Fundie terms/cultural elements you like

[Burris]

I was just wondering, more out of curiosity than for any other reason, if there are any bits of fundie jargon or elements of the fundie subculture you like.

(For my own part, I actually like how the phrase, "Come alongside" sounds, in that it emphasis the mutuality of a situation even when it seems that one person is helping another without getting anything in return.)

[ElphabaGalinda]

I like really long skirts and really long dresses, but that's just what I feel most comfortable in. Sometimes I feel like I would enjoy the absolute certainty about everything, but then I remembered that I'd much rather think for myself. I also would love the sibling closeness they appear to have, but i'm not entirely convinced it's real, and i wouldn't want that at the expense of real friends. Other than that, I don't like anything. I do like that i've never met (or even seen I think) a fundie in real life, at least the Christian kind, so i'm happy i live in a place that they apparently don't like to live.

[longskirts]

I like long skirts.

I like homeschooling.

I like how fundies try to relate the Bible and various classics to their own lives. Sometimes their interpretations are a stretch, but at least they are involved in the reading. I've seen so many students in school who just skim through assignments and don't try to relate to them.

I like some aspects of the courtship model where people "interview" potential life partners before committing and starting a physical relationship after marriage--only if they are old enough though, not for fifteen-year-olds!!

I think avoiding debt is good.

[Patsy]

I wish I had a better work ethic, or managed to be "high-functioning" during my crises.

I think family unity is a good thing, and a lot of fundie families do genuinely manage it.

[treemom]

I like debt avoidance...but it isn't like the fundies invented that :)

[liltwinstar]

I miss the big potlucks and the sense of community. Of course, those good times came at the cost of toe-ing the party line no matter what, but they were still fun.

I miss feeling "special" or "chosen" - I'm really quite ordinary and boring, but I didn't know that for a long time - our beliefs conveyed the idea that we were special to God - more special than "ordinary" Christians.

Some days (like today), I wish I could stay home and clean and knit and bake cupcakes, but that's only becuase my house is a mess and I had a frustrating weekend. So a little "me" time sounds good. The vast majority of the time I've very happy to be earning a paycheck, that's for sure!

Other than that, I don't miss/like anything. I *love* my birth control pills, access to the money I've earned, makeup, etc. Plus I *really* like being able to go to bed without worrying that God will kill me for my sins. Just sayin'

[valsa]

None. I like debt avoidance and family togetherness but 1) as someone else said, fundies didn't invent those, and 2) I don't think they do it right anyway.

Fundies promote family unity but parents who have more and more kids, to the detriment of the family, aren't putting the family first and having one half of the families act as slaves due to their gender isn't for the best of the family either. Also, there are some reasons to go into debt. College, for one. By beating it into their children's head to avoid debt at all cost, they're essentially blocking their ability to pursue higher education (particularly the girls as they are advised to avoid working outside the home to be able to pay for college themselves or are only allowed to work outside the home until they marry)

[lilwriter85]

I like debt avoidance...but it isn't like the fundies invented that :)

I agree.

[Jessica]

Skirts/dresses and long hair.

Homeschool (when done right)

Homebirth (also when done right... NOT the Duggar way!)

Family closeness

Natural medicine (when done right and for actual health reasons and not just to stick it to The Man. I like my infusions and aromatherapy as much as the next person but if my sore throat isn't going away after several days of treatment at home I'll go see a doctor)

Work ethic

Debt avoidance

I think it's cool that, for example, the BatesES will drive up to see the Duggars and stay with them a week or two. When I was growing up, my friends were my friends, my parents friends were their friends. My friends' parents weren't friends with my parents so I'd go to their house but I'd go alone and just be dropped off. I think it's neat that whole families are friends with other whole families.

[Fat Actress]

I miss feeling like I had one big family. Granted my church was cultish and controlling, but it did meet some needs. Sometimes I miss the feeling of having a definitive higher purpose, but not at the expense of discovering and pursuing my own passions.

I'm kind of a crunchy hippie, so I like the aspects of fundiedom that mirror my own lifestyle. (homebirth, gardening, canning, and the like)

[valsa]

I think it's neat that whole families are friends with other whole families.

I think that whole thing is phoney, so I'm not too impressed by it. The reason whole families usually aren't friends with other whole families is because there are usually age and personality differences, plus there are other options for friends. With fundies, everybody has to "keep sweet" and keep up a godly appearance. No one is allowed to have their own personality, so of course it's easy to be "friends" without personality conflicts. Not to mentioned having a bunch of kids of the same age is just coincidence and when you're not allowed to have friends in the "outside world", you take what you can get.

[emmyfair]

I like having long hair, being debt free, and that's about it from this train of thought. I also don't believe these are fundie invented concepts. Also, although I like these things, I would not force these ideas on other people, just because I like them.

[jjmennonite]

The food!! The community. But like the other stuff, they did not invent it. Mom's job was to be a cook and homemaker, and she did a GREAT job of it. We always had a houseful of people. Such fun. But, I don't think she had too much choice.

When my daughter was 4 she asked me 'When you get to be as old as Grandma, will you be able to cook as good as she does?"

[dcmhejbl62]

Debt-free living

Natural / alternative medicine (though they've distorted the good in it by making it a statement of opposition toward all other forms and the government)

Homeschooling (again, though, homeschooling is supposed to EXPAND educational options, not restrict them)

Positive thinking and thoughts

And I like the emphasis on close family relationships, mostly because in my youth they really didn't seem to care, it was all about military style discipline and the verse where Jesus says his presence will turn families against each other. So I see it as a positive development; as with most things, however, the fundies are never content to let the pendulum rest in the middle.

