Bro Gary Hawkins 8: F is for Felony and No Longer Funny

[Dandruff]

5 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

It’s spaghetti alla Weenese, with a side of cold slaw and pinto mixings. And it sounds disgusting.

One is what one eats...

[FundamentallyShocked]

I made emergency beanie weenies when someone failed to bring their side dish to a picnic. My kids insisted on chanting "good weens, Mom" all the way to the park. Love those kids!

[MarblesMom]

@FundamentallyShocked I like your kids!  Mine would have done the same - cracked me up! Btw, I have the most.amazing.baked.bean.recipe that I will share in the cooking club.  I had to beg for this one from a relative - and it is THAT good.

I was listening and attempting to transcribe GHaw's latest live, and I started - then he just went on and on and I gave up. Storms, people dying, his stats were off, nope.

A few minutes afterward, tho, some brilliant person attempted to get his attention in the comments, but it appears to be gone now (of course):

 

[PumaLover]

Oh geez… I was uploading pics from this weekend when the notification popped up that he went live. We ate dinner early and I have no life so I'll try and recap. It's entertaining at the very least. 

[Lillymuffin]

“Preparatin’” That’s all I have to say about his latest live. You gotta be preparatin’. 

[DancingPhalanges]

I tried to watch it but he doesn’t move his top lip enough for me to work out what he’s saying. My ears don’t hear well enough and maybe that’s a good thing. I did understand all his filler phrases. Very unoriginal. 

[thoughtful]

20 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

The wonderful @Beermeet coined the term Weenese, although you’ve likely already seen that. 

It’s spaghetti alla Weenese, with a side of cold slaw and pinto mixings. And it sounds disgusting.

Ah, yes -- I was so confused by Gary's garbled gabbing, I forgot we do have a word for it.

 

[PumaLover]

OK folks, I thought Bro was wearing the same shirt from the other night but it's slightly different. I've had kind of a long day and got thrown up on in the car earlier. My daughter's sisters were visiting for the day and both got carsick, poor things. We went on to have a great time at the lake. 

Ok Bro. There's a lot of noise and talking in the background. Apparently he just had to start speaking at just this very time. Storm's still a going, God's still in control. My daughter is watching TV in the background and it's distracting so I got my earbuds. Holy Rufus is it spooky having his voice right in my very ears. 

Some people didn't get out of bed this morning and they won't be going back to bed tonight. Why? They're dead. (Sad, and no snark on that, just the way he's saying it.)

The storm's going, wind rain, lot of damage. Last count they got today 12 people passed away. That's sad. (Since I have the earbuds in I can hear someone watching TV or something in his background. Why not go to a quiet place?)

They're evacuating a bunch of people because of the storm. A few days back there was a bunch of people who wasn't preparing for this or expecting this. People boarding up and stocking up with food. He went to the grocery store today on the way back from church and they were out of bread and milk. He didn't look at much else. I'm guessing the store had plenty of red weens and white flour still. We prepare for everything except for the lord. He said something funny that sounded like bench-ridden people but I can't tell if that's what he said and my Google Chrome won't let me rewind. I have issues. People prepare for everything except the lord Jesus Christ. We've been prepar-ating. (Had to switch browsers. I am not computer literate at all.) Yes, he said bench ridden-people. 

Oh he's not gonna say there's anything wrong with you making plans. A lot of people the last few days had to make plans and decisions. Are the houses and property worth repairing? Making decisions they've never had to make before. But what about making preparations. He told the church this morning, (he stumbles over the word destruction) something about how we just celebrated 9/11 the other day (I don't think that's quite the right word), you, from that day to this day, he's not any bad thing that's happened. Someone sneezes loudly. Some people called off church cuz they couldn't get to the church. But some people here (where he is) and they called off church because of the rain. I'm not sure what the point of this is. People look for an excuse to get out of church. Haymayun good preachin! My daughter is watching Roseanne so she didn't comment on how that's not modest. 

But we need to be preparating our heart (hold on, I think I have a new location LMAO) for Christ cuz he's soon coming. We're soon gonna get out of here and go home. (I am home. I live in the mountains now and I love it. I don't want to leave.) Are you ready to go to heaven? (No cuz I don't think there's alcohol there.) He has almost 5,000 friends. Does he believe all of them are saved? No. Are you ready for such an hour? Good thing about a herr-icane is they got a good lead on it so you can get out of town. No more prepar-atin' for heaven. No more getting the chance to go to heaven. (So he like wants them to die? I'm confused.) Are you prepared/ready to meet god? Face to face. The TV show in the background is loud. LOL Like he couldn't even get up off the couch where someone else is watching TV. Something about being ready to face judgement. (Who's in a hurry for that?) Is it well with your soul? Have you got a hotline to heaven? (Good alliteration.)  Jesus is coming, very soon. Are you ready to meet your maker face to face? He prays that you're ready. He prays the answer you have is from the Bible. God bless ya. Prepare your heart. The lord is soon coming. We are soon leaving. 

