Lori Alexander 31: The Viral Godly Tudor

[Sarah92]

I find it annoying that they're assuming women breast feed in public for the attention. Are we really supposed to go around assuming the worst of people? Women have said their babies don't alway like covers. What are they supposed to do about that? Feed their child in a toilet? 

And it's a freaking boob, I've seen guys with bigger breasts then some women and we don't make them cover up at the beach. Yeah I get it breasts are supposedly sexual but If you're getting aroused by a woman breastfeeding that is entirely your problem. You're the one not turning away from lust. You're sexualizing a non sexual moment.

And those saying they don't pee or poop in public well great because it's not the same thing! One is releasing waste into the environment that could carry bacteria and the other if feeding a baby to keep it alive. Sooo yeah not the same thing. 

Geez these women 

[molecule]

I don't understand what they consider "stumbling", anyway? Is it that a man has a brief, sexual thought? 
Or do they mean that men will see a breastfeeding woman and go home and masturbate? Are fundies really against masturbation to that extent? (And do they really think breastfeeding women are that hot, anyway? They generally look exhausted to me. I'd've thought more stumbling would occur when a man saw a pretty 20-year old)
I guess I don't understand what a "stumble" involves, exactly.
 

I've come to think it means this: if a man becomes aware of his penis in the presence of any woman who is not his wife, she has caused him to stumble. So every time I read about a high school girl who is sent home from school or prom because of a vague sense of being inappropriate, I assume that it means that a dad (or teacher or principal) is freaked out because he got a boner when he saw an underage girl.

[SuperNova]

Honestly, it feels like her blog is dedicated to responding to what she reads about herself here. She writes: 

"There must be a lot of smiles, hugs, and laughter in a home as well. If the home is somber and lacks joy, the children will grow up to be more attracted to the world and its ways, rather than to Christ. As parents, you need to show your children that living for the Lord is the very best thing in the world. They NEED to see your love, joy, and excitement for the Lord."

This sounds so artificial. Somehow I find it difficult to beleive that the cold and robotic Lori filled her home with love and laughter. Perhaps we have differing ideas of what that means.

She also takes the time to knock parents of only children:

"Selfishness never leads to happiness or contentment. This is why having large families is usually healthier for children. They learn to share and yield to others."

Thanks Lori. I'll let my only child, who reads to the blind and donates her time at a local charity, know that she would have been better off with 9 siblings.

[PennySycamore]

@older than allosaurs,  I love Carla Emery!  I'm sad that she died of a heart attack several years back.

 

The word "modesty" needs to be stricken from the language when referring to breastfeeding.  Mothers nursing their children are NEVER immodest however they breastfeed.  They can be all covered up or they can be stripped to the waist, but the act of nursing is not immodest: it is feeding and comforting a small child.  (I'd like for the phrase "whipping it out" to be stricken as well.)  La Leche League has always used the term discreet breastfeeding to refer to the mother's efforts to make nursing less noticeable whether by lifting her top, using a blanket, or wearing modified clothes.  Some in the breastfeeding advocacy community have argued that breastfeeding will never be normalized as long as women feel compelled to cover up when nursing. (Not trying to start a debate about breastfeeding, but I hope we can all agree that a woman should not feel shame when breastfeeding.)   

This in one more favorite videos:

Love that old lady (old meaning my age!) dancing with the milk jugs at breast level!

[usmcmom]

@Sarah92 said: And those saying they don't pee or poop in public well great because it's not the same thing! One is releasing waste into the environment that could carry bacteria and the other if feeding a baby to keep it alive. Sooo yeah not the same thing. 

Based on this spot-on explanation , I'd like to start a petition to keep Lori from blogging. She is doing nothing but releasing waste into the environment and that is not good for any of us. 

