Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 43

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"Toxic Water or Toxic President"

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The newly-passed PACT Act includes almost $300 billion in new financial benefits for veterans suffering from illnesses caused by burn pit smoke in Iraq and Afghanistan, Agent Orange spraying in Vietnam, and several other military toxic exposure events.

It also contains provisions known the “Camp Lejeune Justice Act,” which allows civil suits against the government for injuries related to water contamination at the North Carolina Marine Corps base from August 1953 to December 1987. More than one million individuals could be covered by the measure. This explains why you’re seeing a Camp Lejuene water lawsuit commercial every 30 seconds.

The commercials typically start by screaming, “If you or someone you love served at Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune prior to 1988, you may be eligible for financial compensation!” Monster truck show commercials don’t scream this loud. The commercials are becoming as annoying as those with Ice T. selling car warranties with Ric Flair (Woooo!), the gutter fuckers, and even Kars-4-Kids. OK. They’re not as bad as the Kars-4-Kids, but they’re getting there.

And, just because you clicked on this blog, you’re probably going to start seeing them on social media…and maybe even this blog. My bad.

And since you’re seeing so many commercials about this, that means a lot of it might be kinda scammy. The thing is, while you may qualify to sue the government for drinking toxic water at or near Camp Lejeune, it may take years to see any money. And if you do receive any money it may reduce the benefits you’re currently receiving. By all means, do check in on it. Just ask all the right questions like, “Are you trying to fuck me over?”

Basically, this is ambulance chasing. Lawyers sniff some money and off they go. For the lawyers, it’s not as much about helping afflicted individuals as it is about making themselves richer. The lawyers who do this kind of law typically don’t have any shame but…they might discover it if Donald Trump came calling because good lawyers don’t want to work for Donald Trump. Even a lot of shitty lawyers don’t want to work for Donald Trump.

Most lawyers relish the opportunity to work for a former president…unless that president is Donald Trump. It’s not that lawyers care if their client is guilty. Trump is guilty of so much shit, but he still deserves legal representation. The thing is, Trump won’t keep his mouth shut.

A lawyer will devise a strategy and even make an argument, then Trump will send out a “truth,” make a stupid statement on Newsmax, or bark out something contradicting his lawyers at a hate rally in North Dakota. And then, the lawyers get stiffed.

Donald Trump doesn’t like to pay lawyers. Even now, he’s paying them with his supporters’ money. You know that Save America PAC that’s supposed to be “saving America,” but in reality, is saving Trump’s ass. The PAC has raised nearly $100 million and some does go to MAGA candidates, but most is being spent on fundraising events at Trump country clubs. This means the money goes to Trump. He’s also using a huge chunk of it on legal fees. Though, he does have a history of refusing to pay lawyers.

In fact, after being sued for not paying contractors who worked on his properties, Trump would later be sued by the lawyers who defended him in those lawsuits. Now, there’s a new story that in the 1990s, Trump tried to squirm out of paying a $2 million legal fee by paying the lawyer with a horse.

In a book by New York Times reporter David Enrich: The unidentified lawyer, from a law firm that worked for Trump in the 1990s, visited the former president (sic) at Trump Tower after he refused to pay. “Trump made some apologetic noises. Then he said: ‘I’m not going to pay your bill. I’m going to give you something more valuable.’” The former president (sic) then “rummaged around in a filing cabinet” and pulled out a deed to a horse supposedly worth $5 million. 

“Once he regained the capacity for speech,” the lawyer reportedly said, “This isn’t the 1800s. You can’t pay me with a horse.”

How much do you want to bet that horse was NOT worth $5 million and was eventually sold to a glue factory? I know. Sad.

And if it’s not bad enough not getting paid for working for a tiny-finger ketchup-flinging baby of a client who can’t keep his mouth shut, lawyers could end up as targets of criminal investigations working for Trump. They can end up in jail. They can have their licenses to practice law suspended.

Rudy Giuliani, who is still owed payment from Trump for all his election lying bullshit, lost his license to practice law in New York AND Washington, D.C. Technically, his license is suspended. Why? Because he lied in court. Lawyers can’t do that. Do you know how hard it is to defend Trump and not lie? It’s impossible.

