Lori Alexander 30: Bad Speller, Worse Teacher, the Worst Mentor

[lilwriter85]

13 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

I'm curious do we know what she believes about single working fathers? 

I don't think she has ever addressed that subject.  She hates daycares and non-relative babysitters and she would likely suggest that a grandparent or relative babysit for the single dad. We know that might not be possible for some single dads. Knowing Lori, she would probably suggest that a widower remarry as soon as possible. She wouldn't consider various factors. Like the man might want to focus on his kids and dealing with grief for a couple of years. Some women will not want to date a man with kids. In some cases, if a widower remarries, his new wife might want to work or need to work if his salary isn't enough to provide for a wife and kids and some single dads are probably  already struggling as it is.

[Red Jumper]

The short answer is: It's the fault of a woman. (in Lorken's View)

In addition to @lilwriter85 O can imagine they think the solution is that the mother of the children comes back and the (obviously failed) marriage continues. No matter if the split wasn't better for everyone involved. Their rules beat common sense, reality and compassion.

[Koala]

I won't lie.  She has me baffled.  There's something very, very wrong with her.  I think she's getting a thrill from bullying people and deleting legitimate questions, and I honestly don't believe she is capable of caring for anyone other than herself.  She's to the point of being downright scary.

When I think of her frightening her grandchildren by telling them that God sends snakes to bite people who complain, it just makes me furious that their parents would subject them to that kind of treatment.

Someone up-thread mentioned how callously she speaks of her terminally ill mother, and it made me think about a time someone told her how sorry they were, and Lori was like, "Oh well, we are promised eighty years in the Bible, and that's what she got!" ( <----paraphrasing there).  She was just so flippant about the whole thing.  It was chilling.

When you couple that with her lack of emotion towards Ken and her children, who does Lori really care about?

 

[older than allosaurs]

3 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

As far we know she doesn't donate any time to helping in need. I recall an FJer said that Lori was asked about that on FB or  the blog and the question was deleted.

That would be me. I asked if she could recommend any charities or programs, not whether she actually contributed herself. I believe I quoted a bit of scripture about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked.  I really was curious what groups might meet her standards for godly ministry. Poof! It was gone in a flash.

I'm neither a Christian nor a rich person, but my finances are stable and I have no debt. I shoot for a combo of charitable contributions and volunteer labor hours to equal 5-10 percent of my income. My house is less than half the size of Lori's but I have a spare bedroom, and I've had a housemate for the last 10 years. It started out as a short-term rental, but he fell on hard times, and by now he's a member of the family who contributes what he can. When I remarried and my husband moved in, it was understood by all that the housemate is here for the duration. My kids and grandkids see him as an uncle, and all our lives are enriched.

The thing is, I have fun volunteering. I like my housemate. I enjoy being with my grandchildren. I like the paid work I do. I know I'm lucky. And I don't understand this insistence that we aren't serving God unless we sacrifice our true desires for an unachievable and frankly toxic social structure.

 

 

 

 

[Frog99]

In response to a poster who asked about their charitable giving, Lori replied that it's not for them to share what they are doing- that would be bragging about good works (that was the response in a nutshell). I can't get past the fact that they don't tithe- why is that not considered a Biblical command? That's the first thing I do when I get paid (we can pay ours online).

Regarding single dads- DH's mother left the family when he was around 5- he and his brother were raised by their dad. Their dad did remarry (a marriage totally of convenience/necessity and they are now divorced and he has remarried his third wife who is AWESOME). They spent time with their mom- every other weekend, holidays, and time in summer- but the hard raising was done by his dad (who worked three jobs at one point in time just to make ends meet). His dad is kind and giving and you can see the pride he has in his children- his face just beams. His second wife brought a young daughter to the marriage- he raised her as his own, and even after they divorced, he is the one who walked her down the aisle when she got married, and she is a part of all celebrations- and he introduces her as his daughter.

My dad was also important in my life- my mom worked and I don't feel as though we weren't cared for or loved or important. She worked so my dad only had to work one job- which meant we had both of them around for sports games, school activities and field trips, etc.  We didn't go on elaborate vacations- oftentimes we would do a long weekend- sometimes at an amusement park. I have major fond memories of riding roller coasters with my dad- it was our thing.

I hate how Lori and her validators reinforce this notion that minimizes the important role of fathers. Of course, that's on a list of a bunch of things I hate about what she does. 

[lilwriter85]

29 minutes ago, Red Jumper said:

The short answer is: It's the fault of a woman. (in Lorken's View)

In addition to @lilwriter85 O can imagine they think the solution is that the mother of the children comes back and the (obviously failed) marriage continues. No matter if the split wasn't better for everyone involved. Their rules beat common sense, reality and compassion.

