Lori Alexander 20A: Deleting Suicide Hotlines Since 2017

[choralcrusader8613]

16 minutes ago, Destiny said:

I suggest that no one does that cos it won't do anything and will just feed into her persecution complex. Only Aunt Lori is responsible for her being terrible, not family members.

This. Also, no offense, but it's likely that Ken has exactly the same views on depression as Lori. It's not like Ken is a winner at marriage or gender relations.

[dawbs]

IMO, part of the problem w/ calling out blatant hatefulness on mental illness is that it just forces that hatefulness into more palatable, but no less awful shapes.

I mean, when Mr. Dawbs was at his suicidal worst, the truly hateful things someone like Lori would say wouldn't have pierced through anything to trigger his behavior.  It was the subtle 'prozac nation' 'maybe if you try' stuff that nearly pushed him to the brink.

Got my own biases here, but I think she thrives on muddying the waters and would relish a chance to make this into a martyr position for herself.

[Joyce]

She messaged, "Thank you".

[jerkit]

2 minutes ago, Joyce said:

She messaged, "Thank you".

Wait you messaged lori?

[EmiGirl]

6 minutes ago, jerkit said:

Wait you messaged lori?

I think she meant the lady talking about suicide. She sent her the hotline number.

[jerkit]

Just now, EmiGirl said:

I think she meant the lady talking about suicide. She sent her the hotline number.

Oh okay. I understand now.

[EowynW]

Honestly I don't feel bad about messaging Ken to put his foot down to her because in their world that's how the system runs and it doesn't bother them. I grew up in that system and I know how to work it. I figured it's atleast worth a shot. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, jerkit said:

But Ken still has some semblance of reason. It's small, but it's there.

 

I think so too. I believe he has enough sense to know someone offering a number for help should not have been deleted.

[Escadora]

Wow, really, just wow. 

Lori's always had undercurrents of evil, and some of the things she's mentioned over the years have made me sick to my stomach, but this is just another thing entirely. 

It's nor right to abuse children, of course it's not, so please don't take this to mean that I think that that's all of a sudden okay, but the truth of the matter is that people can recover from eating disorders, from awful childhoods, from abuses of all kinds and go on to live happy productive lives (of course, many don't and it's tragic. I count myself as being profoundly lucky to have been able to seek recovery and make progress). 

You cant recover from a 'successful' suicide.

And it's one thing to point someone to the bible so that they can try to seek solace there, quite another to delete the post of a woman seeking help for something that serious just because someone managed to upstage her in the good person contest that wasn't even a contest to begin with.  

Once that life is gone, it's gone. Everyone who messaged that poster with helplines and such is wonderful and that's such a kind, decent thing of you all to do. 

She makes me so mad. What kind of right does she have to tell these women to put up with things she never would and to take all kinds of shit from their husbands and forgive people who molest their children? That's playing with their lives and well-being in just an insidious a way. But seeing her be so callous and cruel and uncaring, I don't even know what to say beyond this barely comprehensible puddle of outrage. 

Sorry for long post. I'll go rage and sulk in private now. Gah!

ETA - I don't mean to diminish the things she's done to her children, and even her husband (even if he's also a total sod who deserves none of the nice things), because that is cruel in its own way and totally inexcusable. Just wanted to make it super clear that all of that is still super not okay at all.

[Curious]

For future reference, we have various hotline numbers posted here: 

 

[Joyce]

@Escadora, I've been depressed many times, so I can relate to feelings of wanting to die or be killed in an accident. Yes, we cannot recover the life of a person who died, especially from suicide.

I already told Lori before that a person with mental illness needs medical or professional help, just like Lori with her pituitary tumor would need medical help. Today I messaged Lori to include a suicide hotline or suicide prevention page in her blogs and chatroom.

@EowynW I saw them on the Facebook chatroom since I have a friend who is a member. The first comment is under Lori's baking post with the artwork. The second comment is under a post of a woman talking about her friend. Just search weed.

[Jelly Babies]

I'm pretty sure that if that woman had committed suicide and it was found out that Lori deleted the comment with the hotline number, she could be charged with having a hand in her death. Almost as if she had killed her herself.  Good thing some of yall got the screenies. 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, ashley said:

I'm pretty sure that if that woman had committed suicide and it was found out that Lori deleted the comment with the hotline number, she could be charged with having a hand in her death. Almost as if she had killed her herself.  Good thing some of yall got the screenies. 

