Gwen Shamblin Lara 11: Cloudy with A Chance of the Holy Spirit

[AmazonGrace]

He looks like he's about to cry. Careful, Joe, Gwen doesn't like to be in  water because it melts her makeup.

(Incidentally, today's Delusional contains some of Gwen's best non sequiturs...ever notice old people lose interest in swimming, or walking in the rain...  Hey, speaking of water, Jesus said he could give you living water. To drink, not to chill in. Maybe you should copy people who have that living water. Because you can totally get a relationship with God by aping some humans.  No, wait, you have to absorb God's word. No, you must imitate humans. Because you are omniscient and totally can judge who has godly spirit. Well duh, easy, Gwen, Michael and Elizabeth do. Imitate their speech and behavior because a true relationship with God is a series of words and actions you can just repeat after Gwen. And does any of this have anything  to do with whether old people like water sports or not? Nobody knows.)

Edited February 13, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[formergothardite]

9 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

He looks like he's about to cry.

He really does. He has had bad plastic surgery, but he has shown happy emotions before, just not around Gwen. She always clutches him like she is worried he will bold mid video and he always looks like he seriously regrets his life choices. 

[SilverBeach]

Gwod is obsessed with appearing taller than she is, perhaps because she conflates height with authority? It makes her look foolish. She has no idea of how she really looks, her fantasy appearance is imprinted in her brain. BTW Gwod, platform shoes make skinny legs look even skinnier. As for Joe, he has had way too much Botox.  She had to pay him to marry her. 

[AmazonGrace]

I thought that the devotionals repeat themselves about once a year but I have to revise that theory since this was posted less than six months ago.  She's changed the title , the last time around it was called Unfathomable Love, now God is Love. It's also online as Immortal love. https://gwenshamblinbooks.com/immortal-love/

Apart from the title changes, it's the same old, same old.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32677-gwen-shamblin-lara-9-perfecting-hypocrisy/

Spoiler

 

God is Love

February 14, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

God is Love and has an altruistic love that is so unfathomable and so deep that we cannot possibly grasp it all. Intimate love was given to a husband and wife to provide insight into the profound love of the Heavens. God uses the allegory of marriage to express this profound love that He has for us.

 

God is love and has love. It is so incomprehensible that we cannot comprehend it. Some more repeated words. Marriage is not a relationship, it's an allegory. If you're married you're being used by God.

I am not sure if the concept of altruism applies to God

 

Quote

 

Definition of altruism

1: unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others charitable acts motivated purely by altruism

2 : behavior by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that benefits others of its species

 

According to the Bible, God is not purely unselfish, he seems to be looking for an awful lot of worship and praise to gratify his own feelings.  And considering he is omnipotent and could change anything he wished,  his devotion to the welfare of others leaves a lot to be hoped for, judging by all the suffering he currently allows,  all the people he let drown in a worldwide flood, everyone he has historically smited, and all of us who will burn in hell eternally some day.

The definition 2 doesn't seem to apply either since apart from killing his son for three days, it doesn't seem like God ever does anything out of love that is harmful to himself or his species. How could anything harm an omnipotent being? But there are several passages in the Bible that indicate he gets some joy or good vibes from loving you and you loving him back.

Then a Bible verse:

Spoiler

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. Song of Solomon 8:6-7

This is what a seal on your arm might look like:

Spoiler

The rest of it is Gwen putting the words in that Bible quote into a mixer and repeating herself some more. Love is strong. God's Love is strong. Get it? Love is quite strong.  (Because you haven't been eating and your starved brain probably didn't understand what those words meant the first time. )

Spoiler

This Love is so strong—many waters cannot quench it nor can rivers wash it away. It is strong—there is no one you have ever known who was able to escape death. The love that God has for us is so strong that it is undeniable, unstoppable, inescapable. Rivers cannot quench it. It is a mighty flame.

