"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" author is crowdfunding a documentary on the impact of his book

[seraaa]

"I Survived I kissed dating goodbye" is being made by a woman who goes to the same Theology School as Josh Harris. She outlines it: "Through following Joshua Harris as he engages his critics, his fans and various Christian leaders, we get to see the complexities surrounding sexuality finally given expression and attention."

 

So.

 

 

[erunerune]

Yea, dude likes to skateboard, we get it. 

Harris was my gateway fundie back when I first discovered fundies a couple of decades ago, so obviously I'm riveted regardless of whatever comes of this. 

[acheronbeach]

I'm interested to see what he does with this.  Vancouver is ultra liberal particularly UBC which is right next to his college. It must have been a culture shock. 

[Tangy Bee]

He said his wife was not a virgin when they got married. So...what about the pieces of heart that were missing!?! 

[hoipolloi]

Just came across this Kickstarter campaign to fund a documentary on surviving IKDG featuring Josh Harris and others.

Quote

 

Through the connective platform of social media, Harris has been dealt a battering of online criticism from disenchanted Christians in recent years. Some have lashed out at Harris directly for I Kissed Dating Goodbye and others have set up websites dedicated to Harris’ “victims”. Many online have called for Joshua Harris to apologise for what they believe was hurtful teaching, while others are applauding him for his stance and encouraging him to stand his ground. Harris has felt pressure from all sides to do or say something. 

In this documentary, we see Joshua Harris finally ready to speak out about I Kissed Dating Goodbye, 20 years on. 

 

He's really going to speak out?

Or is this a PR shtick to position himself for re-entry into the fundie hipster arena now that he's probably finishing up whatever theology degree he's been pursuing at Regent College 

[sea_gale]

I'm on the fence with this. On one hand, I'm impressed with him saying that his best-known work is, if not exactly wrong, not a one-size-fits-all solution. Admitting error on such a grand scale takes a lot of guts and humility. On the other hand, even though he's "not making a penny" from this movie, I suspect this might be a way for him to pivot into a new, more lucrative centrist market.

[formergothardite]

Didn't he already do something like this? I thought there was a thread last year where he was blogging or posting about how IKDG wasn't perfect and he was young and didn't know much about the world. 

[Jellybean]

Libby Anne blogged about it almost exactly a year ago under the title, 'Is Josh Harris Actually Taking Responsibility?'

If they're crowdfunding for a documentary, I would suggest that the answer to that question might be a no. 

[Palimpsest]

@formergothardite, last year Josh Harris made a rather wishy-washy apology for "perhaps" having got "some" things wrong in IKDG. He asked for people to contact him on his blog because he was going to look into it for a couple of years and then decide what to do.  

Here's Libby Anne's take on it.   http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2016/05/josh-harris-apologizes.html  We also have a thread here somewhere.

If all seemed a bit facile, and some people who had been raised according to the principles in the book decided they didn't trust him enough to contact him.

Perhaps he's ready to retract and repudiate the book properly now.  I'm not holding my breath though.

@Jellybean, snap!  I think they are different articles though.

 

[Jellybean]

Here's an old thread from last year: 

 

[Palimpsest]

If Josh Harris really wants to speak out now about how he's changed his mind -  I'm sure NPR would invite him back.

 He doesn't need to crowd source a $38,033.00 documentary to retract and say he's sorry.  

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

He doesn't need to crowd source a $38,033.00 documentary to retract and say he's sorry.  

But he might need the $$$ for his new "ministry," which I suspect is part of the long game here.

I'll believe he's turned over a new leaf when I see an apology. 

[Jencendiary]

You paid for me to give you spiritual abuse and bad advice! Now pay for me to go and pester my victims about the life-altering effects of following it!

Fucking carnies and rubes. It never stops

[Palimpsest]

16 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

But he might need the $$$ for his new "ministry,"

I more than suspect that's his game.  I'd put money on it!

[L1o2u3]

I hope I will be able to see that documentary when it comes out. Although I'm not sure if I would pay for it and it might not be available in Europe. Maybe we can watch it for free if somebody puts it on Youtube. 

I haven't read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, but I read Boy Meets Girl and I didn't like it at all. It was really creepy when Josh said that he was tempted by looking at his girlfriend's legs when they both sat in a hammock together and then decided that this was off-limits. 

