Lori Alexander 32: Breastfeeding Begets Boners

[Sarah92]

6 minutes ago, onemama said:

One man comments on Facebook:

Chapter and verse, please. 
 

I'm pretty sure a lot of these guys haven't read the passages of the Bible that contain women. A lot of the women in the Bible were quite forward and got stuff done. The woman that washed Jesus' feet with perfume, the gentile that came and asked that her daughter to be healed, the one that was bleeding who touched his garments, Ruth, Esther, Mary, Martha, Jael, Deborah. So I don't think the problem comes from assertive vs. passive. 

[onemama]

Another man:

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There is only one reason why this happens; and it is the same reason Satan identified in Eve - a rebellion against authority, due to a lust for power and control

Or for many of the reasons already mentioned. 
 

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Most women are simply unable to accept that the husband is the head of the wife, the home, and they should submit to his leadership. Rather, they want to be in charge and in control - of the husband, of themselves, and of whatever they choose do do.

I understand a man not wanting to be controlled by his wife, wives don't want to be controlled either. Maybe the problem is the controlling husband. 

Chapter and verse for the underlined bit, please. 

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Now you cant even challenge these things with everyone being politically correct and pandering to the sensitive egos of women. And if you do, be prepared to be abused, derided, and ostracized, or be accused of misogyny, chauvinism and prejudice (if you are a man).

You do sound like a misogynist and a chauvinist, hurling accusations at women who don't want to be dominated and would like to be treated as equals

[Frog99]

There’s also this comment: 

Sam Chhuon: My wife left me and took the kids while I was at work. She finally got her degree in nursing, found a job and pretty much acted like 10 years of marriage meant nothing to her. We're not even divorced yet and she's already found another man whom is still married. My mother quit her job to help her pursue her dream in nursing by watching my kids while I was out working to support everyone. It does not help that the laws don't protect men like me.

What protection does he need? I’m so confused. Laws against women’s rights? 

@AlwaysDiscerning I find her post interesting- in my experience, men rarely get full custody. I’m not minimizing her experiences at all, but I think there is more to the story. I stalked her page after another post she made and then peeked at her hisband’s page. He’s not happy with his job (too many hours) and is looking for a new one. He says she’s unable to work and both are unhappy that she has been ordered to pay child support (around $250). 

On another note- when I was younger we attended a Pentecostal Church. I babysat and one family I sat for kind of set off an alarm to me. They seemed nice but something wasn’t right. Not long after that, my father said I would never be allowed to watch their children again. Turns out there was substantial domestic violence going on- not long after my father said that, there was a particularly bad incident and it became known in the church (that’s how I figured out what was going on). I can only guess that my father heard of the domestic violence and determined the risk was too great- he never gave me a reason just a statement that I was not to have any involvement with the family. I sometimes wonder what happened to them. They stopped coming to church. 

 

[Sarah92]

Also I noticed that Lori commented "I'm so sorry" to the man that posted. But is virtually silent on the women's stories even when there is abuse. Instead she usually hops right towards down playing their experiences as she does with Sandi (who's back again, someone should get her over here. she'd probably find real support). Or she deletes there comment. Can she show any less empathy?

[Curious]

On 10/25/2017 at 12:21 PM, Koala said:

  Quote

During one difficult time, a boy was sticking his pencil on my private parts 

I'm sorry, but seriously how was this supposedly happening.  Kids have desks that do not make poking others very possible, to begin with, and certainly not "on [their] private parts"

How did a teacher not notice this was going on.  Why did Lori not speak up about it, if the teacher's back was turned to the class?  Why wasn't the rest of the class making noise about this while it was going on?  no laughing? nothing to catch the teacher's attention?

Nothing she says makes sense and she contradicts herself in the next breath half the time.

I just don't believe anyone was poking her in the private parts during a class anymore than I believe 6 women sat down and told her they each regretted having their kids and wouldn't do it again.

She is the most unreliable narrator we have on FJ and that's saying something.

