Bates 25: Moving The Kids Out of the House

[fluffernutter]

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but my husband had a cousin who had a disney princess theme wedding. Like we walk into her shower and she is wearing a tiara and sitting on a throne. The wedding was the same way. We were all perplexed. She looked like an adult version of my daughter at age 4 wearing dress-up clothes. It was so bizarre. Maybe that floats some folk's boats. But I can't relate.

 

[CaptainFunderpants]

42 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but my husband had a cousin who had a disney princess theme wedding. Like we walk into her shower and she is wearing a tiara and sitting on a throne. The wedding was the same way. We were all perplexed. She looked like an adult version of my daughter at age 4 wearing dress-up clothes. It was so bizarre. Maybe that floats some folk's boats. But I can't relate.

 

I'm entirely intrigued in a trainwreck sort of way. Elaborate/tell the whole tale? How they met? What's he like? Whar's she actually like? Deprived childhood? What's she like now post-wedding? etc. etc. etc.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

55 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but my husband had a cousin who had a disney princess theme wedding. Like we walk into her shower and she is wearing a tiara and sitting on a throne. The wedding was the same way. We were all perplexed. She looked like an adult version of my daughter at age 4 wearing dress-up clothes. It was so bizarre. Maybe that floats some folk's boats. But I can't relate.

 

not my thing but I don't see it as any different than any other theme wedding.  star wars, ren faire … people are quirky and if it makes them happy they should have at it imo

[fluffernutter]

They incorporated the disney princess theme into anything they could. Toppers, decorations, her dress and tiara, etc. They now seem completely normal from what I can see on fb. We aren't close and haven't seem them since the wedding. She shower was at her parent's house, and all seemed normal there too. The odd thing is that Bill's cousin (the groom) is such a guy's guy. Big beard, big into hunting and sports and football watching. It was odd. Whatever floated their boats!

[Kelsey]

16 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but my husband had a cousin who had a disney princess theme wedding. Like we walk into her shower and she is wearing a tiara and sitting on a throne. The wedding was the same way. We were all perplexed. She looked like an adult version of my daughter at age 4 wearing dress-up clothes. It was so bizarre. Maybe that floats some folk's boats. But I can't relate.

 

I couldn't make sense of walked into her shower and her wearing a tiara. I thought why are they walking into someone else's shower together and why is someone already there in a tiara.....then I realized you meant her wedding shower not her actual bathroom shower. Oops.

[GreyhoundFan]

On 11/24/2018 at 2:29 PM, Calypso said:

Trace showing off to a mystery girl

(From his Instagram story)

Those poor horses look embarrassed.

[AliceInFundyland]

The Big Fat Gypsy Wedding dress designers (the UK and US both] led me to believe that Disney princesses were quite common inspiration for dress design  and entire weddings. The idea of being a princess one day of your life really goes to some people’s heads.

[OyToTheVey]

12 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

The Big Fat Gypsy Wedding dress designers (the UK and US both] led me to believe that Disney princesses were quite common inspiration for dress design  and entire weddings. The idea of being a princess one day of your life really goes to some people’s heads.

Mostly because they only ever have that one night. Those girls are destined to clean and cook. They don't get another day to be the center of attention. 

PS: I'm kinda obsessed with that show lol

[AliceInFundyland]

As with everything I think we don’t see all of it - but the overwhelming tradition does appear to be get married and back into traditional gender roles.

I’ve seem some random specials here and there focusing on girls wanting jobs and education. I think that does definitely exist within the culture.

Also, they want to preserve their heritage and traditions and I think they realize they have to speak out for themselves and present a  better face. The leade of one of the horse fairs, Billy Walsh seemed very well-spoken on this topic.

It’s interesting.

[TeaELSee]

On 11/24/2018 at 1:29 PM, Calypso said:

Trace showing off to a mystery girl

Seriously, he is flossing on a horse....

[VBOY9977]

New bub promo

I think the surprise Zach mentioned about him and Whitney might be a baby since the vow renewal isn’t a surprise. Let’s see what happens!