I don't know if a criminal charge would hold, but her family could bring a civil suit against Lori and Ken, seeking monetary damages for her death. 

[purjolok84]

10 hours ago, littlemommy said:

I hate Lori. And Ken. But I do think it's a little cringeworthy that we are appealing to the man of the relationship to "control" his wife (in a way) and make her stop spewing her hate. I mean, I want her to. Badly. But trying to appeal to Ken to "put his foot down", so to speak? It's squicking me out.

Only because ironically we all know Lori would only get a couple of words in before she'd press delete.

She has no empathy for anyone - only a callous, unfeeling person would scrub a discussion of any proof that a suicidal woman reached out for help and was blocked. I doubt she will understand what she's done but there needs to be consequences.

[Fascinated]

She also basically told the woman that she is in sin and would be condemned. That surely cannot have helped the situation.  I'm hoping that this will be the post that shuts her down. Then the world will be a slightly better place. 

[EowynW]

I reported it to spiritual sounding board and those ladies there are spitting mad and are going to start a ruckus. 

[lilwriter85]

49 minutes ago, sawasdee said:

 

Her blog has been dangerously ill informed for a long time - but here she crossed a line.

I've had the feeling for the past few years that she was eventually going to cross a line in the Internet/blogging world. Sadly, I suspect she has crossed a line IRL for than once. If this incident does fuck up her online following, she will probably do another fucked up thing that might end up pissing off her fangrils. In the past, she has done some stupid things and was called out by readers. The one incident that I recall was when she blogged about Trayvon Martin's death and claimed that was due to his parents being divorced. She defended George Zimmerman's actions and basically said it that it was ok for George to follow Trayvon around. I remember a couple of people who described themselves as black mothers took Lori to task and she deleted their comments from the blog. One of those women said that she wasn't going to be reading Lori's blog after that. IIRC, Lori also deleted the blog posting  later on.

[Hisey]

3 hours ago, sawasdee said:

 

Is there any way she can be sanctioned for her dangerous and callous behaviour?  I have no idea of the rules of those who carry her blog, or of Facebook - does anyone else?

Is there someone to whom she can be reported?

Her blog has been dangerously ill informed for a long time - but here she crossed a line.

Yes, this was my initial thought. Can she be reported to facebook (including screencaps) or wordpress (I think that's her blog host)?

I think contacting Ken is a waste of time, he doesn't care unless it affects his business. He seems VERY protective of his business. If it went down, his son and his son's family would have no income, along with him and Lori. Remember when he came here, that's all he talked about? He didnt' seem to care at all about his online reputation or Lori's, it was all about his business.

[lilwriter85]

13 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Yes, this was my initial thought. Can she be reported to facebook (including screencaps) or wordpress (I think that's her blog host)?

I think contacting Ken is a waste of time, he doesn't care unless it affects his business. He seems VERY protective of his business. If it went down, his son and his son's family would have no income, along with him and Lori. Remember when he came here, that's all he talked about? He didnt' seem to care at all about his online reputation or Lori's, it was all about his business.

Facebook could shut down her pages if they see that she is causing a safety and well being issue. I recall that years ago Facebook shut down pro-ana/eating disorder pages and groups because it was viewed as promoting harmful beliefs and activities.

I also think it is pointless to contact Ken. I actually think that he has lost potential clients or clients have ditched them because of Lori's blog. I remember he tried to blame FJ for trying to ruin his business because of our discussions on Lori's blog. He encouraged Lori to blog and she chose to post pictures of Ken and her children and info about where they live. Also, when Lori did that Internet radio interview she said that people could just google her name and that her blog would pop right away. But, also FJ pops on the first page of search results for "Lori Alexander". I wonder if he got pissed at Lori for that. I've said this before but I do believe that the Alexanders will meet the Bible verse, "Pride goeth before the fall" someday. Maybe Lori and Ken's online activities will fuck up the business for good  and then their son Ryan might actually realize how fucked up his parents are.

[Curious]

Due to the important nature of this topic surrounding Lori Alexander and Ken Alexander, I'm splitting it into a separate topic.  While thread drift is an integral part of FJ, can we please try to keep this thread a bit more on topic.  There is another open Lori thread for topics not relating to Lori Alexander deleting the suicide hotline number after a woman posted that that very day, she was considering killing herself.  Lori Alexander eventually deleted all the posts, including the one that a woman in trouble reached out to for help from Lori "Godly Mentor" Alexander.