[Koala]

58 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

There’s also this comment: 

Sam Chhuon: My wife left me and took the kids while I was at work. She finally got her degree in nursing, found a job and pretty much acted like 10 years of marriage meant nothing to her. We're not even divorced yet and she's already found another man whom is still married. My mother quit her job to help her pursue her dream in nursing by watching my kids while I was out working to support everyone. It does not help that the laws don't protect men like me.

What protection does he need? I’m so confused. Laws against women’s rights? 

@AlwaysDiscerning I find her post interesting- in my experience, men rarely get full custody. I’m not minimizing her experiences at all, but I think there is more to the story. I stalked her page after another post she made and then peeked at her hisband’s page. He’s not happy with his job (too many hours) and is looking for a new one. He says she’s unable to work and both are unhappy that she has been ordered to pay child support (around $250). 

Yep, he claims that the father is a "free loading drug addict", who only cares about drinking and partying.  He further states that they are "not concerned" about getting custody, because the child wants to be with his father "anyways".

So, mom doesn't want to support her child, and she doesn't care if he stays with a drug addict?  Yeah, no.

Anyway, her new (idiot) husband believes that it's illegal for them to make her pay child support, so he's going to get a lawyer.  (Money for a lawyer, no money for child support).

He sounds like a real nutter.  The post about burning his "hellywood" movies is real special. 

[Frog99]

@Koala Yes! I had forgotten about the Hellywood movies! 

Now there is this comment from Amber Dawn: “Harvard just came out with a study. It said because men are not working full time.  Interesting in light of how God has called men to be the breadwinners. It is good for men to work outside the home” 

I pulled the study. It’s 24 pages so only time to skim but I am pretty certain the findings have been taken out of context. I guess it’s pointless to engage. I just hate the lack of due diligence. 

[fundamentallyfearless]

Lori spews off so much crap about divorce but has ZERO experience with it herself. ZERO personal experience. That says a LOT about her credibility on the topic. I am so very much against divorce because it is INDEED  heart-breaking event. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think people should ever divorce... on the contrary. I think far fewer people should get MARRIED because I’ve seen so many friends make that commitment without knowing what it truly means. The cause of divorce, at the root, is marriage. Yet Lori preaches that people should marry young. I know I married very young and am glad I did. But I think it is extremely abnormal and even unhealthy for that to become a modern “norm”... So essentially, SHUT UP LORI!!!!

If she would preach love, kindness, and service... I would have much less irritation with her. But no.

[feministxtian]

my son had something to say about Lori

he may or may not have gotten his vocabulary from me....

[smittykins]

I see the apple didn’t fall far from the tree! 

 

[Hane]

Regarding all those “OMG! My wife just left me for NO REASON!!!” guys, allow me to present Exhibit A:  Ex-Mr.-Hane #2. 

For years, I’d been telling him we had problems that we needed to discuss with an impartial outside observer. He’d either get over his fit of temper or insist we could just “hash these things out ourselves” (translation:  he’d “logic” me into a corner “proving” that he was right and I was wrong). I went to counseling on my own, and finally got him to go when things were already pretty damn awful. 

When the final straw came and I sat him down to tell him I wanted a divorce, he sat there slackjawed and gasped, “Where did THAT come from?” He genuinely had no clue. I gave him a detailed outline of all the major incidents, and he STILL didn’t think any of it was a big deal. 

The same thing happened to my 20-something nephew when he broke it off with his emotionally abusive girlfriend.

That’s how abusers operate: their version of the truth is the only valid one.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

This was deleted 

 

[SuperNova]

I want to address her list personally to illustrate how truly dangerous her thought process is. 

1. The wives feel taken for granted and overly responsible for the relationship. 

I was the only mental adult in my relationship which is funny considering I wasn't even 18 when I got married. Anything that constituted responsibility was mine alone to deal with. There was never acknowledgement of anything that I did, just a beating if I didn't.

