Lori Alexander 53: Mourning Mom ... Maybe

[EowynW]

Alyssa's insta story is bringing back a lot of memories from my own two deathbed tending experiences. Both hella painful but also very good. Hardest thing I've ever done, watching someone die. But I feel like I am forever changed for the better because of it. 

 

[louisa05]

@3splenty The priest who came to anoint my dad at hospice was from a nearby parish and came there frequently (a coincidence for us--my brother had called him specifically because we couldn't get an answer on the phone from my dad's parish and we knew this priest from our high school days). He told us while he was there that he tells the nurses there all the time that being a hospice nurse is a special calling from God. 

I can't say enough about the care and love my entire family received at the hospice house where my father died. We go back once a year when they have a Christmas fundraising event. It is a special place. 

[Frog99]

Alyssa’s instastory made me sad. It doesn’t look like Lori has made it there. As much as I think she is a vile human being, I do hope she’s able to come to some peace about her relationship with her mom (I think it was more conflicted than what she presents). I don’t think she has much of a relationship with her siblings, and I’m not sure she has the emotional depth to build meaningful relationships. 

Thank you to all who shared your stories of grief and loss. Prayers for peace and comfort for all of you. 

[Sarah92]

A couple summers ago my great grandma passed away. She was well into her 90s and was still selling Avon right up until her death. I remember when she was in the hospital I booked a hotel room so we could visit her. The morning we were supposed to leave we learned that she had passed. Maybe she knew my mom, who was probably the closest to her, was coming. We ended up going the following week for the funeral. I remember it being very hard on my grandpa being at his mother's funeral. My mom isn't close with her father but she was still there to comfort him. 

For whatever reason my mom always wanted my great grandma's butcher block. Nothing else really, just the butcher block. I can't remember why my gg had it but it's solid wood and a couple hundred pounds.  Getting it home was a challenge but now it's a coffee bar. The rest of the house was sold. I wish it wasn't because I always loved that house and it's 70s vibe. As children, my sister and I were always amazed at her pristine white bathroom rugs and towels. All of her Avon receipts were typed on a small type writer and I don't think she ever got a cell phone. 

[EmiGirl]

I remember how dreadfully upset I was when my pawpaw died. I had been there all day and finally went home for the night. I hadn't been home 10 or 20 minutes when my mom called to tell me he was gone. I made my husband take me there immediately (it was about a 20 minute trip) and I fell into my mom's arms sobbing. I still feel incredibly guilty for leaving. I knew I shouldn't,  but I did anyway. I don't think that guilt will ever go away. 

I know he wasn't alone, but everyone was there ... except me and I'll never forgive myself. 

[Koala]

I just hope Lori will be gracious to her family (for once) and not use this as an opportunity to shame and judge people for whatever she perceives to be wrong with them.  I also hope she won't use it as an opportunity to insist on being "served".  As someone mentioned upthread, I could easily see her having a health "crisis" that = her needing immediate attention/spoiling from family.

 

[Gemini]

On 8/9/2018 at 1:59 AM, EowynW said:

Alyssa is there with her grandmother. Cannot believe Lori is enjoying her vacay while her own mother is dying. 

I know Lori’s kids are grown up but their Grandmother has passed. what sort of mother doesn’t want to be there to support her kids through this! 

[Gemini]

7 hours ago, Hisey said:

or 60. A six-year old is a helpless, dependent child who will only have a few memories with his mother.

This!

my daughters lost their Dad at 14 and 5. They missed out on a life time with him. they’ll never have grad pictures with him, he won’t be at their weddings or meet their children. My youngest gets upset because she struggles to remember him clearly and doesn’t have any stories that are just hers and his. 

The fact that Lori cant see the difference between losing a parent at 6 or 60 just highlights her complete lack of empathy for anyone that isn’t her. 

[lilwriter85]

12 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

I read through that reddit thread and, provided that the OP was not a troll, then I am amazed that they could think they could get away with ignoring the brother's will, homophobia and racism aside.   I suspect the OP was not trolling, they really were that dumb.   There are folks who are woefully ignorant about what a will entails, it's not something to ignore if it's inconvenient.  The estate is not money to play with. 

And some folks find out the hard way that being an executor is a legal responsibility that carries some serious penalties that the executor will bear personally, if he/she, quite frankly, fucks it up.   Years ago, a member of the in-law family, who as executor, distributed money before it was appropriate to do so, got called out by a probate judge for her decisions.  Let's just say some family members (not me or Mr. No)  were really nervous about having the money clawed back, not sure how it was resolved as they all shut up about all their newfound riches after that.  It seems that in this case, they didn't spend all the money by this time but I got the feeling it disrupted some really big plans.

