Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 41

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"Get Your Goon On"

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What did we learn from yesterday’s live hearing of the January 6 House Committee investigating Donald Trump’s failed coup attempt? We learned Donald Trump is a corrupt criminal on the levels of a dime-store mobster who believes he’s above the law. A goon is gonna goon. Wait, we already knew that. But, we learned a particular detail of his gooning.

At the end of yesterday’s hearing, vice chair and Republican Liz Cheney dropped the juicy little nugget that Donald Trump called a witness. This occurred after the last hearing on June 28 with former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson.

Cheney said the witness has yet to appear in the hearings and didn’t take the call but alerted their lawyer, who told the committee. Cheney said the committee passed along the information to the Justice Department.

“We will take any effort to influence witness testimony very seriously,” she said.

Trump’s response was to have one of his spokesgoons issue a kinda-sorta denial. The goon tweeted, “The media has become pawns of the Unselect Committee. Liz Cheney continues to traffic in innuendos and lies that go unchallenged, unconfirmed, but repeated as fact because the narrative is more important than the truth.”

First off, Mr. Goon, how do you know it hasn’t been confirmed? As for it going unchallenged, that’s Trump’s fault. How many people has Donald Trump told not to cooperate? How many Republicans who were a part of the coup attempt have testified? How many of the congressional goons who sought pardons from Trump have cooperated? A goon’s gotta gaslight.

The reason this is important is that it’s witness tampering. That is about as illegal as say…calling up election officials and telling them to give you 11,780 votes that don’t exist so you can win an election. We know that Trump does like to call people and extort them. Hello, Ukraine. We also know he likes to use burner phones and flush documents down toilets.

It was revealed during the June 28 hearing that other witnesses have been contacted by Trump goons with one saying (according to Cheney), “What they said to me is as long as I continue to be a team player, they know I’m on the right team. I’m doing the right thing. I’m protecting who I need to protect, you know, I’ll continue to stay in good graces in Trump World. And they have reminded me a couple of times that Trump does read transcripts.”

Well, at the very least, he has the transcripts read to him. This is the guy who couldn’t read daily briefing materials unless they contained photos of him.

So, what reason would Donald Trump have to call a witness? His best defense at this point is that it was a butt dial. He does have a lot of butt and it wouldn’t be the first thing that could be blamed on Donald Trump’s giant orange stupid ass.

But isn’t it awesome that during an investigation to determine if Donald Trump committed crimes (he did), he commits even more crimes? Yes. Yes, it is awesome. What would be even more awesome would be if Donald Trump goes to prison for a very long time, like for the rest of his life. It is possible that Donald Trump is indicted for crimes committed trying to derail the investigation. Remember, Richard Nixon didn’t resign because he planned or initiated the break-in at Watergate. He got caught in the cover-up.

Sedition and witness tampering is serious business. Donald Trump and his goons believe they are above the law. The entire Trump family believes they’re royalty. They also believe that if Trump says it, then his saying it makes it true. During the Nixon administration, it was believed that it was not illegal if the president does it, no matter what that “it” is. The Trump administration had the same belief, despite Watergate proving Nixon wrong. Perhaps Donald Trump believed his status as president (sic) was above that of other presidents. It wasn’t just being president (sic) that made Trump better than everyone else. It’s that Trump believes being Trump makes him better than everyone else. But this is the moron who believed being president (sic) and a Trump made him immune to COVID.

Hopefully, Donald Trump isn’t immune to the law.

Goons gotta go to prison.

 

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"Pro-Rape Republicans"

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Ohio Republican congressman Jim Jordan tweeted that the story of a ten-year-old leaving Ohio to receive an abortion in Indiana was a lie. After it was confirmed to be true, he took the tweet down, then he lied.

Being that he’s a cheap lying despicable vulgar piece of crap without any shame, it was business as usual for Jordan, who many like to refer to as “Gym” Jordan after it was revealed he ignored sexual assault among the students he coached while he was a wrestling coach at Ohio State University.

Jordan’s first defense for the tweet was to point out the rape was committed by an undocumented immigrant. Then, he blamed the media, stating he was just commenting on one of their headlines which didn’t really make any sense and was another lie. Jordan was retweeting a report from conservative news outlet the Washington Examiner, which was reporting that Ohio’s Attorney General, Dave Yost, had yet to find any evidence that the claim was true, which was cited by President Biden. Jordan retweeted the report with the comment, “Another lie. Anyone surprised?”

Then, Jordan blamed President Biden claiming that doubting him is “usually the right thing to do,” despite the fact the president didn’t lie. Maybe Jordan was thinking of the last president (sic).

Jordan said he wasn’t calling the child a liar though he literally called the story “another lie.” He refused to apologize or express regret. Is anyone surprised?

After reading about this yesterday, I tweeted to Jordan that maybe he “thought the 10-year-old girl was lying about being raped because he thought she was a college wrestler.” A lot of my readers wanted me to make that my next cartoon, but I didn’t want Jordan to be the focus of it. The focus here belongs on all Republicans.

Republicans wanted this story to be false because it reveals the inhumanity of banning abortions. They believe cases of ten-year-old rape victims needing abortions would be extremely rare examples, yet we have one less than three weeks after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. In Ohio, abortions are banned after six weeks, even in cases of rape and incest. This child’s pregnancy from her rapist was at six weeks and three days.