[Hane]

On 6/2/2017 at 4:29 PM, polecat said:

The sad thing is that suicidal people tend to not reach out. Some do, but many do not. They tend not to want to be a bother or to burden others.

This is so true. My friends' son struggled with severe depression throughout his adolescence, and, despite the best psychiatric help his parents (devout Methodists) could give him, he ended his life by going out into the woods and hanging himself. He did this because he didn't want his parents to be the ones who found his body.

[polecat]

35 minutes ago, Hane said:

This is so true. My friends' son struggled with severe depression throughout his adolescence, and, despite the best psychiatric help his parents (devout Methodists) could give him, he ended his life by going out into the woods and hanging himself. He did this because he didn't want his parents to be the ones who found his body.

I'm so very sorry. 

 

[Gobsmacked]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

This is so true. My friends' son struggled with severe depression throughout his adolescence, and, despite the best psychiatric help his parents (devout Methodists) could give him, he ended his life by going out into the woods and hanging himself. He did this because he didn't want his parents to be the ones who found his body.

My old work colleagues father did the same thing. He did not want his wife and children finding him. He wasn't religious. Just stressed, he had a physical illness, Docs didn't believe him, he was proved correct at postmortem.

He just couldn't cope with the pain his illness caused him, Docs refused help telling him it was all his imagination. 

[FeministShrew]

I hate everything about this. Years ago, I was doing everything I was supposed to do to have a happy, fullfilled life, according to our church (Freewill Baptist, then split and became nondenominational during that time). I was a stay-at-home mom, kept the house spotless, had homecooked meals waiting on my husband every night, packed his lunch every morning, was at church every time the doors were open, prayed constantly, read the bible, listened only to Christian music, and was the church's workhorse  volunteered at church because my husband wanted me too. (All he cared about was having the appearance of a happy, "godly" family.) And it was slowly killing me. I was miserable, and felt guilty for being miserable. I came close to killing myself. I intended to drive into a bridge abutment at a high speed, but I chickened out at the last second. (I was alone in the car at the time.) I was also having severe panic attacks and thought I was dying.
When I got the courage to open up to my so-called friends during a women's retreat, they blasted me. I was told I wasn't praying hard enough, or reading the bible enough, I didn't respect my husband enough. I was told to go visit a hospital or a nursing home & seeing how bad other people's lives were would make me thankful. I was told that suicide is the worst sin & I would burn in hell. Instead of empathy or concern or even pity, I got contempt. Not one of those women, even the pastor's wife, ever followed up with me or asked if I was doing better. Not one of them told me I was suffering from depression & to go to a doctor. No one mentioned a suicide hotline, or told me to call the if I needed to talk.
When I tried to talk to my husband, he told me that personal happiness is irrelevant, that being in god's will is all that matters. He was completely emotionally unavailable to me, and only concerned with what people at church would think.
Praying and reading the bible didn't help me. What helped me was leaving that fucking church, putting my kids in public school (they had been in an expensive Christian school), going back to school myself, getting a challenging job, and leaving my asshole husband. I should have gone to a doctor and got meds, but I was lucky enough to be able to pull myself through. I did  have some counselling later, that gave me coping skills. But even that secular counselor was  of the "just be thankful" mindset. 
Today I'm not religious at all, have no guilt, still live a moral life, am not an asshole to people, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

Lori is a monster and an ignorant bitch and Ken is just as bad. I really hope that poster gets the help she needs, because if she doesn't her blood is on Lori's hands.

Sorry for this long rant. This whole thing really got to me this morning.
 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, FeministShrew said:

Today I'm not religious at all, have no guilt, still live a moral life, am not an asshole to people, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

What a  horrible church! So glad you left. If it helps any, they probably suggested more Bible-reading and church-going because they lacked the imagination or intelligence to suggest anything else. 

10 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

Facebook could shut down her pages if they see that she is causing a safety and well being issue. I recall that years ago Facebook shut down pro-ana/eating disorder pages and groups because it was viewed as promoting harmful beliefs and activities.

 

What if we were to all contact facebook about this issue, with all of us including the same screencaps? 

I am not usually much of a rabble-rouser but I know the courage it must have taken that woman to post about her suicidal thoughts, and I can imagine the pain when she saw it deleted. I try to keep a very low internet profile but I am willing to do this if anyone else is. Also, have the screencaps of the exchange been posted?