 

I wondered if it was troll after someone on the thread mentioned it. I'm leaning that the OP and his family are real, but just very stupid. The OP seems naive about the situation. In some posts, he seems to believe that he can easily work with the brother's partner and the partner's lawyers to come up with repayment plan "without making things worse" aka going to court.  People replied that it's too late to come up with a "repayment plan" and that it's going to court.  This was one of my favorite replies.

Quote

What's fair is honoring your late brother's wishes. Better start fundraising the funds back because there's not a "we didn't approve of his will and decided family should have it instead" probate option.

 

[HoneyBunny]

6 hours ago, Gemini said:

I know Lori’s kids are grown up but their Grandmother has passed. what sort of mother doesn’t want to be there to support her kids through this! 

And her father. Why isn’t she there for her father (who rubbed her feet when she was sick)? This is one of the hardest parts of life, seeing a parent die, sitting with them for hours or days, wondering if each breath might be the last one. It’s agonizingly painful. At the end, we were told my dad really couldn’t hear what we were saying (he had stopped knowing me a couple of years earlier from Alzheimer’s). But I was at Mom’s side through those long last days. She needed me, even if I couldn’t do anything for Dad.

And then I stayed with her for a few more weeks to write thank yous and run the house and manage the stream of friends who stopped by. She wanted all of Dad’s things to go to the church rummage sale which was starting in a few days and I made countless trips with a full car over there, and made phone calls to insurance companies and organizations Dad had belonged to. The end of a life leaves a lot of loose ends; will Lori step up to help her dad or return to Door County?

I know we all react differently to the death of a parent but this whole Door County vacation is incredibly callous on Lori’s part. No thanks, lady. I don’t need any lessons on being a good Christian from you. 

[nokidsmom]

10 hours ago, EmiGirl said:

I remember how dreadfully upset I was when my pawpaw died. I had been there all day and finally went home for the night. I hadn't been home 10 or 20 minutes when my mom called to tell me he was gone. I made my husband take me there immediately (it was about a 20 minute trip) and I fell into my mom's arms sobbing. I still feel incredibly guilty for leaving. I knew I shouldn't,  but I did anyway. I don't think that guilt will ever go away. 

I know he wasn't alone, but everyone was there ... except me and I'll never forgive myself. 

When Dad was in hospice, the hospice staff encouraged us to take care of ourselves as well and to not feel guilty about going home and getting rest or getting something to eat.  They constantly reminded us of this.

When my uncle died, he had been in hospice for several days and the staff encouraged the same thing.  My aunt and cousins went every day, all day but they did go home at night.   That last day, my aunt went home and a couple of hours later, my uncle passed in the late hours of the day.  

It's hard to know when things will happen and you make the best judgement call you can plus you do have to take care of yourself.   Being at the bedside all day is pretty exhausting, physically and emotionally.  

[nokidsmom]

13 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

I know we all react differently to the death of a parent but this whole Door County vacation is incredibly callous on Lori’s part. No thanks, lady. I don’t need any lessons on being a good Christian from you. 

Maybe this has been mentioned earlier, but did Lori go ahead with her annual Door County vacation knowing full well it was quite possible that her Mom could pass while she was gone?   I mean this is a woman who pretty much is on vacation every day of her life.

21 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

The OP seems naive about the situation. In some posts, he seems to believe that he can easily work with the brother's partner and the partner's lawyers to come up with repayment plan "without making things worse" aka going to court.  People replied that it's too late to come up with a "repayment plan" and that it's going to court.

Briefly getting back to that Reddit thread, the OP doesn't understand that once the disbursements were made to the family that was not in accordance with the will, they were toast right then and there.   There's no backtracking here as much as they might try.   

[louisa05]

45 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

And her father. Why isn’t she there for her father (who rubbed her feet when she was sick)? This is one of the hardest parts of life, seeing a parent die, sitting with them for hours or days, wondering if each breath might be the last one. It’s agonizingly painful. At the end, we were told my dad really couldn’t hear what we were saying (he had stopped knowing me a couple of years earlier from Alzheimer’s). But I was at Mom’s side through those long last days. She needed me, even if I couldn’t do anything for Dad.

And then I stayed with her for a few more weeks to write thank yous and run the house and manage the stream of friends who stopped by. She wanted all of Dad’s things to go to the church rummage sale which was starting in a few days and I made countless trips with a full car over there, and made phone calls to insurance companies and organizations Dad had belonged to. The end of a life leaves a lot of loose ends; will Lori step up to help her dad or return to Door County?

I know we all react differently to the death of a parent but this whole Door County vacation is incredibly callous on Lori’s part. No thanks, lady. I don’t need any lessons on being a good Christian from you. 

