom did not put high priority on teaching me to cook or sew even though she was more than proficient in both. However, her opinion was if she can raise a smart daughter, I can pick it up when I need to. She figured it was harder to pick up a college degree or good study habits and so made sure I understood the importance of those things growing up. To this day, I am still a bad cook but I have never starved. If this lady is as smart as she claims to be, teaching herself to cook and sew should take much less effort than her college degree.

[Hane]

Didn't MamaJuneBug once mention that her father told her NOT to major in home ec, but in some other more academic field, because she "could learn to cook and sew on her own"? She obviously managed to, and she's one of my fellow sexagenarians here.

I'd also like to know what kind of 21st-century college education teaches people to "spew dates" as a primary focus. I call BS on this woman's entire persona.

[pimpom]

"The fundie way seems like it is kinda an either / or thing about every thing. Can't combine the two (homemaking and college) as it doesnt fit with their world view. Other people have to be wrong so the fundies can be more right. "

QFT

[stairway to heaven]

My late wife had a law degree from a very prestigious college and when we were first married she was the General Counsel for a very large international corporation. She worked at a fabric store when she was in high school and would sit at a sewing machine the night before Halloween and crank out these unbelievably unique costumes for our kids. She was and incredible cook and taught Sunday School as well. She was a liberal as well as a feminist and was very conscious of the women who fought to give her the opportunities she had. She was also the smartest person I ever met and saw her chew up and spit out Conservative/religious nut jobs more than once.

[penguinagogo]

hmm

I can see how an arrogant and lazy teen might get away without learning things by labelling them as beneath her

and then have some sort of blame storm when she has to move out and realises that theres no housework fairy and part of being a grown up is the ability to look after yourself, feed self etc, so she flip flops to the next extreme position - from 'Im not interested/nothing to do with me'to 'OMG you all failed me by not teaching me'.

this makes me wonder who sewed on buttons and boiled eggs, and did all the basic tasks while she was a child and managed to learn nothing either by observation or assistance?

[MamaJunebug]

Didn't MamaJuneBug once mention that her father told her NOT to major in home ec, but in some other more academic field, because she "could learn to cook and sew on her own"? She obviously managed to, and she's one of my fellow sexagenarians here.

I'd also like to know what kind of 21st-century college education teaches people to "spew dates" as a primary focus. I call BS on this woman's entire persona.

Hane! Wavin' at ya over my shopping cart of Centrum Silver, Loving Care and Probiotic Yogurt!!! :D

It's funny you mention Big Daddy JB because I was just reminiscing about that. He actually forbade me from Home Ec as a high school elective. If only woodshop had been an option for gals in the 1960s.

Back on-topic, one has to wonder who's really being impressed by these screeds revolving around sad graduate co-eds who are starving for lack of boiled eggs and spending all their money at Starbucks for want of knowing how to heat water or find the coffeemaker's "on" button.

Certainly none of my children or their friends give such essays any attention at all, even though the writers supposedly are their contemporaries, 20- and 30-something college graduates (2- or 4-year), scrabbling for work to pay the rent/mortgage.

Who are these essays aimed at? Parents of pre-teens who are debating whether their children's futures will include post-secondary education?

Do any folks of color pay attention to the sad tales? I know poor folks and middle-class folks who are of Native and of African descent; all of them, and their children, knew how to make breakfast for themselves and sometimes their families (think, Mother's Day Breakfast in Bed) by the time they were 9 or 10, absolute tops.

Most of them have post-secondary educations and plan the same for all their kids, whether that means four-year college or vocational training.

Shoot, I know a couple wealthy European-descended families, the above facts apply!

So who are these essays intended to impress? Or - and this just occurred - are the essays out there, en masse, to give ultra-conservatives and dominionists straw men/women to point to, in their own monologues??????

"Brethren, you can find dozens, dozens I tell you!!!! of stories out there on the gawdless internet of poor, starving women who have an education but were found in the nick of time in the fetal position, a carton of rotted eggs and an empty saucepan nearby .... but she had her education, friends! Oh, my heart aches, my tears flow!!!!! No education for wimmen!!!!! Men must rule!!!!!"

Back off-topic and on to me: I am a clothing construction autodidact. Yes: in college, when I should've been partying, instead I taught myself to sew. I made lined palazzo pants on a machine in my dorm at the university. I just remembered that!

Pass the gingko bilboa, will you, please, Hane? ;)

[formergothardite]

Not only am I a feminist who can boil and egg, I just finished canning beans, tomato sauce and salsa. Her being an idiot isn't the fault of feminists, it is her own.

