Meghan and Harry 3: Working Towards Financial Independence

[FluffySnowball]

I’ve never been pregnant so I’ve also never had a miscarriage. However, I’d say that firstly, every woman should be given the space to react the way she feels. Some might find it to be a real tragedy and grieve intensely, others might cope better. I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to act, as long as it helps during the process of coming to terms with what happened. But having the feeling that one’s own body “fails” and doesn’t carry a wanted pregnancy to term must be painful, I cannot imagine not being saddened, at least. 

Secondly, I can very well imagine that Meghan’s article in the NYT comes across as rather curated and edited because of two reasons: 

For one, the Sussexes had to deal with intense and at times brutal scrutiny and Meghan doesn’t want to publish anything that’s not entirely thought through (which, ironically, she gets criticized for all the same).

Also, after all the public criticism, maybe M and H want to protect themselves from hurtful reactions and comments and, still hurting emotionally, they don’t release this piece of information without intense planning. 

[anjulibai]

Man the woman can't even talk about her own miscarriage right. Yikes. 

I read on another site that there would be complaints about this essay, and I thought really? Who would bitch about this, of all things? I don't know why I am surprised, but I am.

[tabitha2]

It’s not her talking about Her loss that people are bitching about. Plenty of Celebrities have have announced and talked about Miscarriage after all. It’s the questionable way she chooses to go about this and most things...come off attention grabby, overly scripted And agenda ish. 

[DalmatianCat]

14 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

@DalmatianCat true, but honestly I wonder what their advisors did all day? The family could be excused with shock and grieve (but I definitely think the adults cannot be fully excused). Even if they weren’t fans of Diana, she was part of the family and the mother of the boys and not ill or something. It will have affected all of them to some extent. The advisors and PR people could have foreseen that there would be the need for a bigger gesture. Not the extend of it all but still. And someone should have sat for a minute and told them to not let them walk. Honestly, they really employ some very shortsighted and/or incompetent people. And still do (just look at the whole Andrew horror or the Megxit drama). Their crisis management is lacking at best. 

Ever since the Royal family lost their ability to just silence everyone who had something negative to say about them, they haven’t really rocked the PR department ? 

But on a more serious note...mental health has come a long way since the 90s. As an emotional teenager I saw nothing wrong with William and Harry walking behind their mother’s casket and was sure I would want to do the same in their situation. As an adult I recoil at the idea and would want privacy instead. At that moment in their life it probably made sense to do what was instructed and it’s only as adults who’ve gained some agency over their lives that they realized that if they could go back they would do it differently.
As for all the other adults in their life...I think the Queen and Prince Philip have never been adept at managing public perception and coming from the generation they did they probably assumed it would be helpful for the boys to walk behind their mother out of a sense of duty and respect. Charles and Earl Spencer...I’ve got nothing...

 I don’t think any adults in their life set that walk up with bad intentions. Misguided, definitely, but malicious, no. But that’s the beauty of hindsight ??‍♀️

 I read an article a year or so ago where Harry said that up until his mother’s death he had no idea of her global fame and was caught off-guard by the crowds and outpouring of grief the week she died. He also mentioned feeling guilt because the last time he’d talked to her he’d been in a rush to get off the phone because he wanted to go back to playing with his cousins.

[tabitha2]

Earl Spencer is A big mouthed idiot and was only ever good at using Diana and her fame to benefit him.  He was never very brotherly or even kind to her in life and now is suddenly the Concerned uncle talking about how awful the Royals are to his beloved sisters sons. 

[bea]

Is it word salad with bad Lifetime writing, or overly curated and edited? Pretty sure it can’t be both.
Then again, it’s Megan, literally nothing she does will ever be the right thing, to some people.

[FiveAcres]

9 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

 I read an article a year or so ago where Harry said that up until his mother’s death he had no idea of her global fame and was caught off-guard by the crowds and outpouring of grief the week she died. He also mentioned feeling guilt because the last time he’d talked to her he’d been in a rush to get off the phone because he wanted to go back to playing with his cousins.

It is possible that if her sons had been bettered sheltered from the crowds and outpouring of public grief they would still feel bad about it. It was a horrible time for those who actually loved the real woman and not the public icon.

I saw the news of her death while I was at a large science fiction convention in Baltimore, Maryland and I was surprised about how much attention it got there. Although I had watched her wedding (my partner rolled his eyes and stayed in bed), I didn't pay much attention to the BRF, so I was also surprised at the idolatry. I know some of it came from her willingness to support marginalized groups (including AIDS patients) but a lot of it was just inexplicable to me. 

[tabitha2]

Never mind. Wrong place:)

Edited November 26, 2020 by tabitha2

[Four is Enough]

10 hours ago, bea said:

Is it word salad with bad Lifetime writing, or overly curated and edited? Pretty sure it can’t be both.
Then again, it’s Megan, literally nothing she does will ever be the right thing, to some people.

