Bontragers/Bowers/Helferich 9: Oh Nos! Chelsey Married a Maxwell!

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, IsmeWeatherwax said:

I do like how Allison posted the pics showing the stair rails, she wants to say shes living in a real house!

I think it's the attic bedroom of the Sr. Helferich home of the red walls and heavy furniture that dates to somewhere around the 70's or 80's. That one picture definitely looked like an RV kitchen but maybe they have a little kitchenette of their own in the attic bedroom. Maybe it's an attic apartment ala' the Morton attic apartments above the barn. 

Allison used to dress much better. I think her husband/his family have very strict modesty standards that she has to follow. She used to wear dresses/skirts above the knee, for example. And single t-shirts without layers hiding the fact that she has breasts and a clavicle, as women do. She wore flannels & denim shirts/jackets a whole lot, now that I look, but that's probably a big part of the little bit of personal preference she has & can do anything about. 

She didn't have to wear leggings under her skirts/dresses, she didn't have to wear length extenders under her skirts/dresses, she didn't have to wear several t-shirts to cover up everything that might even slightly indicate she is a female with skin.

 

[ophelia]

It'll be interesting to see how Praise will dress now that she married into the Bontrager family since their standards seem to be less strict and somewhat practical.

[usedbicycle]

I wonder if Chelsy and Allison's relationship will change along with their increasingly diverging dress standards. 

Chelsy is rocking her skinny maternity jeans. Meanwhile, Allison is posting things like "To the girl wondering if there are still real men out there: There are. They still open the doors and want girls to dress like ladies."

It's hard not to read it as an attack towards husbands who don't care if their wives wear jeans or dresses. 

I think Allison's new baby will knock her off her high horse. Everything is very cerebral and ideological for her right now: mariage, body image, femininity, family... Nothing like a real baby and lack of sleep to bring you right back to reality. 

[Tangy Bee]

Just a funny thought, but I have always opened my own passenger door. Never thought about sitting there waiting for him to open it. Yes, there are plenty of times men have held doors open for me...but so have women and I have done the same. It's just being polite and being manly has nothing to do with it. 

[usedbicycle]

31 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Just a funny thought, but I have always opened my own passenger door. Never thought about sitting there waiting for him to open it. Yes, there are plenty of times men have held doors open for me...but so have women and I have done the same. It's just being polite and being manly has nothing to do with it. 

I would cringe if a guy opened a car door for me. What a waste of time to walk all the way around the car to get to his seat. 

I totally agree that not slamming doors in people's faces is the right thing to do, no matter who it is. So is opening a door for someone carrying heavy bags or pushing a stroller. 

Reminds me of a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry doesn't hold the door for his butch lesbian hairdresser because at a distance couldn't tell that she was a woman, and then of she got offended and he wouldn't apologize of course (man I love that show). Just don't be a prick and hold the door for everyone. 

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, Tangy Bee said:

Just a funny thought, but I have always opened my own passenger door. Never thought about sitting there waiting for him to open it. Yes, there are plenty of times men have held doors open for me...but so have women and I have done the same. It's just being polite and being manly has nothing to do with it. 

My ex always opened the car door for me. It bugged me, in a lot of ways, but he thought it was something special he was doing for me, so I let it go. I didn't get all of a flutter about him being a manly man. I actually thought it was a waste of time & energy but I know his parents so I know where he got it from and just let it go. It didn't make me think he was a manly man. It didn't affect what I thought of him at all. 

Last Sunday, we went out to dinner for Mother's Day. My mom & I were sitting on a bench next to the restaurant's door, waiting for my sister & nieces. At one point, an older couple was coming up the walk, one using a walker, not quite to the door. I could see them from where I was sitting but they weren't close enough for anyone entering before them to stand there, so as the door started to fall shut from the last people entering, I just grabbed it & held it open. Ultimately, I am pretty sure I held that door open for more than five minutes, for anyone who wanted to walk in because after the older couple, there was just a big influx of people (including penis bearers) going in. It was pretty funny, actually and just about everyone was laughing about it as they walked in. Myself included. I didn't let go of it until the rest of my family arrived and we went into the restaurant ourselves. (Again, some members of my family own a penis and I still held the door them). 