I wonder about those situations too. A family friend's son became a single dad with two boys after his ex-wife said that she didn't want to be a wife and mother. They divorced and she moved out of state. His boys were 3 and 4. He made a good living and was able to pay for childcare and other expenses. I'm sure Lori would have still hated on him for placing his sons in daycare. He did marry about decade later and his second wife already had a career. She had been married before with three kids.

 

[lilwriter85]

12 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

My dad was also important in my life- my mom worked and I don't feel as though we weren't cared for or loved or important. She worked so my dad only had to work one job- which meant we had both of them around for sports games, school activities and field trips, etc.  We didn't go on elaborate vacations- oftentimes we would do a long weekend- sometimes at an amusement park. I have major fond memories of riding roller coasters with my dad- it was our thing.

I hate how Lori and her validators reinforce this notion that minimizes the important role of fathers. Of course, that's on a list of a bunch of things I hate about what she does. 

I have found those things to be quite sad when it comes to some of Lori's fangirls. The times I've seen several of them  talk about how their husbands working multiple jobs and they act as if it's a common norm just so they can stay at home. There was a fangirl last year who said something like "That was how it was when I was growing up, dad had two jobs or side jobs so moms can stay at home". The fangirl appeared to be in her 40s. Maybe that was common where she grew up. But, I really don't hear tons of stories of people older than me talking about how their dads worked multiple jobs so their moms can stay at home. I have heard of situations of people working multiple jobs for other reasons, but never really just so the wife can be SAHM.

Lori and some of the fangirls minimizing the role of fathers is pretty harsh. There was a recent comment from a woman had been a single mom with two sons for 8 years and then she remarried. She said that her new husband works multiple jobs so she can stay at home. It sounded more like wants him to be solely a money source and not as a husband or father figure for her sons.

 

[SuperNova]

Lori kicks off todays post by judging people by their waistlines. Doesn't she know that obesity among the poor is so prevalent because carb rich foods are inexpensive and make you feel full longer? If you're poor and have hungry kids processed foods like ramen or boxes of mac and cheese are cheap and filling. Its difficult to make food from scratch without spending alot of time and money.

As for government handouts. Fuck you, Lori. When I was a homeless teenager with a baby, no education, no life skills, and a drug addict for a husband, welfare is what fed us and kept a roof over our heads. My family disowned me and I had nowhere else to turn. What would have happened to me without assistance? Oh, that's right. Lori doesn't answer the what if's. She's there to say one thing over and over and never offer any real useful advice. Lori herself said she would get government assistance if something had happened to Ken when the kids were still small. How does she justify that?

Thankfully I have a much more comfortable life now and take pleasure in being able to give back. My favorite place to donate is Little Dresses for Africa. If you want to be a part of something fun, it's a great charity to give to.

[usmcmom]

I was always so sad at the grocery store when my young daughter asked for grapes. I would only buy them if they were below $3 a pound, which was not often. I HATED that my kids loved fresh produce and I could not always buy it. We always had apples, bananas, a few oranges and carrots - just the basics. We had plenty of canned veggies and fruit when they were little and she loved canned pears. One time, my husband's office put us up in a nice hotel in Chicago. A fruit basket was waiting for us when we arrived. My daughter picked up a fresh pear and asked what it was. She was about four.  When I told her, she gasped and said "I didn't know they made pears like that!"

The first "splurge" I made when my husband started making more money was to buy  a variety of fresh produce on every grocery trip. I always buy grapes when my daughter is visiting now too.

Lori just does not get it. She has NEVER had to watch her spending or deny herself or her kids anything!!  We are financially comfortable now but those days, thankfully, will always be something I remember. I never want to forget the challenging years because that might allow me to be less thankful for what we have and less generous to others in need. 

For some reason I think her "food privilege" makes me angrier than any other topic. The fact that she am Ken can use somebody's poverty as a reason to judge them so harshly.....AAARRRRRGGGGGHHH! I just can't.  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I think the  next thread should be:   Lori Alexander "tudoring" the Internet

[Sarah92]

Yes, I ask about single fathers because I know that they might have to put their children in the care of others in order to work. So I wonder if they would receive the same judgment. And honestly, sometimes reconciliation for divorced couples is not an option especially if the other parents has many issues that do not make them fit to take care of the children. and you really can't help the death of a spouse. 

I hate that the role of the father is often diminished. My parents are still together and I love them both. However, I would probably describe myself as a Daddy's girl. I am very close with my father.  Don't get me wrong, my mother is wonderful too, they're both very supportive of me. I know my mother would probably be there for me without judgment even if I mess up. My dad is the one who taught me about cooking and gave me fashion advice. He also can bake a mean apple pie and sews/ patches up his own clothes when they need mending. (These things would probably tick Lori off). I didn't really even understand gender roles were really a thing until later in life. Imagine how confused I was to hear that some believe only women should clean and cook?