 

This isn't strictly speaking true, Gwen. Granted, everyone might  die eventually but you can't prove it. Your phrasing sounds like everyone already kicked the bucket, and I know plenty of people who have been able to escape death so far. And God's love is clearly not undeniable, as evidenced by all the people who deny that God even exists or doubt that he is a loving god.

Have you heard that rivers cannot quench love? They can drown lovers though.

Spoiler

And if you have that kind of love, someone could offer you all the money in the world and you would say, “I would rather partake of God’s love more than taste the opportunity that all the money in the world would provide.” 

I believe that is a lie. I could be the mother of all saints and I'd still like to think I would never say something so convoluted and grammatically awkward. Taste the opportunity?

Anyway, that's easy for Gwen to promise since she knows for a fact nobody will ever offer her all the money in the world and she won't have to keep her word, so she is free to enjoy all the smaller fortunes that end up coming her way.

This is pretty cute though.

Spoiler

 

Edited February 14, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[SuperNova]

 

58 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

God uses the allegory of marriage

So an unseen, unfelt, unproven god is using real tangible life as an allegory. This is so backward.

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

I believe that is a lie. I could be the mother of all saints and I'd still like to think I would never say something so convoluted and grammatically awkward. Taste the opportunity?

Gwen was watching TV and saw a Skittles commercial when she wrote this. Taste the rainbow, Gwen.

[AmazonGrace]

 King David read the Scriptures. King David prayed and wrote songs. King David danced in the streets. King David had a man murdered so he could have sex with the widow. Be like King David.

 

Spoiler

Finding God’s Personality

February 15, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

The gentleness and self-control of God-led people is God’s personality coming thru them. Christ was never prideful. David was never prideful. King David danced in the streets when God’s Word came back to His people. He danced to God and wrote songs. He prayed to God and read the Word. He searched for God and sought His lead. He kept God’s precepts in his heart and repeated them over and over—all the words, all the thoughts, all the activities. That is what you are to be doing. You should want to be like King David. You should want to be like Christ, who by the age of 12 could teach about the Words of God and could discuss the Scriptures. He actually could take on some of the arguments and interpret the Bible. He knew God, and he knew what God meant in the Word. You should never want to imitate those doing the wrong things, people being arrogant, disobedient or boastful. Follow those who follow Christ!

 

[formergothardite]

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

David was never prideful.

I guess she is just going to pretend that whole "Let's murder that guy cause I want to cover up how I knocked up his wife" thing did't happen. 

 

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

You should want to be like King David.

So murder is cool for Gwen?

 

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

He actually could take on some of the arguments and interpret the Bible.

Does Gwen really think the Bible existed in ancient Israel? 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Quote

Does Gwen really think the Bible existed in ancient Israel? 

Yes. Yes she does.  Including the New Testament (that somehow existed before Christ). And it meant then exactly what Gwod says it means now.  

Gwod was. Is. And ever shall be. RF without end. Amen.

Edited February 15, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[formergothardite]

13 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Yes. Yes she does.  Including the New Testament (that somehow existed before Christ). And it meant then exactly what Gwod says it means now.  

Gwod was. Is. And ever shall be. RF without end. Amen.

I can't wrap my head around this. How does she think it existed? The NT is a ton of letters written after Christ. How does she explain it?

[Blue]

6 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Yes. Yes she does.  Including the New Testament (that somehow existed before Christ). And it meant then exactly what Gwod says it means now.  

Gwod was. Is. And ever shall be. RF without end. Amen.

I feel bad because I'm usually a good judge of this, but please tell me you're being sarcastic...

She can't possibly teach something that ridiculous...

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Being sarcastic about the new Testament, part -- but I wouldn't be surprised if she said it

[Blue]

5 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Being sarcastic about the new Testament, part -- but I wouldn't be surprised if she said it

That's the sad thing... as crazy and moronic as it is, I couldn't put it past her...

