Chaviva is BROKE and oh is this my entire wishlist?

[ilovetchotchkes]

Yea, this thread will wreck havoc on FJ's reputation for being hating haters and a pit full of vipers.

Kudo's to Lissar and Chaviva. :clap:

LOL keep this up and everyone will think we're super nice. And I have no energy for THAT sort of reputation.

Sorry if I sounded judgey Chaviva w/ my previous post about the amazon stuff- I'm pregnant and so exquisitely cranky its not even funny (I"m not sleeping well at all, period, the end which is why I'm up at 2 am when I was awake at 6 this morning) . I'm not one of those "glowing nice pregnant" women, if you see my glowing, its my eyes glowing red like i'm a demon or something. :lol:

[Sola]

This thread had gone surprisingly well. A misunderstanding occurred and was cleared up without anyone being lit on fire. The vacuum(which I've never really gotten the hang of spelling) was brought out and all is now well in the world.

I'm making celebratory cheesecakes. I will have cherry, strawberry and blueberry topping available for them shortly.

Blueberry cheesecake?

Have I ever told you that I love you?

[RR88]

Blegh. Unless they're wild blueberries, no thanks. Now, a RASPBERRY cheesecake… :D

[ilovetchotchkes]

Blegh. Unless they're wild blueberries, no thanks. Now, a RASPBERRY cheesecake… :D

I do not understand this fruit with dessert thing if its not chocolate I can't eat it for dessert, thus making any raspberry or blueberry cheesecake merely another part of the main meal.... :lol:

[lilwriter85]

Has she tired ebay for the shoes or any of the things she wants? My son-in-law got a pair of Vibrams on ebay for a lot less than retail.

I was also thinking of ebay when I saw the Vibrams. My boyfriend bought a pair there and there were about $20 cheaper than retail. Chaviva could also shop around on different sites or stores for lower prices.

[emmiedahl]

Chaviva, I really enjoy your blog. I don't always agree with you, but 'two Jews, three opinions' as they say.

There is nothing wrong with putting a donate button your blog. I thought the wishlist was hinting a little too heavily, but I understand now. I like to talk about things I wish I had and/or complain about being poor, but I never would want someone to interpret this as asking for gifts.

[spragger]

Yea, this thread will wreck havoc on FJ's reputation for being hating haters and a pit full of vipers.

Kudo's to Lissar and Chaviva. :clap:

Well, I am coming in to :roll: at Lissar.

Maybe if you did not jump to conclusions, Lissar, you wouldn't have had to write a disclaimer.

If being bi-polar is nothing to be ashamed of, then why does it require a bold disclaimer? Why aren't you correcting all your erroneous accusations in bold in every thread? How can you come on here defending mentally ill people and then panic about accidentally identifying somebody with an illness. At least, I think you were defending mentally ill people, because it seems more like you just wanted to tell somebody off. (And yes, there is a difference.)

The first time we ever "talked" you told me to read your posts and decide for myself if you have a reading comprehension problem. Well, I have, and IMO, you either do or you are just being so pedantic that you are unable to understand that a single word contained in a paragraph can have a greater meaning when placed in context. Nearly every thread I go in, if you happen to have commented, it's to correct somebody, or chastise somebody. It's like you can't even have an original thought. All you can do is criticize, argue with and complain about other people thoughts.You are so quick to assign blame, and interpret emotion to so few words in a post. It baffles me. Maybe you have no other place to vent you emotions, so I guess this as safe a place as any, but I get sick of you trying trying to take the high road all the time when you can say some pretty harsh things to people.

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, I am coming in to :roll: at Lissar.

Maybe if you did not jump to conclusions, Lissar, you wouldn't have had to write a disclaimer.

If being bi-polar is nothing to be ashamed of, then why does it require a bold disclaimer? Why aren't you correcting all your erroneous accusations in bold in every thread? How can you come on here defending mentally ill people and then panic about accidentally identifying somebody with an illness. At least, I think you were defending mentally ill people, because it seems more like you just wanted to tell somebody off. (And yes, there is a difference.)