I was always kinda upset when he couldn't make it to one of my events when I was young because of work. I can't imagine would it would be like for some of these kids where the father has to work two or three jobs. Father's and father figures are important parts of a child's life. You can't be head of the house if you're never there. (Don't really agree with the head of house things but I can accept it in healthy relationships with loving husbands. )

[SuperNova]

@usmcmom I feel you on the fruit thing. My sister and I got divorced at the same time and moved in together to save money because we were both flat broke. We had three kids between the two of us and lived in a tiny place. We live in CA and lots of people have fruit trees in their yard and many don't even bother picking the fruit. Sis and I would knock on doors asking if it was ok to pick fruit. People acted like we did them the favor and would often give is grocery bags to fill or invite us to the backyard so we could pick more trees. I remember the kids being so happy when they got home from school. The best was an old lady who had an avocado tree. We picked that thing clean.

[Leftitinmysnood]

A notebook doodle showed up in my fb feed today. I guess Lori is going viral again. Scary Mommy found her. http://www.scarymommy.com/transformed-wife-proves-we-need-feminism/?utm_source=FBIP

Who has popcorn? I've got 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Lori just deleted all those comments from Jackie. The nice woman who quoted scripture with her disagreements. What a liar she is. Lori claims she doesn't delete people who provide scripture. I am just blown away. 

[lilwriter85]

The comment from the woman whose husband left her and the 4 kids was also deleted. I'm glad I got screenshots of it because it just shows that Lori doesn't give fuck women and children in need.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

7 minutes ago, Leftitinmysnood said:

A notebook doodle showed up in my fb feed today. I guess Lori is going viral again. Scary Mommy found her. http://www.scarymommy.com/transformed-wife-proves-we-need-feminism/?utm_source=FBIP

Who has popcorn? I've got 

HAHA! Now getting featured there is what you call going viral.

[Koala]

8 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Lori just deleted all those comments from Jackie. The nice woman who quoted scripture with her disagreements. What a liar she is. Lori claims she doesn't delete people who provide scripture. I am just blown away. 

I have watched as Lori deleted multiple comments that contained ONLY scripture.  She will delete it in a heartbeat if it stands in the way of "her message".

From Scary Mommy:

Quote

Perhaps one day this Transformed Wife will wake up from the patriarchal prison she created for herself. And when she walks across that self-imposed cell and straight out of that unlocked door…

She can thank a feminist.

Because while she was busy teaching women how to lock themselves away, we were busy collecting the damn keys.

[lilwriter85]

I hope some of the Scary Mommy followers flood Lori's FB and rip her apart.

[Koala]

Well, if nothing else, she can once again say that she went VIRAL!  And when she reminds us (for the millionth time) that she went VIRAL, she can do exactly what Scary Mommy said, and thank a feminist!

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Can you comment on scary mommy articles? Off the bat I am not seeing an option.

[feministxtian]

In many ways, I'm enjoying my time at home...but I'm getting antsy. I have a second interview on Monday...I think I'll be offered the job. I'm getting tired of living in this shitty apartment...and if I go back to work, we can probably afford to move elsewhere.

HOWEVER...Lori's bullshit has no bearing on me. My husband does not expect me to be the "good little housewife", he knows I have absolutely NO talents in that area. It doesn't take away from our marriage...hell, he knew that 20 years ago when he decided he didn't like the way I vacuumed...he's been doing it ever since  I cook, take care of the bathrooms mostly because he hates doing that, occasionally do laundry. Truth is, he got used to doing most of the housework when he went out on disability...and it's sort of stayed that way.

I hate Lori. I hate her with a passion. She's an utterly useless human being. 

[samurai_sarah]

As an aside, regarding the idea that men don't like educated women: Lori is proof-positive that one can be educated, yet be really dumb.

 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

3 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Lori just does not get it. She has NEVER had to watch her spending or deny herself or her kids anything!! 

Lori may not have needed to deny her kids, but I imagine she did. For their own good or something.

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Can you comment on scary mommy articles? Off the bat I am not seeing an option.

Yes- through FB. You can on the original- Mom Babble by Mary Katherine Backstrom and then Scary Mommy has a FB page as well.

Mary Katherine (she calls herself MK) is fired up (rightly so) and I'm not sure she's going to let it go. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Some of the comments are hilarious. Will be interesting to see if any of her validators show up!

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@Frog99

Thanks!! I found it. 

Wow, she has had 2 articles written about her on the same day from bigger name writers. She is on her way to viral dreams! There will be lots of snide posts about this coming your way soon.