Kelly Bates is pregnant

[xDreamerx]

Well, I don't. You can say whatever you like. I wasn't trying to imply otherwise. I just think perhaps you're bringing in your personal feelings or projecting. I still think they're attentionwhores and that's my opinion. You're entitled to yours.

[Deleted03]

And I am commenting that your comments that Kelly is an attention whore suck. You asked who does it, I said I do.

To be fair and all. I wasn't aware you got to determine when people can and can not comment on their personal experience when referencing other people's comments.

treemom I think you're far from the exception... I mean how many blogs just talk about the pregnancy, the baby, etc?

What if the kid has Down? this is such a strange thing to say. I personnally would not want to have a Down syndrom child and would take all possible steps preventing it for many many reasons, but I don't understand why it's bad if they have one? What is so bad about it? The child will be special needs but I'm not judging their response to a potential special needs kid.

Like treemom I don't think someone posting for the first time at 9 weeks saying they are pregnant after loosing the last pregnancy as being attention whore. Their blog is not even updated daily. It took them years to get one running! Now they have a daughter who's aspiring to be a musician and one son who is aspiring to be a politician. I would also put up a blog and try to get some PR out in case anyone's interested. If those two things are being an attention whore, well I think it is an unfair judgement. I'm not on this forum because I need attention and people to answer my posts either, but sure one could argue it is.

[Olivia]

Well, I don't. You can say whatever you like. I wasn't trying to imply otherwise. I just think perhaps you're bringing in your personal feelings or projecting. I still think they're attentionwhores and that's my opinion. You're entitled to yours.

Projecting? You agreed with Bananacat's statement about them being attention whores which included this:

Any other woman would be so scared of a miscarriage that she wouldn't announce until at least 12 weeks, probably longer if she had this kind of history with miscarriages.

I realize you didn't say that. But seriously, am I not supposedly to read that as a judgment on women who announce before 12 weeks when we're talking about "any other woman"? If they're attention whores for announcing early, then am I somehow not an attention whore for the same thing because I'm... not the person you dislike? (At least, not yet :))

I feel like I see a lot of that on the interwebs. "Person X (who we think sucks anyway) sucks because of Y." "I also do Y." "Well... that's different. X does lots of things I don't like, that's what makes Y seem so bad." I understand it, but I also think it's irrational.

Anyway, I agree they have too many kids and it's not fair to them, and that continuing to get pregnant doesn't make sense. I'll happily snark on them about that. But I don't care when they announce their ill-advised pregnancy.

[galaxygirl]

I just think it is up to the individual when to tell. I don't think koala was judging but yes, some came off a bit holier than though about the magical 12 weeks. Since I had two late term losses, well I guess I should hav waited for the baby to be born.

I agree that it's up to the individual. I posted the news of my pregnancy on my livejournal at 7 weeks, it's my first and was so excited that I just had to get it out of me. The original plan was to wait until 12 weeks, but that obviously didn't happen.

[bananacat]

Just to be clear, I don't think that every woman who announces a pregnancy this early is an attention whore or wrong to do so. But I think in the context of Kelly Bates, it is part of her attention-whore attitude.

And of course women are allowed to announce it whenever they damn well please, but that doesn't mean I can't snark on it.

[bananacat]

Michelle makes such a big deal about the Pill causing her miscarriage - but wth caused Kelly's couple and the one Anna Duggar had last year?

That's (at least) 3 to 1 for getting pregnant vs trying to avoid getting pregnant.

Conclusion: More babies are killed by "God's Will" than by birth control.

I wonder if Michelle is secretly gloating or even judging Kelly and assuming that she has done something sinful. Maybe these miscarriages make it easier for Michelle to deal with the fact that she's not getting pregnant anymore.

