Seriously Steve 3: Relaxing His Grip as He Prepares to Turn 70?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, kpmom said:

I feel really bad for the people Steve "greets" at his church.  He asks questions, not to get to know people, but to judge them and point out how they're doing everything wrong.  He has many Seriously  and Dad's Corners where he writes about doing this.

I'd also think it was a bit creepy if someone sought me out, asked me a ton of questions, and then wrote my name down and sought me out again after the service.  I would not go back to that church.

Seriously, I acknowledge that I'm far less social than most but this would creep me out to the point I wouldn't go back either.  I would assume he was putting me on a list of some kind, or had purient interest.  (how is purient not in spell check?  It's a word.)  ETA prurient is the word (thanks @Alisamer ) which spell check does recognize.  But it can't give me that option for just missing the first r?  Rude!  If I could spell I wouldn't need ya, spell check.)

Although I'm sure in his world only Teri or a Maxwell daughter could approach me, what with the potential for me to eye trap him with contrasting buttons or such.

Edited May 13, 2021 by HerNameIsBuffy

[Alisamer]

7 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Seriously, I acknowledge that I'm far less social than most but this would creep me out to the point I wouldn't go back either.  I would assume he was putting me on a list of some kind, or had purient interest.  (how is purient not in spell check?  It's a word.)

Although I'm sure in his world only Teri or a Maxwell daughter could approach me, what with the potential for me to eye trap him with contrasting buttons or such.

Is it "prurient" maybe?

But yeah Steve comes off as creepy AF to me, with his obsession with boobs and control freak tendencies.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

This may be offensive to some Christians so fair warning, but this song always brings Steve to mind about how the God he worships is so hyper focused on the small details for people who believe pray in a particular way, in a particular church, to a particular version of a particular God whilst not seemingly bothered by the bigger issues in the world.

Song starts about 11:03.  Just remembered how super NSFW the lyrics are, I apologize.

Spoiler

 

 

34 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Is it "prurient" maybe?

But yeah Steve comes off as creepy AF to me, with his obsession with boobs and control freak tendencies.

Thank you!  I even looked it up and missed the r, showing I can neither spell nor read.  

 

Edited May 13, 2021 by HerNameIsBuffy

[Hane]

Stevehovah’s suggestions here are something we at my little UU church have to beware of. We always have a coffee hour (well, pre-COVID), and have learned that expressing too much interest in newcomers can look like love-bombing and scare them away. This can be off-putting to people who are new to religion or who come from backgrounds like Catholicism, where people usually go to Mass and then GTFO.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, Hane said:

This can be off-putting to people who are new to religion or who come from backgrounds like Catholicism, where people usually go to Mass and then GTFO.

The religious aspects aside, this was a huge selling point for Catholicism when I was practicing.  Masses were 40 minutes and gtfo.  We had pancakes to get to, and since I'm not a joiner I did like that leaving right after wasn't considered rude.  When I went to church with my fundy-lite mom it took forever to leave since they considered an Irish exit a personal affront.  

[fundiefan]

I wouldn't ever be in a church where LORD Steve could approach me, but overall, I am very uncomfortable with people I've just met who use my name. 

It's not sincere & it's creepy. It's salesmen schtick.

Of course, my creep-radar would go off in Steve's presence almost immediately so I don't think he'd get as far as learning my name. I sure as hell would never share it with him.

He is a creeper, plain & simple. 

 

 

 

[thoughtful]

I only read the excerpts here, but I suspect Steve's suggestions have nothing whatsoever to do with making friends or showing love to people. They are about proselytizing.

In church? Sure. Bro Gary, Steve Anderson and Steve Maxwell may be as different as night and day in most ways, but this they share. Just because someone is a regular church attender and/or claims they are saved/Christian, these guys are still suspicious about their salvation or doctrine, and want to pick at them.

Hovering, watching, listening, "befriending," and, as Timothy told Paul Paul told Timothy ?, being willing to "reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine" is all just doing something in the cause of Christ, to them.

They even do it with long-time, well-established church members, not just newbies and visitors. It often sounds, to me, like some of them spend most of their time fussing about one another's salvation; doubting, arguing, testing, preaching.

It leaves the impression of being the fundie male's version of bar bets, trivia competitions, or arguing about sports.

[fundiefan]

3 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

I only read the excerpts here, but I suspect Steve's suggestions have nothing whatsoever to do with making friends or showing love to people. They are about proselytizing.

In church? Sure. Bro Gary, Steve Anderson and Steve Maxwell may be as different as night and day in most ways, but this they share. Just because someone is a regular church attender and/or claims they are saved/Christian, these guys are still suspicious about their salvation or doctrine, and want to pick at them.

Hovering, watching, listening, "befriending," and, as Timothy told Paul Paul told Timothy ?, being willing to "reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine" is all just doing something in the cause of Christ, to them.

