Rebecca Eleventy-hundred turns 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FloraDoraDolly]

It's sad that she has been raised to be useless. I mean, outside of keeping a home and keeping sweet, she has nothing to offer. It's really sad, I cannot believe someone purposely set out to give her this life. What can she do? She probably cannot even work a cash register. Her parents will die and no Prince Charming will come, and then what?

Everybody has SOMETHING to offer. Rebecca comes off as a sweet person who cares deeply about her family and friends. She could work at a daycare center or a nursing home. A faith-based facility would probably suit her best. She is definitely someone who belongs in a helping profession. And if she can operate a blog, then she is capable of learning how to work a cash register, if she ever wanted/needed to do so.

[WonderingInWA]

Has anyone read her father's book? I can only imagine what he's got to say about his life of success (and why he's qualified to be an author of advice). It's one thing to love Jesus with a pure heart and entirely another to give your children a good life with a good education. I hope there is more to the story than meets the eye.

[emmiedahl]

Everybody has SOMETHING to offer. Rebecca comes off as a sweet person who cares deeply about her family and friends. She could work at a daycare center or a nursing home. A faith-based facility would probably suit her best. She is definitely someone who belongs in a helping profession. And if she can operate a blog, then she is capable of learning how to work a cash register, if she ever wanted/needed to do so.

You need actually education to do both of those. I have done both jobs, and they required classes.

[WonderingInWA]

It would have sure as hell been too late for me. :whistle:

Uh, me, too. Grew up in Idaho. Not much goin' on there to keep us pure. LOL.

[bionicmlle]

IIRC the Wilkerson family has a blog about adopting FAS kids. There are a LOT of pics of Rachel on her blog - I think she is her bestie but also her imaginary daughter.

I know I won't have much agreement but I actually think Annah is looking a bit better as she ages. Rebecca does seem to need some nutritional or allergy testing.... and maybe a dress that isn't made out of cotton quilting fabric.

ETA: I was wrong I can't find a blog but many of you will remember that Rachel went missing in 2009: http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/stch ... 90a90.html

[Witsec7]

I think her buying the girls dresses for her own birthday was pretty squicky.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

This girl makes me so sad I want to cry. I have no snark, only sadness. And the thing is that she's trying to emulate other fundies whose lives are also sad, but she's even sadder yet. At least someone like Sarah Maxwell, for all the shit she has to deal with, probably gets some sense of worth and pride because she comes from a family who is, within a particular circle, well-known and considered a paragon of virtue. Rebecca has nothing but her sweetness and naivete.

[luckystone]

These fundies scare me less than Maxwell-type fundies. The issues and problems we see with the former are more due to poverty and lack of education. It's not really surprising they would adopt an ultra religious lifestyle when they have little exposure to anything else. My grandparents grew up that way.

In contrast, the Maxwell parents were educated. Steve could have made a great income for his family and given his children fantastic opportunities and educations. It is twisted and wrong what he has chosen to do instead.

I agree with that. I don't want to sound too mean, but in the photos they just look really, really sort of...lower class and uneducated. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but that was my first thought when I saw the pics and read their activities (I hadn't followed them before). I'm assuming that's less harmful than the families who have a bit more of a clue about what they're doing to their kids.

I really hope some jerk doesn't come and marry her and then leave her. I know they're fundies but aren't there a lot of so-called Christian guys who are still total jerks? She might not see through it and think it's ok to have sex and babies because she's finally married, and then he'll go. I really hope that doesn't happen.

[FloraDoraDolly]

You need actually education to do both of those. I have done both jobs, and they required classes.

Some fundie church daycares really don't require much in the way of education. A homeschool diploma, some babysitting experience, and good references from a pastor or someone like that would be enough for a minimum wage position as a teaching assistant. Even the diploma might not be necessary; I've had friends who got summer jobs in daycares while they were still in high school. These were secular daycares, no less. You can get a job as a nanny with almost no education; you don't even need to speak fluent English. But Rebecca would probably be more comfortable working in a church. Sometimes she blogs about a homeschool lending library in her area. Maybe she could work there? I agree that more education would be good for her, but she isn't useless.

[contrary]

Rebecca and her family ARE lower class and uneducated. There's nothing wrong with that (the satin fabric tent dresses, however...)

I could kick her dad upside the head for his decisions about his daughters, and I could kick their momma in the head for following along. HOWEVER, I don't think Rebecca is inherently unattractive. She has a nice, friendly, open face. Her hair and dress are conforming to her social circle's norms, as far as i can tell. She'd stand out as funny-lookin' on a university campus, but in her day-to-day-life, i imagine she doesn't stick out.

That said, I also don't think she's of above-average intelligence. Compared to, say, a Sarah Maxwell (who i think probably is quite intelligent), or a Botkin Sister, I don't think Rebecca knows what she doesn't know. I don't think she's sad or unhappy with her life. I really sort of think she is one of the few who honestly WOULD be happy to marry young and crank out the bebes.

I hope for her that she does find someone to be kind to her. I worry that she's SO naive that she (and her crazy father) won't see the red flags of some sort of abusive asshole, and they'll just jump aboard the first train willing to stop at her station. So to speak.