I've written about things that are painful and personal to me, but never for publication. I've simply poured out my emotions on the page, and put the page away.  My words, of course, were raw and unpolished.

Megan's words seem to me to be ultra-polished, even excessively polished. That, to me, takes away a feeling of authenticity. Maybe years later, one could produce a smoother anecdote about the incident, that would read like Megan's. But  since Megan has always seemed so , for lack of a better word "plastic" to me, I refuse to discuss her further. That is my opinion, but I don't want to promulgate it, because my opinion is not important. And as a woman who has suffered infertility, I do wish her comfort.

 

3 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

I saw the news of her death while I was at a large science fiction convention in Baltimore, Maryland and I was surprised about how much attention it got there. Although I had watched her wedding (my partner rolled his eyes and stayed in bed), I didn't pay much attention to the BRF, so I was also surprised at the idolatry. I know some of it came from her willingness to support marginalized groups (including AIDS patients) but a lot of it was just inexplicable to me. 

I felt the same way, confused about the outpouring for a (as I described it) "vapid, attention seeking clotheshorse celebrity" when all my coworkers went crazy with  Diana's death. Yeah, I'd watched the wedding. It was a good catharsis. I was grieving over the loss of my practice marriage. But the incredible spectacle at her death? I was completely stymied.

However, I had to eat my words several years later when John Denver died. It was like a knife to  my heart. His music was the soundtrack of my young life. for a while, every song meant something to me.. and I grieved hard. I couldn't even listen to his music for about 3 years.. So now I don't criticize people who loved Diana so much, particularly after I found out about all her work with charities and land mine protection agencies. 

Edited November 26, 2020 by Four is Enough

[ADoyle90815]

I also think that nothing Meghan does will ever be the right thing with those who hate her. As for Diana's funeral, I now wish that William and Harry didn't have to walk behind the casket. For me, what really got to me was that one card with "Mummy" written on it on that one bouquet of white roses. I was only 5 when she got married, so I was too young to have stayed up to watch it, but my mom definitely did.

Edited November 26, 2020 by ADoyle90815

[tabitha2]

And nothing Meghan does will ever be questionable or less than appropriate to those who adore her   

[Topaz]

4 hours ago, ADoyle90815 said:

I also think that nothing Meghan does will ever be the right thing with those who hate her. As for Diana's funeral, I now wish that William and Harry didn't have to walk behind the casket. For me, what really got to me was that one card with "Mummy" written on it on that one bouquet of white roses. I was only 5 when she got married, so I was too young to have stayed up to watch it, but my mom definitely did.

The “Mummy” card was what got me too. 

[DalmatianCat]

On 11/25/2020 at 1:49 PM, just_ordinary said:

However, a loss is a loss. And if they find it helps them, they can deal with it however they  like. 
My other, more critical opinions under the spoiler.

  Hide contents

I do find it a bit complicated that they seem to jump into whatever cause has the most publicity at the moment. Feminism, BLM, Veterans and now miscarriages. It might be completely coincidental but that how it looks sometimes. But I am a cynic and very judgmental.

 

I don’t think that’s cynical or judgmental but calling it like you see it. They seem to be choosing very popular causes, and it does make me wonder how much they will be able to stand out as a charity/foundation (whatever they end up doing), because LA is crowded with so many others doing the same thing. 
I’m not British so I’m not really sure how the patronages the Royal family takes on work, but it seems like they try to help bring awareness to charities that are already on the frontlines doing the work? Charities that are doing mundane but necessary work that would never get noticed if a Royal didn’t show up and spotlight it.

I don’t know if the patronages Meghan took on weren’t a good fit, or she just hadn’t found her groove yet, but I thought the community kitchen and clothes for women entering the workforce program were definitely causes that seemed like she was passionate about and were unique to her. Kind of similar to the way early childhood and the #holdstill photography project have really let Kate find her own voice and passion. 

 

[nokidsmom]

On 11/25/2020 at 1:17 PM, nausicaa said:

How terrible for those two young boys to have to go out into those crowds and be expected to manage the extreme emotional distress of others mourning what was a constructed persona for them, but was actually the boys' own mother. 

I don't know how the BRF didn't forsee that. But perhaps this falls under the general issue of them not understanding just how popular Diana was and what the response would be. I don't think anyone anticipated it, though I do think some of the zeitgeist was contagious hysteria rather than truly held feeling. 

The public reaction was unexpectedly extreme but IMHO while the RF was holed up at Balmoral it wasn't that difficult to see that the boys would be subjected to that once they got back to London.   I agree this was part of them not understanding Diana's popularity but also that they didn't realize that the Royal Family way of managing things doesn't always work and this was not for the first time either.  

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 11/26/2020 at 7:11 PM, tabitha2 said:

And nothing Meghan does will ever be questionable or less than appropriate to those who adore her   

You know there are people here who don't adore her, I certainly don't.  I don't know her, I don't care much about her one way or the other...I just find it interesting and a bit gross how BEC you and others can be about literally every single thing she does.  