[FloraDoraDolly]

One of my friends announced her pregnancy when she was only eight weeks along. She's almost 40, had been battling infertility since she was a young woman, and figured her one adopted daughter would be her only child. I think she was so shocked when she found out she was pregnant that she *had* to tell everyone. She's 16 weeks along now and the doctor just told her all is well.

[marmalade]

Just me, but when I got pregnant at 39 (due date was my 40th b-day), I chose not to announce it because I'd suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks a few years prior. Around the 11th week, I told my parents and a few days later told the in-laws. I proceeded to miscarry two days later. Everyone knew the first time and I really didn't want that kind of huddling attention after the miscarriage if I happened to have another. Again, I'm more of a private person that way; like my mother, I prefer to lick my wounds with privacy. I realize other people are different and prefer the support of friends or, in Kelly Bateses' case, strangers as well, to share the joys and the sorrows.

Your pregnancy, your choice.

Back to Michelle, who knows for sure that she HASN'T been pregnant since Josie? She was complaining of nausea on the most recent episode of the show, which was taped in the late winter; she could have easily miscarried and kept it quiet. As others have pointed out on this thread, the Duggars' entire schtick is built around the premise that the Pill causes miscarriage, so they stopped taking it, yadda, yadda, yadda...18 kids later...

If THEY admit to a miscarriage, it pretty much shatters their entire thesis. They're pretty dumb, because Michelle would get tons of "God's Will" sympathy if she announced the loss of #20 and if there's one thing the Duggars love, it's attention.

However, they've made their bed and with the miscarriages of their frenemy, Kelly Bates, as well Anna's miscarriage, that bed has fleas.

[daharyn]

This is some fundie middle finger!!! Per my conversation with Michelle on Saturday they were going to see them THIS WEEK (wednesday I believe)... which means they either waited for Michelle to get there to announce, or did it while they're driving up to be sure the news was public...

How ya like them apples???

Oh, yeah. Right on!! I'd love to be a fly on that wall.

[Buzzard]

I wonder if they intended for that to be public yet or they had just written it waiting to tell the Duggars.

[treemom]

Just to be clear, I don't think that every woman who announces a pregnancy this early is an attention whore or wrong to do so. But I think in the context of Kelly Bates, it is part of her attention-whore attitude.

And of course women are allowed to announce it whenever they damn well please, but that doesn't mean I can't snark on it.

And we are allowed to say it is a shitty think to snark on.

[demgirl]

I definitely do NOT want to be a part of the argument on announcing pregnancy, but on a tangential topic, I will step out on a limb and say I think that the Bateses are attention whores who have simply not been lucky enough to get a television show the way the Duggars did. Evidence:

1. The Blog. No, it's not updated every day -- but it's certainly updated several times a week and the main theme is often "Look how special we are. Look how glorified by God we are. Look at the IBLP royalty we get to meet."

2. The appearances on 19 Kids and Counting. We know the Duggars have friends that are not featured on the show or are minimally featured. The Bateses have made a decision to be a major part of the show.

2. TV appearances: ABC News (01/2011)

3. Print Appearances: Daily Mail (11/2010), Knox News Centinnel (11/2008), The Mountain Press (06/2010), The Patriot Ledger (11/2009), THe Oak Ridger (11/2010), The Norwich Bulletin (11/2009), as just a sample.

4. The appearances as an IBLP family of note -- conferences, on the website, media events, etc.

To me, they meet the definition of attention whores who seek fame for their ability to procreate. Whether that has anything to do with her announcing her pregnancy, I have no opinion.

[MrsKay]

I've wondered how many losses Michelle has had, that they aren't admitting to. Seriously, a miscarriage is a pretty common thing in YOUNG fertile women; the older you get, the higher your risk. I'm betting on at least one since Josie, esp. taking into light Michelle's less than thrilled expression at the announcement of Grandbaby #2.