The first time we ever "talked" you told me to read your posts and decide for myself if you have a reading comprehension problem. Well, I have, and IMO, you either do or you are just being so pedantic that you are unable to understand that a single word contained in a paragraph can have a greater meaning when placed in context. Nearly every thread I go in, if you happen to have commented, it's to correct somebody, or chastise somebody. It's like you can't even have an original thought. All you can do is criticize, argue with and complain about other people thoughts.You are so quick to assign blame, and interpret emotion to so few words in a post. It baffles me. Maybe you have no other place to vent you emotions, so I guess this as safe a place as any, but I get sick of you trying trying to take the high road all the time when you can say some pretty harsh things to people.

Uuuum, Lissar's point was that Troll had no business to use a mental illness as a slur against someone.

I think you are the one with a reading comprehension problem on this occasion, Spragger. Aided and abetted by that large chip on your shoulder. :roll:

BTW, does your self-defence of April 1st apply only to you? Have you been following her around the boards the last fortnight, waiting to have your moment...

IMO you read something into my 1st post that was not there. I'm glad I had a chance to follow up and clarify in my 2nd post. I can sort of see where you are coming from with my first comment. Possibly I could've added some punctuation in as well that would've helped. A lot is lost regarding facial expression and tone of voice when you are discussing things online.

[spragger]

I think you are the one with a reading comprehension problem on this occasion, Spragger. Aided and abetted by that large chip on your shoulder. :roll:

BTW, does your self-defence of April 1st apply only to you? HAve you been following her around the boards, waiting to have your moment... :dance:

I will say the same thing I said to Lissar in another post--this is not entirely about that thread. Yes, that is where I first came in contact with Lissar beyond recognizing her avi from lurking. But that is it. I haven't been following her around the boards. But I have read her comments in threads I've been in and noticed some patterns. We did have some "exchanges" in another thread--she didn't address these same things. She told me to look over her posts. I noticed a pattern. I keep running across the same BS. So, yes, I think she is one of the meanest people on here (accepting the people that are trolls), and I have no problem calling her out on it.

ETA: I also think it is BS that she stumbled all over herself to correct an honest mistake about a medical diagnosis, but says rude things to other posters and doesn't think twice about it. I've never seen so quick to apologize to anybody about something she was supposedly coming in here to defend. (And no, I am not just referring to her accusing me of slut-shaming.)

[Guest Anonymous]

Really, Spragger, concentrate on this thread, read it again (with your own disclaimer in mind)..... and you'll likely feel very silly. ;)

Lissar's comments were aimed at a Troll, who is a different entity to Chaviva, whom Lissar inadvertently made a false assumption about.

[spragger]

Really, Spragger, concentrate on this thread, read it again (with your own disclaimer in mind)..... and you'll likely feel very silly. ;)

Ok. Sincerely correct me if I'm wrong. Lissar came in to bitch a troll out for using the word bipolar (because that is her mission in life), concluded Chaviva was bipolar (identified her wrongfully as bipolar from doing a google search and finding there was another blogger with the same name who is indeed bipolar), then went back and edited her post to be sure that people know Chaviva is not in fact bipolar.

So, if I am wrong about that part of the thread, sincerely let me know. I have been awake for 20 hours, so it's possible I'm misreading. I WILL go back and read the thread again, however. Maybe you can clarify in summary for me.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sincerely.... Lissar came in to bitch a troll out for using the word bipolar (because that is her mission in life)

No, I'm done - fuck off and learn to read. Or don't. Whatever.

[spragger]

Lissar's comments were aimed at a Troll, who is a different entity to Chaviva, whom Lissar inadvertently made a false assumption about.

I get that she was jumping on the troll. I guess that is her mission in life. Maybe she has nobody to bitch out IRL. It seems more like she needs somebody to bitch out than somebody to stand up for, but I get that it's a fine line. That I didn't have a problem with.

My problem was that she was so terribly apologetic to Chaviva when there is in fact nothing wrong with being bipolar, even taking the effort to go back and edit her post in bold to make sure anybody reading will see it early on. However, she cannot respond to newbies (not me, but yes, this sort of applies there, a simple response would've worked in that case) who she makes assumptions/accusations about? Accusations that are much more hurtful (in my case.)

