Mother overreacts to her son's tattoo

[LadyCrow1313]

My parents thought I was crazy when I got my first tattoo, but they've gotten/got over it. This lady needs to chill out, for criminy's sake. And yes, that Joker meme is absolutely perfect, @PumaLover (but then again, The Dark Knight is one of my all-time favorite movies, so I always get excited when I see The Joker in any capacity).

[nokidsmom]

FTR, I don't have tattoos, but to each his own on what they want to do with tattoos, piercings, etc.   

I read this article plus the comments.   There were some folks thinking this had to be trolling or at least exaggerated, but knowing from personal experience, sadly, there are parents who do seriously overreact to the point it's downright disturbing.  

Years ago, there was an article in our local about a young man (same age as the young man in the article)  who chose not to go to college because he wanted to be an auto mechanic.  He already had his own repair business and IIRC, he wanted to go to the local community college for mechanic training.   Mother was just beside herself that he wasn't going to college despite his affinity for car repair and that he already established a business with it.   This woman was quoted that she would rather see her own son have a drug problem, than not go to college.   I remember thinking, this lady needs help.   This was back before the internet, so she was spared the comments she would have gotten from that one.

 

[RosyDaisy]

Of all the things parents have to worry about, tattoos shouldn't be on the list. Except for fear that it was a back alley job or some other unsanitary place.

[Jug Band Baby]

On 7/15/2017 at 0:30 AM, laPapessaGiovanna said:

Please tell me it's satire! It's so ridiculously over the top and carefully written with lots of punctuation and adjectives that it reads like one of those bad romances that would be all about introspection but that really are more dull selfcenteredness. 

Who the fuck writes like this?

"But by deciding to have a tattoo, my son took a meat cleaver to my apron strings[...] The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

I am redundant."

She writes like an emo teenager who feels like she's been cheated on when she sees her boyfriend kissing another girl, when the boy who was only dating her in her head and had no idea who she was.

Girlfrien' needs some professional help to learn that her children's bodies aren't her property, not when they're minors, not when they're adults.  She also needs to be smacked for thinking her son knocking someone up and bringing a baby into a situation with a couple student parents (don't even start on how you or your kid or whoever else did it when I think we can all agree that it's not the ideal time, and comes with a lot of extra challenges), which is JUST AS PERMANENT, is better.  No wonder her relationship with her kid changed.  If she stewed in private a few days, then sucked it up, instead of telling him he hurt her in the worst way possible, maybe he would be able to forgive her for acting so bratty without even seeing it.  I hope it wasn't some sweet tattoo about his mother.

[FeministFunPolice]

My grandfather offered to cut skin from my arse to cover my tattoo and I thought that was taking it badly! 

The way parents expect to be able to override their child's bodily autonomy is boggling. 

[Khan]

Wow. That is some very emo girl writing, indeed. She doesn't want an apology but "groveling abasement" instead.   She's using the job prospects line while throwing out professions that wear clothing which would cover her son's tattoo. From the description it isn't as if he got what we call "an unemployment stamp" aka something huge and vulgar on the face and/or neck. 

Like @FundieFarmerI heard "You did this just to spite me." quite often.  I thought I had seen histrionics from my mother when I first dyed my hair. I now stand corrected.    I truly hope this is not a true story but a style exercise, as was suggested upthread.

[Shiny]

Omg, can you imagine when this guys gets married? The poor daughter-in-law. 

[HarryPotterFan]

On July 17, 2017 at 10:58 PM, RosyDaisy said:

Of all the things parents have to worry about, tattoos shouldn't be on the list. Except for fear that it was a back alley job or some other unsanitary place.

Pretty much. My position is pretty much, "don't do anything stupid." Like unsanitary places, a face or neck tattoo, hate symbols, getting a tattoo when you can't pay the bills/buy diapers ala the kids on 16 and pregnant...

And at least he brought it up respectfully. Unlike what happened with family friends, where one daughter debut her giant back tattoo at her sister's wedding when she put on her bridesmaid's dress 

[SweetFellowshipper]

When I came out as bi, my mom wrote me a letter about how if I had done "psychological research" I would have realized that it is "normal" for parents of LGBT children to go through the five stages of grief "exactly as if they were dead, sometimes even worse than a death," and that an essential part of her had permanently died as a result of my announcement. She also said she woke up every day numb, with tears in her eyes and wanting to vomit thinking about me being with a woman, that she thought daily about the possibility of suicide, that she would have been better off not having me at all than having a child who would grow up to have sex with a woman, and that if she could go back in time it would have made her consider an abortion.

I think I have now, as of this article, finally read about a mom who is her equal or worse?

[louisa05]

29 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

getting a tattoo when you can't pay the bills/buy diapers ala the kids on 16 and pregnant...

How about spending $350 on a tattoo and paying $350 more for your new bestie/business partner to get a matching one, then calling your parents because you don't have enough money left from your business loan to complete your move/revamp of said business and want them to loan you...wait for it...$800? 

Because my sister-in-law did that. When she was 35. And the bestie/business partner took off three months later after paying exactly $0 of her share in the business, never mind the tattoo. 