That's all for now, sistren.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Bro Ghaw sucks his teeth and it’s a bad habit for anyone but especially a  HAYMAYUN preacher. He is not using enough toothpasta!  Hollerulah!!

bet he really doesn’t like us

oh, and God is still all the time good, good times with God,  and Ghaw.  Happy weens to all.

Thanks @PumaLover you are so good to do these recaps.  I can’t get past the teeth sucking.  You win free weens for life!

[DancingPhalanges]

@PumaLover thank you for the recaps. So basically same message different day. Bro G might settle in for another winter with nothing to do. More FB lives to deal with possibly. 

I’m glad the day turned out well after carsick episode. That’s been me a few times.

Cheers Sis, hope you had a drink after the nostril flarin’

Sis Dancing

[PumaLover]

Thanks friends, I do drink after I'm home at night. That's what makes these sermons bearable (and funnier to recap). The molestation/abuse is 100% not funny, so I feel kind of weird recapping and laughing. It's disturbing so maybe that's why I laugh. I try to see a bright side in all people, but can't see it in the Bro. 

*trigger warning molestation* Since none of y'all know me IRL (except one)  I can probably share a story. My daughter came to us through a relative. She has lots of siblings from the same mom. I worked with her as a young child as a mentor, through my husband's family. Her mom was on drugs; family members were raising the other kids or they were in foster care. Her two youngest sisters were with her mom on and off. One said she had been (sexually) abused by the mom's boyfriend. Long story short, the girls got out of foster care and they're back with the mom, who lives with said boyfriend. The mom said the daughter took that story back. What 4 year old lies about being touched in a certain area by a man? Seriously. A little kid doesn't make that up. 

The mom has been in contact and is approved with child services. Super shitty by my standards but I live in an extremely poor county, where foster parents are few and far between. They all live with the mom and probably perv boyfriend. My daughter has been with us since she was 11. Her sisters are very young still. But the state has cleared their bio mom and I guess the potentially perv boyfriend to live with them. They are hoping to get custody of the boyfriend's daughter.

I'm so sorry, I've had a few drinks and am rambling. It's been a rough day. Nothing gets to me like people who abuse children or animals. We just decided tonight that we are going to be taking in my husband's nephew on weekends. His dad has been neglectful and nonexistent throughout his entire life. It breaks our hearts. The little boy was out with my husband today, trying to cook hamburgers with him. My hubby wants to take him fishing and do other fun things with him, so he can have a positive male role model. It is so frustrating that people just breed whatever and whoever they want, and then not  be around to take care of them afterward. It's my hill to die on. I explained to my daughter earlier– I never wanted children of my own. (For so many different reasons I don't want to go into.) I told her that by not having my own (bio kids), it gave me a chance to help so many more. I could be an auntie. (For the record, I don't like babies, I don't have patience, etc.). Not everyone is like this, I know. I don't judge anyone, except those who abuse children. Sorry for the rambling. It's kind of how I write most of the time. But this is getting to me so much right now. 

[FullOfGravy]

5 hours ago, PumaLover said:

He went to the grocery store today on the way back from church and they were out of bread and milk.

Now that's interesting.  I don't know any really hardcore fundies, but went to school with kids whose families were what I'd call fundie-lite.  Without exception, they were all opposed to Sunday shopping.  Some would still go to restaurants after church (because making waitstaff work on the Sabbath is fine, but not retail employees?), but the stricter families wouldn't set foot in any business.  

Of course, there was an ongoing argument where I lived at the time about whether stores over a certain square-footage should be allowed to open on Sundays, so maybe some people were just taking a stand because it was a current issue.  The public debate wasn't about religion, but about guaranteeing a day off/family time for retail employees.  Unsurprisingly, it was resolved in favour of more shopping, and the hell with employees' personal time.

Also, thank you for being a safe and stable home for your daughter and nephew.  Why is it that people who aren't responsible enough to raise kids are also not responsible enough to use contraception?