So it appears I did understand the thread, but you didn't get what I found annoying. I guess you can write that off as "poor writing" on my part if you don't feel like responding. It's an excuse I hold in reserve when I don't feel like responding after I make accusations.

[Guest Anonymous]

I get that she was jumping on the troll. I guess that is her mission in life. Maybe she has nobody to bitch out IRL. It seems more like she needs somebody to bitch out than somebody to stand up for, but I get that it's a fine line. That I didn't have a problem with.

Several of us jumped on the troll. We often do. It is not necessarily our mission in life, but it is a pretty common occurrence on this snark board. Something you may need to get used to, if you don't want to experience further hurt feelings.

My problem was that she was so terribly apologetic to Chaviva when there is in fact nothing wrong with being bipolar, even taking the effort to go back and edit her post in bold to make sure anybody reading will see it early on.

Lissar apologised for making an incorrect attribution about Chaviva. A verifiable factual attribution that was clearly wrong (which is different to an accusation whose truth may not necessarily be verifiable). In the same way someone else apologised recently for calling me "Alice". Not because "Alice" is a bad name, but simply because it is not MY name. Correcting factual errors is, you know, a fairly common social nicety....

However, she cannot respond to newbies (not me, but yes, this sort of applies there, a simple response would've worked in that case) who she makes assumptions/accusations about? Accusations that are much more hurtful (in my case.)

"Not you" or "you"?

It sounds as though you are still very angry and feel it is deeply unfair that Lissar did not apologise to you over an entirely different, unrelated matter, when you would have really liked an apology because your feelings were hurt... I'm not sure why you are picking out Lissar, because a few of us jumped on your first post, which seemed to me too, until you explained otherwise, to be an example of slut-shaming.

I hear that you feel hurt about that, it is a shame, but really, this is an internet snark board, and people here won't always agree with each other. Most of us have been on the giving and receiving ends of hurt feelings and, happily, some of us have managed either to deal with our feelings, or to find a way to build bridges. If you stick around, you'll probably see the way that works out in practice. But really, in my experience, it rarely works out as a consequence of one member following another around, calling them out on rather random non-offences.

So it appears I did understand the thread, but you didn't get what I found annoying. I guess you can write that off as "poor writing" on my part if you don't feel like responding.

I'm still not sure you did understand the thread, but I think I get what you find annoying. I'm sorry but I don't think this problem is down to "poor writing" so much as "poor social understanding" and "limited ability to deal with hurtful issues and move on appropriately".

It's an excuse I hold in reserve when I don't feel like responding after I make accusations.

You can feel free to pull whatever excuses out of the bag that you like. I'll continue to speak as I find.

[spragger]

Lissar apologised for making an incorrect attribution about Chaviva. A verifiable factual attribution that was clearly wrong (which is different to an accusation whose truth may not necessarily be verifiable).

So, are you saying that her problem is she can't truly verify what she first believed about me to be untrue? FFS, that's just ridiculous.

It sounds as though you are still very angry and feel it is deeply unfair that Lissar did not apologise

Yes, I believe I covered that in a thread about rape, that we were both in and she never once responded to me.

I'm not sure why you are picking out Lissar

Because as much as you (and she) refuse to believe it, it is not just about that one thread, but about other posts of hers. Unfortunately at this point there is no way I am going in those other threads to stick my neck out for anybody because then she (and presumably others) are just going to jump all over it. I am not going to curse any newbie by attaching my name to theirs in an argument against her. She would not concede to anybody I was trying to defend.

a few of us jumped on your first post which seemed to me too, until you explained otherwise, to be an example of slut-shaming.

More people said they did understand than didn't. And I would've had no problem with Lissar if she'd bothered to read and follow the thread as it progressed, and you know it.

