Maulucci Family Missionaries - Maintenance-free children for days

[Grimalkin]

5 hours ago, SoybeanQueen said:

LOL! I guess I do. The interesting thing is that I'm prone to shenanigans and outbursts of laughter. That this person's writing made me feel sad is unusual for me. While it's probably entirely true that teens and young adults raised on a steady diet of keeping sweet find his scorn for others refreshing, I don't have much time for people who mistake nastiness for humor.

        I am sorry! I was being sarcastic. Whenever douchbags get confronted for being offensive they act like its your fault.

I don't think you are humorless. I was going for Schrodinger Douchbag. 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Schrodinger's Douchebag

 

[CTRLZero]

It would have been nice if he'd given more details, or at least defined "trophy wife" and "hobnobbed" from his fundy viewpoint.  Inquiring minds...

19 minutes ago, Howl said:

Let me translate:  I have a dick.

Ha!  This is what it boils down to--the *ahem* short version.  

[Lurky]

13 hours ago, Mercer said:

He says a lot about what he's against in terms of missions, but I still have no clue what he's for, or what he actually does with his time.

I also don't understand what he actually does.  On this page, he talks about travelling a lot, including this:

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It is January 26, 2016.  By the end of this year – in the next 11 months – I will have been in 40 states, 7 countries and over 90 churches.  That is all just in 2016.

I suspect the 40 states and 90 churches is talking about the Mission Furlough, which he says elsewhere is supposed to be a break, but seems to be all about visiting churches snarking on them drumming up more support...  I can't work out if he's including eg flying out from Turkey, and the mid-flight break in a different country to be part of the 7, so he's inflating to make himself look good, or what. 

I genuinely don't get the mission aspect though.  He says "We have now been in over 300 cities and villages in Bulgaria", but is that just dropping off the Book of John, or is he actually working in them? 

And I also don't understand this post, where he's so upset he can't bring his kids across international borders without visa...  but why's he crossing the border so often?

(I find his outrage about not being able to take undocumented children across borders, on 'planes etc, really really strange.  Of course life would be easier if he could take as many kids as he likes across without any papers, but then it would also be easier for child traffickers etc.  I am not a parent (nor do I play one on the internet) but surely parents understand that irritating things like children's passports and visas aren't there to make their lives harder, but to protect kids??)

[usedbicycle]

Quote

I love to converse with friends intellectually and philosophically and socially.  She is the only one with whom I converse emotionally.

Great, now we know you think she's dumb. I'm glad you have man friends who measure up to your stellar IQ for highly complex philosophical conversations. You wife must feel so special that she's reserved for pillow talk. 

Quote

She is content in her role as a helper.  It is not about her role, or her career, or her name.  She revels in being a wife.  I love her for that. (...) We are one flesh and our name is Nick (Genesis 5:2).

Do these men not see that loving their wives for being a doormat makes them look very, very insecure? When your wife has no identity, no name, no dreams, no purpose, no personality aside from being your wife, and you ENJOY it, that's some narcissist shit that you should be ashamed of, not brag about.

[BackseatMom]

2 hours ago, Lurky said:

surely parents understand that irritating things like children's passports and visas aren't there to make their lives harder, but to protect kids??)

Parents do. But he's not a parent. He is a horny teenager who happens to have kids.

[Grimalkin]

2 hours ago, Lurky said:

I also don't understand what he actually does.  On this page, he talks about travelling a lot, including this:

I suspect the 40 states and 90 churches is talking about the Mission Furlough, which he says elsewhere is supposed to be a break, but seems to be all about visiting churches snarking on them drumming up more support...  I can't work out if he's including eg flying out from Turkey, and the mid-flight break in a different country to be part of the 7, so he's inflating to make himself look good, or what. 

I genuinely don't get the mission aspect though.  He says "We have now been in over 300 cities and villages in Bulgaria", but is that just dropping off the Book of John, or is he actually working in them? 

And I also don't understand this post, where he's so upset he can't bring his kids across international borders without visa...  but why's he crossing the border so often?

