Joe and Kendra: Holding Hands and Saying I Love You

[HereticHick]

16 hours ago, aurora_boo said:

Remind me not to go to your wedding. People spend enough to go to these things, I'm not ponying up cash for people who think they deserve it.You should be looking after (feeding/watering/entertaining) your guests.

Sorry Americans - you're weird. It seems you feel obliged to pay for other people's nuptials.  (strange, since you baulk at contributing to other people's health!!!)

(yes , yes - I know - not everyone! ;-) )

I don't know where you are from but I am guessing that you are aware that there are MANY cultures worldwide that incorporate cash presents into weddings, right?

Have you ever heard the phrase "money dance" or "dollar dance" or "apron dance"? Or every seen a pretty Asian money envelope? Do you have any friends or relatives who are of Hungarian descent? Or Polish? Or Nigerian? Or Filipino? Or Mexican? Or Chinese? Or Ukrainian? Or Greek?

tl,dr-- cash at weddings is not an exclusive "American" thing. You should perhaps get out more.

[Nikedagain?]

4 hours ago, Feministe9000 said:

Again, I know you all will shame me, but I've been watching the show and I can't hold back any longer!
Put her next to Joe's sister's and.......well, it's just a shame, considering how much women are judged on their appearances and how attractive they are in their world.

So let's just do that here, right?

Dang. 

[closetcagebaby]

38 minutes ago, Elvis Presby said:

My face is "full" also.  A few weeks ago someone almost fell out in the floor when they realized my oldest child is about to be 27.  They thought I was about 30 myself.  I'll take that!

 

I have the same thing! I know it's annoying now (since I'm 22 and look much younger), but I'm sure it'll be thankful for it in the future.

I think Kendra is very pretty and if I thought otherwise, I'd keep it to myself. No reason to snark on a woman's (unchangeable) looks. JRod's green eyeliner? Sure. Kendra's face shape? Dude, she's a young woman being raised in a cult, let's not add to that.

[karen77]

13 hours ago, Jaeniduggar said:

We have an updated wedding registry! It seems legit!

https://www.amazon.com/wedding/joe-duggar-kendra-caldwell-rogers-september-2017/registry/1JDAAQ3EY81KB

Well crap it IS on my son's birthday, boo!

53 minutes ago, Elvis Presby said:

My face is "full" also.  A few weeks ago someone almost fell out in the floor when they realized my oldest child is about to be 27.  They thought I was about 30 myself.  I'll take that!

I have this issue too.... baby face (my kids aren't quite as old as yours though!)

[2manyKidzzz]

Nice stuff in the registry. She is a good cook and everything looks nice and practical. Wonder where they will live. Maybe Jessa gets new house like she was looking for and Joe and Kendra get the little Grandma Mary house. 

Or maybe not. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

Round faces are a curse in your teens/early 20s......and then a blessing when you wake up 30 and those fuller cheeks have people thinking you're 20! 

[OyToTheVey]

17 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Have you ever heard the phrase "money dance" or "dollar dance" or "apron dance"? Or every seen a pretty Asian money envelope? Do you have any friends or relatives who are of Hungarian descent? Or Polish? Or Nigerian? Or Filipino? Or Mexican? Or Chinese? Or Ukrainian? Or Greek?

tl,dr-- cash at weddings is not an exclusive "American" thing. You should perhaps get out more.

I'm Russian/Ukrainian. No one would ever show up to a wedding with a box present. Cash is the norm. The registry is usually for showers, if the couple decides to have a shower.

[Mela99]

I wonder if fundie girls get makeup lessons or if that's just something that comes with being on TV. Some of these girls, I WISH I could do what they do**. 

**Statement void if your name is Rodrigues. 

[Flossie]

I have a round face and "chipmunk cheeks".  I always looked much younger than my age.  When I first went to college, I had some students assume I was a local high school student that was hanging around the college and was told several times to go back to (high) school and stop bothering the college students.

When I was far along with my first child, I had a few people assume I was a teenaged mother-to-be.  My husband, who looked older than his years, got some dirty looks when it became obvious that the 'pregnant teen' was with a man who appeared to be in his 30's.  I thought it was funny, he didn't.  I was 21 when I delivered, he was 26.