[MonkeyMomma]

Not only am I a feminist who can boil and egg, I just finished canning beans, tomato sauce and salsa. Her being an idiot isn't the fault of feminists, it is her own.

QFT. Seriously. I can't get over this small part of the whole blog. If you're smart enough to graduate from college, get a Martha Stewart book from the library and work it out.

[LucySnowe]

I have a PhD and I can't plan a menu. I mean, I know that eating ice cream for dinner is not the most nutritious choice, and a lot of times it's *checks cupboard* 'Yeah, pasta sounds good....' but yanno, I eat nutritionally and I feed my husband* and we're all just fine.

*A hell of a lot better than he ate when he was single, let me tell you.

[Hane]

Hey, MamaJ!

QFT on every word you said. My daughter, as a teen, wasn't interested in anything beyond the rudiments of cooking and sewing, but managed to get by as a young adult. Now, in her 30s, she's expressed an interest in learning to make skirts and such.

[LucySnowe]

I'm calling troll.

http://forgivenformerfeminist.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/in-my-first-post-i-wrote-that-i-am-in.html

I was introduced to feminism by my academic adviser who suggested I enroll in a women’s studies class. I became a feminist, a staunch feminist. I mean to say that I was a bra-burning, man-hating, feminist. I read all the literature. I was a card-carrying member of NOW. I supported and took part in the NOH8 campaign. I volunteered at and donated money to Planned Parenthood. However, the harder I fought for the feminist cause the greater the ache in my soul became.

This is structured like classic propaganda. 'Someone who I trusted lured me in. I experienced a variety of bombastic cliches depicting my descent into evil. But all the while I knew I was wrong, and finally I gathered the strength to follow the path of truth.'

It is no longer the norm to assume that a woman is pro-family, in fact in our society it is expected that a woman is a feminist. If feminism was still an issue of equal pay for equal work or the right to vote I would have no problem with feminism. However, this is no longer the case. Feminism teaches women that the only path to happiness is through a high-powered career and that men are holding them back from our potential.

I'm guessing she flunked that women's studies class, because I know plenty of first-semester freshmenwimmin who could cut through this bunk. 'I read all the literature'? Really?

She went to Texas A&M and she makes it sound like she was captured by the Radical Lesbian cabal at Smith.

[MamaJunebug]

She went to Texas A&M and she makes it sound like she was captured by the Radical Lesbian cabal at Smith.

Lucy Snowe, I love you!

W a very motherly kinda love, of course! ;)

[penguinagogo]

I may be behind on things but why is she on a co.uk blogspot? if shes texan, went to uni in US and doesnt live in the uk? Unless shes doing some wierd rerouting thing?

[Wolfie]

Exactly - but these women see it as a "oh I must not work and have kids" rather than "I must push and pressure for better and more supportive workplaces". Many jobs around my area offer flexitime as a standard, there are also jobs that are relaxed about personal leave for children, others are liking the idea of time-sharing jobs for parents so they have more time. Paid and unpaid parental leave is being expanded in a lot of countries. Seeing as most people have kids and pretty much everyone has families, it's in the interests of workplaces to start accepting that and working with them, rather than pretending you have your work and your life is something outside and unrelated that you can ignore.

I know mothers who have made a personal difference to these sorts of things e.g. one who asked for a breastpumping room and to her surprise got it. Small steps but it's certainly better than whining and giving up work.

I don't think that it will be fair unless they don't try to push the extra work off on those who don't have kids, OR, as in my case when I was having a disability flare up, have an attitude that those who have kids are due extra accomodations and those with a disability should just find another job. (this was coworkers with the attitude, NOT my superiors, luckily.) If they have more flex time and stuff it should be for all employees. As it is I pay the same for only my health insurance as those with a spouse and two kids. (they have to pay extra for more than two kids)

[LucySnowe]

Aww, MamaJunebug! I return your love with a respectful devotion appropriate to a Titus2 mentor. :D

I may be behind on things but why is she on a co.uk blogspot? if shes texan, went to uni in US and doesnt live in the uk? Unless shes doing some wierd rerouting thing?

Ah, I think that happens automatically. I'm in the UK and that's how the link shows up for me, so I didn't even think about that when I was copying/pasting. IIRC it become .ca for our friends in the Frozen North.

[Minerva]

So who are these essays intended to impress? Or - and this just occurred - are the essays out there, en masse, to give ultra-conservatives and dominionists straw men/women to point to, in their own monologues??????

It's all just a big circle jerk. Fundie speeches and essays exist to give other fundies things to be scared and angry about, or to fuel other fundies' speeches and essays. They also exist to suck in almost-fundies who were one scare away from being drawn in.

