Post-Rapture Introductions

[doggie]

talk about dodging a bullet.

[margiebargie]

I look back at those few months were I started to get sucked in and wonder how did that happen.

I think you did a pretty good job of describing how it could happen actually. They put forth a great marketing effort. It's all about appearances. And we all have those low points where we start to question ourselves, and maybe lose our confidence.

Most people I know would say I'm strong-willed/strong-minded, but I've been through some tough times where I just wanted things to be easier. These extreme fundie types sell a formula for people who just want some relief from the chaos and confusion. It can be pretty tempting, but its dishonest. There's no magic cure for anything. Now I think half the battle is learning to live with uncertainty.

Anyhow, welcome aboard. I'm glad FJ helped you navigate away from all that. Who knew our snark could actually be helpful?

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Welcome! Stories like this remind me of how important FJ is. You and your daughter are both so lucky that you didn't get sucked in...the idea of a brilliant kid like yours being trained into unquestioning, submissive SAHD-hood is horrifying.

[clibbyjo]

I can't PM you yet(you don't have enough posts),but where in PA were you? I co-run the only secular group in Western PA., so if you went to a secular event like a roller skating party then you must have met me. :dance:

[Angri-la]

I am glad you felt comfortable posting. Welcome! It does my heart some good to know FJ helped you see through the smiley, happy blogs. Wear pants! And encourage your daughter; you could have been describing me, except my parents thought it was the Devil, and all I got was prayer and lots of time with the nuns! Your daughter is lucky, and you are a smart woman.

[GenerationCedarchip]

I think you did a pretty good job of describing how it could happen actually. They put forth a great marketing effort. It's all about appearances. And we all have those low points where we start to question ourselves, and maybe lose our confidence.

Most people I know would say I'm strong-willed/strong-minded, but I've been through some tough times where I just wanted things to be easier. These extreme fundie types sell a formula for people who just want some relief from the chaos and confusion. It can be pretty tempting, but its dishonest. There's no magic cure for anything. Now I think half the battle is learning to live with uncertainty.

Anyhow, welcome aboard. I'm glad FJ helped you navigate away from all that. Who knew our snark could actually be helpful?

Welcome! Actually, your post is such a great description of how a lot of folks I knew got sucked into the fundie world. I grew up in a fundie church and still have family that ranges from fundie-lite to pure fundie. And I've known plenty of people who got there because they liked the happy home lives that so many in those churches seemed to have and they wanted that life and that sense of purpose.

[smores]

As a new mom, I can throw in some input here on how you got sucked in so easily. We want the best for our children and sometimes parenthood seems to be all about making the least bad choice and having no idea what the hell is going on. Then, you contrast your life with someone who is given all the rules and expectations, and as high as those expectations are, at least it's some sort of guideline to follow, some sort of normalcy and perfection to achieve for your child. You start thinking they DESERVE that perfection.

And then sites like this come along and thankfully tear apart the notion that there is even a little bit of perfection, much less happiness, in these families. Thank you, FJ :)

[hoipolloi]

Welcome! I agree with others on how easy it is to get sucked in, and thank goodness you began to see that's what was happening. You should know though that even us secular feminists want guarantees that our marriages, kids & homes will be perfect, forever & ever, amen. Many of those we snark on here are excellent at marketing and present a pretty package. Were I younger, with small children, and less sure of myself, I could see getting into what these people are selling.

[virginmojito]

Wow... you're great. And I bet your daughter is beautiful, I envy you.

[Islandmom]

Thank you all for the welcome. I am so glad I woke up! LOL. My daughter is working on some school work right now, so I have just a minute to type before I need to be back there.

Clibby- We lived in central PA at that time.

Virginmojito- Thanks! I'm not bias or anything LOL...but I think she is. She looks just like her daddy except she got my reddish brown hair :)

I am so glad this site is here. It definitely serves as an eye opener, and the funny thing is, it is all things I used to snark at when I was in college and grad school. But then being a mom for the first time, moving several times for DH career in the first 4 years of her life, not living near friends, well it made the shinny exterior presented look so inviting.

Anyway, got to run.

[The Archivist]

I was somewhat taken in by the outside appearance of everything. You know, the sweet voice, calm mother, happy smiling children. As someone who has always suffered from depression and anxiety, that seemed so appealing.

I hear this! I felt exactly the same way when I started reading these blogs, despite being a lefty feminist. I even went so far as to read The Surrendered Wife and seriously consider it! Glad I somehow got my brain back, however.

[FearLyss]

and I absolutely LOVE you guys!!

I am an evil, cynical atheist case manager. Somehow, I have managed to NOT to kill anyone, lie, or steal, despite the fact that I have no book telling me how wrong it is. Yay freaking me!

I did not grow up fundie at all, but have a family full of conservative christians who absolutely despise my lifestyle. I have many gay friends (gasp) and even live with one! I have sex, and horribly, I do it for fun. I love orgasms and even though I have them with a monogomous partner this is a huge sin. I use birth control and can't imagine ever having children. The don't understand marriage. If it is religious, and I am not, then why should I go through with it? Some of my best friends can't get married to their partners (who have far more meaningful relationships than I can imagine getting myself into) so why should I? I declined a proposal (I am 24, and was only 21 at the time!) and they thought I was crazy! They are angry at my parents for allowing me to go to a performing arts high school, instead of the christian high school everyone else goes to (where health class consists of abstinence only education and the horrors of using tampons). My parents thoguht I had a talent for dance that should be nurtured further. Turns out, I learned there that dance was a passion of mine but could not be my life if I intended to make any money!