[singsingsing]

2 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

New bub promo

I think the surprise Zach mentioned about him and Whitney might be a baby since the vow renewal isn’t a surprise. Let’s see what happens!

Ha! Okay, even I have to admit, that was kind of a cute promo with Zach having to do it all alone because everyone else was going to meet the baby.

Sometimes their surprises are like, "We bought a new house!" Or, "We're going to the dentist!" (Okay, that's more of a Duggar one...) So who knows. 

[Kangaroo]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Sometimes their surprises are like, "We bought a new house!" Or, "We're going to the dentist!" (Okay, that's more of a Duggar one...) So who knows. 

Don't forget "Who's having twins?" When Chad and Erin got baby goats!!!

 

[miss_batson]

Bates boys got all muddy again ?

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 11/26/2018 at 11:20 AM, OyToTheVey said:

Mostly because they only ever have that one night. Those girls are destined to clean and cook. They don't get another day to be the center of attention. 

PS: I'm kinda obsessed with that show lol

Those girls usually don’t finish school so they didn’t get to go to their prom and be a princess for a day. That show does make me sad because those girls get so much push back if they don’t want to get married, start having babies, and clean house the rest of their lives.

[AliceInFundyland]

They could do a calendar at this point. How many young fundy maids are out there angling (via daddy) at a Bates Boy?

[sleepy_doggos]

They could do a calendar at this point. How many young fundy maids are out there angling (via daddy) at a Bates Boy?

Not enough, apparently.

[TeaELSee]

On 11/30/2018 at 6:05 PM, AliceInFundyland said:

They could do a calendar at this point. How many young fundy maids are out there angling (via daddy) at a Bates Boy?

It’s funny, when I was in Rocky Top last month the cutest (actually beautiful) young woman was our waitress at Cracker Barrel. My first thought was, “ I wonder if she is dating one of the Bates boys”?   I’ll let you know if she shows up on the show! 

[HarleyQuinn]

I've come to the conclusion that these dudes must have shitty personalities. They post all this dickbait for fundie women on instagram and none of them are courting, 

[nastyhobbitses]

On 12/1/2018 at 12:05 AM, AliceInFundyland said:

They could do a calendar at this point. How many young fundy maids are out there angling (via daddy) at a Bates Boy?

I actually do find it kinda strange that the Bates boys, who are quite prominent and wealthy and (to be rather blunt) much more conventionally attractive than the Duggar boys, AND don't have the stain of national scandal (yet), have only managed to get one among their ranks married off. Maybe it's an age thing (Lawson is 26, Nathan is 25, Trace is 21), but Josh married at 20 (though I think he was an exceptional case), Joe and Josiah at 22, and JD at 28 (and he and others made a point that he was "old" by fundie standards). Trace still has some time, Nathan had the crash-and-burn with Ashley so I think that slowed his roll, but Lawson is hitting the "so old by our standards that we'll make comments about it" age. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think Lawson doesn’t want to be tied down. I’ve always thought he would be later to marry. Lawson loves the attention he gets from girls (and everyone). If Lawson got married, it would be unbecoming for a single fundie girl to give him any attention. She might look like she’s flirting. Which would be a huge problem. I think that’s a big factor in why he’s still single. He’s trying to make it as a music star in fundieland and if he’s married, that causes some problems.

I think Nathan wasn’t ready to date anyone for quite awhile after Ashley. I think it was a huge hit to him and maybe he held out hope for awhile that they would get back together. I think he’s probably had enough time now and could start courting anytime. But he might be pickier this time so it’s taking longer. He doesn’t want another broken heart so I bet he’s going to make sure she’s perfect for him before he jumps all in. 

I think Trace is still pretty young so I’ll give him time.

[formergothardite]

9 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I've come to the conclusion that these dudes must have shitty personalities. They post all this dickbait for fundie women on instagram and none of them are courting, 

I think it is probably a combination of having shitty personalities and for Lawson, not really wanting to give up his fundie bachelor life where he gets to travel and be fawned over by pretty young women. 