Years later, I got carded when I was trying to buy beer.  I was 42.  The cashier mistook my stunned expression and told me that I could have my 'friend' buy the beer instead.  She was new, and apparently hadn't absorbed the training on what to do with minors who try to buy alcohol.  Anyway, my 'friend' was my now-seething 21 year old daughter.  She did not appreciate someone thinking that her mother was younger than she was.  I dug out my ID and offered it to the cashier.  She still didn't believe it and called her manager to verify.  "Can you come check an ID?  I just carded a 42 year old."

[Audrey2]

8 hours ago, Flossie said:

Years later, I got carded when I was trying to buy beer.  I was 42. 

Several years ago when I lived in Arizona there was a television commercial about carding people for alcohol. The tagline was, "And you just might make some 30 year old's day." Even though I no longer live there and I am well above 30, whenever I get carded, I just look at the salesperson and say,  "You just made a 45 year old's day!"

[melon]

I got carded the last time when I 38.When I showed the cashier my ID,she said Oh my goodness.LOL. I had to go to the middle school for my son,for a teacher's conference.I was 40.A teacher asked me for my pass!I was flattered and astonished.Another teacher,who knew me,said Well Mrs,Melon,she made your day! And she did.But then when I was 54,my son and I stopped to get something to eat at BBQ buffet.The owner asked if I wanted the senior discount(it was 62).I said,No,not yet.I was rather offended and insulted.

[karen77]

I got carded while at Disney in Downtown Disney at a walk up bar, bartender asked for my ID and after looking at it, said, "good for you!!" (I was 37? at the time). Got carded the other day at the grocery store, sans kids, 39. Happens a lot, and honestly at this point, since it is a lot, its annoying.

[backyard sylph]

When I was still in New Jersey, the Wegman's near me started carding people for alcohol if they looked "under 45." One said to me once, "You should be flattered!" and I, being sometimes forgetful of what I'll call "social reality," said, "I would rather just be treated as an adult." I promise do feel bad about these things later when I realize I slipped up, and I get better little by little. I do want to be mindful of others in this way.

On the other hand, I was super psyched to learn a couple years ago that I could have the senior citizen's discount at a couple of the thrift stores, because some of them begin at 50. But though I'm certain I look my age, I was asked to prove it then. Which was pleasing to do, for some reason. 

[karen77]

6 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

 On the other hand, I was super psyched to learn a couple years ago that I could have the senior citizen's discount at a couple of the thrift stores, because some of them begin at 50. But though I'm certain I look my age, I was asked to prove it then. Which was pleasing to do, for some reason. 

I think it's a respect level... When you look really young ALL the time, and people assume you are, they don't seem to give you the same respect level of someone of your (general you) age... and that is what can be irritating sometimes. I get this at work, I look like a young just out of college engineer, not the case. People are always surprised when i say I've worked here for 12 years. But sometimes you have to convince them more than you know your crap and have experience when you look significantly younger than your actual age.

[Four is Enough]

I remember going to Goodwill one summer day, and the cashier offered me the Senior discount. "Not for another week till my birthday!" I said, She gave it to me anyway, and I took it!

[lumpentheologie]

I moved to New York when I was 28, and there were signs at a lot of liquor stores saying they card anyone who looks under 30.  You better believe I was unhappy when I didn't get carded. 

[backyard sylph]

2 minutes ago, karen77 said:

I think it's a respect level... When you look really young ALL the time, and people assume you are, they don't seem to give you the same respect level of someone of your (general you) age... and that is what can be irritating sometimes. I get this at work, I look like a young just out of college engineer, not the case. People are always surprised when i say I've worked here for 12 years. But sometimes you have to convince them more than you know your crap and have experience when you look significantly younger than your actual age.

You make strong points. I think in Wegmans' case, they thought they were shooting for some kind of jolly parity among us all. But when you get to a certain age, you do feel like you've earned the right to be treated like you've been places and learned things. And I guess I felt like I earned that discount!

Being taken less seriously in your job because of a youthful appearance must just blow.

[louisa05]

Advice for servers on carding: If you have a table of five women in for drinks, never card only four of them and when you do not card the fifth, don't inform her it is because you don't have to card people over 40. 

This happened when I was out with a group from work many years ago. It was made worse by the fact that, though the one not carded was the oldest in the group, she was still four years from 40. 