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen would have you believe that heathens can  never have fun, they never have a great day and their food cannot taste good

Spoiler

 

Seeking God First

February 16, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

May we all emulate Christ. May we find others who are imitating Christ and copy them. Your life will have purpose, and you will find that Living Water when all you want is to be like Christ, whose only focus was to seek God and do His will! We should all beg in our hearts to be the apple of God’s eye like King David. Do you want to have a purpose? Do you want to have a blessed life? Or are you just focused on the here and the now, grabbing what you want but never getting answered prayers? We are here to find God. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that other activities do not dominate your days, but instead, your days are dominated with seeking after God. Then when God grants you fun recreation time and great meals, He will make the recreation incredible and the food delightful. If you seek the recreation and the food first—before seeking God—it will not be fun, and the food will not taste good, and you will have a disappointing day. But if you will seek God first, then you will have an amazing, blessed, beautiful day.

 

 

Yeah she's full of shit.

[Blue]

Former RFers...

I know in most churches there are Bible Studies and Small Groups and all of that. Are RF members expected to just stay in WD classes? And if so, what happens if you've done them all? Do you just do them over and over again? Is there a class or two that's considered more important than others? 

[RFsurvivor]

5 hours ago, Blue said:

Former RFers...

I know in most churches there are Bible Studies and Small Groups and all of that. Are RF members expected to just stay in WD classes? And if so, what happens if you've done them all? Do you just do them over and over again? Is there a class or two that's considered more important than others? 

The simple answer is yes. We were expected to be in a class most of the time. There would be classes that would be ran for the youth group and if you were not taking the class, your faith/devotion would be questioned. There wasn’t a particular class, it was kinda the class of the moment or which ever class weigh down had backlogs of materials for. Once Weigh Down Basics came out, that was heavily pushed. 

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen would have you to believe several stupid things before your next tiny eating occasion.

1. Alcoholics will stop drinking if they observe a person drinking just one glass of wine at a time. (I suppose because it never occurred to them that this is possible...? I guarantee that every alcoholic has already seen people who drink less than them and it doesn't seem to make a difference.)

2. Cheaters will stop cheating if  they see somebody being faithful once.  (This does not explain the existence of all the cheaters who have seen their faithful spouse every day.) (How can you tell if someone is being faithful anyway? I have rarely seen anyone cheating, this is generally not something people like to broadcast publicly. Just because somebody tells you they're faithful doesn't mean it's necessarily true.)

3. Righteous men don't look left or right. (Note: this is why they cause so many traffic accidents)

4. If you're greedy with money you will change if you see someone who is generous. (I guess we know Gwen has never seen such a person.) (This is obviously nonsense, greedy people see generous people and  take advantage of them every day. )

5. Overweight people will stop overeating if they see a thin person pushing a celery stalk on their plate. (If only it was so easy, there would be no overweight people)

6. Thin Eaters are people who have always been thin and never had a problem with overeating.  To meet a Thin Eater, you should go buy lunch to your local WeighDown representative so they can tell you all about how they lost 150 pounds. (Because people who have been thin from birth have so many weight loss success stories to tell.)

This devotional was last posted 25 January last year and I'm sad to report that it still doesn't make any more sense.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1717837

I guess Gwen thinks that everyone who has personal flaws, addictions or destructive behaviors is just incredibly sheltered and has only ever met people with similar behaviors. So meeting someone who doesn't is a novelty and teaches them that it's possible to live differently. Because if you have a personal problem you're also very  dumb and previously you were unaware that other people don't have the same problem. The reason you cheat is not because you want to but because nobody showed you how not to.

.

Edited February 17, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

5. Overweight people will stop overeating if they see a thin person pushing a celery stalk on their plate. (If only it was so easy, there would be no overweight people)

Right? I have a sister who is very close in age. I take after my mom's side, she after dad's. All through our childhood, we ate identical portions of food and treats. She gained weight and I didn't. If Gwen's bullshit theory was true, my sister would have been the same weight just by watching me eat. Even now, I lead a somewhat sedentary lifestyle and can eat anything in moderation and stay the same size but sis has to maintain an incredibly strict diet and exercise routine. Sometimes it really is genetics. 