[Lurky]

I can 100% see why young Fundy men might want to put off marriage.  The patriarchy hurts men too, and while on the one hands there's sex involved in marriage, it's a big deal for them - they'd have to be responsible for supporting a family in 9 months time, with their parents expecting them to have kids every 2 years until their 40s, and it's not just that they'd be expected to be a sole wage earner, but also the spiritual leader.

There wouldn't be the spare cash to have their own plane, mudder vehicles, recording careers, horses, missioncations to disaster areas, and so on, and so on.  And they're not as constrained by their sisters, who have to wait until marriage for such small "freedoms" as being able to wear jeans, or a shocking haircut like a long bob, and who are expected to sister-mom all the siblings, so there's less pressure to marry.

I know that Zach has Whitney, who works, etc, but I don't know how much of a catch the other young men would be to someone more secular, as Zach had oldest son privileges.  If anything, I'm surprised at the young Duggar men marrying young - but the Duggars have always encouraged young marriages, except for with JD, who got weirdly more freedom than his brothers.  But if there's not that pressure from the Bates parents, I can see why their sons who remember the poverty years would shy away from being responsible for a family while they can.

[Pecansforeveryone]

@Lurky, yeah I agree 100% about the single fundie men being less constrained than their sisters. It's why I felt bad for Jana but not JD as single fundies. JD just doesn't have same amount of chores and child care as Jana. He just doesn't. When he's flying somewhere he is in theory "free" of his parents gaze and micromanagement in as way that Jana isn't. I wouldn't rush into marriage either if I were a fundie male.

[just_ordinary]

13 hours ago, Lurky said:

I can 100% see why young Fundy men might want to put off marriage.  The patriarchy hurts men too, and while on the one hands there's sex involved in marriage, it's a big deal for them - they'd have to be responsible for supporting a family in 9 months time, with their parents expecting them to have kids every 2 years until their 40s, and it's not just that they'd be expected to be a sole wage earner, but also the spiritual leader.

There wouldn't be the spare cash to have their own plane, mudder vehicles, recording careers, horses, missioncations to disaster areas, and so on, and so on.  And they're not as constrained by their sisters, who have to wait until marriage for such small "freedoms" as being able to wear jeans, or a shocking haircut like a long bob, and who are expected to sister-mom all the siblings, so there's less pressure to marry.

I know that Zach has Whitney, who works, etc, but I don't know how much of a catch the other young men would be to someone more secular, as Zach had oldest son privileges.  If anything, I'm surprised at the young Duggar men marrying young - but the Duggars have always encouraged young marriages, except for with JD, who got weirdly more freedom than his brothers.  But if there's not that pressure from the Bates parents, I can see why their sons who remember the poverty years would shy away from being responsible for a family while they can.

I agree. We sometimes forget that those boys/man children are hurt by their upbringing too. I would be terrified of the responsibility after a childhood of harsh parenting and not being allowed to think for myself. I also think we underestimate the pressure of sex for them. They are virgins too and must feel as awkward as the women. And the narrative that only men are responsible for the pleasure of women is probably even stronger in their circles than in our heathen ones. And I don’t think they believe it’s normal or don’t realise it when a woman is permanently unhappy with this part of marriage. Hasn’t one poster who has more personal knowledge of their cult mentioned that finding pleasure in sex is important for both sexes? I know the Pearl’s might argue differently but I don’t think they are IBLP. 

But I digress. I just wanted to say that I think we sometimes look so much at the women that we forget to see that the men are victims too (the second generation of course). It’s just concealed as they have it easier but that doesn’t mean they don’t suffer too. The best examples are Josh and Josiah in my opinion. Josiah looks just depressed and lifeless from time to time and I believe Josh would have gotten the appropriate help and consequences or wouldn’t have done such horrible thing at all in the first place (I don’t care about the cheating apart of the hypocrisy as there a million people cheating on their partners.) if brought up outside their cult. Hopefully their problems won’t affect their wives and children in a bad way (in Josh’s case affect them any further).