It all boils down to this. The very first comment Lissar ever said to me on FJ (not of "the" thread) was how it was well known of FJ that people would be held accountable to come back and defend any strong opinions, comments, accusations, etc. that they made, so they'd better be willing to back them up with evidence. Many people agreed with her that this is just how it works here at FJ. My experience with her has been just the opposite of that. Both times I've tried to create a dialog with her she has refused, and I've seen it happen with others as well. It's BS. Being snarky doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be an asshole.

*ETA: It is sort of weird because Lissar and I have never actually differed on any of our opinions on any topics. When I say "disagree" I mean "argue" I think the further on it gets and there is some extrapolation to "people here disagree all the time" there is a disconnect. There has never been a differing position on general politacal grounds. We seem to agree on most points. I can agree to disagree with people that I respect, but Lissar has not shown me any behavior that would place her in that category.

[FaustianSlip]

Oh, Lordy. I knew that was too good to last.

As far as the wish list, eh. I have an Amazon wish list and a Pinterest page and stick stuff up there that I like/want to remember for future discretionary spending opportunities/holiday or birthday lists/save up for. I'm fortunate enough to have a good job with a good salary, but sometimes you still encounter stuff you like/want and can't have at that moment. I don't think having a dream list is particularly acquisitive or crass; if anything, it's helped me from making stupid impulse purchases. Well, sometimes. Ahem.

I have a couple of pairs of Five Fingers, and they're super comfortable (and ideal for wandering around places like China, where it would be nice to wear sandals, but the odds of stepping in something gross are... high). I also love the stuff on Modern Tribe, but a lot of it is too spendy for my blood. Instead, I bought a Harry Potter mezuzah. Because I'm secretly twelve years old. And it looks like they no longer have the Harry mezuzot, but it's basically like the ones shown, except with Harry potter on top in his quidditch getup.

[LucySnowe]

I don't think having a dream list is particularly acquisitive or crass; if anything, it's helped me from making stupid impulse purchases. Well, sometimes. Ahem.

[...] Instead, I bought a Harry Potter mezuzah. Because I'm secretly twelve years old. And it looks like they no longer have the Harry mezuzot, but it's basically like the ones shown, except with Harry potter on top in his quidditch getup.

Nothing wrong with wishlists. [Mine has one item on it: a Macintosh Airbook. Unless 'an agent and a three-book contract and a Booker Prize nomination' are wishlist items.] It's the (interpreting that someone is) announcing a wishlist in such a way as to imply that anyone should buy said items that bugs me enough to snark.

Those mezuzot are awesome. Reminds me of the kippot for little kids which have cartoon characters on them: http://www.mazeltops.com/juvenile3.htm And now I wish to know halachic opinion about tzitzas covered in Yoda. :D

[ilovetchotchkes]

Nothing wrong with wishlists. [Mine has one item on it: a Macintosh Airbook. Unless 'an agent and a three-book contract and a Booker Prize nomination' are wishlist items.] It's the (interpreting that someone is) announcing a wishlist in such a way as to imply that anyone should buy said items that bugs me enough to snark.

Those mezuzot are awesome. Reminds me of the kippot for little kids which have cartoon characters on them: http://www.mazeltops.com/juvenile3.htm And now I wish to know halachic opinion about tzitzas covered in Yoda. :D

I now have to purchase the Oscar the Grouch and Elmo kippah for my 2 year old. He saw it and goes "MAMA! mine! LALA (that's what he calls Elmo) "

[Guest Anonymous]

So, are you saying that her problem is she can't truly verify what she first believed about me to be untrue? FFS, that's just ridiculous.

No, I was saying that there is a difference between a simple attributional error which is easily corrected (on the Chaviva issue) and a difference of opinion (which you took to be an accusation) on your earlier post. Sorry if I wasn't clear. If you want further clarification on what I'm trying to say, just ask (nicely), but if you just want to call me 'ridiculous' then I'll probably not be back to respond.

Because as much as you (and she) refuse to believe it, it is not just about that one thread, but about other posts of hers. Unfortunately at this point there is no way I am going in those other threads to stick my neck out for anybody because then she (and presumably others) are just going to jump all over it. I am not going to curse any newbie by attaching my name to theirs in an argument against her. She would not concede to anybody I was trying to defend.