I still get carded all the time. Three or four years ago, when I was 41 or 42, a grocery store cashier made me recite my full name, address and birthday to help prove it wasn't a fake ID. That was pretty annoying. 

 

[MayMay1123]

i've had people assume my husband was my father, which i find highly insulting. i'm not even sure why exactly i get so pissed about it, but when i tell them he's my husband and that i'm older than he is, i do enjoy the bit of squirming that they do. its also assumed that my daughter is my sister and my granddaughters are both mine. though that one is much more common with the 15 year old then the 7 year old LOL

[SweetLaurel]

Cashiers can get arrested if they sell to someone underage.  They are just  being safe and doing their jobs and staying out of jail.   'Being annoyed' is fine, but don't make them feel bad for doing their jobs properly.   

 

[backyard sylph]

1 minute ago, SweetLaurel said:

Cashiers can -literally - get arrested if they sell to someone underage.  They are just  being safe and doing their jobs and staying out of jail.   'Being annoyed' is fine, but don't make them feel bad for doing their jobs properly.   

 

I don't think anyone intends to do that, being grownups with decision-making skills. But when you go into a place every week and have to prove you are as 45 as you look, it can get a bit...old. It's security theater, and the cashiers know it as well as the customers; best to just be brief and succinct.

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, SweetLaurel said:

Cashiers can -literally - get arrested if they sell to someone underage.  They are just  being safe and doing their jobs and staying out of jail.   'Being annoyed' is fine, but don't make them feel bad for doing their jobs properly.   

 

I've only been annoyed the time I had to stand there reciting every detail on my license to prove it wasn't fake. People over 40 tend to get annoyed when treated like a teenage criminal for trying to buy alcohol (and a quick ID check is not that--the suspicious demand of "can you tell me your full name as it reads on this license?" on the other hand...).  I also shop there every week and the cashier had checked out my big cartload of groceries more than once before, and I kind of doubt that the average 19 year old with a fake ID is in every week to buy a cart load of groceries that clearly contains ingredients for meals. Plus I was in the store that day to pick up a few random things as well as a bottle of wine. I remember specifically what I had because it seemed highly unlikely to me that a minor trying to illegally buy alcohol would also be picking up waxed paper, dish soap, an onion and a loaf of bread. 

[KelseyAnn]

8 minutes ago, backyard sylph said:

I don't think anyone intends to do that, being grownups with decision-making skills. But when you go into a place every week and have to prove you are as 45 as you look, it can get a bit...old. It's security theater, and the cashiers know it as well as the customers; best to just be brief and succinct.

Sometimes bosses are literally watching to catch you. And as a I used to bartended, I carded people everytime because I sure as hell wasn't going to be bothered to remember the faces of everyone who came in. And I sure as hell wasn't going to get fined for letting someone underage buy alcohol because they threw a hissy fit. 

Not that I'm implying you were throwing a hissy fit. Sorry, that came off as very abrasive. <3

[backyard sylph]

Just now, KelseyAnn said:

Sometimes bosses are literally watching to catch you. And as a I used to bartended, I carded people everytime because I sure as hell wasn't going to be bothered to remember the faces of everyone who came in. And I sure as hell wasn't going to get fined for letting someone underage buy alcohol because they threw a hissy fit. 

Yes, I am aware of all of these things. But that grocery store chain changed its policy in a way that basically annoyed its main customer base; middle-aged and family grocery shoppers. They weren't a Popov stopoff. There's always context to be applied, and we all have different ones. In the case I now somewhat regret having cited, it wasn't a big thing, anyway; it was something very mild to note as a counterpoint to people who enjoy/don't mind being carded.

[KelseyAnn]

1 minute ago, backyard sylph said:

Yes, I am aware of all of these things. But that grocery store chain changed its policy in a way that basically annoyed its main customer base; middle-aged and family grocery shoppers. They weren't a Popov stopoff. There's always context to be applied, and we all have different ones. In the case I now somewhat regret having cited, it wasn't a big thing, anyway; it was something very mild to note as a counterpoint to people who enjoy/don't mind being carded.

I know but corporations and especially small stores have to cover thier buts or risk losing thier liquor liscenses of get shutting done. I'm sorry I came off so aggressive though. I have an issue with my tone. 

I don't know if it is different in other states, but Minnesota really hammers you for even one infraction.