[calvinball]

Yeah, this seems self-serving to me. Doesn't matter if he's going to be making money off the documentary or not, it's a way to give himself yet another public platform, which is the real issue here. It's about ego. 

[Grimalkin]

       He really must think highly of himself. Did people really read his book and follow it like it was the word of God?I'm sure some people read the book and found it useful, and some didn't, and some decided to give it a try and of those people some had good results, and some bad. He isn't Jesus and this isn't The Bible. I'm sure it influenced many people so did The Rules, Why Men Love Bitches, and The Power of the Pussy. 

[L1o2u3]

@Grimalkin what do you mean with "The Rules"? "The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating" or another book?  

I am always surprised when people claim that one book changed their life. I don't change my life because of one book, but I then read several, do some more research and then maybe adapt a few things from one book. Or I don't. But some people do. They read To Train Up a Child and buy a plumbing line.  I don't get that. 

[Anonymousguest]

34 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

       He really must think highly of himself. Did people really read his book and follow it like it was the word of God?I'm sure some people read the book and found it useful, and some didn't, and some decided to give it a try and of those people some had good results, and some bad. He isn't Jesus and this isn't The Bible. I'm sure it influenced many people so did The Rules, Why Men Love Bitches, and The Power of the Pussy. 

This was actually his point when he didn't apologize last year. He said he was young, he didn't know anything, her didn't write the book as a list of rules people should adopt (reading between the lines, people should be more discerning and think for themselves). Unfortunately there is a portion of the population who was looking for a rule book to follow, and their kids/community suffered. Is that his fault?

[Grimalkin]

https://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-tested-Secrets-Capturing-ebook/dp/B000SEI4DS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1499718775&sr=8-2&keywords=The+rules+of+dating

This book came out in the 90's and all my friends were talking about it. I was in my early twenties, I know many women in thier thirties and up were talking about it also. Some people swore by it and some thought it was ridiculous. I am sure some people followed it diligently and felt it ruined thier relationship. 

1 minute ago, Anonymousguest said:

This was actually his point when he didn't apologize last year. He said he was young, he didn't know anything, her didn't write the book as a list of rules people should adopt (reading between the lines, people should be more discerning and think for themselves). Unfortunately their is a property of the population who was looking for a rule book to follow, and their kids/community suffered. Is that his fault?

    I definitely don't think it's his fault. People followed the book because it supported what they wanted to hear. If thier relationship ended up in a disaster after following this book I imagine something inside of them told them something isn't right. Those people ignored thier feelings to blindly follow a 21 year old?

[JMarie]

26 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

This book came out in the 90's and all my friends were talking about it. I was in my early twenties, I know many women in thier thirties and up were talking about it also. Some people swore by it and some thought it was ridiculous. I am sure some people followed it diligently and felt it ruined thier relationship. 

I was in my twenties when this came out, and my coworker said I had to get this book.  I wasn't having much luck with dating, but the book didn't help.  I tossed it in the dumpster when I moved.

[nickelodeon]

By "battering of online criticism" do they mean people saying "I am a grown-ass adult and I don't need my mom to date my girlfriends for me"?

[calvinball]

The Harris family in general makes my skin crawl. His twin younger brothers started that Rebelution site, which hosted the infamous Modesty Survey from several years ago. 

[Anonymousguest]

9 minutes ago, calvinball said:

The Harris family in general makes my skin crawl. His twin younger brothers started that Rebelution site, which hosted the infamous Modesty Survey from several years ago. 

They were teens at the time and they did apologize and take it down. 

I think that where Josh does carry some responsibility is that he knew how his book was being used for many years, and could have spoken out at any time, could have revised with different language, not printed new editions, etc. He, or is father, also marketed they book to the specific population that tends to want to legalistically follow the rules.

[formergothardite]

56 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

I definitely don't think it's his fault. People followed the book because it supported what they wanted to hear. If thier relationship ended up in a disaster after following this book I imagine something inside of them told them something isn't right. Those people ignored thier feelings to blindly follow a 21 year old?

IME a lot of the people who latched onto his book were parents who then forced it on their children and made them feel like a massive failure and disappointment if they became adults who didn't stick with the rules or who started the whole courtship thing but found it didn't work. I remember it being used by even Gothard parents who show that people outside of IBLP knew that dating was bad.