Instead of pursuing the case, Ohio’s Attorney General, Dave Yost, chose to go on TV and deny it existed. He told Fox News, ““We have regular contact with prosecutors and local police and sheriffs—not a whisper anywhere.” This was 11 days AFTER the Indianapolis Star reported that Dr. Caitlin Bernard of Indiana had performed an abortion for a ten-year-old rape victim from Ohio who could not legally terminate the pregnancy in the child’s home state. And three days after Biden spoke passionately about the case at the White House, saying, “She was forced to have to travel out of the state to Indiana to seek to terminate the pregnancy and maybe save her life. Ten years old—ten years old!—raped, six weeks pregnant, already traumatized, was forced to travel to another state.”

Yost told another news outlet, “Every day that goes by, the more likely that this is a fabrication. I’m not saying it could not have happened. What I’m saying to you is there is not a damn scintilla of evidence. And shame on the Indianapolis paper that ran this thing on a single source who has an obvious ax to grind.”

Instead of going on TV and calling the story a lie, Yost could have simply walked the six blocks from his office in the state capital to the headquarters of the Columbus Police and peeked inside their crime reports. If he had done so, he would have found that the Columbus police had received a report of a ten-year-old rape victim in the same time frame reported by the newspaper.

Fox News’s Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and Jesse Waters all called it either a “lie,” a “hoax” or “Biden’s abortion story.” After it turned out to be true, they all shifted their focus on the rapist’s immigration status in order to deflect from the fact they were all wrong and to cast blame for the rape on President Biden’s “open borders” policy. Jesse Waters even took credit for the arrest, as though it wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t on TV calling it a lie.

After the rapist was arrested, Tucker still said the facts “didn’t make sense.”

There is no real surprise that there’s no accountability at Fox News, but what about The Wall Street Journal? Well, they are owned by the same company.

The Wall Street Journal cast doubts on the story in an editorial titled, ““An Abortion Story Too Good to Confirm.” Yeah, but it was confirmed. The Journal wrote, “All kinds of fanciful tales travel far on social media these days, but you don’t expect them to get a hearing at the White House.” Actually, we got used to it during the Trump administration. Remember “migrant caravans?”

The Journal also wrote, “There’s no evidence the girl exists,” and dismissed the word of the doctor involved in the case: “You may not be surprised to learn that Dr. Bernard has a long history of abortion activism in the media.” You may not be surprised to learn that conservatives make shitty journalists. In the future, you can say the Journal has a long history of being chock full of bullshit.

After discovering they were wrong, the Journal added an editor’s note at the bottom of the editorial which should have read, “Yeah, every line you just read and got gleeful over…yeah…that was a bunch of bullshit. Our bad.” Realizing an editor’s note wasn’t good enough, or that it’s not what responsible journalists do with such a huge fuck up, they wrote an entirely new editorial. Was it about how much they suck? Nope.

The Journal wrote a new editorial titled, “Correcting the Record on a Rape Case,” and blamed law enforcement for not coming forward with the information. The Journal never apologized or admitted it was at fault for publishing misinformation. They never owned it or apologized to the family of the rape victim.

The thing is, it’s not law enforcement’s job to report. It’s the news outlet’s job to get the information, especially from law enforcement which has a history of suppressing information and lying. You do that by asking questions and probing. The Journal didn’t do that. Instead, it followed the lead of other conservative news outlets in casting doubt and calling a ten-year-old rape victim a liar. While not having any proof of the existence of a ten-year-old rape victim, none of these outlets bothered to find out if what the president of the United States was talking about was true or not. The fact that a ten-year-old girl was raped in Colombus, Ohio in the time period the Indiana doctor reported was very easy to discover. None of these conservative news outlets or Ohio’s idiot MAGAt Attorney General or its Trumper dumbass congressman with the weird chin and shoulders bothered to check before calling it a lie.

Now, Indiana’s Attorney General wants to investigate the doctor who performed the abortion. To him and other Republicans, she’s committed a larger violation to the ten-year-old’s body than the rapist did. Isn’t one dumbass right-wing fucknut state attorney general in the midwest enough?

And you know what else is true? MAGAts on the internet are going to continue to call it a lie. You know that will happen if it’s not going on already. And if they do accept she was raped, they’ll probably claim the immigrant did it with Hunter Biden and there are photos on his laptop proving it. Dammit, I gotta stop writing material for these goons.

What else is true is that these cases are going to continue to happen. This is why Republicans are trying to shift focus now, now just from their lies but from the fact that not allowing incest and rape victims, even those as young as ten years old, to have abortions is a horrifying policy.

Forcing a child to give birth to her rapist’s baby isn’t pro-life. It’s pro-birth and it’s inhumane. A lawyer for National Right to Life said this rape victim should have been forced to have the baby. Most Republicans don’t want to say that out loud, though they actually agree with it. They’d rather scream about Joe Biden, the media, and brown immigrants and hope you don’t notice that a child was forced to give birth to a rapist’s baby because abortions were banned in her state.

All these news outlets, Ohio’s shitty stupid attorney general, and its shitty stupid congressman owe the rape victim and her family an apology. Instead, they’ll probably just gaslight while creating new laws making it illegal to leave the state for an abortion.

If Republicans retake the House, Jim Jordan will most likely be the chairman of the Judiciary Committee.

As I said, we’re going to see a lot of repeats of this story.

 

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