Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 43

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A visit to TFG’s presidential library in the future:

 

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[ADoyle90815]

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More idiocy—she has four sons and no daughters. To whom was she speaking?

 

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"Special Master's Master"

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A federal judge intervened yesterday in the case of Donald Trump stealing government documents, many of which are classified, and appointed an independent arbiter, known as a “Special Master,” to review the over 11,000 documents to determine which should be deemed attorney/client privilege and executive privilege.

On paper, this sounds fair. Golly gee wilikers, this will be an independent person who makes sure both sides are treated equally. But it’s not fair. It’s bullshit. This Special Master will choose what material the government can’t use to investigate Donald Trump.

As Sarah Marshall said in the film, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

Donald Trump waited two weeks after the FBI served a search warrant on his country club to find stolen government documents. After Trump’s request for a Special Master, the Department of Justice’s response included photos of classified documents (under covers) proving that at the very least, Trump possessed these documents and was obstructing justice by still having them.

How does Donald Trump’s inept lawyers win this ruling when it took them over two weeks to come up with the simple strategy of asking for a Special Master? Easy. They got an inept judge.

The Special Master isn’t needed in this case as most of the documents have already been analyzed. Now, the judge has ordered that none of the material can be used to investigate Trump until the Special Master has finished going over the 11,000 documents. You would think the Special Master would only need to go over documents between Trump and his lawyers, but no. The judge threw a huge wrench into this case.

DOJ can appeal this but that process may take longer than the Special Master’s review. Also, any appeal would be heard by a three-judge panel from the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit in Atlanta. Of its 11 active judges, six were appointed by… wait for it… Donald Trump. So, when three of its 11 judges go review an appeal to investigate Donald Trump, all three of them may be Trump appointees.

And, if DOJ won an appeal through a Trump-contaminated federal court, Trump could appeal to the Supreme Court, who may or may not take it, but you know they’d take it. There are three Trump appointees on that court along with Ginni Thomas’ husband. This is a bunch of Chancellor Palpatine shit. Mace Windu was right to try to cut his head off.

This judge in Palm Beach ruling in Trump’s favor said she had made her decisions to “ensure at least the appearance of fairness and integrity under the extraordinary circumstances,” while rejecting the Justice Department’s implicit argument that Trump be treated like any other investigative subject.

What would have really ensured the “appearance of fairness and integrity under the extraordinary circumstances” would have been if this Trump-appointed wingnut judge had recused herself. Is she married to Ginni Thomas too?

Trump is not being treated like any other investigative subject. Trump is being treated with privilege. He is literally asking for privileges.

So, who is this judge, Aileen Cannon? Surprise! She’s a Trump appointee.

She’s never served on any bench until she was placed on the Federal District Court for the Southern District of Florida AFTER Trump lost the election. Remember that Mitch McConnell bullshit in rejecting hearings for Merrick Garland in 2016, saying the voters needed a say? In this case, the voters rejected Trump and gave the Senate to the Democratic Party, but Mitch rushed more judges onto federal benches. In case you haven’t been paying attention, Republicans don’t give a flying fuck about the will of the people.

Did you know that since President William McKinley’s 1897 inauguration, Senates have confirmed only 15 nominees of defeated presidents? Here’s another fun fact: Of those 15, 14 were Trump nominees. Mitch McConnell rushed through 14 nominees to federal courts AFTER Trump lost and the people had chosen Joe Biden to be the next president. For fuckers who love to toss around words like “unprecedented,” this was fucking unprecedented.

And naturally, Judge Aileen Cannon is a member of the Federalist Society. This is some Stonecutter bullshit.

Now the question is: Who will Judge Cannon appoint as the Special Master? Donald Trump Jr? Rudy Giuliani? Sidney Powell? Tucker Carlson? The MyPillow Guy? Special Masters are often former judges. Maybe Judge Cannon will pick Judge Jeanine Pirro.

Trump, Mitch McConnell, Rupert Murdoch, and the Federalist Society have set our federal justice system back decades.

