Lori Alexander 20A: Deleting Suicide Hotlines Since 2017

[Free Jana Duggar]

14 minutes ago, Koala said:

@Free Jana Duggar If you are comfortable sharing, let us know when Ken sees the message, and if he responds.  

This situation is getting out of hand, and Lori is becoming more dangerous by the day.

If he responds, I will let y'all know.  

[delphinium65]

32 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

The suicide hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. Maybe I overstepped, but I had to PM that reader and give it to her. 

And another thing (if you all will forgive me for posting one right after another)- I'm going to be tweeting the Suicide Hotline number on my twitter all day and tagging Aunt Lori in it.

Sorry, not sorry.

Good for you. You clearly care more about Aunt Lori's readers than she does. 

 

[louisa05]

56 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I think the screenshot should be reported to facebook. I believe what Lori does is spiritual abuse. It puts facebook at risk for liability if something happened to that poor woman, if facebook knowingly allows spiritual abuse to occur on its pages.

Facebook won't do anything about it. 

[TeddyBonkers]

Oh, I am PISSED, y'all. The military community gets hit hard every time one of our own succumbs to his or her demons, so I may be showing a bit of overinvesting. Aunt Lori has crossed a line. So I messaged Ken too.

"Ken, I know you know what is going on with "The Transformed Wife" Facebook page. A woman said she is having suicidal thoughts and your wife told her to read her Bible. Then when someone (quite rightfully) posted the suicide hotline number for this hurting woman, Lori deleted the entire exchange. This has crossed a very dangerous line and a woman's life hangs in the balance. I pray to God that the commentor saw the hotline number and called it, or called a friend, or pastor, or doctor. She needs real help, not platitudes.

What YOU need to do is step in, as the head of the household, and tell your wife that she has absolutely no business or qualifications to preach about mental illness, depression, or suicide. Let her keep complaining about immodest yoga pants, or women being too fat, or (horror of horrors) women who GO TO COLLEGE. But her 'expert' advice regarding depression is going to kill someone. I couldn't live with that on my conscience, nor do I want to face the Almighty at the gates of heaven and answer for it."

[dairyfreelife]

I 100% agree with everyone here-Lori has gone too far now. She can cry against bikinis and yoga pants, she can whine about others housekeeping skills, she can fuss about moms who work, but when it comes to anything that actually risks someone's life and medical advice, she must stop NOW. She doesn't have any medical education at all. She should simply tell people to speak with their doctors and that she's not qualified to give any medical advice-because she's not. 

Also, the sound mind stuff she's peddling-what the hell does that even mean? If you are a Christian you won't have any mental health problems? What about serious mental illnesses? What does she think about PPP, postpartum psychosis? What about schizophrenia-one of the most severe mental illnesses? Does she just pretend they don't exist? Or does she have the weird belief that they aren't real, but are demons? (I had a Christian youth leader suggest this once when I was a teenager-even then I was like c'mon now, stupidest thing ever to suggest). Perhaps people with PPP caused it themselves-should have submitted to their husbands more or something? Perhaps schizophrenics just need to trust in her god more and they'd be cured like *poof* magic-all better? "True" Christians won't ever get bipolar disorder, OCD, PPP or schizo-disorders (typal, affective, phrenia)? 

I'd really like to know her (I know they'll be stupid) thoughts on those regarding a sound mind. But I know she would just ignore or most likely delete any such comment. I would do it anyway, but I only have a FB account with my actual name and don't want to be associated with her or lead anyone I know to her page or blog and risk them even considering her advice because I'm not horrible enough to subject anyone to her. 

[Destiny]

3 hours ago, Koala said:

Is there any way to redact that  woman's name?  I know she posted on a public FB, but she's obviously in a bad place...

We're working on it. It will be done shortly. 

Aunt Lori is a god damned monster. 

[HoneyBunny]

Please title Lori's 21st FJ thread: Deleting suicide hotline numbers since 2017.  Lest we forget. 

I so wish Lori had had to visit a cemetery last Monday to honor a Christian airman who committed suicide when he had a 5 year old and newborn daughter. I wish Lori had seen my retired military husband weep at his grave. 

I sleep quite peacefully at night knowing I will never encounter Lori Alexander in the after-life. Because even in the utopia that is heaven I would have to punch her lights out. 

[Joyce]

I sent a private message to the member and referred a hotline number and a web page on suicide prevention: https://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Do Lori and Ken still attend church? Maybe we can inform their church, and write how Lori is preaching and giving legal and medical advice for which she is not qualified.

Do the other family members of Lori still read this forum? Maybe you can talk among yourselves on how to get Aunt Lori back off from teaching. A life is at stake, and many people can die as a result of Lori's advice.

Thank you.

[jerkit]

Thank you to those of you who reached out to the woman in need of help.

i lost a friend to a horrible suicide a year and a half ago and it still haunts me. She did not tell anyone she was considering suicide and I hate hate hate the idea that she could've reached out to someone and they dismissed her.

[BlackSheep]

It galls me to no end that Lori's post yesterday was entitled

DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE IS SKYROCKETING AMONG WOMEN

 

[onemama]

@BlackSheep, yes, especially because she then goes on to basically blame them for being depressed. If they only followed her rules, they wouldn't be depressed and suicidal!  Women today... 

Lori's advice won't provide any relief to a woman suffering for any reason.  It's grin and bear, put up a front, remember to be joyful, suffering is good, think about his eternal soul and submit even more (joyfully, of course), and more recently, call your daughter a pig and clean your house. 

The woman whose daughter is pregnant and whose husband is having an affair might very well see suicide as the only way out. 