[FundamentallyShocked]

10 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

@FundamentallyShocked I like your kids!  Mine would have done the same - cracked me up! Btw, I have the most.amazing.baked.bean.recipe that I will share in the cooking club.  I had to beg for this one from a relative - and it is THAT good.

 

I joined the club just for this recipe.

I should add that my beanie weenies  included bacon and polish sausage along with a dash of brown sugar. And nothing PINK in the pot!

[MayMay1123]

11 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

@FundamentallyShocked I like your kids!  Mine would have done the same - cracked me up! Btw, I have the most.amazing.baked.bean.recipe that I will share in the cooking club.  I had to beg for this one from a relative - and it is THAT good.

I was listening and attempting to transcribe GHaw's latest live, and I started - then he just went on and on and I gave up. Storms, people dying, his stats were off, nope.

A few minutes afterward, tho, some brilliant person attempted to get his attention in the comments, but it appears to be gone now (of course):

 

nanna grandma is also busy on the blessed little homestead facebook page...

[Yogi]

16 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

@FundamentallyShocked I like your kids!  Mine would have done the same - cracked me up! Btw, I have the most.amazing.baked.bean.recipe that I will share in the cooking club.  I had to beg for this one from a relative - and it is THAT good.

I was listening and attempting to transcribe GHaw's latest live, and I started - then he just went on and on and I gave up. Storms, people dying, his stats were off, nope.

A few minutes afterward, tho, some brilliant person attempted to get his attention in the comments, but it appears to be gone now (of course):

 

 Pretty sure this Nanna person has also been posting on Naugler FB threads as well. You gotta be careful or fundies lock down their pages. And it becomes much harder to keep tabs on them. I hope this person stops poking. 

[MarblesMom]

6 hours ago, FundamentallyShocked said:

I joined the club just for this recipe.

It is posted    Makes a heap ton... great for a crowd!

[Palimpsest]

41 minutes ago, Yogi said:

 Pretty sure this Nanna person has also been posting on Naugler FB threads as well. You gotta be careful or fundies lock down their pages. And it becomes much harder to keep tabs on them. I hope this person stops poking. 

Agreed.  I also don't believe in peeing on Fundie turf (it often just encourages them to be more obnoxious) or poking mentally unstable bears like N. Naugler.  

Fun aside, I think there is also something seriously off about Bro. Gary.  He's a very angry man.

[Tree Hugger 2]

Sis @PumaLover We are in awe of you. Please do take some time to look after yourself and cleanse your brain. Listening to just a few minutes is a task. Reading what he is trying to say is a bit unsettling that, yes, he actually is that much of a blathering dimwit.

I tried watching but couldn't get past the nostril shot and teeth sucking. All I got was that he is "preparating" for heaven and everyone else should do the same because "hurrycane" ..... also he knows he is going to heaven to have a supper served by God. He knows this because he has been bathed in the blood of the holy lamb, or something like that...

 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, Tree Hugger 2 said:

I tried watching but couldn't get past the nostril shot and teeth sucking. All I got was that he is "preparating" for heaven and everyone else should do the same because "hurrycane" ..... also he knows he is going to heaven to have a supper served by God. He knows this because he has been bathed in the blood of the holy lamb, or something like that...

I didn't even try to watch.  He's gross.

Don't know how he's "preparating" for heaven..."perpertrating" may be more like it and I suspect that heaven might be iffy.  And I'm sure that any deity or demon has better things to do than serve whatever mess Bro wants for supper.

[Ms. Squishels]

In that last video, Gary seems more low-energy than usual for him.  He almost seems like he's drunk or something.  But I'm sure he wouldn't commit a sin like that, but he seems off.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Ms. Squishels said:

In that last video, Gary seems more low-energy than usual for him.  He almost seems like he's drunk or something.  But I'm sure he wouldn't commit a sin like that, but he seems off.

I take it you mean off in a different kind of way.

[Mar]

On 9/17/2018 at 4:49 AM, PumaLover said:

OK folks, I thought Bro was wearing the same shirt from the other night but it's slightly different. I've had kind of a long day and got thrown up on in the car earlier. My daughter's sisters were visiting for the day and both got carsick, poor things. We went on to have a great time at the lake. 

Ok Bro. There's a lot of noise and talking in the background. Apparently he just had to start speaking at just this very time. Storm's still a going, God's still in control. My daughter is watching TV in the background and it's distracting so I got my earbuds. Holy Rufus is it spooky having his voice right in my very ears. 

