Cleaning the toilet? Throwing Up? PRAISE GOD!

[Deleted07]

Whatever you do

Posted on 27/01/2012

jessicaletchford.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/whatever-you-do/

when you roll out of bed in the morning…

when you clean the toilet…

when you eat breakfast or lunch or dinner…

when you twitter or facebook…

when you are trying to understand your latest math lesson…

when you are taking on the phone…

when you are reading a book…

when you climb a tree or wrap a present or clean the car…

when you watch a movie…

when you throw up…

when you clean up your room…

when you go grocery shopping…

when you build a table or paint a sunset or sew a dress…

whatever you do, wherever you are, whoever you’re with, whenever you’re doing it… give it all you have… invest in some umption… love others while you do it… show some elbow grease… smile sincerely… treat it like a top-priority mission from God Most High!

I can feel a mission coming up my esophagus, so off I go to invest in it and smile through the chunks... :pray:

[latraviata]

I can feel a mission coming up my esophagus, so off I go to invest in it and smile through the chunks... :pray:

I always praise the lord, especially on the loo, I shout hallelujah, praise the lord!!!!!

[Kitty]

Is she the sort of person who plays epic orchestral pieces while going to the grocery store, because treating toilet-cleaning like it's a mission from God is... odd. o.o

[longskirtlotsakids]

Dang, I can't get over how ARDUOUS living is for Fundie women. Honestly. In my atheist world, life is so short and you never know when it will end, so make the most of each beautiful day. If you are constantly having tough, slogging days, it's time to reevaluate your life and see what you could do to make your life happier.

[mirele]

Sorry...if I'm throwing up...it's not a mission from God. It means I'm desperately ill and probably should see a doctor ASAP.

On the other hand, there is that college euphemism for throwing up after binge drinking (not recommended): "praising the porcelain goddess." Maybe that's what she's doing.

[heart4home]

My mom always said this type of thing, too, but she left vomiting out of it. Throwing up was just an unpleasant thing you sometimes had to go through, huh, who knew I was supposed to be rejoicing into the toilet bowl.

[Cats Pajamas]

How does one watch a movie with elbow grease?

[DistantStar]

The only times I've thrown up as an adult have been on a handful of occasions during bad hangovers, and I must say that I could see being thankful afterwards as I've always instantly felt much better. But during? You've gotta be nuts.

[Angri-la]

How does one watch a movie with elbow grease?

Do you really want me to answer this one? Oh, wait, god damned Onan, didn't he...nevermind.

[latraviata]

Do you really want me to answer this one? Oh, wait, god damned Onan, didn't he...nevermind.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Praise the lord hallelujah!!!!

[pimpom]

What's umption?

[RachelB]

I do a sort of modified version of what she's talking about for tasks that bore me-- making a conscious decision to be engaged in the task. I don't think chopping vegetables is tremendously fascinating, but it's part of making dinner, and the end result is worth it to me. So I might as well enjoy the compensating pleasures that the task offers: the smell of the peppers and garlic, the texture of the mushrooms and tomatoes, the color of the carrot. And I try to be grateful at the same time to the people who worked to grow it-- farm laborers work hard, and I wouldn't be eating were it not for their efforts. Oddly enough, it's more fun to cook because I'm not worried that God will hate me if I don't cheerfully cook dinner to God's glory every night.

There are tasks I can't engage myself into liking, though. The Partner (oops, I mean "my headship") cleans the toilet of his own volition, because long ago we told each other which tasks we each liked / tolerated / couldn't stand. And because we like each other, and want each other to be happy, I do the things he can't stand, and vice versa. Praying for God to lay it on his heart to clean the toilet would have been very inefficient.

What's umption?

Maybe a cross between unction (which is a Catholic thing, no? :naughty: ) and gumption?

[delilahdog11]

It bothers me that she said that throwing up should be a cause for praising god. I suffer from cluster headaches and it reminds of my well meaning friends who tell me I should meditate during the headaches to make them go away, that I need to drink more water, do more yoga, etc. All good advice for the days I am suffering incredible pain or just in moments when I am not engaged in pain. Otherwise, I am taking the drugs the doctors gave me to help. I am too busy trying to survive to praise god, to let go of the pain, to think about something else.

I do like the idea of making daily, must do chores into meditation in action. I am prone to long bouts of laziness and to complaining. I found myself complaining about having to take a shower. Oh my god. The horror of having easy access to such a luxary. I just don't see cleaning the toliet, cooking dinner, picking my toddler up, or throwing up, or taking a shit as my mission from god. They are the things I do as a biological being, as contributing to my happiness and well being.

I find the whole praising god while cleaning the toilet thing as another attempt to keep fundy women happy with their lot in life. Praise Jesus that I have the opportunity to clean the toilet while my headships closely monitors my work and screams over my shoulder that I should have swirled the toliet brush clockwise instead of counterclockwise.

[Mela99]

I cleaned out the litter box! :banana-angel:

[Bloo]

I kind of get that mentality. If I'm thinking correctly, fundies enjoy praising God and it makes them feel good about themselves, and it can help them get through drudgery. I hate cleaning, but when I'm forced to do it, I'll crank up the nearest stereo and belt out my favorite music while doing it. Even just tonight, while I was cleaning out my car, I blasted Simon and Garfunkel.

However, I don't see why you'd include throwing up in there. For one, hopefully throwing up takes a maximum of about three minutes and isn't something that happens on a regular basis (oh, wait, I forgot- they're pregnant all the time, so it may well be). For two, and this may just be me, but when I vomit I have to throw all of my concentration into not choking because I have an insanely powerful gag reflex and am an emetophobe, which compounds the issue often by restricting my airway. It's a terrifying, thought-consuming experience, and it's only several minutes afterward that I can form coherent thoughts again.

[luckystone]

I am about to go to the loo, brb #praisegod

[Gizmola]

Why do fundies have to thank God in every.fucking.little.thing. they do?

Like...

realizing I got my period but am out of tampons so have to wear rolled up toilet paper in my underpants while I make a drugstore run

accidentally farting in a business meeting and then trying to finish presentation while obsessed with trying to figure out if anyone heard you

getting up in the middle of the night to stumble to the bathroom to find out your dog threw up in the hallway, which you find out by stepping in it

when you get the munchies 'cause your neighbors are smoking the ganja outside and spending your grocery money on sliders

when the dinner burns, the dogs won't stop jumping and you get so overwhelmed you start guzzling Grey Goose like it's going out of style