Forgiven former feminist

[luckystone]

My law degree and I just took 5 minutes to repair a huge tear in one of my work shirts. I instantly thought of this thread and decided to come here to point out this girl is doing life wrong.

[Guest Anonymous]

If you had stayed at home sewing, instead of going to law school, that repair would have taken 3 minutes!

[Talitha Cumi]

I'm a feminist. I have two graduate degrees. I have a full time job, while my husband stays home. We have no children. I can do the following:

Cook a Thanksgiving dinner solo

Sew a dress without a pattern

Knit a sock

Spin wool into yarn

Crochet a doily

Play the violin

Play the drums

Write a gay romance novel

Write a song

Change a tire

Bake bread from scratch without commercial yeast

Sing a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta

Make a necklace

Draw a picture

Punch someone in the face

Make my own laundry soap

Kill a cockroach

I have a collection of mortars and pestles. I have a full back tattoo. I have near-waist-length hair. Today I am wearing an ankle-length skirt and a shawl I knit myself. I am the boss of men. I am a teacher of men and women. This weekend, I will make naan with ghee that I made myself, and hummus with tahini made from sesame seeds I toasted and ground myself. I will go to my sister's baby shower and give her a baby dress I knit myself. I will meet with my knitting group and spin yarn. I will write on my current gay romance story. I can do all these things, and I am a fucking feminist.

[treemom]

If my son reaches adulthood and can't boil an egg or sew on a button I failed somewhere along the way. And it wasn't by being a feminist

[FundiesInMyFamily]

There used to be a show on Food Network called "How to Boil Water". There are tons of beginner cookbooks. Not having any interest in cooking is just fine, some people don't, but stamping your feet and crying because you can't cook is just assinine, lazy, and stoopid.

[keen23]

Lucy Snowe, I love you!

W a very motherly kinda love, of course! ;)

Hey, those Smithies know how to party! (I went to UMass Amherst and had the opportunity to hang out with the lovely womyn of Smith on more than one occasion)

[YPestis]

My mother never paid much attention to teaching me "womenly" skills. She always said I can learn to cook and sew at any point but getting an education was not something I can "make up" as an adult. For all those fundies that like to make fun of my lack of housekeeping skills, I would point out I learned to cook passably and plan meals in a few short months and I can learn to sew a button after a few tries but can you go through college in that time? Or manage COPD? Learn to prescribe antibiotics in a few weeks? I can make up for my deficiencies fairly quickly and minimal disruption to my life. Most fundie girls, with their "phd in homemaking" would take years to catch up with what I can do. I don't want to denigrate housekeeping skills but those are skills that most people can and do learn as they go about their daily lives. Studying and building a career is not something one can do on the side. Why can't fundie women see people can do both successfully?

[slickcat79]

Most fundie girls, with their "phd in homemaking" would take years to catch up with what I can do. I don't want to denigrate housekeeping skills but those are skills that most people can and do learn as they go about their daily lives. Studying and building a career is not something one can do on the side. Why can't fundie women see people can do both successfully?

I have an issue with the fact that, even though they're supposed to devote their lives to being a SAH wife and mother, supposed to develop all these fantastic Proverbs 31 homemaking skills...most of them still suck at that stuff. What kind of cooks will the Duggar/Bates/Keller kids be when they were raised on chickenetti and TTC? Katy at the Little White House blog wrote a story about how she didn't know you couldn't put dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher. She flooded her whole kitchen with suds and her husband had to clean it up. Abigail the narcissist blew her entire month's grocery money on concession stand food and a toy for one of her kids because her homemaking skillz apparently don't run to household budgets. Zsu posts pics all the time of her kids and her house in an absolutely filthy state, nvm the crap she fills their minds with. Most of the QF types have so many kids they can't relate to any of them on an individual basis and, after a certain point, invest almost nothing in child-rearing. Then there's the SOTDRT :roll:

There are a lot of really good SAHMs out there. Leave it to the heathens to beat the fundies at their own game.

