Willis Family 3: Toby Is Evil

[NakedKnees]

14 hours ago, Front Hugging Fiend said:

The Willis Clan has performing tons lately, fairly active on social media. Looks like Jenny's gotten married, but it's not public online yet so I won't be posting anything about it.

Also, Jessica just recently performed at a backyard concert put together by her cousin Chris Wright, and she performed a brand new song called My History. She introduces it as something she's written recently, one of the few songs she's written over the past couple years. It's very clear what the song is about.

In my opinion, she sounds stunning, it's a beautiful song, and I'm glad to hear she's doing well. And that's her husband up there with her - a solid support system. So great to see.

 

Aaaand I'm crying. That video is so nice to see. Thank you so much for sharing.

[DillyDally]

Jenny got married, some pictures can be found on the Facebook page of their wedding location: https://www.facebook.com/FiveStarRetreat/ and on the keepingupwithfundies tumblr.

Sneak peak:

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, DillyDally said:

Jenny got married, some pictures can be found on the Facebook page of their wedding location: https://www.facebook.com/FiveStarRetreat/ and on the keepingupwithfundies tumblr.

Sneak peak:

Gorgeous! The bridesmaids dresses and flowers are beautiful as well. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I think her whole look is gorgeous. This is the sort of dress and leaf crown that i kind of envisioned Joy Duggar. All the happiness in the world to the beautiful couple. 

8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Gorgeous! The bridesmaids dresses and flowers are beautiful as well. 

 

[Front Hugging Fiend]

More updates! New album coming! and the band has officially relaunched with just six of the siblings - they've mentioned that the younger siblings will be healing out of the spotlight. I have to admit, I'm very impressed. They've taken their time, they've come together, and they've prioritised the safety/healing of the younger siblings. Follow this link to go to the photo and read the comments, everyone seems really supportive, there are no plans for a tv show, and they've said that the recovery and healing for the younger siblings has to come first so they won't promise that the younger ones will make an appearance any time soon.

 

Edited July 28, 2018 by Front Hugging Fiend
the link wasn't linking properly

[quiversR4hunting]

I just saw a billboard in my town that the Willis family is coming to town. I am glad the family is healing but I don't think I could even attend. The venue that they are performing at serves alcohol, does anyone think that will be allowed during their concert?

The IG screenshot posted by @Front Hugging Fiend says that they younger kids are out and just the 6 are performing. Yet if you go to the F/B page and hover over the concert dates it shows different pictures with 11 kids. I wonder if only the 6 older are traveling why they still use pictures with all the kids.

[Front Hugging Fiend]

On 8/11/2018 at 4:06 AM, quiversR4hunting said:

The IG screenshot posted by @Front Hugging Fiend says that they younger kids are out and just the 6 are performing. Yet if you go to the F/B page and hover over the concert dates it shows different pictures with 11 kids. I wonder if only the 6 older are traveling why they still use pictures with all the kids.

those concert dates/events were booked and posted months and months ago with older pictures. They just performed in Dublin, Ohio and invited a couple of their younger siblings to play before they start the school year. 

My guess is that they hadn't made definitive decision (maybe Brenda also needed to decide) so they used the old band pictures to promote. You'll see all of them look younger in those pictures. The profile photo and cover photo (with their new album cover) show 6 of them. So. The 6 are touring and are officially in the band. Younger siblings are not officially in the band and are focusing on school and healing.

idk. doesn't seem too confusing to me.

[quiversR4hunting]

@Front Hugging Fiend thanks for explaining. 

I don't follow them closely so didn't know the age of the photos. When they were on tv, they seemed like singing duggars so I didn't watch them.

I'm glad the younger ones are concentrating on school and healing (which I hope means therapy).

[Front Hugging Fiend]

no worries, @quiversR4hunting! I usually spot Jasmine (she's 16 now but had just turned 14 when the band/family went quiet after the scandal). She's the giveaway because she's so tall and now looks so much like Jet and Brenda! 

 

Side note - the new album is available for preorder. Jessica wrote 'Speak My Mind' while she was still living at home and experiencing abuse, and that's the band's first single (and name of the album). It's a beautiful song (Jenny is singing lead on it) but kinda haunting also. 