[fundiefan]

Family closeness. But, that's not a fundie creation, so I can't really even say that. Close families exist in all societies and always have.

There are days when I am overwhelmed with fear and/or worry about future that I wish there was someone who would just make decisions for me and tell me what to do; some days when I wish concern over money and making it weren't 'my' job and I could just live with my head in the sand while someone else took care of it all and the worry about it as well.

But, those days never last and I don't have those thoughts because I want to live a different life (especially not a fundie life) but because I'm scared, at a crossroads, unsure of my choices or want a break.

[fundies_like_zombies]

sometimes i think that being a SAHD and having no responsibilities would be nice. spending days sewing and going to church and feeding chickens.

not having to stress and freak out about working and paying for a house.

[Jessica]

I think that whole thing is phoney, so I'm not too impressed by it. The reason whole families usually aren't friends with other whole families is because there are usually age and personality differences, plus there are other options for friends. With fundies, everybody has to "keep sweet" and keep up a godly appearance. No one is allowed to have their own personality, so of course it's easy to be "friends" without personality conflicts. Not to mentioned having a bunch of kids of the same age is just coincidence and when you're not allowed to have friends in the "outside world", you take what you can get.

Well, my husband's family is this way. He's not just friends with one kid from one family. The parents consider us their "adopted children" and we call their siblings Jude's aunts and uncles. When my husband's mom died all the families came together to support them. She died of brain cancer and had nurses come to the house and when my father-in-law, who travels a lot, would be gone, the other parents would come and help take care of her. MY friends weren't friends with me or my parents and at most would have just sent a card saying "Dude, that sucks." That is why I admire that trait...even if they do have to keep sweet.

[Lily]

Homeschooling (I'm with others, not to restrict, to expand)

Self-reliance

Divorcing oneself from mainstream culture

Conscious consumption/low mindless consumerism

Debt free living

Community (my choice of company is obviously different, but having a strong bond to a personal, face-to-face social group)

Natural medicine

Natural eating (some fundies, at least)

Doing things for yourself

Homebirth

Large families

Keeping family close, instead of everyone having totally separate spaces, away from each other all day, every day separated and divided as a way of life. Some of that is good, but I tend to think it's been taken to the extreme in our society and truly IS breaking down family life.

Gardening

Hmm...

I guess I'm pretty much a fundie in slutty clothes and without the god thing.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Things I like and kind of miss from the fundie-farm:

the sense of community

having friendships that weren't just with people my own age - growing up, I had friends but i also got to be friends with their parents, siblings, etc..

the debt-free living

the attitude toward education (this is by no means universal but the circles of fundie-dom that are big into classical education/reading primary sources, etc.. really revere discipline and study, even if I don't always agree with the interpretations)

saner pace of life

[dawn9476]

I would say definitely the missionary work they do around the world. There are some places in the world that probably wouldn't have access to some kind of health care if not for fundies.

[Sola]

Long skirts - I love long skirts. I find trousers uncomfortable and I am waaay past wearing short skirts!

Debt free - we're not debt free but we are mortgage free now. We've worked hard to get to this point and I agree that debt is not the way to go and should be kept as small as possible.

Food - many fundies seem to have healthy diets with lots of home cooked food. OK not the Duggars, but many other fundies do.

Handicrafts - As a 'crafty' person who sews, knits and crochets I like to get ideas and look at what other people have made.

Homesteading/Smallholding - I would absolutely love to be able to trade our small mid terraced house in for something in the countryside with a bigger garden. I love growing my own veg but I am limited to what I can grow with our small garden. I'd really love to keep chickens too. A friend of mine keeps a few chickens but she has a slightly bigger property and a huge garden.

[latraviata]

I was just wondering, more out of curiosity than for any other reason, if there are any bits of fundie jargon or elements of the fundie subculture you like.

(For my own part, I actually like how the phrase, "Come alongside" sounds, in that it emphasis the mutuality of a situation even when it seems that one person is helping another without getting anything in return.)

I am sorry, but there is absolutely nothing I like about fundies and their lifestyle/terms/cultural elements

Actually I find it hard to even like (non fundie) religious people in general.

[Kaylee]

I like most of it. I enjoy wearing long dresses/skirts and modest clothes, although I don't think people should be required to only where that. I am very much on board with self-reliance, and homeschooling, homebirth when done responsibility, and doing more as a family rather than relying mainly on outside friends, television, etc for influence and entertainment.

One of the things that's attractive to me is that it made me feel validated in my choice to quit my jobs and stay at home to raise my son, but now that doesn't seem like it's going to work out a it makes me feel like crap. (My husband is against daycare and wants me to homeschool, but he doesn't think he should be the sole provider and wants me to either bring my son to work with me or stay home all day to raise him then work a night shift job on top of it). A lot of the Fascinating Womanhood/patriarchy type stuff was attractive to me because it took a lot of pressure off in certain areas, but that only works if your husband holds up his end of the bargain. It also makes you so much more vulnerable to emotional, and probably physical, abuse.

I guess I like a lot of the image - the exterior trappings of the lifestyle, but I got disillusioned with it when I saw it doesn't work out like that for most people, and that it's a really horrible place to be if you question any of it or don't live up to their expectations. In some ways, I would love to have that certainly that some fundies seem to that God is real, that we know his expectations, etc and so on, but I've seen too many people who have said so then got totally burned out. I want to be free to doubt and question and find out so I can really know for myself, and you can't do that when you have to pretend otherwise around most of the people you know.

[gingernut]

I love long skirts....if I had my choice I would be in some sort of gypsy bohemian long skirt/bangles/hippie thing kind of outfit. But hey...fundies don't have a corner on long skirts!!!

[silvia]

Debt avoidance, yeah. That's about it.