[nomoxian]

4 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

When I came out as bi, my mom wrote me a letter about how if I had done "psychological research" I would have realized that it is "normal" for parents of LGBT children to go through the five stages of grief "exactly as if they were dead, sometimes even worse than a death," and that an essential part of her had permanently died as a result of my announcement. She also said she woke up every day numb, with tears in her eyes and wanting to vomit thinking about me being with a woman, that she thought daily about the possibility of suicide, that she would have been better off not having me at all than having a child who would grow up to have sex with a woman, and that if she could go back in time it would have made her consider an abortion.

I think I have now, as of this article, finally read about a mom who is her equal or worse?

Hooooly hell. I am really sorry you had to experience that!

And here I thought it was bad that, upon coming out to my mom as a teen, she told me I had to "pick a side". I'm married (to a guy) but he and I openly "check out" females. My mom was worried my brother was gay, even though he was openly checking out girls too... Maybe he's bi too. Who really cares though? Other than my mom, lol

[Jug Band Baby]

On 7/18/2017 at 3:44 AM, Khan said:

She's using the job prospects line while throwing out professions that wear clothing which would cover her son's tattoo. From the description it isn't as if he got what we call "an unemployment stamp" aka something huge and vulgar on the face and/or neck. 

Whatever and wherever it was, it was hidden enough that it didn't show when he was doing dishes.  I don't think jobs are a concern.  She just tried to hurt him.

4 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

When I came out as bi, my mom wrote me a letter about how if I had done "psychological research" I would have realized that it is "normal" for parents of LGBT children to go through the five stages of grief "exactly as if they were dead, sometimes even worse than a death," and that an essential part of her had permanently died as a result of my announcement. She also said she woke up every day numb, with tears in her eyes and wanting to vomit thinking about me being with a woman, that she thought daily about the possibility of suicide, that she would have been better off not having me at all than having a child who would grow up to have sex with a woman, and that if she could go back in time it would have made her consider an abortion.

I think I have now, as of this article, finally read about a mom who is her equal or worse?

A friend's dad beat him bloody, then kicked him out of the house.  There's only grief if a parents was too attached to their plan for their child's future instead of having a willingness to let their children lead their own lives.

[Karma]

Lol @louisa05, I was waiting for you to tell a sister in law story when I was reading this thread.  Your crazy SIL  has not let us down  .

[HarryPotterFan]

@SweetFellowshipper I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's awful.

@louisa05 Of course she did. Why am I not surprised? 

[ADoyle90815]

I've never had any desire for tattoos because there hasn't been anything I want permanently on my body. I don't mind tattoos on others, especially if they went to a really good artist, but they're not my thing.

I did get a second set of ear piercings as an adult, for me it was a celebration that my divorce from my abusive ex was final. My parents didn't expect me to do that, but at the same time, they knew I was an adult and that it's my body, my choice as ears are a body part. Part of me hopes that this story is satire, but if it's not, that mom needs some serious therapy.

[Minionmayhem]

Oh man, my grandmother could have written this. I think it's just part of the fantasy of how people who care about us see our life going. Tattoos are mostly permanent and haven't always had the best connotations, so they don't fit the perfect kid narrative for a lot of people. 

My grandmother acted like I ran her over with a car every time I came home with a new tattoo, but I generally don't suck and I care, a lot, about everyone, so she has more or less come to terms with my art........a solid decade after getting them all. 

[samurai_sarah]

20 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

When I came out as bi, my mom wrote me a letter about how if I had done "psychological research" I would have realized that it is "normal" for parents of LGBT children to go through the five stages of grief "exactly as if they were dead, sometimes even worse than a death," and that an essential part of her had permanently died as a result of my announcement.

(snip)

Wow, just wow! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! ((( hugs))) to you!

 

[purjolok84]

@nomoxian Who picks a side when you clearly don't have to? That's just insanity!

 

I didn't enjoy reading this article - both my parents had hysterics the first time I went from long to drastically short hair. My dad actually snarled at me, he was that mad, while telling me that he wasn't going to tell me he liked it. Or the 5 days where both parents ignored me after they found out I went to a gay pride youth group. The mum in this article and all her pretentious whingeing just reminded me of them.

 

 

[danvillebelle]

That mom needs some serious therapy.  

Actually, that's probably some of what went on in my own mother's mind when I got my first tattoo (at age 44, mind you), but she would never say anything.  She is the queen of denial - if she does not acknowledge something, it doesn't exist.

She was here visiting about 4 months after I got it.  I purposefully wore a tank top that exposed it fully (it's on my left shoulder blade) to piss her off and see if she'd say anything.  Not a fucking word.  

My 16yo daughter already has her first one planned, to get when she's 18.  You can bet I'll be plastering that shit all over FB to make my mom go batshit.  

[Mela99]

I'm 99.999% sure this kid could tell wild stories about his mother. If he did this to get to her, I would honestly say good for him.... 

[SusanDelgado]

I'd love to hear about his childhood, what she was like and all. 

[polecat]

Lady, calm the fuck down.

Not your body, not your business.

[FundieFarmer]

On 7/24/2017 at 10:56 AM, Mela99 said:

I'm 99.999% sure this kid could tell wild stories about his mother. If he did this to get to her, I would honestly say good for him.... 

Hell, I'd say mission accomplished.

Good luck for his future wife. 

 

[FundieDefrauder]

That lady needs mental help he is a grown man.

I guess I am lucky with my mom she went with me to get my first tattoo. She wanted to check out the place for safety and to see if they are sanitary.  Later on, we got a matching a mother/daughter tattoo.