********

I actually see a fair number of breastfeeding moms in public. We live very close to a mall and the entrance I usually use is right by the play area. It is quite common to see young mothers feeding their babies while the older kids play. If I happen to catch the eye of a nursing mother I try to give her a smile. She does not need one more crabby old bitty judging her for feeding her child, covered or not. I have even been known to point out a nursing mother to USMCDAD!! Our son is a redhead so if I see a little red headed baby being nursed I'll be all excited and say "Oh look!! A little redhead like ours."  Or I'll see kicking feet or tiny hands stroking mommy's hair and just have to point them out because - OH MY GOSH - I love all the babeez and so does my husband and they make us happy. I have every confidence that my husband does not get turned on by seeing a complete stranger nursing a child. Because a child who is eating is just that...a child who is eating. 

Lori's kids are visiting this weekend. I have to wonder if her daughter or daughter in law has been breastfeeding in an unapproved manner, for us to get all this screeching about the topic all of a sudden. 

[smittykins]

OK Lori, so what are women who can’t have a second child(for example, they required a Caesarean hysterectomy)supposed to do?

[PennySycamore]

@usmcmom,  when I see a mom nursing in public, I almost always saw something like "That's so lovely" to them. Of course, I usually say something nice to moms of all little babies.  It's the grandma in me coming out!  I hope that no one is creeped out by that.

I mentioned La Leche League in my previous post.  LLL got its name from a statue of Nuestra Señora of La Leche and Buen Parto in Saint Augustine, FL.  It's a statue of the Virgin Mary nursing the baby Jesus.  There are many representations of Mary nursing Jesus in renaissance art.  The Greco-Roman mythology the Milk Way originated when Hera was nursing Heracles.  He nursed so strongly that Hera pushed him away and her spraying milk became the Milky Way.  The word "galaxy" comes from that myth.

[EowynW]

@older than allosaurs I loveeeee Carla's book. One of the best wedding presents we received. 

[VooDooChild]

Is yieldedness a word??

[TeddyBonkers]

20 minutes ago, VooDooChild said:

Is yieldedness a word??

My dictionary doesn't think so, but maybe Lori's super Godly 1848 Webster's dictionary would disagree!

[older than allosaurs]

3 hours ago, EowynW said:

@older than allosaurs I loveeeee Carla's book. One of the best wedding presents we received. 

That's really cool. I still have my mimeographed copy from the '70s, somewhere. Carla was unique, and when you read her, you feel as though you can do anything.

[EowynW]

6 minutes ago, older than allosaurs said:

That's really cool. I still have my mimeographed copy from the '70s, somewhere. Carla was unique, and when you read her, you feel as though you can do anything.

My mom has that copy. In a ring bound binder. 

[Hane]

6 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@older than allosaurs,  I love Carla Emery!  I'm sad that she died of a heart attack several years back.

 

The word "modesty" needs to be stricken from the language when referring to breastfeeding.  Mothers nursing their children are NEVER immodest however they breastfeed.  They can be all covered up or they can be stripped to the waist, but the act of nursing is not immodest: it is feeding and comforting a small child.  (I'd like for the phrase "whipping it out" to be stricken as well.)  La Leche League has always used the term discreet breastfeeding to refer to the mother's efforts to make nursing less noticeable whether by lifting her top, using a blanket, or wearing modified clothes.  Some in the breastfeeding advocacy community have argued that breastfeeding will never be normalized as long as women feel compelled to cover up when nursing. (Not trying to start a debate about breastfeeding, but I hope we can all agree that a woman should not feel shame when breastfeeding.)   

This in one more favorite videos:

Love that old lady (old meaning my age!) dancing with the milk jugs at breast level!

Love it! I remember the first La Leche League meeting I went to, when I was first pregnant. The room was full of pleasant young moms in jeans and sweaters—all with Playboy centerfold knockers.

[dairyfreelife]

5 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Honestly, it feels like her blog is dedicated to responding to what she reads about herself here. She writes: 

"There must be a lot of smiles, hugs, and laughter in a home as well. If the home is somber and lacks joy, the children will grow up to be more attracted to the world and its ways, rather than to Christ. As parents, you need to show your children that living for the Lord is the very best thing in the world. They NEED to see your love, joy, and excitement for the Lord."

This sounds so artificial. Somehow I find it difficult to beleive that the cold and robotic Lori filled her home with love and laughter. Perhaps we have differing ideas of what that means.