The worse thing about me, I WENT TO COLLEGE! Apparently, it destroyed me. I was 17 my freshmen year, and they think my parents were insane for allowing me to go, because I was rebellious before that and apparnetly they should have been forced to stay home and do nothing (they thought me working as a teenager was bad as well). Not only did they allow me to go to college, they allowed me to move to Philadelphia, 70 miles away. I was the first one to graduate from college on my mothers side of the family. When a study I ran was published, they decided they had offiicially lost me (outside of my parents and sister, who were full of pride).

My dad is brilliant. He ran from his family (pretty christian), but knew better than listen to my mother's family. He wanted his girls to do more than then what was expected. He could never get the money for college saved (a goal he strived for) but he and my mother gave me MUCH more. The confidence to know I could be whoever I wanted (and I got what I needed through working my ass off and loans). My mother is also very intelligent. When she was younger, she dreamed of college, but that was discouraged and when she was propsed to, she had to move out even if she was only 17!

My little sister, unfortunately, gave into the family pressure. She was so obsessed with finding a guy that got her pregnant just months before she turned 18. The guy left and now she has a new one she has also fallen for. I seem to be the only one to expect more from her. My grandmother sent me a letter. She told me how upset she was my sister had a kid outside of marriage but she feels my sister is more mature and more righteous than me. This woman also accused me of having an abortion, because there is no way I could be having sex wihtouth the lord surprising me. Fuck that, IF and when I have a kid, I will actually be able to afford said child! Out of my grandmother's three grandchildren, I am the oldest and the only one childless. According to them I am the failure, but I see myself as the only one to break the stupid cycle.

We were playing some game at my aunt's house when I was younger (pre-teen). I announced (as part of the game) that my favorite thing about living in America was that, as a female I can become whoever. Somehow, the answer was not good enough. We got into an argument. They used the bible to try and brainwash me. When I asked, why out of all of the religious texts, I should follow the bible he could not respond. My uncle decided he could hit me because my answer had nothing to with his religious beliefs. I had a library pass and was there frequently, I read the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran, the Vedas, as well as many texts on other religious beliefs. When he hi tme, because he could not come up with an answer well, that was the moment that I learned to distiguish between the insane christians and the ones who actually follow Jesus' words.

I was 12 when one of my second cousins came out of the closet. She had recently gotten into a terrible car accident and almost lost her life. When she got better, she knew she could no longer hide her girlfriend from her family. Our family, at that crucial moment in her life, decided to "shun" her. I was disgusted then, and am more disgusted now. To this day, very few of them will talk to her.

I know I was saved from my crazy family because of my parents. They are christian (my mother more so) and do not approve of everything I am, but they love and support me, despite my faults. They are proud of my accomplishments and the fact that I strive for graduate school (working on the financial sitaution). They always told me I was too smart and too talented to fall into what was expected of girls in my family.

Also, I drink and they hate that. Almost every weekend, and the occasional week day (like tonight, so this is probably not as coherent as I would like). I was told this was evil, and why I had lost my heart (still confused about that, because I feel the same). Anyway, I LOVE who I am. I am proud, and to an extent, I am selfish and I do not think either of those things are bad anymore. I care deeply about my friends, my close family, and my clients yet I do allow myself to folllow my dreams . . . they consider that part of me greedy and evil. According to them, Satan has control of me . . . and even though I personally don't believe in Satan, if this is all his doing then he is the one I would choose. I would be a miserable wife and mother and any supreme being who prefer that life for me has absolutely no clue what they are doing.

Anyway, that was way longer than I expected. I have lurked here for a while now and have become so intrigued that I check it daily. I love this site and hope to get more involved. I don't like Smuggar, but I can't blame him. He was raised in a manner in which I could not even begin to imagine. I struggled to become who I am, and for him it is probably 150 times more difficult. I only hoep the best to the children raised this way. I would love to see some of these kids break away from the indoctrination and I know you guys feel the same way.

And, that is all. Where's the rum?

[luckylibrarian]

Welcome! Good for you for escaping and having your own life!

[silvia]

Welcome! Look forward to hearing more from you :-D

[FearLyss]

Thanks!

I just skimmed through my post and saw many typos, and I am not willing to fix them. I promise I am not that stupid, it's the rum, lol. It was easy for me to "break away" (my mother's song for me, even though I hate Kelly Clarkson), with my parents who were sick of their families' BS, it was almost encouraged. I don't want to give myself too much credit here. I find the people who manage to do so (like Susanna Keller) from a really crazy family to bbe so strong! When I drink I find myself more fascinating than I am, definitely not worth as much as I typed above, lol.

[Buzzard]

"Typos" are not permitted on FJ. "Riffles" are understood to have been created by autocorrect, the cat, wine/rum/purevineagar, or stuck keys from spitting diet coke out while reading FJ.

Welcome! We have cake!

[browngrl]

welcome to the hive!

[FearLyss]

mmm . . .cake . . . that would absorb the rum, better enabling my typing skills . . . maybe.

[FearLyss]

welcome to the hive!

Your avatar looks incredibly (and adorably) familiar. Do you post on circle of sarcasm? I am a just a registered lurker there as well, ha

[dcla99]

Hello,

Just wanted to say hello. I have been hanging in the shadows and reading for about 1 month.

So, hello!

[Austin]

to FJ!

[gustava]

hellooooooooooooooooo

[Guest Anonymous]

Hello,

Just wanted to say hello. I have been hanging in the shadows and reading for about 1 month.

So, hello!

Hi, and welcome! It's cool to hear how people end up here and what their particular fundie interests are, if you feel like sharing.

[Angri-la]

Welcome aboard. What finally brought you out to play?

[Buzzard]

I'm guessing the awesome bacon cake!