[AliceInFundyland]

I hope it’s cathartic and healing. When I watched the show - it was clear some of them did enjoy performance. They did not enjoy the iron fist of their father. If they can recover from that it’s great. It does seem soon

[Four is Enough]

This family, unlike others, (I'm looking at you, JRod) does seem to have real talent. I'm glad that they have been able to separate out the good and important from their disappointments and hurts, and move forward. My best to all of them, except the  father.

[choralcrusader8613]

Their new album is dropping this week. I listened to the song Jessica wrote, and while I think it would have been very powerful if she was the lead singer on it, I also totally understand why she didn't.

The music video they did is good as well (but HUGE trigger warnings for displays of physical abuse and gestures that could read as inappropriate touching, but nothing overtly untoward)
 

 

[WiseGirl]

People magazine article.

https://people.com/crime/willis-clan-daughter-talks-dad-rape-arrest-new-album/

 

[JMO]

Did anyone else see them on Megyn Kelly the other day?

[Jana814]

58 minutes ago, JMO said:

Did anyone else see them on Megyn Kelly the other day?

I did. I thought they were well spoken. It seems like that have no contect with their father (meaning they don’t see him in prison) but are still close to their mother and don’t blame her for what happened they say she was a victim too. Where as the 5 Browns who were on her show a few weeks ago have no contect with their mother. 

[englandgirl24]

Does anyone know of anywhere I can either watch or listen to Jenny speaking at this event https://www.irishcentral.com/events/jennifer-willis-festival-of-politics

[Natalie22]

On 11/29/2018 at 8:51 PM, englandgirl24 said:

Does anyone know of anywhere I can either watch or listen to Jenny speaking at this event https://www.irishcentral.com/events/jennifer-willis-festival-of-politics

I found this: https://soundcloud.com/irishtimes-women/ep-258-jennifer-willis-on-surviving-sexual-abuse-dublin-feminist-film-festival

 

[faraway]

I listened to that podcast with Jennifer and it seemed a little strange to me. At one point she talks about Toby in a way that seemed to minimize what he did and prompted the interviewer to say that "he is a pedophile". Then the interviewer asks about Brenda's role and Jennifer says she didn't know about the sexual abuse going on. We know from Jessica's that this is not true, she may have been in denial but she was alerted at an early age by Jessica. On Brenda carrying any guilt, J says that they all carry guilt (the older girls) for not speaking up sooner to protect their younger sisters. I found that sad, they seem really protective of Brenda.

And all this "you can choose to be happy" does not sit well with me, I don't think this is necessarily a good thing for other victims to hear.

An interesting thing is that the older 6 are moved out or in the process of moving out. Only the 3 girls are married so maybe the 3 boys get a chance to live independently.

Oh, and when she was asked about Trump she dodged the question. 

[Gobsmacked]

10 minutes ago, faraway said:

I listened to that podcast with Jennifer and it seemed a little strange to me. At one point she talks about Toby in a way that seemed to minimize what he did and prompted the interviewer to say that "he is a pedophile". Then the interviewer asks about Brenda's role and Jennifer says she didn't know about the sexual abuse going on. We know from Jessica's that this is not true, she may have been in denial but she was alerted at an early age by Jessica. On Brenda carrying any guilt, J says that they all carry guilt (the older girls) for not speaking up sooner to protect their younger sisters. I found that sad, they seem really protective of Brenda.

And all this "you can choose to be happy" does not sit well with me, I don't think this is necessarily a good thing for other victims to hear.

An interesting thing is that the older 6 are moved out or in the process of moving out. Only the 3 girls are married so maybe the 3 boys get a chance to live independently.

Oh, and when she was asked about Trump she dodged the question. 

She didn't need to answer the Trump question. That wasn't the reason she was talking. Her political beliefs have zero, zilch to do with what her father did to his daughters. 

[faraway]

She did not need need to answer any question period, it's a free world. However she was asked how she felt about a man being in that positions with accusations by many women and I find it strange to not have anything to say. I don't expect people to elaborate on their political positions.

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, faraway said:

I listened to that podcast with Jennifer and it seemed a little strange to me. At one point she talks about Toby in a way that seemed to minimize what he did and prompted the interviewer to say that "he is a pedophile". Then the interviewer asks about Brenda's role and Jennifer says she didn't know about the sexual abuse going on. We know from Jessica's that this is not true, she may have been in denial but she was alerted at an early age by Jessica. On Brenda carrying any guilt, J says that they all carry guilt (the older girls) for not speaking up sooner to protect their younger sisters. I found that sad, they seem really protective of Brenda.