Christina Bobb and Evan Corcoran are two Trump lawyers who may be targets of FBI investigations after lying about Trump no longer having any documents. As it turns out, he did. The only defense available for a lawyer defending Trump after lying for Trump may be, “Trump lied to me.”

Fortunately for Trump’s current lawyers in trying to stall the investigation into him stealing classified government documents is a corrupt judge.

Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell represent the quality of lawyers who represent Donald Trump. Powell’s lawyers argued in court that you can’t believe anything she says, so she shouldn’t be held liable for her election lies.

For Trump Lawyers’ sake, let’s hope their lawyers are better than they are.

Creative note: I got this idea from my Friend Mike Peterson, who does the Comic Strip of the Day thing. He blasted out a Facebook post about Camp Lejeune and ambulance chasers, though he referenced South Carolina when the base is in North Carolina. C’mon, Mike. North and South Carolina are not the same places. They’re not the Dakotas. But anyway, thanks for the inadvertent assist.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"MAGA Masters"

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This is my concern…or another one of my concerns. If a Trump-appointed judge can install a Special Master to go over every single document the FBI seized from Trump’s bedbug-ridden country club (MAGA-Lard-O is it?) to decide what the Justice Department can and can’t use as evidence (mostly can’t here), then who will she pick?

These people do their gooning with a straight face. They pretend they’re impartial and doing their jobs correctly. They claim they’re serving the people of this nation when in fact, they’re just serving one man. It’s why they all have brown noses.

This judge in Florida who granted Trump’s request for additional privilege and to stall the investigation is obtuse to the fact that we all know she’s a Trump appointee whose confirmation was rushed through the Senate in Trump’s final days in office. In this case, she hasn’t just stalled the investigation. She’s stopped it entirely until the Special Master says he’s done. How long will that take? Hell, maybe Trump will be president (sic) again by the time he says he’s done. Maybe Merrick Garland will no longer be the Attorney General. Maybe by the time the Special Master is done, the Justice Department will revert back to being the Department of Protecting Donald Trump’s Bulbous Orange Ass.

With a straight face, this judge publicly rejected DOJ’s argument to treat Trump like any other subject of an investigation and issued an opinion that he should receive special treatment. The judge has concerns that there’s a public perception of bias against Trump, but no worries about the perception she’s biased toward him.

I made a comment in yesterday’s blog that the judge may appoint a Trump goon to be the Special Master… someone like Rudy Giuliani, the MyPillow fucker, or Tucker Carlson. Then I thought, that’s a cartoon and I better do it before another cartoonist reads my blog and steals it.

When the Special Master appoints a Republican to the post, expect her to do it with a straight face. Expect Trump to issue a “truth” stating he trusts the Special Master’s judgment. Expect Fox News to praise the appointment. Expect Kevin McCarthy to ejaculate praise all over Twitter for the appointment. When all that happens, that’s when you’ll know we’re fucked.

How can so many Trumpers and MAGAts scream without any evidence that the Justice Department is corrupt and has been politicized but not have any concerns that a Trump-appointed judge just paused an investigation into Donald Trump stealing classified documents and storing them in a Country Club?

With a straight face, these people are hypocrites.

 

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[Xan]

This is my favorite photoshop of that pic with Donald and the queen:

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"God Save The Queen"

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As you know by now, Queen Elizabeth II died yesterday at the age of 96. Her reign of 70 years and 214 days is the longest for any British monarch. Unless you’re 71 or older, Elizabeth was queen for your entire life. Now begins the reign of King Charles III.

My ancestry is British. According to Ancestry.com, I’m 87 percent British. I’m also ten percent Irish so there’s some UK in there too. So I feel a bond with England, especially when it comes to music and comedy. Food, not so much. Who wants beans for breakfast?

Anyway, I like the monarchy. I like that it’s a constitutional monarchy. I admire Queen Elizabeth and believe in my heart she was good for the United Kingdom and the world. I admire her strength and resolve. And I don’t dread the reign of King Charles. Besides, it’s not like we have a choice in the matter. I think he’s going to be a good king. He had a great teacher. It could be worse. At least it’s not Andrew.

 

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