Point being - it's not a manly man thing to hold a door for someone. It's a human thing to be a nice person. Females and males alike can do it and can also be assholes about it. It's just a nice thing to do for someone. 

Fundie girls are fed such a line of BS about "worldy" men and women that they actually believe their dresses &  extra special femininity are the reason men hold doors for them. They're so indoctrinated they are incapable of seeing humans as being nice & considerate...humans....without religious indoctrination).

 

Edited May 16, 2021 by fundiefan

[JermajestyDuggar]

My husband and I both believe that you shouldn’t be polite to someone based on their genitals. You should be polite based on their being a human being. So hold the door open for men, women, children, and even Donald trump. But maybe fart when he walks up.

[SPHASH]

On 5/15/2021 at 10:11 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Thanks for the reminder, I've been meaning to read Prairie Fires.

I've read and recommend it.  Spoiler alert: Rose Wilder Lane is a little shit.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

I've read and recommend it.  Spoiler alert: Rose Wilder Lane is a little shit.

I've known that for years!  

[SPHASH]

On 5/15/2021 at 8:20 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Yay Pioneer Girl and Pa Ingalls being a big ol' scamming patriarch my favorite subject!  We have a thread on that somewhere and when it gets activity it always makes my day.

My heart bled for Caroline when I read how they'd have to move in the middle of the night because old Charles was skipping out on their debts.  I am sure even Pa Ingalls didn't recognize himself in Landon's version of him with all the ethics and such.

In Pa's defense most of his debts was rent.  He was running a hotel at the time and his business partner stole his share of the profits.  Pa asked his landlord if he could wait for the rent.  The landlord who was an asshole not only insisted he be paid but threatened to call the sheriff if he didn't.  So that's why Pa packed the family up in the middle of the night and left Burr Oak.  Supposedly Pa did pay off the rent once he got resettled in Walnut Grove.  Laura never wrote about Burr Oak in her books because it was such a terrible experience there.

Edited May 17, 2021 by SPHASH

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Someone posted in the unmarried fundies section that the Bontragers put up an Instagram post advertising Taylor, their only adult single child. I'm still rooting for a Rod-Bont wedding, because the Rods are the only fundies we follow whose situation might improve by marrying into the Bontragers.  (Also it wouldn't suprise me if Marlin thinks he's too good for Jill, but they have the same basic beliefs so they're equals.)

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Someone posted in the unmarried fundies section that the Bontragers put up an Instagram post advertising Taylor, their only adult single child. I'm still rooting for a Rod-Bont wedding, because the Rods are the only fundies we follow whose situation might improve by marrying into the Bontragers.  (Also it wouldn't suprise me if Marlin thinks he's too good for Jill, but they have the same basic beliefs so they're equals.)

Or....since our opinions don't affect their actions in any way we can root for them to leave their cult and not root for more fundy marriages to keep the cult going?  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Or....since our opinions don't affect their actions in any way we can root for them to leave their cult and not root for more fundy marriages to keep the cult going?  

Well, I think if they were going to leave, they would have left already. Obviously I would be okay with any of the Rodigues or Bontranger kids leaving. 

There has been near constant discussions surrounding these families (Bontragers and Bowers) and making matches between underage girls, which I always find troubling.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Well, I think if they were going to leave, they would have left already. Obviously I would be okay with any of the Rodigues or Bontranger kids leaving. 

There has been near constant discussions surrounding these families (Bontragers and Bowers) and making matches between underage girls, which I always find troubling.

If people are shipping underaged teens to adults that is troubling.  I saw the Johannah posts and IIRC there was pushback on that, as there should be.

[CaptainFunderpants]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If people are shipping underaged teens to adults that is troubling.  I saw the Johannah posts and IIRC there was pushback on that, as there should be.

People were speculating Johanna and Charlie which is just barf a thousand times. There's a seven year age gap and she's 15!