I don't 'refuse to believe' anything. I have actually looked up the history between you and Lissar because I vaguely remembered the first incident and wondered what else had gone on. Going back to the start....on the post of 1 April, Lissar did actually come back to you, in quite a lengthy post, which she finished up by saying:

I didn't call you names or anything, I disagreed with your wording and I thought the article was poorly done. (Not your fault at all on the article bit, obviously.) I don't think that I put words in your mouth, either. I don't think you owe me an apology and I don't think I owe you one. I didn't decide that you're an awful person, I just had a problem with what you said. I'm not really sure what other resolution you'd like us to come to.

It's true she didn't come back to the thread again after you made a further response, but it's not as if she ended on a "Fuck you". So I do think you're over-reacting there.

I see also another occasion, on April 9, where you did indeed say something in agreement with Lissar, but you started your post by saying:

Lizzar, you have annoyed the fuck out of me in the past, but you are 100% right on this point.

Personally, I think it was quite understandable that Lissar picked you up on that first portion of your post. The essence of your message was lost to her because your opening was rude and your tone edgy. As you yourself have said: tone is lost on the internet, and although it might have sounded "lighthearted" in your own mind, it came across as plain rude. It sounded like you were making a concession to Lissar, rather than agreeing with her (in a similar way that the "even if" comment you made in relation to the raped girl in your opening post, sounded to some of us like a concession).

More people said they did understand than didn't. And I would've had no problem with Lissar if she'd bothered to read and follow the thread as it progressed, and you know it.

There goes the 'edge' in your voice again. FYI, I didn't "know" what your problem was with Lissar, or I wouldn't have asked.

It all boils down to this. The very first comment Lissar ever said to me on FJ (not of "the" thread) was how it was well known of FJ that people would be held accountable to come back and defend any strong opinions, comments, accusations, etc. that they made, so they'd better be willing to back them up with evidence. Many people agreed with her that this is just how it works here at FJ. My experience with her has been just the opposite of that. Both times I've tried to create a dialog with her she has refused, and I've seen it happen with others as well. It's BS. Being snarky doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be an asshole.

Not everybody reads every thread through to the end. Once posts drop off page 1 or 2 they tend to die. If you want to alert a poster to a continuing issue you have, in order to hold them 'accountable', then you can bump the thread or PM them. (Though you'd do well to see that we generally hold people accountable for their ideas. Not whether they seem to like us or not)

Alternatively, you could just get over it. But making random attacks on unrelated posts is just asking for others to call you out.

*ETA: It is sort of weird because Lissar and I have never actually differed on any of our opinions on any topics. When I say "disagree" I mean "argue" I think the further on it gets and there is some extrapolation to "people here disagree all the time" there is a disconnect. There has never been a differing position on general politacal grounds. We seem to agree on most points. I can agree to disagree with people that I respect, but Lissar has not shown me any behavior that would place her in that category.

Maybe she's just not that into you.

[Guest Anonymous]

anniec, I have spragger on ignore, but she continues to flail around at me.

spragger, I will not apologize to you because I don't think I did anything wrong. When I mess up, I will absolutely apologize to the person I have wronged. As I clearly stated, I added a disclaimer to my posts not because I feel that being bipolar is an insult, but because my posts were inaccurate.

Anyway, I have actually been quite gentle with spragger. I have never called her names, etc. I honestly believe that she is so very butthurt not because I took issue with two of her posts (the initial one in question, which I came back and explained extensively, so her whining that I didn't is bullshit) and a second one in which she agreed with me but had to jab at me with:

Lizzar, you have annoyed the fuck out of me in the past,

And I responded, which applies just as much here:

How is that relevant?

We disagree with one another here all the time. I disagree with valsa and Austin and keeperrox and deelaem and emmidahl and treemom and I like and respect the hell out of them. I've had hammer and tongs fights with CanadianHippie and we are complete opposites on several issues. I still think she's an extremely smart person and I value her posts. You are taking one disagreement in one thread way too personally. A disagreement, not even a fight. No names were called and it wasn't even remotely nasty. That's your right - go ahead. But frankly I don't see the profit in it. If every person here brought up their petty grudges all the time this place would be a mess. There's posters here I don't care for at all, but unless they're actively doing something problematic I don't see any reason to mention it. I roll my eyes, scroll past their posts and get on with my life.