And the fact that such apologists for the monarchy and proponents for following prescribed duties in a patriarchal system are here on FJ is a continual surprise to me.  It's just weird to see personal agency vilified here.

[tabitha2]

It’s not BEC. It’s pretty apparent By now She craves attention and publicity and praise per her starlet Hollywood background and Things like Announcing her Pregnancy on her In-laws  wedding day and hiring photogs to film them in a cemetery laying wreaths  is worth giving her or them some side eye. From the moment she married him it’s been constant drama and   Strange choices, entitlement and pointless little scandals That could have been easily avoided from both of them.  I don’t think the Queen deserves all that in her last years plus  Andrew and her other GC Causing trouble and That’s true for any elderly person. 
 

For what it’s worth There are Married in Royal Princesses who soft porn stars and Married in Royal Princesses who has illegitimate children by drug dealers. They are classy and dutiful by all accounts.  I try judge people by the way they act not by any other aspect. There are Born In Royals that are people i find unpleasant, spoiled and Very entitled. 
 

That’s all I will say about the subject. 

 

 

Edited November 28, 2020 by tabitha2

[viii]

Why do you capitalize random words in your sentences? I almost find that more confusing that your hate hard-on for Meghan. 

I’m going to guess you are SUUUUUPER popular on royaldish. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

19 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

It’s not BEC. It’s pretty apparent By now She craves attention and publicity and praise per her starlet Hollywood background and Things like Announcing her Pregnancy on her In-laws  wedding day and hiring photogs to film them in a cemetery laying wreaths  is worth giving her or them some side eye. From the moment she married him it’s been constant drama and   Strange choices, entitlement and pointless little scandals That could have been easily avoided from both of them.  I don’t think the Queen deserves all that in her last years plus  Andrew and her other GC Causing trouble and That’s true for any elderly person. 
 

For what it’s worth There are Married in Royal Princesses who soft porn stars and Married in Royal Princesses who has illegitimate children by drug dealers. They are classy and dutiful by all accounts.  I try judge people by the way they act not by any other aspect. There are Born In Royals that are people i find unpleasant, spoiled and Very entitled. 
 

That’s all I will say about the subject. 

 

 

You have a right to your opinion, but if you think it's not BEC then we agree to disagree.

 

[tabitha2]

I know it is weird but it’s not on purpose Honestly . For some reason it just happens randomly. Beats me why:)  I don’t care enough to go back constantly so it is what it is. 
 

No. I have never been on Royaldish. I just enjoy Royalty and hate fake people and Always have. 
 

 

[Pleiades_06]

Personally I’m in the “I-could-care-less” about H&M camp. What bothers me is how people assume her behavior is due to her American culture/bi-racial identity/blackness. As an American in Europe I get this all the time-very privileged people who seem to think Europe is culturally superior and they know everything about the States because they travelled around and know some English.
Of course it goes both ways-Americans like to tell me what Europeans are like. But internationally there’s still this idea that European=cultured/civilized and everything else is backwards.  It smacks of snobbery. It relies on stereotypes and tropes. 

[tabitha2]

Oh I know I am just an irrational hater of Harry and Meghan according to some here but now  he Went and gave a speech wanting us all to be raindrops And you know, Mother Nature caused COVID to get revenge and since it’s our fault we need to suck it up. 
 

Bless his Tone deaf out of touch heart. 

Edited December 2, 2020 by tabitha2

[Coconut Flan]

He does need some walk to go with the talk.  So far that's lacking.

[tabitha2]

Right? Next time he preaches and waxes poetic like a Rich clueless middle aged hippie then jets off on a private plane to a tropical beach he just might seem Hypocritical and fake but YMMV. 

[louisa05]

On 11/29/2020 at 11:00 AM, Pleiades_06 said:

Personally I’m in the “I-could-care-less” about H&M camp. What bothers me is how people assume her behavior is due to her American culture/bi-racial identity/blackness. As an American in Europe I get this all the time-very privileged people who seem to think Europe is culturally superior and they know everything about the States because they travelled around and know some English.
Of course it goes both ways-Americans like to tell me what Europeans are like. But internationally there’s still this idea that European=cultured/civilized and everything else is backwards.  It smacks of snobbery. It relies on stereotypes and tropes. 

British culture is different. And she made no attempt to understand that or to fit into that. It’s more formal. In a good way. Frankly, the American penchant for being unkempt 100% of the time gets old. If Meghan had married Joe Jones the electrician  of suburban England, her choice to ignore the differences in culture would have been fine. But she married someone whose job was to represent the country to the world and hence needed to represent it. 
 

As for Harry’s raindrop nonsense, until he understands how off putting it is that he preaches from his mansion and excuses himself to use transportation with massive carbon footprint, he should probably just shut the F up 

[Pleiades_06]

3 hours ago, louisa05 said:

more formal. In a good way. Frankly, the American penchant for being unkempt 100% of the time gets old.

Those are also stereotypes...and elitist ones at that.