They even do it with long-time, well-established church members, not just newbies and visitors. It often sounds, to me, like some of them spend most of their time fussing about one another's salvation; doubting, arguing, testing, preaching.

It leaves the impression of being the fundie male's version of bar bets, trivia competitions, or arguing about sports.

I think they are actually insecure about their own "salvation" and need others to be like them in order to validate their choices / beliefs. If others join them, they can't all be wrong, right? So, of course that makes them right. 

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

I think they are actually insecure about their own "salvation" and need others to be like them in order to validate their choices / beliefs. If others join them, they can't all be wrong, right? So, of course that makes them right. 

That's a distinct possibility. I wonder if it varies based on the individual's balance of insecure angst vs. bullheaded arrogance.

Not that the seemingly bullheaded arrogance couldn't actually be concealing insecure angst, but I think some people really are just that full of themselves and their own decisions and opinions.

Also, intelligence, age, why they started believing, and the willingness to self-examine may come into play.

I'd be more likely to see the self-doubt possibility in Steve Maxwell than in Gary or PP. He strikes me more as someone who ran to a belief as a refuge from some shame and temptation in his past, needs it desperately, and may have some doubts.

To continue my comparison to the strongly-held opinions of non-fundies, Gary and PP strike me more as the fundie equivalent of a guy in a sports bar who bellows "Fuck you all with your Clemens, Martinez and Koufax - there's a reason the award is named for Cy Young!"

And means it.

?

 

[treemom]

I can’t wait to read whatever grandpa Simpson letter Steve writes for seriously so that he can work out his anger over Chelsy yet again wearing jeans.  I’m sure it will be about control.

[Hane]

Once again, @thoughtful nails it!

@HerNameIsBuffy, when I was a practicing Catholic, I sometimes attended services at my relatives’ Baptist church, and wished we had a coffee hour the way they did. Things like that mean even more to me now that I’m a single empty nester—I may be an introvert, but people-time can be my medicine.

[MamaJunebug]

57 minutes ago, Hane said:

I may be an introvert, but people-time can be my medicine.

You have just verbalized what I’ve tried for decades to figure out how to say.  So many thanks!!

Edited May 14, 2021 by MamaJunebug

[courtlylove]

3 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

You have just verbalized what I’ve tried for decades to figure out how to say.

I know just what you (and @Hane) mean. While I like my own company and do very well on my own for long periods, I really, really need to be around other people from time to time. 

Last year when the state of Victoria had one of the hardest lockdowns in the world (in Melbourne more so than in the regional parts of the state which is where I live) I coped, I thought, well with the isolation. It's only recently, since I've gone back to being a volunteer at a local multicultural organisation one day per week, and to writers festivals the last two weekends, that I realised how much I need to be with other people from time to time. Recently having had my first vaccination helps, too. 

Edited May 14, 2021 by courtlylove

[CyborgKin]

Quote

“I’m Steve. Welcome. Do you live in the area? Why did you choose to visit us today? Any questions I can answer for you before the service starts?”

Yeah, how long have you been off your meds?

[Botkinetti]

Imagine believing that your judgment is so important to newcomers to your church that they would welcome it. Steve must make a beeline to new people to show everyone how perfect his beliefs are and if they never show up again I’m sure he judges them for that as well. 

[smittykins]

1 hour ago, CyborgKin said:

I’m Steve. Welcome. Do you live in the area? Why did you choose to visit us today? Any questions I can answer for you before the service starts?”

“Do you know where you’re going when you DIE?”

Edited May 14, 2021 by smittykins

[allyisyourpally5]

Does Steve actually have an official role in his church or has he just designated himself to the role of “check everyone is saved the way I like it” person and greeter?

[fundiefan]

23 minutes ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

Does Steve actually have an official role in his church or has he just designated himself to the role of “check everyone is saved the way I like it” person and greeter?

I doubt he has any official role. He is not exactly a team player. He is no doubt as you said, chief of sitting in judgment upon all others. No way would he be able to be part of a group of church members or leaders who work together to accomplish their goals. His ego wouldn't allow him to be anything but top dog who makes all the rules and no one is allowed to question.

[Jana814]

Steve is definitely not a team player. I’m sure he’s not thrilled that he can’t control what goes on at the church where they are right now. The thing with the nursing home church he was able to control it. I’m sure that is why he started  one. 

[Cults-r-us]

On 5/14/2021 at 3:29 AM, courtlylove said:

I know just what you (and @Hane) mean. While I like my own company and do very well on my own for long periods, I really, really need to be around other people from time to time. 

Last year when the state of Victoria had one of the hardest lockdowns in the world (in Melbourne more so than in the regional parts of the state which is where I live) I coped, I thought, well with the isolation. It's only recently, since I've gone back to being a volunteer at a local multicultural organisation one day per week, and to writers festivals the last two weekends, that I realised how much I need to be with other people from time to time. Recently having had my first vaccination helps, too. 

I was so happy when lockdown started to never see anybody. Within a few weeks, I was so happy and grateful to see the employees at the grocery store!