She also takes the time to knock parents of only children:

"Selfishness never leads to happiness or contentment. This is why having large families is usually healthier for children. They learn to share and yield to others."

Thanks Lori. I'll let my only child, who reads to the blind and donates her time at a local charity, know that she would have been better off with 9 siblings.

She loves to knock anyone any chance she gets and since she didn't have an only child and was not an only child, that means anyone who is or was an only child must be terrible. Clearly having siblings didn't stop her from being selfish and what does she share with anyone? When does Lori yield to anyone? 

As a person with infertility issues who also has diagnosed mental health problems requiring meds (severe anxiety/GAD and OCD), adoption is not a likely option (though would love the option as so many children need a loving home and family and I could provide such but I digress). Because both of my tubes are completely blocked and, only likely option is to spend 10s of 1000s of $ to do IVF and hope everything is okay and it works and carries to term or near enough to term that risks of issues with prematurity are unlikely to be an issue. Saying all that to say I could very well have just one child and though would love to have more and would prefer my child to have siblings, at least one, because I did and so did my fiance and I would love for them to have that relationship too, but having a healthy, happy child, just one, is more than enough for me. 

So, basically, I think only child, three or four children, seven children, ten children, whatever, what matters is how well you as a parent care, love and provide for the child's needs. I've known the stereotypical spoiled bratty only child, but I've also known plenty of spoiled brats who had siblings as well. I've also known only children who were nice kids and have become happy, healthy wonderful adults. One of my high school friends was an only child and she was one of the sweetest, kindest souls I have ever had the honor of knowing. She's now a special education teacher and works with kids with behavioral problems in middle school and is well-respected in her field by the children in her care. One person I know was one of 9 kids and dropped out of high school, heavy smoker, can't seem to hold a job. Another was one of 11, he dropped out of high school, in and out of the streets and jail, hooked on who knows what drug now and last I knew was in prison for assault or something. The one of 11, most of them were homeschooled or went to private Christian schools like Lori's kids. Clearly, that worked out well to produce happy, healthy, and productive adults. Most of his siblings didn't fare much better. 

1 hour ago, TeddyBonkers said:

My dictionary doesn't think so, but maybe Lori's super Godly 1848 Webster's dictionary would disagree!

I only found some random links using the word. However, the dictionaries of the internet do not seem to understand this word. They only know yield and yielded. All modern dictionaries are clearly lacking in godliness. I cannot seem to find this word in the Bible either though, even the KJV, only to yield, yield and yielded. Perhaps even the Bible isn't godly enough for Lori? I mean, if Jesus can be wrong...

[PennySycamore]

@dairyfreelife, one of my middle daughter's best friends has some mental health issues AND is single, but she is able to foster not one, but two little girls.  The friend had been a nanny for several years and was thought of by the family she nannied for that they asked her to go to Australia with them to keep on nannying the kids.  If you are open to fostering, that might be an avenue for you.

[desertvixen]

@usmcmom and @PennySycamore, as a young mom I definitely appreciated that sort of smile!

@lilwriter85 - the car was also one of my favorite places to nurse "in public", not so much the privacy deal but the option to recline back in my seat.

The last thing a nursing mom needs is an encounter like Lori.  I think the modesty drapes (a la Michelle D) are stupid, but I also gave birth to a no-blanket kiddo.

[Sarah92]

No having large families isn't always healthier or happier. If you can't afford to have a lot of children without living in poverty, don't. You really shouldn't put God to the test. Can he provide? Yes. But we're called to be good stewards of what we have. On that note, sometimes families can't get any bigger than the one child they have.

I have two other siblings. A brother who is eight years older and a sister who is five years younger. A couple months after I was born, my mother has a series of strokes, needed minor brain surgery, and had to relearn many skills. She also switched from writing with her right hand to her left. She wasn't really supposed to have more children after me but my little sister was a surprise. Luckily both are healthy but I'm soooo glad my mom and dad didn't push their luck and try for more. My younger sister is the only one born a lefty in my family, she's a testament to my mom's strength and determination to get better after her strokes even if it meant learning to write with a completely different hand, among other things. 