We told everyone that I was pregnant right away with BabyKay. I'd had a slew of miscarriages, several since his big brother was a year old, and we told as soon as we got my hCG numbers back from the lab. In the past, I'd waited, and it was really hard. I was having one miscarriage after another, and my family and friends, for the most part, had NO clue as to why I was upset or depressed, or why it was hard for me to be around newborns, pregnant women, baby showers, etc. I was also pretty damn sick of people asking when we were going to try for another, since we'd said that we weren't done yet. Also, I almost lost my older two late in pregnancy; for me, it's not a done deal until that baby is in my arms.

But the main thing was that I couldn't go through one more loss by myself. I needed to have support from other people, whatever happened. I also needed people to know about the little person inside of me, to have that person acknowledged for however long he got to stay with us, and for people to understand my grief if the worst happened. It was the best choice I could have made. There were some seriously scary times, and I felt a lot better knowing people were cheering me on, and that they knew why I was so afraid. I really needed that to get me by, emotionally.

Whatever floats your boat - I have no problem when someone wants to announce a pregnancy.

[Belle0000]

As many have been suspecting. She's 9 weeks along.

gilbatesfamily.com/blog/

[nutella addict]

I'm going to be very not snarky for a minute, and point out that although it seems unrealistic to us, it might be that Michelle is genuinely happy for her friend. I know it's not the best example, but in high school we used to have a language award which everyone (friends/teachers) told me they were sure I'd get, being the only student to study three languages besides English. Our year, they changed it to a general humanities award, and one of my best friends got it instead. I can honestly say I was genuinely happy for her, because I just can't be that angry about/jealous of her. If it had been someone else, I'm sure I would've been at least a little jealous, and probably more than just a little, but not with such a close friend. I was trying to see if Kelly had updated on her pregnancy by scrolling through the comments, and this part caught my eye:

Dear Joy,

The Duggars are very special people… They have learned to be content in whatever God’s will is for their life… This assurance and peace allows them to be able to rejoice with others over good news. They don’t fall prey to the trap of envy and bitterness that often results from comparisons. We have learned much from their faith and trust! When we first met, we had one more child than they did, but it was news for rejoicing when they passed us up. God has a plan for each of us. We tell our children, you’ll have different size houses, different size families, different talents, and different circumstances… learn to rejoice with one another and learn to be content with your own lot in life. We’ve shared our heartaches with the Duggars and they’ve encouraged us. Likewise, we’ve shared our good news and they’ve equally encouraged us! we are thankful for their friendship and example. And we too are praying for God’s will in their lives and hope to be able to rejoice with them and others if God allows their family to grow! I just started reading their new book and can’t stop crying through it over the testimony of their faith and over God’s goodness to all of us – through good times and bad times! Love, Kelly

"Joy" was asking how Kelly felt about telling Michelle, in a very happy "I'm so happy for you, may God continue to bless your family" sort of way, in case anyone wants context.

In case anyone is interested, they had a wonderful 10 week check-up and saw the baby and its heartbeat, so seems to be going better than the last one at least.

[Elle]

Tend the flock, ye moronic Bateses.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

The Blog. No, it's not updated every day -- but it's certainly updated several times a week and the main theme is often "Look how special we are. Look how glorified by God we are. Look at the IBLP royalty we get to meet."

This blog is identical in tone to any number of ATI family blogs. I suspect someone at HQ writes the actual posts with information gleened from emails or phone calls from the Bates.

I'm sure the ATI universe gags or yawns by now at the site of the Duggars. It takes new blood to keep the old happy. Gil & Kelly are just the latest family to be stuck in the spotlight of ATI. They will be followed by a younger version.

I think the Bates really, really needed the money. Tree work CAN be very successful, but I wonder with gas prices thru the roof, etc., how much he really makes. They said in an earlier interview that by income they qualified for, but rejected, food stamps and other government assistance. I think they finally just had to get some cash to survive. Remember, unlike the Duggars, they had 14 homebirths and I doubt they were all for religious reasons--cold hard cash to pay for a hospital was likely part of the problem.