[LadyBlue]

I'm a feminist. I have two graduate degrees. I have a full time job, while my husband stays home. We have no children. I can do the following:

Cook a Thanksgiving dinner solo

Sew a dress without a pattern

Knit a sock

Spin wool into yarn

Crochet a doily

Play the violin

Play the drums

Write a gay romance novel

Write a song

Change a tire

Bake bread from scratch without commercial yeast

Sing a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta

Make a necklace

Draw a picture

Punch someone in the face

Make my own laundry soap

Kill a cockroach

I have a collection of mortars and pestles. I have a full back tattoo. I have near-waist-length hair. Today I am wearing an ankle-length skirt and a shawl I knit myself. I am the boss of men. I am a teacher of men and women. This weekend, I will make naan with ghee that I made myself, and hummus with tahini made from sesame seeds I toasted and ground myself. I will go to my sister's baby shower and give her a baby dress I knit myself. I will meet with my knitting group and spin yarn. I will write on my current gay romance story. I can do all these things, and I am a fucking feminist.

I'm in awe. Mostly because I'd like to do more making things myself, but I have the memory of a gnat and the attention span of one too. I get distracted and never "have time" to do everything I want. Although I'm sure I'd get more done without the 6 month old & hopefully will once he's less clingy.

I am a feminist and have a (useless) English degree. I can knit (current project is making Christmas stockings for everyone) and have made sourdough from scratch, but I always end up killing my starters after a couple loaves. I've made my own yogurt (but I'm the only one who likes it) and my own instant oatmeal. If I wanted to can, my mom would tell me everything I've forgotten from when I used to help her. I've been known to sew things, but only if I have a really detailed instructions in plain English, preferably with pictures, because for some reason I can't wrap my brain around pattern speak. I've made a few really nice, sturdy baby carriers (mei tais, if anyone cares) & prefold cloth diapers + covers. I would LOVE a loom, but they're very expensive and take up a lot of space.

I've got 4 boys and they're well spaced so each got a chance to actually be the baby & my body got to recover. I don't work right now, but I'm sure I will once the youngest is a bit older & I can find something. I'm teaching my boys to cook & clean, although I'm sure I could/should do more in that department.

I really don't get this bizarre belief that feminism = unable to do basic household tasks & child care. She doesn't call herself one, but even my mother, the Queen of all that is crafty & home makery (she even has a Home Ec degree, for pete's sake) is a feminist. She worked when I was growing up in the 70's and early 80's (until I hit grade 7 she made sure it was jobs she'd be home when we were done school, though) and at age 65, she's taking a law degree by correspondence.

[treemom]

Being a talented cook and boiling an egg are so far apart I think one is a life skill.

[desertvixen]

I have an issue with the fact that, even though they're supposed to devote their lives to being a SAH wife and mother, supposed to develop all these fantastic Proverbs 31 homemaking skills...most of them still suck at that stuff. What kind of cooks will the Duggar/Bates/Keller kids be when they were raised on chickenetti and TTC? Katy at the Little White House blog wrote a story about how she didn't know you couldn't put dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher. She flooded her whole kitchen with suds and her husband had to clean it up. Abigail the narcissist blew her entire month's grocery money on concession stand food and a toy for one of her kids because her homemaking skillz apparently don't run to household budgets. Zsu posts pics all the time of her kids and her house in an absolutely filthy state, nvm the crap she fills their minds with. Most of the QF types have so many kids they can't relate to any of them on an individual basis and, after a certain point, invest almost nothing in child-rearing. Then there's the SOTDRT

This, QFT, repeatedly.

[AmericanRose]

It seems to me like there's always an extreme - they can't just be religious, they have to be fundie.

They can't just be a feminist, they have to "abjure all things feminine".

[sassy sangria]

Blog - forgivenformerfeminist.blogspot.co.uk

Not seen this blog before on here.

"Housewife has always been a dirty word for me. There was no better way to make me really angry than to say that a woman’s place was in the home. In fact, I went the opposite direction entirely and joined the feminist front. There I was taught to abjure all things feminine, especially domesticity. We were taught that working in a home was beneath you, in fact there isn’t much lower in the mind of many feminists. Being a woman who stays at home with her children is for lazy women who can’t do anything else. Unfortunately, that mantra was pretty well embedded in my mind."