Some people didn't get out of bed this morning and they won't be going back to bed tonight. Why? They're dead. (Sad, and no snark on that, just the way he's saying it.)

The storm's going, wind rain, lot of damage. Last count they got today 12 people passed away. That's sad. (Since I have the earbuds in I can hear someone watching TV or something in his background. Why not go to a quiet place?)

They're evacuating a bunch of people because of the storm. A few days back there was a bunch of people who wasn't preparing for this or expecting this. People boarding up and stocking up with food. He went to the grocery store today on the way back from church and they were out of bread and milk. He didn't look at much else. I'm guessing the store had plenty of red weens and white flour still. We prepare for everything except for the lord. He said something funny that sounded like bench-ridden people but I can't tell if that's what he said and my Google Chrome won't let me rewind. I have issues. People prepare for everything except the lord Jesus Christ. We've been prepar-ating. (Had to switch browsers. I am not computer literate at all.) Yes, he said bench ridden-people. 

Oh he's not gonna say there's anything wrong with you making plans. A lot of people the last few days had to make plans and decisions. Are the houses and property worth repairing? Making decisions they've never had to make before. But what about making preparations. He told the church this morning, (he stumbles over the word destruction) something about how we just celebrated 9/11 the other day (I don't think that's quite the right word), you, from that day to this day, he's not any bad thing that's happened. Someone sneezes loudly. Some people called off church cuz they couldn't get to the church. But some people here (where he is) and they called off church because of the rain. I'm not sure what the point of this is. People look for an excuse to get out of church. Haymayun good preachin! My daughter is watching Roseanne so she didn't comment on how that's not modest. 

But we need to be preparating our heart (hold on, I think I have a new location LMAO) for Christ cuz he's soon coming. We're soon gonna get out of here and go home. (I am home. I live in the mountains now and I love it. I don't want to leave.) Are you ready to go to heaven? (No cuz I don't think there's alcohol there.) He has almost 5,000 friends. Does he believe all of them are saved? No. Are you ready for such an hour? Good thing about a herr-icane is they got a good lead on it so you can get out of town. No more prepar-atin' for heaven. No more getting the chance to go to heaven. (So he like wants them to die? I'm confused.) Are you prepared/ready to meet god? Face to face. The TV show in the background is loud. LOL Like he couldn't even get up off the couch where someone else is watching TV. Something about being ready to face judgement. (Who's in a hurry for that?) Is it well with your soul? Have you got a hotline to heaven? (Good alliteration.)  Jesus is coming, very soon. Are you ready to meet your maker face to face? He prays that you're ready. He prays the answer you have is from the Bible. God bless ya. Prepare your heart. The lord is soon coming. We are soon leaving. 

That's all for now, sistren.

I think it‘s amazing how that video is more than 9 minutes long and this is basically all that he says: „The lord is coming soon, are you ready?“ (Just going by your recap @PumaLover, I can‘t make it through his videos) Why can‘t he at least make an outline of what he wants to say so he doesn’t have to drone on for everrrr. The videos could be so much shorter and easier to follow. I can’t imagine anyone watching these videos finding them interesting or helpful, even if that person shares the same views as BG.

By the way, there’s a new video up, so in case you don’t have anything to do @PumaLover...? Thank you so much for watching for us! 

[ElToro]

On 9/15/2018 at 6:40 AM, PumaLover said:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

(Totally off topic but I'm working on a novel about a fundie girl who escapes and the guy who helps her get out turns out to be an asshole and an abuser. I'm kind of disturbed about what I'm writing and it's carrying over to other parts of my life.)

 

I would SO read your novel. Anyone who can translate Weenese into coherent English deserves the Pulitzer.

(And, anyway, it sounds like an interesting story.... Where on earth could you have got your inspiration??) Let us know when it's finished!!

[keepercjr]

I watched/listened to the newest video.  For a good taste of the crazy start watching at the 11 min mark ?

also at 13:45 there is a young child screaming and sounds of smacking.  I hope that the child isn’t being smacked!  Looks like bro G and Becky are freeloading with his parents again.

i would recap but I have a very busy 1 year old... that doesn’t lend itself to a lot of typing lol.  But every video recap can read “you need to be borned  again to go to heaven”.  That is it.  Literally.

[SIngingforsupper]

Bro Gary has a geeeft and it's Jesus! The yelling and smacking then turned into screaming and Ghaw kept a preaching'. UGH he is awful and I think he is falling apart in an angry way.