Fundie terms/cultural elements you like

[antifundie]

One of the things that's attractive to me is that it made me feel validated in my choice to quit my jobs and stay at home to raise my son, but now that doesn't seem like it's going to work out a it makes me feel like crap. (My husband is against daycare and wants me to homeschool, but he doesn't think he should be the sole provider and wants me to either bring my son to work with me or stay home all day to raise him then work a night shift job on top of it). A lot of the Fascinating Womanhood/patriarchy type stuff was attractive to me because it took a lot of pressure off in certain areas, but that only works if your husband holds up his end of the bargain. It also makes you so much more vulnerable to emotional, and probably physical, abuse.

Uh, when does your husband think you will sleep in this arrangement??

And I do think some of the Patriarchy stuff does take the pressure off--you have fewer choices, so less to consider. But I don't think that works long term, nor do I think it's healthy. But being able to say "my husband won't let me" can sometimes let you off the hook for taking responsibility for your actions. Obviously, I think that's bad, but I can see the appeal.

And I TOTALLY miss the potlucks. And...yeah, that's about it...

[tehgoobster]

This is kind of a tough question because things like working hard, hospitality, homeschooling, etc. don't belong exclusively to fundies. I mean, someone could be an atheist hippie and still be into those sorts of things. Anyway, I do like that they put a lot of emphasis on working hard. Many of them seem to live quite simply, and I like that as well. Homeschooling (if done right, of course) is cool, too.

[valsa]

Well, my husband's family is this way. He's not just friends with one kid from one family. The parents consider us their "adopted children" and we call their siblings Jude's aunts and uncles. When my husband's mom died all the families came together to support them. She died of brain cancer and had nurses come to the house and when my father-in-law, who travels a lot, would be gone, the other parents would come and help take care of her. MY friends weren't friends with me or my parents and at most would have just sent a card saying "Dude, that sucks." That is why I admire that trait...even if they do have to keep sweet.

Yeah, but a lot of people do the same thing, even if their whole family isn't the friend of the other whole family. When my mother had to be hospitalized once, several of my friends' mothers helped take care of me and made dinners, etc for the family, even though they weren't friends with her. And we weren't members of the same church either.

[Kaylee]

Uh, when does your husband think you will sleep in this arrangement??

Apparently he doesn't consider that his problem. I'm starting to realize that my husband is kind of an asshole.

I worked 60+ hours on 3rd shift for a while, and sold real estate PT (30-40 hours) during the day before I got pregnant, and I was wiped out all the time then. I don't think he realizes/cares how wiped out I was then, or that it's gonna be a lot harder with a toddler in tow.

[alphaeta08]

I've always thought the SAHD lifestyle would be cool for a while. I don't mind housework, as long as I have my iPod, and it would be nice to focus on hobbies and stuff the rest of the time. I guess the caveat would be that it would have to be in my family as it is now: one sibling, living pretty comfortably (i.e. not eating weeds or paste-noodles), listening to and watching whatever I want. School and work are just stressful sometimes, and it would be nice to check my brain at the door for a while (why do you think I watch various Kardashian media? ;) ).

[ladypuglover]

I wouldn't say what I like about the fundy lifestyle could be TM by fundies but enjoyed by anyone. I think even more crunchy granola folks would like what I like about it than fundies would.

Homesteading

Debt Free

Tons of happy kiddlets

Making my own chicken stock, my own jam, sweater, laundry soap ect...

Finding peace in reading the Bible

Meeting new people

Home schooling

Breast feeding, cloth diapers, and celerbrating childhood/babyhood

Crafting

Maybe not fundy at all

[muffynbear]

I was just wondering, more out of curiosity than for any other reason, if there are any bits of fundie jargon or elements of the fundie subculture you like.

(For my own part, I actually like how the phrase, "Come alongside" sounds, in that it emphasis the mutuality of a situation even when it seems that one person is helping another without getting anything in return.)

What do I LIKE about the fundie lifestyle? Umm... hmmm...maybe getting to cook and prepare meals all day? Since I like to cook and all... but that's about it. Not really something that is exclusive to fundies really, but that's the ONLY thing I can think of.

[DamnPrecious]

I like the men working and women staying home, I think that it should be a choice.

I'm in minority I'm not fond of long hair and skirts.

[Soldier of the One]

This is a really interesting thread and might actually give us some insight into our fundie-watching habits. Is it because fundies are like a mirror? Perhaps we are critical of what (secretly, or not-so secretly) is appealing to us.

I wouldn't be able to gauge whether fundies are on the whole 'successful' in terms of selling their subculture but I do feel fundie-ism is making inroads into mainstream culture so there must be some measure of success. If so, the question begs itself WHY people are drawn to this lifestyle.

I think quite a few people on this thread have provided the answers. Because aside from the dogma, the coercion and all the other problematic stuff, it can be an appealing lifestyle. I think people are drawn in on account of the lifestyle and then accept the theology later on.

As for me, yes, I like modest dress and keeping home (with hubby, as equals!) and crafting and cooking and self-reliance and simple living and being debt free. All those things are good things. And that's why I read the blogs. I like the focus on family, making the home a special place and the consciousness with which they engage in marital relationships. Of course, disagree with the patriarchy, the restriction of intellectual freedom and the Biblical literalism. But it's interesting how with many of us, the fundies strike a chord.

[thoughtful]

There's not a thing that is exclusive to them that I find appealing.

I am not very interested in current popular culture, like long hair, adore children, am a homebody and very frugal -- there is a lot about me that incidentally corresponds with their external "style."

But, as others have said, none of that originated with them.

The "my way or the highway (to hell)" religious beliefs, limits for women and children, perversion of homeschooling, corporal punishment, self-righteousness, lack of choice in life, etc. far outweigh anything appealing.

[valsa]

As for me, yes, I like modest dress and keeping home (with hubby, as equals!) and crafting and cooking and self-reliance and simple living and being debt free.

Meh. You can find all those things in a Campbell's Soup commercial too, but it doesn't mean there's anything "more" to those commercials than a marketing ploy.

Fundies have good P.R.

They've taken traits that the majority of Americans would like to have in their lives and act like they're the exclusive property of the fundy culture, all while purposely hiding or downplaying (or glorifying) the bad parts of the lifestyle.

Fundy culture works like any other scam- show people what they want (in normal scams it's money, in the fundy scam it's the "perfect life") and make money while telling people how to supposedly attain these things, which they can never actually do.

[keeperrox]

I think the absolute certainty would be a nice break, but as someone said above, I like to think for myself.

I strive for a simpler, more sustainable lifestyle, but that's not "fundie" in and of itself.

[latraviata]

There's not a thing that is exclusive to them that I find appealing.

I am not very interested in current popular culture, like long hair, adore children, am a homebody and very frugal -- there is a lot about me that incidentally corresponds with their external "style."

But, as others have said, none of that originated with them.

The "my way or the highway (to hell)" religious beliefs, limits for women and children, perversion of homeschooling, corporal punishment, self-righteousness, lack of choice in life, etc. far outweigh anything appealing.

Exactly.

I am an atheist I love my children and loved to take very good care of them. I sewed their cloths when they were little. My hair used to be long and I cooke(d) from scratch.

Somewhere in the nineties I believe, long skirts were very much 'en voque' and I had a few.

Nothing new here.

No homeschooling, I don't like it and it is hardly an option in my country , no bible, church and no corporal punishment!!

[emilymea]

I miss the slower pace of life and community meals/all around feeling of community that we had.