And because Lindy says there's only so much a man can take... Well, my dad stuck through having to take care of a newborn baby girl and an 8 year old boy, in addition to helping a wife going through pretty intense rehabilitation after her strokes. So take that Lindy and Lori, I have a father that took/takes care of his kids and his wife. Who knows how to cook, clean, bake a mean apple pie, and mend and irons his own clothes. #fathersareparentstoo 

[Frog99]

So this afternoon’s topic was a regurgitated post about how a woman can come home and a family can live on just the husband’s income. The post is a copy from Laine’s letters and she is identified as a “teacher”. When a commenter notes that times have changed and suggests a need for something more updated, Lori posts another “teaching” post from a couple years ago. 

I think I’m pretty smart- I have my MSW, I teach in higher ed, I have presented at conferences... I don’t see any teaching in those posts. When someone says their family of 6 lived on $29,000/year and they managed to pay off the house and other debts, I want to know numbers. What was the mortgage, insurance (health, car, etc), what was the elec bill- all of those elements. Not drivel about not using AC or the dryer and going to 6 different grocery stores (and quite honestly the grocery store thing reeks of privilege- I dare say that is not a viable option for a lot of families). 

And if Laine and her letters were so helpful, why is her old blog gone? Why can people only link to saved versions they kept themselves?

Lori idolizes these women for some strange reason. It’s the same with Connie Hultquist- the woman whose husband spent years coming and going, etc- Lori holds her up as an example- but I looked her up on FB and I have the right person, I don’t think Lori would characterize her children as “walking in truth”. That’s not to say anything is wrong- but if it were any other person, Lori would be quick to criticize. 

Has Lori deleted her personal FB page or am I just blocked? I’ve never interacted with her but I have liked some of the commenters of her dissenters. 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

@dairyfreelife, one of my middle daughter's best friends has some mental health issues AND is single, but she is able to foster not one, but two little girls.  The friend had been a nanny for several years and was thought of by the family she nannied for that they asked her to go to Australia with them to keep on nannying the kids.  If you are open to fostering, that might be an avenue for you.

I second this! I know people with diagnosed mental health issues, who are on medication, and who still were able to adopt. 

[Red Jumper]

11 hours ago, VooDooChild said:

Is yieldedness a word??

9 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

[...] I only found some random links using the word. However, the dictionaries of the internet do not seem to understand this word. They only know yield and yielded. All modern dictionaries are clearly lacking in godliness. I cannot seem to find this word in the Bible either though, even the KJV, only to yield, yield and yielded. Perhaps even the Bible isn't godly enough for Lori? I mean, if Jesus can be wrong...

Astounding. An online dictionary gives 1 German translation and indicates it is used in religious or esoteric context. This indicates  someone made it up and people blindly copied it until it became a word.

TL;DR: Perhaps this source is not really so great

If click on the translation, I'll get a little selection to choose from. Seriously, I can't remember I haven't seen so many English words for one German word. That tells me: no need to make up a word, choose one you have with the right nuance of meaning

Spoiler

I do have some problem with this dictionary entry, though: 1) Please fellow native speakers show me examples where the German word is used in plural. Just because the plural of a word ending in "-heit" is  "-heiten", doest mean it exists. 2) There are more translations than one - s. example "I envy your calm". So why I do net get the "Ruhe"? Sure, it means silence as well, but not here.

"Children must also see parents who live lives that are yielded to the Lord and to others." Lori, let this non native speaker tell you: your title should be yieldingness. That's the noun to "when somebody yielded". As a professional writer with a teaching background you should know this and own a current dictionary. You do realise you won't find"internet chatroom" in a 19.th century dictionary? I guess you were too busy correcting others before you could notice the round walls around you.

 

Let's play:

"Do you, Lori, not care if you don’t get your own way?" - "Hell, no - My way is the only right way. If you disagree you, I'll tell you that you disagree with God. Isn't that brilliant?"

"Do you, Lori, live to please others instead of yourselves?" - "Are you kidding? What do you think is the reason other humans exist?"

"Do you, Lori, first see that people around you, Lori, are served before you, Lori, serve yourself?" - "When I see, I make Ken pay for it. I am the Queen!