[pixydust]

Everybody has SOMETHING to offer. Rebecca comes off as a sweet person who cares deeply about her family and friends. She could work at a daycare center or a nursing home. A faith-based facility would probably suit her best. She is definitely someone who belongs in a helping profession. And if she can operate a blog, then she is capable of learning how to work a cash register, if she ever wanted/needed to do so.

This! I think that she would make an excellent pre-school teacher or LPN at a nursing home with some education. If she dropped the fundieism she would prob make a good middle school guidance counselor (can't have the counselor telling girls that they are being felt up by their brothers friends because they have a clingy t-shirt over their non-existent boobs!). Rebecca has a lot to offer, with the right education and situation.

[emmiedahl]

This! I think that she would make an excellent pre-school teacher or LPN at a nursing home with some education. If she dropped the fundieism she would prob make a good middle school guidance counselor (can't have the counselor telling girls that they are being felt up by their brothers friends because they have a clingy t-shirt over their non-existent boobs!). Rebecca has a lot to offer, with the right education and situation.

That was my point. She does not have the education or the situation. I did not mean she was just a worthless person, but that she has been raised for a very narrow skill set and attitude that is unfortunately useless in the modern world.

[Sola]

It's highly unlikely she would drop the fundyism though. The only way i could see that happening was if she married and then through her husband, left that lifestyle and became more mainstream. I doubt Rebecca could do that off her own back. I completely agree with what Emmie has said; It isn't that Rebecca is a worthless person, she isn't! Not at all! But what life skills does she have? What trade can she do? Yes no doubt her mother has taught her to bake cakes, but is she good enough to run a business to support her family if needed. I doubt she is at all.

When we look at the fundie royalty, many of them do provide their children with trades. We see many photographers, builders, IT consultants, dressmakers, carpenters and doulas. These are all trades that can be done from the home and can provide or supplement an income. But what does Rebecca have? That poor girl has nothing. I am sure she is sweet, she certainly seems to be, but she comes across as a little dim - either through lack of education or her birth injury (probably both). Other than popping out babies what will her life be like? I really do hope she does find a good, kind and financially solvent husband who will love her and take care of her because without one, what will happen to her when her parents are gone.

[WonderingInWA]

I could see her and her sister shacking up together as spinsters. Maybe good ole' dad, the riveting author, will buy them their own trailer with all his book royalties. Mom doesn't look healthy AT ALL so she probably will do well to live to 50.

[contrary]

people, people! please!

THEY HAVE TAKEN THE WILTON CAKE DECORATING CLASS!

[WonderingInWA]

people, people! please!

THEY HAVE TAKEN THE WILTON CAKE DECORATING CLASS!

Oh, that's right! Well, they've got themselves a little home business then. But I have yet to see a single one of those awful cakes that I like. So. Much. Frosting. and So. Many. Garish. Colors. Yuck.

[bananacat]

Ok, I'm getting tired of people claiming that any SAHD could always fall back on working in a day care or nursery home. It's a little insulting to people who are actually qualified to work at those places. Most people want to leave their loved ones in the care of skilled caregivers. Being compassionate, seeming to like kids, or having experience in changing diapers isn't enough to cut it. You don't necessarily need a college degree for every aspect of caregiving, but you have to have more skills than just raising your siblings. And fundies would be especially unqualified because it would be difficult for them to deal with children without resorting to spanking. I wouldn't leave my kid with someone like that, no matter how wholesome they seem.

[WonderingInWA]

Ok, I'm getting tired of people claiming that any SAHD could always fall back on working in a day care or nursery home. It's a little insulting to people who are actually qualified to work at those places. Most people want to leave their loved ones in the care of skilled caregivers. Being compassionate, seeming to like kids, or having experience in changing diapers isn't enough to cut it. You don't necessarily need a college degree for every aspect of caregiving, but you have to have more skills than just raising your siblings. And fundies would be especially unqualified because it would be difficult for them to deal with children without resorting to spanking. I wouldn't leave my kid with someone like that, no matter how wholesome they seem.

Well, as a parent, I shopped around when I needed daycare early on and then a qualified preschool when I was finally able to be an at-home mom. I ended up paying more for daycare and preschool, but the instructors/caregivers had degrees in Earlly Childhood Education, which mattered to me and was one of my requirements when I first started learning the difference between educated and only having experience with siblings. They study child development theory and can really plug into the kids, not just making sure they have a clean diaper and survive the day away from their parents.

And there was an agency that certified daycares and preschools back when I was doing all my research (12 years ago now!) and I've forgotten the name of it. Might have been the NACCP -- I just don't remember. Too much mommy brain now...

[pixydust]

Ok, I'm getting tired of people claiming that any SAHD could always fall back on working in a day care or nursery home. It's a little insulting to people who are actually qualified to work at those places. Most people want to leave their loved ones in the care of skilled caregivers. Being compassionate, seeming to like kids, or having experience in changing diapers isn't enough to cut it. You don't necessarily need a college degree for every aspect of caregiving, but you have to have more skills than just raising your siblings. And fundies would be especially unqualified because it would be difficult for them to deal with children without resorting to spanking. I wouldn't leave my kid with someone like that, no matter how wholesome they seem.