 

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"Trump and Tories"

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If our system to choose a president was like the United Kingdom’s in selecting a prime minister, then in 2023, the Republicans would most likely install Trump as president if they retake the House this November.

In the United States, the Republican Party consists of sycophants and Donald Trump chooses who will be the nominees in most elections. In the UK, the Tories made Liz Truss grovel for their votes.

Voters don’t directly elect their prime minister in the United Kingdom (which is made up of four nations, England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland). The majority party selects the prime minister and at this time, the Tories are the majority. The Tories are the conservatives.

Another difference between is that the United Kingdom isn’t simply a two-party system like ours. While Tories and Labour (liberals) are the two largest parties, the party in control usually needs help from one of the lesser parties to form a government.

One detail that is very similar between both nations is that the systems are fucked up.

In the United States, the Electoral College makes it possible for the president to be the candidate who didn’t win the popular vote. In fact, the Republican Party has only won the popular vote once since 1988. In case you’re counting, that’s 33 years, yet the GOP has taken the White House three times since.

Since we elect United States senators by state, and not by population, Republicans often control the Senate despite millions more Americans voting for Democrats. Democratic senate candidates outperformed Republican candidates in 2018, a year of the blue wave, by over 18 million votes, yet failed to win the Senate. In fact, the GOP actually gained seats in the Senate while the House fell to Democrats who gained 41 seats.

And in the House, districts are gerrymandered in what amounts to candidates choosing their voters instead of voters choosing the candidates.

And don’t get me started on how Republicans are making it harder for non-white Americans to vote. Our democracy is at risk.

The United Kingdom just selected its next prime minister and she’s Liz Truss. Actually, the UK didn’t select her, the Tories did. And the UK’s next prime minister won the job with only 60,339 votes. There are over 47 million eligible voters in the United Kingdom but Truss was selected by just 0.4% of them.

You can argue that since the Tories are the majority, then UK voters selected them to choose their next prime minister, though I’m sure when voters last went to the polls to choose Members of Parliament (MPs), most of them had never heard of Liz Truss. So, no. UK voters did not choose their next PM. Tomorrow, Truss and current PM, Boris Johnson, will travel to the Queen’s estate in Ireland where she will invite Truss to form a new government. Hopefully, by the time they get there, someone has informed the Queen who Truss is.

Voters may not get an actual say in any of this until 2025 unless Truss calls for an election. If she really wants to keep the job, I doubt she does that. And if Donald Trump becomes president (sic) again in 2024, the United States may never have a real presidential election ever again.

Another similarity between Tories and Republicans is that they always choose wankers.

Music note: I listened to Kaiser Chiefs and Foo Fighters.

Creative note: I don’t like to give away Easter eggs, but I was talking to my padawan Alexandra Bowman while making this and asked her for one reference. So, the Doctor Who Easter egg is from her.

Also, since the cartoon has been published, I’ve gotten more grief that the Number 12 bus does not go to Chiswick and I put the driver on the wrong side.

 

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"Sympathy For The Symphony"

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I blogged some roughs this morning, made a YouTube video of them being drawn, wrote this cartoon, then drew it, and now it’s after 3 p.m. on a Sunday. So, I’m taking the rest of the day off which means you’re not getting a real column in today’s blog. However…

I don’t want to hear fascist Republican goons who have spent the past two years with the most immature and incompetent insult whine about President Biden being divisive. You can’t whine that someone’s rhetoric is divisive to the nation while you’re trying to burn it down.

See ya’ll tomorrow, kids.

Creative note: Proofreader Laura asked me why some of the music notes are backward. No reason really other than to change things up and be goofy. I’ve always done that with musical notes in cartoons and never thought about it until now. It also shows just how horrible the music is that they’re creating.

Also: Before I turned the music on, I had “let’s go, Brandon” in my head to the tune of “Oh, my darling.”

 

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"Fascists Pardons"

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Ya’ know, for a bunch of fascists, they sure are whiny snowflake babies.

President Biden called out MAGA fascists in a major primetime address from Liberty Hall in Philadelphia.

