Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 19

[GreyhoundFan]

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"MAGA Busy"

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Honestly, it’s not important whether a president throws out an opening pitch or not in Major League Baseball. It’s especially unimportant when that president (sic) is Donald Trump because there wouldn’t be anything meaningful about it other than his own ego boost.

The only thing significant about Donald Trump not throwing out an opening pitch is that he’s the first president (sic) not to do so since President Howard Taft started the tradition in 1910. Not only has every president since thrown out a first pitch, every one of them has done it on opening day except Jimmy Carter.

In what is hopefully his last year in office and last baseball season for him to do so, Donald Trump accepted an invitation to throw out the opening pitch in New York for the Yankees on August 15th. The reason Donald Trump probably accepted now is that there aren’t any fans in attendance because of the Trump Virus. He would be safe from being greeted by a chorus of boos in The Bronx. Donald Trump has probably set another record for being the most despised president (sic) in his  own hometown. New Yorkers do not like Donald Trump. Donald Trump says he could shoot a guy on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters, which is ironic because he has very few supporters working and living on 5th Avenue.

Even though Donald Trump was guaranteed not to be booed by Yankee fans, I would have volunteered to draw frowny faces on each of the cardboard cutouts MLB has placed in the stands behind home plate.

Now, Donald Trump has backed out of throwing the opening pitch on August 15th. He says he’ll do it at a later date in the season, but who are we kidding? Just like one of those big announcements he promises, like on his new healthcare plan, or that time he promised to release his taxes, it’ll never happen.

Dr. Anthony Fauci threw out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals on opening day. It was a horrible pitch, wide left, and probably closer to first base than to home plate. But, the guy is a 79-year-old doctor, not a pitcher. Sure, laugh if you want to, but we can forgive him. But seeing Fauci throw a stinker probably made Donald Trump think twice. If Fauci, the most popular man in the country, is going to be ridiculed over a bad pitch, what will the nation do to the most hated man in the country? We would have a field day.

Let’s face facts. Donald Trump is out of shape. He’s 74 years old and obese. The guy can’t walk stairs. It may not even be the pitch he’s afraid of the world seeing, but the walk to the mound. He’s fat, but even Howard Taft threw out an opening pitch (to be fair, the opening pitch was always thrown from the stands and the tradition of throwing from the mound didn’t start until Ronald Reagan did it).

Of course, another thing he may be afraid of is every Yankee player taking a knee during the national anthem. Donald Trump tweeted last week, “Any time I witness a player kneeling during the National Anthem, a sign of great disrespect for our Country and our Flag, the game is over for me!” Every member of the Yankees, along with every member of the Nationals, took a knee during the anthem on opening day. The Bronx Bombers may make it a point to do so on Trump day, even if management orders them not to.

Of course, Donald Trump used an excuse to get out of throwing an opening pitch. His excuse? He’s too busy dealing with the coronavirus he’s ignored over the past six months, the economy he’s destroyed, and “much else.”

He sent a tweet Sunday about how busy he is. He’s so busy. I’m really hoping he can take a break every now and then because I’m concerned for his health (this is all sarcasm). He tweeted, “Because of my strong focus on the China Virus, including scheduled meetings on Vaccines, our economy and much else, I won’t be able to be in New York to throw out the opening pitch for the @Yankees on August 15th. We will make it later in the season!” When he said, “Much else,” he was referring to being a racist. Even that tweet was racist. 

But, just how busy is Donald Trump? He sent that tweet about his heavy workload on Sunday. Saturday, he was golfing with dick-pic aficionado Brett Favre who is also known for being a retired quarterback (that pic thing was a big deal for a minute). To cut Trump some slack, maybe he deserves a golf outing on Saturday because he hadn’t had one in five days. He was also golfing Sunday when he sent that tweet about how busy he was. He probably sent it from the golf course.

For the record, Donald Trump has had 266 golf outings according to the Presidential Golf Tracker (not an actual government source). According to Trump Golf Count, his outings at his own courses have cost taxpayers over $138 million. Donald Trump only golfs at his courses. That way, he gets to charge us for rooms and services at his resorts. We literally pay Donald Trump to golf. Say what you will about Obama’s golf outings, which were mostly on military courses, but we didn’t pay him for it.