2. They keep having the same argument with their partner. 

Yup. I was that nagging bitch just like Lori says. We would argue about the same things over and over. Things like, why is all our money gone? Where have you been for the last five days? Where are we going to get food? Who gave you those scratches on your back? How many days have you been awake on meth? You know, silly and trivial things like that. This usually ended in voilence as well. 

3. They’re not satisfied with their sex lives.

I'm not even going to touch this one. Satisfaction was the least of my problems here.

4. They don’t talk and emotionally connect with their husbands like they used to. 

 When you marry as a teenager, there is no "connecting like you used to".  It's what bothers me so much about the fundy marriage model. Lori says emotionally connecting isn't in the bible and she may be right but telling young women that it's wrong to have a reasonable expectation of their feelings reciprocated is disgusting. My ex was dead emotionally from drugs. Nothing could reach his heart. I can still feel the emptiness...

5. They’ve outgrown their partners. 

Please let this be true for women in abusive relationships. Personal growth is what allowed me to leave. Realizing I had worth gave me the strength to walk out on a man who cared nothing for anything except drugs. I was threatened with death but I felt that anything was better than the hell I was in. 

6. They get to the point that divorce is the only way to put themselves first again. 

I wasn't married to a man. I was married to a meth addict. His drug addiction came first in everything. You cannot reason at all with someone in that state. I remember feeling like I was a hundred years old, like I was ready to lay down and die and if I didn't decide to put myself first, I would have. One day his anger would be out of control and he would kill me. Where would that leave my baby? Decisions had to be made. I could save myself and my daughter, or I could die trying to save my husband. 

Lori ends with this: Love is a choice, women. Love isn’t a feeling or emotion. Love is a choice to be selfless, serving, forgiving, generous, sacrificing, and loving unconditionally. 

Only a woman in her very sheltered and comfortable position could say such a thing. For some women struggling the way I once did, that emotion is the only thing you're grasping on to. It's the only thing that can help make sense of the insanity that you face every day. What does Lori do? She comes along and snaps that tenuous connection. Good going Lori, you chilly bitch.

Sorry for the long personal post. Lori's list strikes such a chord with me. And honestly she does speak with authority. My heart breaks for women who find Lori's teachings at the point in their lives that I once was. I wouldn't have known what to think. 

 

 

[Shiny]

5 hours ago, JillsFlowerHeadband said:

I only casually follow Lori but I have to admit, I had a good chuckle as I was sitting and nursing my infant daughter when I noticed the thread title... and gasp! Shock! One of Mr JFH’s coworkers stopped by to drop something off for him while I was doing so. 

For the record, LF1 went to the door and let him in since we knew he was coming by. He came in, said hi to me and LF1, asked how LF2 was doing, made a comment about his own little boy who’s the same age as LF2, chatted a little about the cooler weather and then talked to LF1 a little about what she was doing in school while he waited for Mr JFH, who was in the shower when he got here. All that time and not once did he become CONSUMED BY LUST AND UNABLE TO CONTROL HIS AROUSAL!!! Wow. It’s pretty sad when some “heathen” man accepts breastfeeding as something natural and nonsexual while good “Godly Christians” like Ken and his ilk can’t control themselves. 

Ah, but see, you just think he wasn't consumed by lust. What you don't know is this incident has scarred him for the rest of his life. He will likely never love his wife again, and you should shoulder all blame if they ever divorce or he becomes a crazed porn addicted lunatic. 

 

[Sarah92]

16 minutes ago, Shiny said:

Ah, but see, you just think he wasn't consumed by lust. What you don't know is this incident has scarred him for the rest of his life. He will likely never love his wife again, and you should shoulder all blame if they ever divorce or he becomes a crazed porn addicted lunatic. 

 

It reminds me, at my old job one of my male co-workers who I think was maybe 21, once pointed out to me someone who was breastfeeding at the restaurant where we worked. Was he driven crazy with lust at the thought of a potentially exposed breast? No. After pointing it out in a very observational tone, said " I don't mind, I don't really think it's a big deal when they do that" and then wandered off back to work. No staring, just a quick observation before going back to work. A 21 year old, non religious male, who admitted to occasionally going to strip clubs had more respect for a nursing mother than I've seen coming from Lori's "Christian" blog. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

A reader says "well researched post" LOL, LOL!!!!