Well, to be fair to Lori, "honor your father and mother" isn't mentioned in Titus 2. 

In actual seriousness, she's a bitch from hell. And I don't understand how her followers can't see through her. It is so blatantly obvious. Then, on the other hand, I get how they don't. In my time in evangelical world, there was such an easy trust of anyone who mentioned the Bible or Jesus as being automatically good (as long as they weren't known to be Catholic). There was also an acceptance of blatant hypocrisy, faults and sin for anyone in the public eye as long as they continued to talk the talk. Walking the walk wasn't as important. (See also: Trump, Donald J.). 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Anyone know her mom's name?

Its nice to see no post today and that she is finally dealing with real life (maybe).

[AlwaysDiscerning]

So they are trying to trademark "the transformed wife". LOL!!!

I wonder if this has to do with the other transformed wife on facebook in hopes of being able to shut her down. 

https://www.trademarks411.com/marks/87774293-the-transformed-wife

Lol, claims the "first use anywhere" was october 2016 when her book came out. But that other transformed wife was around for longer than that I think, AND AS IF no one in the history of the world has never used those words before. 

[nokidsmom]

19 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

In actual seriousness, she's a bitch from hell. And I don't understand how her followers can't see through her. It is so blatantly obvious. Then, on the other hand, I get how they don't. In my time in evangelical world, there was such an easy trust of anyone who mentioned the Bible or Jesus as being automatically good (as long as they weren't known to be Catholic).

Oh yeah, during my enforced time in evangelical world (which was college, the education itself wasn't involuntary but being around overly evangelical staff and students in order to get it was) I noticed there was an automatic acceptance and trust of anyone who said all the right things (keywords: Bible, Jesus, personal savior)   And there was so much shock and dismay if the person didn't turn out to be who everyone thought he/she was.  And yeah, they had a thing about Catholics too.   Not Catholic myself but Catholic classmates complained of being treated like they were the worst of all the heathens non-evangelical students.

[Loveday]

16 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

So they are trying to trademark "the transformed wife". LOL!!!

I wonder if this has to do with the other transformed wife on facebook in hopes of being able to shut her down. 

https://www.trademarks411.com/marks/87774293-the-transformed-wife

Lol, claims the "first use anywhere" was october 2016 when her book came out. But that other transformed wife was around for longer than that I think, AND AS IF no one in the history of the world has never used those words before. 

The other Transformed Wife started her blog in July of 2015. I don't know if she started her FB page at the same time, though.

I'm betting this is more to shut down the Transformed Wife 2.0, though.

[cara]

Alyssa seems to have a close, loving relationship with her grandmother, possibly formed during those 'bad' two years Lori worked and grandmother was caregiver. Doesn't seem to have traumatised Alyssa too much... I wonder is Lori's instance that children can't be left in the care of grandparents born out of jealousy of her daughter's close bond with her extended family. 

[molecule]

56 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

So they are trying to trademark "the transformed wife". LOL!!!

I wonder if the original transformed wife knows about this?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

4 minutes ago, molecule said:

I wonder if the original transformed wife knows about this?

I messaged her. She is aware. 

[SilverBeach]

8 hours ago, Gemini said:

The fact that Lori cant see the difference between losing a parent at 6 or 60 just highlights her complete lack of empathy for anyone that isn’t her. 

My mother lost both of her sons, one was 41 and one was 49. These losses almost killed her despite them both being well past childhood. No doubt, losing a parent as a dependent child is different than as an independent adult. My nephew was only 14when my youngest brother died, and I think being a young teen losing his father (they were close) affected him in ways that losing mine at 38 did not. But the pain? No damn difference. It hurts like hell to lose a child of any age or a parent at any age.

And yes, Lori i the most empathy-free person on the interwebz. Oh wait, that might be a tie between her and JRod. Kind of a dad heat there.

[quiversR4hunting]

8 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

I messaged her. She is aware. 

I hope high and mighty door county Lori gets told no by the trademark peeps! And references the fact another person has used it longer. (Btw, I have zero idea how obtaining a trademark works)

[lilwriter85]

20 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I hope high and mighty door county Lori gets told no by the trademark peeps! And references the fact another person has used it longer. (Btw, I have zero idea how obtaining a trademark works)

I'm also hoping she and Ken don't get the trademark. She'll have a bitch fit and Ken might pissed at the money he had to spend in trying to get the trademark.  

[Hisey]

I'm glad the other Transformed Wife has been notified.

I think Lori is doing this to try to get rid of the 2.0 page. Maybe the owner of the 2.0 page should put in an "opposition".

[Emilycharlotte]

Scrolling down on that page, it says that anyone wanting to contest the trademark had 30 days to do so---starting June 29, 2018.