If Donald Trump was really busy, he wouldn’t have time for golf. He wouldn’t have time for toilet tweeting. He wouldn’t start his workday at 1:00 P.M. as he usually starts each day with “executive time,” which is actually TV time. If Donald Trump was busy, he wouldn’t’ have time to call in to Fox & Friends to spread lies and scream about “much else.” If he was so busy, he wouldn’t have had time for all those ridiculous hate rallies he was having every week of his presidency until the pandemic shut them down. I watched a documentary on sloths last week and they have a heavier schedule than Donald Trump, plus they’re less racist.

Donald Trump is so not busy, he’s the only president who hasn’t shown any signs of aging while in office. It’s not because he has better DNA (HA!) or he doesn’t stress the workload. It’s because he’s not doing the job. The only thing Donald Trump stresses is not getting enough attention, credit, and losing in November which may send him to prison. Another reason he doesn’t show any signs of aging is that he spends two hours a day applying six cans of hairspray to his head and adding six pounds of makeup to his crater-pocked face. Also, he looked like crap on day one anyway. He just happens to look like the same piece of crap. Some would say it’s an art form.

With Donald Trump’s refusal to throw out an opening pitch, we’re going to miss his bragging about how awesome it was after he threw it into the dirt. We’re going to miss his cult praising the pitch and the human form he exhibited on the pitching mound. We’re going to miss watching him walked down the mound like it’s baby’s first steps on a wet ramp at the military academy. We may even be missing watching him pull a hammy. Damn.

We might be missing the sexiest political pitch since Chris Christie.

We don’t need Donald Trump to throw out an opening pitch. The only important aspect of this is the level of Trump bullshit. What I’ll be taking note of on August 15th is what Donald Trump actually does that day. It’ll probably be another day of over 100 tweets as it’ll be even closer to election day. Donald Trump will not be in a good mood between now and then.

The only pitches we’ll see from Donald Trump between now and election day will be racist comments. Donald Trump could have been the most racist guy to appear in Major League Baseball since Ty Cobb.

 

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[fraurosena]

 

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"Trumpian Respect"

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When asked if he would visit the United States Capitol to pay his respects to John Lewis, Donald Trump said no. But, an invite to visit Mr. Lewis’ body lying in state in the Capitol rotunda is probably like that invite from the Yankees. It didn’t happen.

Instead of visiting the Capitol and paying his respects to the late congressman and civil rights leader, who had his skull cracked while protesting on the Edmund Pettus Bridge on Bloody Sunday, 1965, Donald Trump chose to stage a photo-op in North Carolina where he continued his lies about the coronavirus pandemic.

The thing is, kids, it’s hard to pay your respects when you don’t have any. Donald Trump doesn’t respect anything. He doesn’t respect the people who work for him. He doesn’t respect the office of the presidency. He doesn’t respect the racist idiots who support him. While his cult respects him, it’s OK if he doesn’t return it because they don’t respect themselves. Anyone with any self-respect, pride, dignity, ethics, morals, principles, or standards, would NEVER support the likes of a racist troglodyte moronic conman.

With over 148,000 deaths from the coronavirus, Donald Trump’s lack of respect for the life of American citizens has made it the Trump Virus. The other thing Donald Trump doesn’t respect is the Constitution of the United States of America.

Donald Trump doesn’t respect the military or those who serve in it. If he did, he would have confronted Vladimir Putin during a recent phone call about the report he put bounties on the lives of U.S. military members in Afghanistan. At the very least, he should have said something about it by now.

Donald Trump doesn’t respect America. He doesn’t respect the civil rights movement. He doesn’t respect John Lewis or what he stood for.

John Lewis was attacked by riot police in 1965. The government sicced the police goons on him and others fighting for civil rights. People who fight for civil rights fight for America. Today, Donald Trump, the President (sic) of the United States is sending unidentified armed goons to start riots and beat up protesters in America’s cities. It’s a disrespect to our citizens, civil rights, and the Constitution. It’s a huge dis to America.

The people protesting for black lives and racial justice today are the equivalent of the Freedom Riders of 1961. Donald Trump is the racist equivalent of Bull Connor, George Wallace, and Ross Barnett (who still has a lake named after him in Mississippi).

John Lewis is gone, but what he fought and stood for isn’t. As we fight for racial justice today, we need to keep alive the spirit of John Lewis, who never stopped fighting.

We all need to be more like John Lewis if we are to defeat those who aspire to be more like Donald Trump.

 

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