 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, Joyce said:

I sent a private message to the member and referred a hotline number and a web page on suicide prevention: https://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Do Lori and Ken still attend church? Maybe we can inform their church, and write how Lori is preaching and giving legal and medical advice for which she is not qualified.

Do the other family members of Lori still read this forum? Maybe you can talk among yourselves on how to get Aunt Lori back off from teaching. A life is at stake, and many people can die as a result of Lori's advice.

Thank you.

You are a good person.

It's inevitable that Lori's advice would lead to this ugly place. Her whole message is that women must be godly in the way she define godly. If they aren't, they are seeking "excuses" or an "exceptions" from their duties.

Other women have written about sad or dangerous situations in their lives that clearly fall outside Lori's rules. A woman with a disobedient child who does not respond to physical discipline ("spank harder"). A woman with a history of sexual abuse who has intimacy problems (Ken normalizes sexual abuse to demonstrate it shouldn't matter). Another woman writes in about her husband's threatening verbal abuse or addiction problem (win him without a word--in other words, shut up and submit). 

All of these things could have led to danger or tragedy if Lori's advice was followed. It's just luck she has gotten this far without anyone being harmed. A reader contemplating suicide is just another near-tragedy on the same spectrum.

[polecat]

It's hard to imagine anyone Lori's age has ever gone through life without having ever been touched by suicide. Suicide is not uncommon. I know more than one person who has died of suicide, and that's in the last five or so years. But perhaps Lori thinks it is rare because no one mentions the cause of death to the hateful, unfeeling, judgmental, callous woman when they know she'll condemn them. 

My mom, who suffered from untreated bipolar 1, attempted suicide fairly regularly throughout my life. She never succeeded. God never helped my mom, no matter how many times she prayed, read her Bible, begged and pleaded with Him. 

[December]

5 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Someone responded rationally giving the number to a suicide hotline and it looks like Lori deleted it.  

Beyond horrifying if that's what happened. I hope the woman that posted will find someone trustworthy in her life to reach out to and get help. 

[polecat]

2 minutes ago, December said:

Beyond horrifying if that's what happened. I hope the woman that posted will find someone trustworthy in her life to reach out to and get help. 

The sad thing is that suicidal people tend to not reach out. Some do, but many do not. They tend not to want to be a bother or to burden others. We really have to reach out to them. The fact that she even posted on Lori's thread should have been seen as a HUGE cry for help, but as usual, Lori was too stupid and obtuse to even see it.

[EowynW]

Lost my temper and messaged Ken. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

7 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Lost my temper and messaged Ken. 

I messaged him on fb.  I encourage everyone here to do the same.

[usmcmom]

I hope the rest of you will message Ken but, after giving it a lot of thought, I have decided that I will not be doing so. 

Spoiler

I have been commenting on The Transformed Wife Facebook page for weeks and I hate to blow my cover.  I am also an occasional commenter on the blog.  

 

[NotQuiteMotY]

Oh please let SOMEONE come down on her hard. Depression is no joke.

[Free Jana Duggar]

10 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

Oh please let SOMEONE come down on her hard. Depression is no joke.

I am trying and am going to make it my mission to shut her down.  She needs to shut up about depression unless she has lost a family member to suicide and been the one to find him when he hung himself.   

He listened to his idiot friends who told him he didn't need his medicine.

 

[SilverBeach]

@ViolaSebastian, cruel is Lori's middle name. Actually, she has two middle names, cruel and dangerous. I wish women would not come to her with their serious issues, don't they see how heartless that bitch is? To delete a post with helpful information for a depressed person...Lori needs her ass kicked. She is evil, evil, evil, an evil simpleton. All the Duggars combined don't make me as ragey as she does. 

[littlemommy]

I hate Lori. And Ken. But I do think it's a little cringeworthy that we are appealing to the man of the relationship to "control" his wife (in a way) and make her stop spewing her hate. I mean, I want her to. Badly. But trying to appeal to Ken to "put his foot down", so to speak? It's squicking me out.

[TeddyBonkers]

18 minutes ago, littlemommy said:

I hate Lori. And Ken. But I do think it's a little cringeworthy that we are appealing to the man of the relationship to "control" his wife (in a way) and make her stop spewing her hate. I mean, I want her to. Badly. But trying to appeal to Ken to "put his foot down", so to speak? It's squicking me out.

I hear you, and recognize how problematic it is. On the one hand, Lori is responsible for the hate that she puts out there. On the other, though, her Bible tells her to submit to Ken. She has chosen that life and advocated it for EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. I also want to mention that back in the "Always Learning" days, when @Ken gave us a visit (and a *stern* finger wagging), FJites successfully petioned him to have Lori put up an 'in case of abuse' button on her blog.

Believe me, if  this was the usual hand-wringing over yoga pants or women in the workforce, I wouldn't have attempted to contact Ken. I also wouldn't be putting up the Suicide Hotline Number all over her Twitter. (Sidenote, I don't think she monitors Twitter.) But this is a life and death situation.

[Jellybean]

It doesn't have to be Ken. Anyone with any kind of influence over Lori would do, regardless of gender or age. 

Having said that, a large part of Lori's spiel is that she submits to Ken so there is a sliver of hope that she might actually listen to him if he did say something to her. The only others I can think of would be Lori's parents, her aunts and her children/children-in-law, and I'm somewhat reluctant to drag them further into this mess. To some extent, Ken signed up for this; the others didn't, but if you think that the potential benefits of (maybe) stopping Lori from causing harm to her readers outweighs the downside of involving other relatives, you could try contacting them with your concerns

[Destiny]

If you contact Lori's family, do not mention FJ or do so on behalf of FJ.

 

I suggest that no one does that cos it won't do anything and will just feed into her persecution complex. Only Aunt Lori is responsible for her being terrible, not family members.