Oh, I definitely think that she needs to go to college. Education she can get. Compassion? Love? Wanting to help people? Those aren't things that can be taught, and it seems like she has them.

[emmiedahl]

Well, as a parent, I shopped around when I needed daycare early on and then a qualified preschool when I was finally able to be an at-home mom. I ended up paying more for daycare and preschool, but the instructors/caregivers had degrees in Earlly Childhood Education, which mattered to me and was one of my requirements when I first started learning the difference between educated and only having experience with siblings. They study child development theory and can really plug into the kids, not just making sure they have a clean diaper and survive the day away from their parents.

And there was an agency that certified daycares and preschools back when I was doing all my research (12 years ago now!) and I've forgotten the name of it. Might have been the NACCP -- I just don't remember. Too much mommy brain now...

I think it is the NAEYC.

Caregiving jobs are hard. Let's say she has the minimal skills that it takes to get a certification to be a nurse's aide. I have done that job and it was hard. Not just physically hard, but mentally hard. Like getting punched by surprisingly strong patients with dementia, then getting attached to them because they are still cool, and then watching them die. And then washing their bodies so the mortician can get them, alone in a dark room in the middle of the night. How about changing the diaper of an old man who is trying to grab your boob the whole time? Could Rebecca even handle not proselytizing?

[WonderingInWA]

Yes, NAEYC -- thank you! Haven't really needed to remember that now that my kids are older.

And my mother has Alzheimer's and lives in a memory care unit of a local assisted living facility. And I thank God every single day for the people that care for her because I just can't. So, hats off to you, emmidahl, for doing what you have done for the loved ones of others. It is no small feat. Thankfully, my mom is not combative, but she's in the diapers and can't complete a sentence, and the staff turns over frequently at her care facility (not that she notices, but we do). I think that kind of job is highly stressful and takes a very special kind of person to do it.

BTW, my mom was a pharmacist for over 50 years and was a very bright woman. You would never know that today trying to have a conversation with her. Put she put food on the table, we had a nice house, and she put us through college. It takes a special kind of person who can see beyond the dementia and know people who are at the end of life once had very productive ones. Sigh.

[moreorlessnu]

She might make a nice visiting friend to elderly or home bound people. She could be someone who sits with them, enjoys a cup of tea, and chats with them for an hour or so. She wouldn't need nursing or any other skills because she wouldn't be performing skilled labor. Speaking with people outside her tight little circle might broaden her horizons.

[emmiedahl]

Yes, NAEYC -- thank you! Haven't really needed to remember that now that my kids are older.

And my mother has Alzheimer's and lives in a memory care unit of a local assisted living facility. And I thank God every single day for the people that care for her because I just can't. So, hats off to you, emmidahl, for doing what you have done for the loved ones of others. It is no small feat. Thankfully, my mom is not combative, but she's in the diapers and can't complete a sentence, and the staff turns over frequently at her care facility (not that she notices, but we do). I think that kind of job is highly stressful and takes a very special kind of person to do it.

BTW, my mom was a pharmacist for over 50 years and was a very bright woman. You would never know that today trying to have a conversation with her. Put she put food on the table, we had a nice house, and she put us through college. It takes a special kind of person who can see beyond the dementia and know people who are at the end of life once had very productive ones. Sigh.

I only did it for a few years. I am not tough enough and it did not pay much more than minimum wage. But I did it long enough to know that it is a very stressful job, not something a SAHD could jump into. And I was a preschool teacher afterward because *I had finished my degree*. No one would hire me before then.

[Haligh the Liar]

I disagree that Rebecca's life is worse than that of Sarah Maxwell et al. Sure, she's not fundie royalty, wealthy, or gorgeous, but looking at her birthday pictures, she went out with her mom and sister, and a family friend for shopping, lunch, etc. While this is nothing I'd want for my 21st bday, nor is it what I'd consider 'normal' for that age, it still looked like she had fun and was able to describe it as such, something forbidden for the Maxwells.

So, in short, her life may suck compared to what most of us had at 21, but she has more than constant bible and self deprivation. She may even be able to sleep past 6:00 and drink soda! This is not to say that I agree with her family's lifestyle, but still.

[VintageJen1984]

I'm not getting where the birthday celebration criticisms are coming from. I'm 27, and we have always done dinner out where I choose (within budget limitations, no $75 per person dinners...), either pumpkin pie or cheesecake (because I'm not a cake fan), and a few presents. My sister usually gets cookie cakes. I've had four birthday parties in my life, all before I turned 19. My sister has had more parties, but we're stepsisters, and that's the way they did things before her mom died. I'm thinking of throwing myself a birthday party this year if my financials are up to it, but that's only because Pinterest has shown me the wonders of twinkle lights in an abandoned building and homemade centerpieces and I want to do it I doubt I'll even have ten guests. Really, Rebecca!!!'s birthday was bigger than most of mine have ever been. Including my 21st, if that's what you are referring to.