Biden called out MAGA fascism as a threat to democracy and framed the midterm elections as a battle for the “soul of the nation.” He’s right. We could lose our nation if we put Republicans in power. Republicans have given up on democracy and have embraced fascism.

On January 6, 2021, Donald Trump sent white nationalist terrorists to overturn the election he lost. Donald Trump refused to grant a peaceful transfer of power. Nearly two years later, most Republicans still believe Trump won despite the lack of ANY evidence. The GOP has elected (irony) election deniers as their nominees in the upcoming midterms. The Republican Party has changed laws in states with GOP-majority legislatures making it harder for minorities to vote. In Florida, the Republican governor is attempting to outlaw liberal thoughts. Republicans are making it illegal for schools to teach history that they claim makes white people feel bad for being white. Republicans are banning books. And then they’re crying that some of them are being called fascists by the president.

Biden actually went out of his way not to call ALL Republicans “semi-fascists.” He made it clear it was only for the MAGA element. He was being overly kind. But, you knew Republicans and the Fox News fucks were going to cry about it because they’re all entitled whiny babies.

White Christian conservatives believe they are the most persecuted of any group in world history. If you don’t believe me, just ask one of them.

Despite the president’s clarity, Tucker Carlson lied about what the president said.

Tucker claimed the president believes “anyone who disagrees with Joe Biden is by definition a fascist” and suggested the president considers all Republicans semi-fascists. Carlson then claimed that Biden’s comments were “effectively a declaration of war against half the country.”

Tucker finished up with, “What do we do to fascists? Well, we fought a war and killed them.”

Except now, Tucker. Now, you guys award and praise them. You lie for them. You cover up for them.

Sidenote: Motherfuckers on Fox News need to stop calling Donald Trump “The President.” sure, you can refer to him as “President Trump (sic),” or if you’re in the same room with him, then you address him as “Mr. President, (sic)” or when pointing at him in the same room, then you can say, “The President (sic)” if it makes you feel warm and toasty. For example, you can say to someone, “Do you hear that squishy sound when Trump walks? It’s because The President just shit his diapers.”
But when you’re on TV, don’t say “The President” when referring to Trump because he’s not the president. Don’t say “The President” when you’re referring to Carter, Bush, or Obama. You should only say “The President” when you’re talking about the president. We only have one president at a time and right now, Joe Biden is THE president. Sidenote over.

I heard one Republican analyst state that Republicans heard Biden call all of them fascists. So they’re hearing what he didn’t say. Another whined that the president (this is how you use it, kids) isn’t unifying, which is something the president ran on. But since the campaign when Biden called for unity, there was an insurrection and Republicans used lies about election fraud to make it harder for a portion of the nation to vote.

But the president is right. The MAGA portion of the Republican Party are fascists. They are willing to install Trump as a dictator, even if he doesn’t win. They’ll actually claim that stealing an election and overthrowing the government is democracy. While the president said it’s just the MAGA portion of the GOP that’s poisonous to democracy, the majority of the GOP is MAGA. The majority of the Republican Party shoves and eats fascist bullshit.

And Donald Trump made the president’s point. Donald Trump claimed he’s paying legal fees for some of the white nationalist terrorists who tried to overturn the election and install him as a dictator. I’m sure the money isn’t actually coming out of Trump’s wallet, but from his “Save America” PAC, which isn’t advertising that funds will go to pay legal fees for terrorists. I seriously doubt Trump is spending his own money. He takes his supporters’ money, he doesn’t give them his.

Trump also gave another great reason not to elect him president. Trump is promising to give pardons to the white nationalist terrorists who tried to destroy our democracy.

Donald Trump calls Vladimir Putin a genius and wants to pardon terrorists who attacked our nation. He also stole classified government documents, which many of are still missing. Joe Biden, the president, calls Putin a war criminal and tells fascists they’re fascists.

It’s clear which of the two men is a patriot and which is the traitor. In case you’re slow, Trump is the traitor.

The Republican crybaby analyst may be correct and the president’s words turn them off and alienate them. But, I like that the president is speaking the truth. I like that he’s calling it what it is.

You can put me squarely in the camp of Fuck Those Fascists.

 

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