All Lori did was google "why women divorce" and found a HuffPo article and copied it over. Such tough, scholarly research!

I swear these women because they aren't educated and don't believe in education think Lori is so smart because she can google. 

[quiversR4hunting]

11 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

I swear these women because they aren't educated and don't believe in education think Lori is so smart because she can google. 

Degreed by Google University.

I wonder if it is accredited.

[Hane]

@SuperNova, much of this was my first marriage. I had to be the grownup, even though I was 20 when we got married. My alcoholic ex had no desire to work on the marriage, so I had to do what was best for my infant daughter and me.

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Also I noticed that Lori commented "I'm so sorry" to the man that posted. But is virtually silent on the women's stories even when there is abuse. Instead she usually hops right towards down playing their experiences as she does with Sandi (who's back again, someone should get her over here. she'd probably find real support). Or she deletes there comment. Can she show any less empathy?

I noticed this too! It is very revealing. Women write in to say their husbands left them and they are losing their home, their kids are sick or they are living in their car, and Lori either deletes it or (when she is in a good mood) simply ignores it.

 

[mango_fandango]

Ugh. I bet Lisa Kelchner's post gets deleted. 

I think Ken and Lori are in a shitty marriage and Lori is secretly worried Ken will leave. So she posts all this stuff about women working and women dressing "provocatively" and women being the prime instigators of divorce as a kind of defense mechanism. It's OK for Lori to wear shorts because this is Lori and what Lori wants to do Lori does, but maybe she's trying to keep Ken looking at her and not at women in thong bikinis and leggings.

Of course this could all be conjecture and Lori is just a twisted old witch, but we've long speculated about the state of the LoriKen marriage.

[Demonfan]

@feministxtian give your son a high five from me! It was as if he transcribed my thoughts as I read Lori's hateful message.

[feministxtian]

3 minutes ago, Demonfan said:

@feministxtian give your son a high five from me! It was as if he transcribed my thoughts as I read Lori's hateful message.

I will! I still don't know where he got that insulting vocabulary...

[Demonfan]

To all of you who have been in difficult and hurtful relationships and have to read Lori's dismissal of your experiences. I am so sorry that a woman who should be supportive,  understanding and validate your feelings, instead deletes them. She literally deletes the experiences of real women.

[feministxtian]

28 minutes ago, Demonfan said:

To all of you who have been in difficult and hurtful relationships and have to read Lori's dismissal of your experiences. I am so sorry that a woman who should be supportive,  understanding and validate your feelings, instead deletes them. She literally deletes the experiences of real women.

They don't fit her fairytale narrative. She is a female misogynist...and in her mind women are ALWAYS at fault...Personally I think she needs a swift kick in the ass...with steel toed boots...worn by a woman. 

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Ugh. I bet Lisa Kelchner's post gets deleted. 

I think Ken and Lori are in a shitty marriage and Lori is secretly worried Ken will leave. So she posts all this stuff about women working and women dressing "provocatively" and women being the prime instigators of divorce as a kind of defense mechanism. It's OK for Lori to wear shorts because this is Lori and what Lori wants to do Lori does, but maybe she's trying to keep Ken looking at her and not at women in thong bikinis and leggings.

Of course this could all be conjecture and Lori is just a twisted old witch, but we've long speculated about the state of the LoriKen marriage.

I also think the LoriKen marriage is still shitty. There was some speculation here that maybe Ken cheated on Lori with a work contact or female co-worker which could play into her extreme hatred of working women.  I agree, she could posting those things as a defense mechanism.

I don't think Ken will leave her at this point. They are almost in their 60s and he's about to retire. He knows if divorces her it would fuck up his finances as they are in a community property state.