(I find his outrage about not being able to take undocumented children across borders, on 'planes etc, really really strange.  Of course life would be easier if he could take as many kids as he likes across without any papers, but then it would also be easier for child traffickers etc.  I am not a parent (nor do I play one on the internet) but surely parents understand that irritating things like children's passports and visas aren't there to make their lives harder, but to protect kids??)

     I think maybe his Special Holy Presence by itself is his mission. I recall people reaching out to touch Jesus' robe in the bible and that people were healed from that. Maybe that's it? 

      He mentions somewhere that he wants everyone in Bulgaria to own a bible. So as far as I can tell they travel the world to hand out bibles and churches pay for them to do it.

[Howl]

4 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

Ha!  This is what it boils down to--the *ahem* short version.  

"I have a dick."

@CTRLZero, this made me realize I made a regrettable error in my original translation.  It should read: "I have am a dick."  This clarifies the totality of his inherent dick-ness. 

@Grimalkin said,  

Quote

He mentions somewhere that he wants everyone in Bulgaria to own a bible. So as far as I can tell they travel the world to hand out bibles and churches pay for them to do it.

When, in reality, it's probably already posted on the internet. He could just hand out little slips of paper with the URL. 

[SoybeanQueen]

12 hours ago, Petronella said:

I'm pretty sure Grimalkin was being sarcastic! Your reaction was on point :-)

Yes, I know. I wasn't feeling very creative in composing replies at that point. I do appreciate your response, though.

8 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

        I am sorry! I was being sarcastic. Whenever douchbags get confronted for being offensive they act like its your fault.

I don't think you are humorless. I was going for Schrodinger Douchbag. 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Schrodinger's Douchebag

 

Clearly I did not express myself well that time! I knew what you were doing. Thank you for not thinking I'm humorless, even when I post as though it's true.

[Grimalkin]

     Sarcasm does not always translate well on the Internet. 

[mango_fandango]

My friend is Bulgarian. And atheist. Just makes me wonder why Bulgaria in particular. Is it because they're Eastern Orthodox, or what??

[Gobsmacked]

He could be PPs long lost twin brother.

[Howl]

37 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

My friend is Bulgarian. And atheist. Just makes me wonder why Bulgaria in particular. Is it because they're Eastern Orthodox, or what??

Thank you!  I had not considered that Bulgarians are Eastern Orthodox, so I had to  check with the google to help me out!   Found this on Wiki: 

Quote

The Orthodox Church in Bulgaria has deep roots, extending back to the 5th and 7th centuries when the Slavs and the Bulgars, respectively, adopted Byzantine Christianity in the period of the First Bulgarian Empire (681-1018). Prior to this official conversion, Christianity had spread to the region during Roman and early Byzantine times. After the 1054 Great Schism, the Church of Bulgaria remained in communion with the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople and other Eastern Orthodox Churches. It bears the distinction of being the oldest Slavic Christian Church in the Orthodox communion.

According to the most recent census (2001) most of Bulgaria's inhabitants (82.6%) are Orthodox Christians, almost all of whom are members of the Bulgarian Orthodox Church, officially the country's traditional religion. 

This particular Wiki did not have references, but it seems accurate in comparison to other articles.   Another parallel to John Shrader -- being a missionary to Christians who are not the right kind of Christian.  Bulgarians have an astoundingly long history of Christianity.  From another Wiki about the Bulgarian Orthodox Church:

Quote

The Bulgarian Orthodox Church has its origin in the flourishing Christian communities and churches, set up in the Balkans as early as the first centuries of the Christian era.

Christianity was brought to  the Bulgarian lands and the rest of the Balkans by the apostles Paul andAndrew in the 1st century AD, when the first organised Christian communities were formed. By the beginning of the 4th century, Christianity had become the dominant religion in the region. Towns such as Serdica (Sofia), Philipopolis (Plovdiv), Odessus (Varna) and Adrianople (Edirne) were significant centres of Christianity in the Roman Empire.

So, these churches and their congregants have an amazing history, beginning in the early days of Christianity.  Takes a bit of arrogance to go over and tell them the "truth" about being a Christian. 