"I am 23 years old and at a serious disadvantage. I went to college, I am well educated. I can regurgitate important dates from wars across the globe and through time, but I can’t boil an egg. I can write a 50 page paper over the symbolism in medieval artwork but I can’t sew a button on a shirt. I can be the floor supervisor of a restaurant but I don’t know how to plan a menu for the week."

" I am a forgiven feminist. This means that at one point in my life I fully bought into the feminist ideology. Although the basic idea behind feminism is a good one (equality in voting, wages, and employment opportunities) the spinoff of this good idea is dark and ugly. The idea of equality has morphed into a desire to not only make women equal to men, but to actually make women into men. Women are encouraged to seek out high powered careers and to put having a family on hold, if not altogether removing that possibility. Feminism has taught women that we need to reject the traditional feminine roles because they are constricting. Feminism teaches that women are being forced into a role of unnatural submission by men. They also claim that Christianity is just a means of keeping women in their place. (You can read more about the history of feminism here!) This leads to an incredible amount of problems."

I am new to this site and to FFF, but I happened to stumble upon FFF by accident, and I am so sad that I did because I cannot honestly believe that this is a thing--that there are actual WOMEN who CHOOSE to identify as being "former feminists." I would rather keep my blinders on and pretend that my discovery never happened.

"The idea of equality has morphed into a desire to not only make women equal to men, but to actually make women into men."

Excuse me?! What gender studies class did this person take that taught this? Making women into men? What the hell does she mean? My guess is that she did not actually take any kind of gender studies course at all because she sounds like an uneducated idiot. I tried leaving comments on her page, but she has to approve all her comments (shutting down discourse much?), so I'm not sure she'll let them through. What is this "spinoff" that is so "dark and ugly"? Oh, you mean that we get to vote, get to pursue careers, get to have an education, get the right to divorce (and to communal property)??? Jesus Christ, I cannot with this woman. Also, I'm so thrilled that she is a teacher educating our youth. I would be ashamed. "I went to college, I am well educated." No, you are absolutely not.

"Women are encouraged to seek out high powered careers and to put having a family on hold, if not altogether removing that possibility." Um, who exactly is encouraging women to do this? Who is removing the possibility for women to have children and a family?

"Feminism has taught women that we need to reject the traditional feminine roles because they are constricting." Does anyone agree that they weren't? Isn't that why we have the 19th Amendment?

I really wish I could sit down and have a logical conversation with this woman, but it doesn't seem like she has the intellectual capacity to do so.

[J'ean Skirt]

Chalk me up as one of those feminists that can't boil eggs. I don't like eggs at all, so never learned to cook them. Hubs likes them now, but he's a perfectly competent cook and will boil himself eggs (or tell me what to do to boil them for him).

I can, however, make stock, puff pastry and custard from scratch. I bake us bread when I feel like it. I make a mean random "fridge" soup. I don't plan menus that far in advance, but we keep a rather stocked kitchen and one of us can usually make a very good dinner with just a few minutes work. An hour ago I decided I wanted to make stock, so I pulled out the frozen chicken bits (left over from cutting up and deboning chickens over the summer), tossed in a bunch of random veggies and it will simmer from now until 5 or so. Then I'll figure out what I have to put in it for a soup for dinner.

Oh, I work from home. But I'm a partner in the business. Enough of a business I've been able to do it for 10+ years now.

Yeah, I'm a feminist. But so is my husband and we're pretty happy. Even if I can't boil an egg.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I must be one of those ball-busting feminists because MrSquirrel does all of the sewing in this house. I can do it, but he's much better and faster, and it looks neater when he's done. Once when LittleSquirrel was with her grandparents, one of her stuffed animals got a small rip. She was very hesitant to let her grandma sew it because "Daddy can do it when I get home." :lol: She's gonna be a ball-buster too. Please pray for her.

Yeah, this woman is off her rocker.

[Trynn]

I don't understand the "feminism made me not learn how to cook or sew and therefore turned me into a man!" argument. Is the definition of woman "someone who cooks and sews buttons"?

Well, I don't COOK my buttons... ;)

I used to be able to boil an egg... then I went vegan and haven't done it since, but how hard can it be? You just stick an egg in some boiling water and wait a while.

I can agree that not knowing how to cook would be a disadvantage, but I think not having a university education is an even bigger one.