I was introduced to feminism by my academic adviser who suggested I enroll in a women’s studies class. I became a feminist, a staunch feminist. I mean to say that I was a bra-burning, man-hating, feminist. I read all the literature. I was a card-carrying member of NOW. I supported and took part in the NOH8 campaign. I volunteered at and donated money to Planned Parenthood. However, the harder I fought for the feminist cause the greater the ache in my soul became.

Also calling bullshit. She just name-dropped a bunch of things fundies hate regardless of whether they're even connected to feminism. Bra-burning? This isn't the 2nd wave, sweetie. And if you had actually taken a women's studies class, you'd know that feminists don't hate men. There is nothing about a women's studies class that even encourages hatred of men. "All the literature" would take at least a decade to get through. Nice try, Forgiven Former Feminist, but this story is made up.

[Burris]

Either lying for Jeebus or an inattentive flake - she seriously couldn't boil an egg? - that swings from one extreme to another rather than recognizing the existence of so many different points across the arc.

[amydamy]

How many people grow up in houses where kids are so free of responsibility that you have no idea how to do these elementary tasks like boil an egg or sew on a button? And if so, is that *really* the fault of feminism? Because my feminist housewife mother insisted that all of us who lived in the house, boys and girls, contribute to making the place run, so that by the time we left home we could do it on a smaller scale by ourselves. It seems like these women who pride themselves on their "servant's hearts" are more likely to take on all of the tasks rather than distributing them.

I'm no Martha Stewart but I figured out the more advanced cooking that I didn't learn at home by reading the directions. Ditto sewing, and I actually am quite good at that (for some reason I can't make the "follow the directions" thing work for knitting). With the help of the husband the house is clean. And I did this while getting an education which gave me the career so that I can pay someone else to launder and iron my shirts. Because, really, eff ironing.

That's how my brother and I were raised, we both learned how to cook , sew clean , garden , mow the yard, do repairs, take care of the pool, use basic tools. They also taught us how to go out and learn to do the crap we didn't know how to. My mom only knew basic sewing but she learned how to quilt with my brother and I since we were interested. I've never had anyone try to tell me cooking and cleaning is something lowly to be scorned. It's not fun but it's shit that needs to get down.

[amydamy]

hmm

I can see how an arrogant and lazy teen might get away without learning things by labelling them as beneath her

and then have some sort of blame storm when she has to move out and realises that theres no housework fairy and part of being a grown up is the ability to look after yourself, feed self etc, so she flip flops to the next extreme position - from 'Im not interested/nothing to do with me'to 'OMG you all failed me by not teaching me'.

this makes me wonder who sewed on buttons and boiled eggs, and did all the basic tasks while she was a child and managed to learn nothing either by observation or assistance?

I'm reading her older posts it wouldn't surprise me if she failed out of graduate school or was fired from her internship. She's currently working as a nanny but I didn't see anything that said what her degree is in. Her internship was at an art gallery so I'm guessing art. I wonder if she is angry since her degree didn't automatically land her the "high powered" career she felt she deserved at 23 and this is backlash.

[luckystone]

I may be behind on things but why is she on a co.uk blogspot? if shes texan, went to uni in US and doesnt live in the uk? Unless shes doing some wierd rerouting thing?

I'm pretty sure blogspot addresses now redirect to where the reader is. All mine appear as .com.au even for fundies in the USA. So copying pasting from the UK would do that.

[Lala29]

I'm reading her older posts it wouldn't surprise me if she failed out of graduate school or was fired from her internship. She's currently working as a nanny but I didn't see anything that said what her degree is in. Her internship was at an art gallery so I'm guessing art. I wonder if she is angry since her degree didn't automatically land her the "high powered" career she felt she deserved at 23 and this is backlash.

I agree with both of you. I've been to school with a handful of blowhards like her, who build themselves up (I iz so smartz!!11!) but when I was helping them edit papers... :shock: All of them did know how to boil an egg, though.

She's a perfect example of 'a little knowledge can be dangerous'. She has a little idea of what a high paying position involves, a little knowledge of what raising children entails, and then she runs with it. She compares her reality of being paid to take care of children for a set period of time to actually PARENTING them. Yea, not the brightest bulb.

[Anise]

Wow, it's so obviously made up. It's the epitome of all the myths fundies hold about feminism and university. :doh:

Also, funny how the fundies are so obsessed with Planned Parenthood as if it were the only organization a feminist could donate to.

[LucySnowe]

Today, fakeformerfeminist wants to tell us about words:

Today I want to write about words. “Words†is a bit vague in introductions I suppose, however words are weighing heavily on my heart today. Not words in the written sense , because being a writer, I can write all day long.

http://forgivenformerfeminist.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/a-pleasant-word.html