And all this "you can choose to be happy" does not sit well with me, I don't think this is necessarily a good thing for other victims to hear.

An interesting thing is that the older 6 are moved out or in the process of moving out. Only the 3 girls are married so maybe the 3 boys get a chance to live independently.

Oh, and when she was asked about Trump she dodged the question. 

Disclaimer, I have not listened to the full podcast yet.

As far as "dodging" the Trump question - she was not there to talk about Trump.  She was there to talk about familial sexual abuse and incest.  Asking about Trump detracts from her message - and her knowledge.  I don't blame her for deflecting.

As to the rest:  different people, even in the same family. may know different things at different times and experience things - differently.  So Jennifer's narrative not being a carbon copy of Jessica's is probably honest not wrong or dissembling.  

And please let us not talk about "guilt" or try to assign guilt to victims and survivors without knowing the whole story.  Brenda is in her own way a victim.  I thought we had been through this discussion already.

And don't lay guilt on the older sisters either.  Talk about blaming victims!

People deal with horrible circumstances as best they can - and within their own experiences and knowledge.  We don't know the inner dynamics of the family.  Nor do we know everything that went on.  What we do know is that it was a climate of fear, secrecy, and denial - and that can be incapacitating for the victims.

Let these survivors heal and tell their stories in the way they want.  Don't assign guilt to them because they don't match your expectations.   I'm sure they are blaming themselves without your help.  And they need reassurance that all this was not their faults.

 All the guilt belongs to Toby.  End of story.

[faraway]

Whoa, excuse me? They are talking about carrying guilt in the podcast, that's what I am referring to. I am not placing guilt on anyone, I wrote above I am sad the older girls carry guilt.

Please listen to the podcast and read carefully before making such horrible accusations against me!

I will admit though that my expectations have probably been too high, I got excited when I saw that she was on what looked like a feminist podcast and the tone on those is usually very different.

Edited December 16, 2018 by faraway

[Palimpsest]

10 minutes ago, faraway said:

Whoa, excuse me? They are talking about carrying guilt in the podcast, that's what I am referring to. I am not placing guilt on anyone, I wrote above I am sad the older girls carry guilt.

You are very correct.  I'm so sorry.   I badly misread this bit.  Need new glasses. 

2 hours ago, faraway said:

J says that they all carry guilt (the older girls) for not speaking up sooner to protect their younger sisters. I found that sad, they seem really protective of Brenda.

I misread that as "I say" not "J says."  Beats head against wall, covers self in sack cloth, puts ashes on head and gets ready to set off to Canterbury.

I did have a knee-jerk reaction but that is because I've fought off victim blaming on Willis threads before.  I should have read your post more carefully.

Again.  Sorry.  Very sorry.

But I still think she was right to deflect the Trump question.

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I did have a knee-jerk reaction but that is because I've fought off victim blaming on Willis threads before.

I guess Brenda is a victim (though I haven't seen any hard evidence of it, like DV reports). 

But she's not a victim in the same the way the children are victims. 

This is a fact, and I don't think you need to rush to "fight it off." It's a fact, a 38-year old has far more choices than an 5 year old.

And I don't think Jessica will fully heal till she recognizes this, because it is part of the story. I think Jessica's in denial about her mother's role (enabling the abuse), because it's too painful right now.

I wouldn't insult Brenda by saying she had no choices, like a child. Jeez, she ignored a letter that Jessica wrote her years ago, telling her mom she was being r*ed and asking for help. Brenda also watched Toby beat Jessica, and when the police arrived, allowed Jessica to hide so the police wouldn't see her bruises and blood. She hid her husband's abuse from the cops!

If a mandated reporter did these things, they'd go to jail.

Maybe Brenda did this because she was in denial. Maybe she was afraid--or terrified. Maybe she had no idea how she'd support her family. Maybe Toby told her he'd try to get the children.  Maybe she didn't want to give up her lifestyle and TV show. These are all reasons that people don't leave.

It's crazy to pretend that the dysfunction began and ended with Toby. Most women would live in the streets to protect their children from being raped.

 

Edited December 17, 2018 by Hisey

[melon]

What's so awful is he abused 4 of his 8 daughters.I think there may have been physical abuse to the boys and Brenda,but I am not sure.He sounded like a controlling person,too,besides a POS.