"Do you, Lori, live to be served or to serve?" - "What do i have a mother, a father, or children for? Ken and I, well, we have this agreement. I pretend to serve and he .. well, l I can't go into details, it's lemonade time"

[usmcmom]

Back to the nursing mother issue. It seems those big nursing covers would draw more attention to a woman than a baby merely nursing by way of a raised shirt. If a woman raises her shirt, you can't really tell if the baby is nursing or just cuddling. Usually, mummy's belly is covered. Her breast is covered by her top and the baby's head. 

Having said that, if you want to use a blanket or nursing cover - go for it. If you want to unbutton your blouse from the top, down and let the baby nurse that way, go for it.  If you want to let your baby scream in hunger but you cannot nurse him/her at the moment because....lust - JUST STOP IT ALREADY. And if you flick your baby's cheek for biting, I'd like to break your fingers.   

I think we should flood this thread with pictures of nursing mothers because we know Lori reads here and she will go into full on panic mode, worrying that Ken will see a breast. 

[PennySycamore]

@usmcmom, there's a story in The LLLove Story, about the early years of La Leche League, how a photographer was going to take a professional portrait of Marian Tompson, Founding Mother and President of LLL.  Marian came in with her baby and the photographer took the picture.  Then he wondered if he could get a photo of Marian nursing.   Well, he already had and didn't realize it.

I think I've already got a copy of two of The LLLove Story but I need to order another copy before LLLI closes the online store.

[teachergirl]

I did not breastfeed but for those who asked about the one who said "training". yes I believe those poor babies are forced to nurse under a cover whether they want to or not. I imagine that training includes flicking, hitting and any other awful thing we can think of in the name of "modesty"

[EowynW]

Today is my sister's first anniversary and her husband's post was a good fundie example of marriage in my circle. 

All he said was "Want to wish my wonderful wife a happy anniversary! Our first year of marriage has been great! Her name has taken wonderful care of me. I love her more and more each day!"

Bolding mine. Maybe I'm still too sensitive to all that stuff, but really? The best thing he could say about her was she takes care of him?! 

[lilwriter85]

11 hours ago, Frog99 said:

So this afternoon’s topic was a regurgitated post about how a woman can come home and a family can live on just the husband’s income. The post is a copy from Laine’s letters and she is identified as a “teacher”. When a commenter notes that times have changed and suggests a need for something more updated, Lori posts another “teaching” post from a couple years ago. 

I think I’m pretty smart- I have my MSW, I teach in higher ed, I have presented at conferences... I don’t see any teaching in those posts. When someone says their family of 6 lived on $29,000/year and they managed to pay off the house and other debts, I want to know numbers. What was the mortgage, insurance (health, car, etc), what was the elec bill- all of those elements. Not drivel about not using AC or the dryer and going to 6 different grocery stores (and quite honestly the grocery store thing reeks of privilege- I dare say that is not a viable option for a lot of families). 

And if Laine and her letters were so helpful, why is her old blog gone? Why can people only link to saved versions they kept themselves?

 

 

I also want to know the numbers. I sometimes wonder if the fangirls bullshit on certain things when it comes to living on certain incomes. Some of the fangirls live in areas with lower costs of living, but that still might not give them a lot of breathing room especially if they keep having kids and the breadwinner's salary never rises.  It is possible that some have might built homes on family land or inherited homes. Or, it's possible that bought fixer upper homes. But, there are still other housing related costs like property taxes and home repairs. The fangirls with mortgages are never going to say how they make payments or how they pay their other bills.

I suspect that some of the fangirls take forms of government assistance, but of course they won't admit it online especially since Lori has already said that she and her family dislike people who get government handouts. As for healthcare costs, I'm betting some of them are on Scamtarian or something similar. If some of the fangirls are truthful about having large families while living on 9k 20k, or 30k, I bet there are times they are delinquent on some of their bills and they probably cut corners deeply. I still find it quite sad that the idiot fangirls will never fully realize that Lori wouldn't give a shit if their families were hungry or about to be homeless or of something happened to the sole provider.