Get over the fact that someone disagreed with you one time over a week ago and act like an adult. Or don't and I can foe you. That's a last resort for me but hell, whatever at this point.

I believe the real reason for her constantly butthurt condition is this right here:

It's a very weird experience because you read people's comments and you get to like and respect certain posters, you think they are funny, or smart, that your opinions align with theirs. Then when you finally register, they are--in some cases--not welcoming, very legalistic. It's off-putting to say the least.

(She said that in two different threads.)

Boo hoo. You created imaginary/false friendships with people because you lurked on a messageboard and you liked their posts. Then when you actually talked to them they weren't your bestie best friends because the people who post here are real, and real people don't always follow the script in your head when they interact with you. I held off bringing this up because I kind of felt sorry for you over the whole thing but now I'm well and truly over it. This is creepy business. Feel free to continue this little vendetta because I don't return the lady-boner torch you carry for me, but you're not making yourself look good. I won't respond to you further, so you will be pissing into the wind.

Maybe she's just not that into you.

So not into her. Seriously she's on my foe list. I truly think she wants attention from me for whatever reason, so I feel sort of bad giving her any. At the same time, I don't appreciate her dragging her clearly very personal issues with me into multiple threads, either. All she has to do is leave me the fuck alone, I've preemptively returned the favor.

[LucySnowe]

I now have to purchase the Oscar the Grouch and Elmo kippah for my 2 year old. He saw it and goes "MAMA! mine! LALA (that's what he calls Elmo) "

So I'm guessing you end up reading this about a billion times every Hanukah?

http://www.amazon.com/Elmos-Little-Drei ... 0375873961

(Apologies if I am single-handedly trashing your discretionary budget for the month....)

[ilovetchotchkes]

So I'm guessing you end up reading this about a billion times every Hanukah?

http://www.amazon.com/Elmos-Little-Drei ... 0375873961

(Apologies if I am single-handedly trashing your discretionary budget for the month....)

LOL we have that. My parents found it and he went absolutely batshit over it. " vt ty fnttg " <--- stepped away for a second to throw lunch in the oven and this is aforementioned 2 year old's contribution to FJ apparently.... (I believe it translates to " Doug Phillips is a tool " )

[LucySnowe]

" vt ty fnttg " <--- stepped away for a second to throw lunch in the oven and this is aforementioned 2 year old's contribution to FJ apparently.... (I believe it translates to " Doug Phillips is a tool " )

Wrong thread, kid, but I approve of your sentiment.

[spragger]

The essence of your message was lost to her because your opening was rude and your tone edgy.

I don't see how you can fault me for saying that Lissar has annoyed the fuck out of me (because she has) when she said to doggie, "Go fuck yourself."

You can argue that he is blaming a rape victim further upthread.

To that I say: She put me in league with those who would when I am myself a victim of rape. So, excuse me if I was pissed off about the fact that she refused to acknowledge that she misunderstood me.

So, yes, I think she is an inconsiderate person and I have not seen evidence otherwise. I don't see why I shouldn't call her on it.

I was unaware that she had chosen to ignore me. If that's the case, then I guess her comments were insincere.

ETA: I am not following her around. I have never "hid" anybody because I hate missing posts as it risks taking their comments out of context. (Because you can only see what somebody else quotes, right?) So, I would rather not to do that. Also, I might see her actually say some really kind things to people. IDK, I've actually never had a problem with anybody on another message board that has gotten to the point where I would hide them.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't see how you can fault me for saying that Lissar has annoyed the fuck out of me (because she has) when she said to doggie, "Go fuck yourself."

You've said previously that you majored in English? Why not get out your reading comprehension books and think again about what I said, and how you interpreted it?

Seriously, I've browsed a few more of your threads, and you do seem to have a particular issue with Lissar that is a bit creepy. I think that issue, whatever it is, may be skewing your reactions to her posts. :?