[Blue]

7 hours ago, RFsurvivor said:

The simple answer is yes. We were expected to be in a class most of the time. There would be classes that would be ran for the youth group and if you were not taking the class, your faith/devotion would be questioned. There wasn’t a particular class, it was kinda the class of the moment or which ever class weigh down had backlogs of materials for. Once Weigh Down Basics came out, that was heavily pushed. 

I know she has a few that are 100% weight based and then some that seem to be more faith/devotion/brainwashing based. Did it seem like people were expected to do the weight based classes first, then move onto things like History of the One True God or Treasures? 

I'm just curious - a friend of mine (not RF, haha) were talking about how Scientology conditions people slowly - they don't throw the OT III crazy in there until you've been around for a while and have invested a lot of money... we were curious if RF does the same. Maybe those early classes she keeps it kind of on the rails until she knows she's got you emotionally hooked, then goes nuts?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Right? I have a sister who is very close in age. I take after my mom's side, she after dad's. All through our childhood, we ate identical portions of food and treats. She gained weight and I didn't. If Gwen's bullshit theory was true, my sister would have been the same weight just by watching me eat. Even now, I lead a somewhat sedentary lifestyle and can eat anything in moderation and stay the same size but sis has to maintain an incredibly strict diet and exercise routine. Sometimes it really is genetics. 

Absolutely.  My mom was always underweight, despite a life long diet which would have put most people firmly into the obese category.

My mother, naturally, had the build of Nurie and Kaylee Rodrigues.  She tried to keep some weight on with each pregnancy and it just fell off.  She was always getting "helpful advice" to eat, people thought she had an ED....nope.  Just metabolism.

Something she chose to pass to 3 out of 4 of her kids.  Thanks, Mom /s

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Thin Eaters are people who have always been thin and never had a problem with overeating.  To meet a Thin Eater, you should go buy lunch to your local WeighDown representative so they can tell you all about how they lost 150 pounds. (Because people who have been thin from birth have so many weight loss success stories to tell.)

This is funny.  As mentioned above my "thin eating mom" would have been a horrible example due to the amount of genuine crap food she ate.  Candy, baked goods, fried foods...and when people would ask her how she stayed so skinny (a word she hated) she had to do a Sophia Petrillo and admit she eats whatever she wants and was just born like this.

[AmazonGrace]

It would be so depressing and counterproductive I think....To be overweight and meet some skinny person who was always thin even though they eat any old crap like a horse that eats any old crap, and then be told, "look at this Thin Eater and imitate them", with no reference to the physical activity levels and other factors. And then if you imitated them and ate like they do, and inevitably failed to lose weight, and got told that you'd lose weight if you just put God first...

I think this weight loss advice goes against her other weight loss advice because looking at a thin person and imitating their eating habits has zero to do with seeking God first or even listening to the Growl.  Because not all of these naturally thin people are particularly religious and many of them would laugh at you if you told them you have to wait for hunger pains before eating. And imitating people is pretty much the opposite of putting God first.

[quiversR4hunting]

On 2/16/2020 at 5:40 AM, AmazonGrace said:

Yeah she's full of shit.

But can you be full of shit if you don't eat? Does the body even produce solid waste? Just a (gross)thought I had as I read your comment.  

[Blue]

40 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

But can you be full of shit if you don't eat? Does the body even produce solid waste? Just a (gross)thought I had as I read your comment.  

I thought I remembered her actually talking about this at some point... reassuring people that it was okay if they weren't having bowel movements as often and to think of it as proof that you were obeying God, haha!

[AmazonGrace]

Constipated for God.

[AmazonGrace]

Spoiler

From the Weigh Down Diet book. She claims that fiber is bad for you and seems strangely proud that she has no muscles.

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

  Hide contents

From the Weigh Down Diet book. She claims that fiber is bad for you and seems strangely proud that she has no muscles.

I think I gained muscle just from reading Gwen's mental gymnastics. I almost want to pick this apart but it's just too sad and stupid. Literally no one but Gwen believes that vegetables and green things are bad.