With Taylor... I wonder if Mary Maxwell could be a match? There's only a four year age gap and doesn't Taylor have Bible Bee money in addition to his farming responsibilities? Would Stevehovah allow that? It seems like one of her best chances at "escape."

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

People were speculating Johanna and Charlie which is just barf a thousand times. There's a seven year age gap and she's 15!

With Taylor... I wonder if Mary Maxwell could be a match? There's only a four year age gap and doesn't Taylor have Bible Bee money in addition to his farming responsibilities? Would Stevehovah allow that? It seems like one of her best chances at "escape."

I'm sorry, Bible Bee money?!  ?  Details please....exactly how lucrative is that?!

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm sorry, Bible Bee money?!  ?  Details please....exactly how lucrative is that?!

$100,000

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

$100,000

 

[petrushka]

13 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

With Taylor... I wonder if Mary Maxwell could be a match? There's only a four year age gap and doesn't Taylor have Bible Bee money in addition to his farming responsibilities? Would Stevehovah allow that? It seems like one of her best chances at "escape."

I don't see Steve shopping his daughters to other fundie families.   Mary, Anna and Jesse attended a Bontrager family camp or something like that a few years ago.  That's probably how Jesse got to know Anna Craig.  If anyone showed interest in the girls, it obviously didn't get too far.  IMO, Mary seems too delicate for farm life, but it's nice to imagine a Maxwell daughter leaving the compound.

[fundiefan]

2 hours ago, petrushka said:

I don't see Steve shopping his daughters to other fundie families.   Mary, Anna and Jesse attended a Bontrager family camp or something like that a few years ago.  That's probably how Jesse got to know Anna Craig.  If anyone showed interest in the girls, it obviously didn't get too far.  IMO, Mary seems too delicate for farm life, but it's nice to imagine a Maxwell daughter leaving the compound.

I do agree with this. Farm work is physical labor. It's hard fucking work. It's not "letting" or polishing cabinets or cleaning ceiling fans. I don't think any of the Maxwells are cut out for something as sincerely intense as farming. Their idea of intense is, well, just read any of Sarah's blog post. She is pretty consistent in calling things intense, whether it truly applies or not. Point being, aside from maybe John who does the irrigation stuff, all the Maxwells are too dainty and precocious to do hard labor. Yes, they "built" / remodeled their houses and they have work parties to clear mulch, but honestly, not one of them would be able to handle rising at 4 to milk the cows and muck the stalls or spending hours in the fields planting/harvesting. 

The kidults spent time at Bontrager events as part of John & Chelsy's courtship. It wasn't a sincere interest in hanging out with another family and having friends. The last two boys got a marriage out of those couple years of actually being with another family without Steve being the leader or teacher or "pastor". Maxwell's do not really play well with others. Steve's control issues pretty much guarantee that his daughters will never be hanging out at a ladies retreat or going to a family camp or even a Bontrager performance.

[Lgirlrocks]

have to get those unmarried kids out of the house the moment they are old enough

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 4/30/2021 at 2:32 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Winner winner chicken dinner! It was Noah and Abby.

Christopher Maxwell was their wedding photographer. He posted the pictures on his blog. Some Bontragers and some Maxwells at the wedding. Jesse Maxwell's wife Anna was a bridesmaid. 

[IsmeWeatherwax]

Dear lord those pictures are awful. Chris really has no talent for photography, If I was the bride I'd be upset that these are the reminders of the "best" day of my life.

[fundiefan]

God, those pictures. One, they look like every other wedding he has ever taken pictures of. Same poses, same "techniques", same...everything. Two, they are awful. Who in the world wants their wedding pictures to be crap? Do they live with crap just because he's a good kirstchen with a camera?

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

I don't think they are all crap. There are a few good ones. The problem is Chris has no clue how to edit.  Instead of just showing us the 10 best he seems to think we want to see every snap he took, including one with rolls (WTH)?  There are others that would just benefit greatly from some cropping.  In general, looking at those pictures makes me have a better insight to the weird things Maxwell's apparently think are 'interesting'.