[SisterCupcake]

On 5/13/2021 at 12:44 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

fishing in the living room fish tank.

I may be late to the party on this, but THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE PHRASE!!!!!!! Also, you've pulled me out of lurking, good job! I teach high school students and remind them all the time that their essays must convince someone other than me or their classmates (who already have knowledge of a subject) that their argument is sound. From now on, no more fishing in the living room fish tank!

Edited May 17, 2021 by SisterCupcake

[MamaJunebug]

On 5/13/2021 at 8:13 AM, Tatar-tot said:

He is about a half of bead out of plum. The only issue is the 1/2 of bead is the gateway to crazy town.

Hee~!! Around here we say "a half-bubble off plumb." I like your version as well.

The Steve story du jour brought up two thoughts/memories. 

As a lonesome young adult, I would've loved to have been approached in a friendly, genuine manner by people at church.  As a young mom a few years later, I was honestly very insulted that an "evangelism" team from the church we attended knocked on our door early one evening, unplanned>

They did apologize for the lack of notice but exchanged some pleasantries and then said, "Before we go, we must ask you: If you died tonight, would you go to Heaven? Yes? Good.  WHY??" 

And stood there peering at me intently while I barely kept my composure and gave them the right answer.  Gosh, that was a good 35 years ago, and it still strikes me as, "We've come to give you a pop-quiz!"

What if I'd answered "wrong?" Phew! Re-education, right there on the front stoop, I guess? 

Second thought.  Yesterday I wanted to meditate, and to do so in church before the service.  Then I thought about how I'd have to arrive early, find a super-remote spot, take a half-kneeling position to show that I was not there for conversation at that particular time .... I decided to wait until midweek, see if I can have a little alone time in the sanctuary, then.  The office manager is a prickly sort.  She won't bother me.

In summary: Save us from Steve!  

Edited May 18, 2021 by MamaJunebug

[PennySycamore]

If Stevehovah came up to me when I was visiting a church and asked me those questions,  I hope I'd tell him to fuck off.  Or tell him it's none of his damn business.  Which it isn't.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

So yesterday (May 19, 2021)'s Seriously Dad:

It's literally a follow up to last week with

Quote

MORE FISHING IN THE BOAT

Just picture someone reading the title sarcastically and rolling their eyes like I rolled my eyes when I saw the title. 

Yay! More scaring people away from church.

Quote

This week, like last, we are still fishing in the boat, but looking for those with different needs.

Yikes! This seems relatively creepy. It sounds like we're looking for people with vulnerabilities to exploit, because (spoiler alert) we are!

Quote

Brothers, many people are hurting who come to church (they came to the right place). 

Yes church can be the right place, but another right place is a bar, therapist's office, friend's house, etc.

Quote

 Their pain may not be obvious, since they can put on a smile and make appear as if everything is fine.

Yes many people do this. Many people also want to keep their smiles on, rather than let their guard down in public.

Quote

Your smile and caring conversation could be what communicates to them that they are loved, valued, and wanted. 

Yes it's nice to have smile and a good conversation. However like last week, we're rushing into a relationship. "Loved" is a bit strong. I think "welcomed and acknowledged" would be better words.

Quote

It is even possible that over time they will feel safe in your friendship and will let you see behind the smiles to the pain.

Yes if you become good enough friends, then maybe they will want to open up to you. And maybe not. 

But okay, Steve, I lured them, I've gotten them to share their pain, and then what? Do I recommend a therapist? Tell them to find Jesus? Get them to sing about it Glee style? Read the bible at them?

What if I don't how to respond to their pain? There's a reason professional therapists go to school, get years of training, and learn how to help people process pain! Sometimes you can help and sometimes it's best left to professionals. 

It's also odd to me that Steve doesn't tell what the point of it is and what we're suppose to accomplish.

Quote

Maybe it will be in the form of a prayer request, or it could be an invitation to meet for coffee. 

Yes that's a good idea, I guess. Am I supposed to request a prayer from them or offer to pray for them? 

As for coffee, I guess that's why the Maxwells drink coffee. It's a ministry.

Quote

But it starts with looking around and reaching out to someone you don’t know rather than stoically sitting in your seat at church. 

Like less than a year ago, you were mad at people bringing small children to church with toys and books to entertain them.  I went back to check and in December, Steve whined about parents putting in kids in the nursery and how important it was to listen to God's word during church and not be distracted. Like this column from five months ago, about "Dulling the Sword", where Steve tells us the most thing in church is listening to God's word and "not treating it like crummy background music"  and now we're supposed to looking around for someone to reach out to. 

Quote

“And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment” (Philippians 1:9). 

Not sure what this bible verse has to do anything, but maybe it's the time for one of the girls to further her education.

Edited May 20, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[anjulibai]

Steve's pissed that people aren't talking to him. 

Gee Steve, perhaps your reputation precedes you and no one wants to talk to a judgmental asshole.