[nelliebelle1197]

34 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

He could be PPs long lost twin brother.

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking- slightly more intelligent but still the same idiot.

[Lady Grass Lake]

On 9/4/2016 at 1:36 PM, jozina said:

"My faithful, thou shalt shag in the horseless beast stables, thou shalt shag where the sea meets the land and thou shalt shag where the trees sway freely in the breeze, like the genitals of my faithful as they shag madly. You will know the righteous by the rocking of their carriage in a public space, while the unrighteous stand nearby, wretching and with cries of "Get a room or a manger if you must! If Joseph could find shelter for his wife to give birth, you can find a room." Thus they shall be turned to God."

Said no bible ever.  What a creepy freakshow who is likely scaring the Bulgarians off his God as fast as he meet them.

This is the statement that really made me dislike this jerk, why not just get a dog.  

 

She has NEVER “shared a word” in church or in our home unless I was not present.  I have entered the room many times when she was teaching the Bible to the children – it is always immediate deference.  I love her for that.

[Cleopatra7]

52 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

My friend is Bulgarian. And atheist. Just makes me wonder why Bulgaria in particular. Is it because they're Eastern Orthodox, or what??

I would think that the idea of evangelizing in the countries where "godless communism" once reigned would be irresistible for IFB missionaries, given how anti-communist the IFB has always been. I don't know if the name is true in Bulgaria, but the Russian government considers Protestant denominations to be "sects" that are little better than cults and a danger to "true religion," which is defined as the Russian Orthodox Church. If the same is true for Bulgaria, then much of the population will already be predisposed against IFB missionaries, to say nothing of the government.

[Lady Grass Lake]

I think it's an affirmation to him that he is the most important thing in the world, and 

Quote

she stops whatever she is doing to give him her full undivided attention.   I would bet she is afraid to say anything to anyone without him present and he can't stand that thought of her having any interactions with anyone unless he is right there.    

 

 

[Grimalkin]

     Schader must be kicking himself right now for picking Africa. Europe seems like it would be much easier to live in with a bazillion kids. No offense to Zambia.

      I can hardly blame this guy for throwing shade on other missionaries. We have The Schraders in Africa, two families in the UK,and a small but likely to grow Duggar squad in South America. And countless others. Competitive grifting at its finest. 

      Maybe Jill will jump on the bandwagon and take up missions in Portugal.

[Mercer]

13 hours ago, Lurky said:

(I find his outrage about not being able to take undocumented children across borders, on 'planes etc, really really strange.  Of course life would be easier if he could take as many kids as he likes across without any papers, but then it would also be easier for child traffickers etc.  I am not a parent (nor do I play one on the internet) but surely parents understand that irritating things like children's passports and visas aren't there to make their lives harder, but to protect kids??)

Agreed.

Also wondering if he feels this should apply to non-Americans entering the United States, too? Should children and adults without appropriate documentation be allowed to enter the US, or is it just Americans who should be able to pass through and "foreign" countries that should not control their borders? Would be equally comfortable with, say, the Egyptian teen seated beside him on the plane not having shown any documentation as he is comfortable demanding he shouldn't have to provide it for his own kids?

Maybe I'm assuming too much, but I would be very surprised if he wanted his rules to apply to everyone. Seems he's just a very special snowflake.

[Granwych]

9 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

He could be PPs long lost twin brother.

Poor bastard.  Guess then I could feel sorry for him and his misogynistic egotistical ass.  Otherwise, agreed, he's a gigantic douche.

[Lurky]

7 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Competitive grifting at its finest.

Dying of laughter at this - it should be a reality TV show, where each team first have to raise the cash for a vehicle, then plan a tactic and travel all over the place raising money.  They can set up websites etc, and have various points where they have to be at the same church at the same time (cue drama as they run out of petrol, run on special Fundy time, use SOTDRT maths to work out how long it will take etc) and then present to the same church, when only 1 can be supported.  Every week, the family who've raised the least amount of money are kicked out.  The prize is airfares to the mission field of their choice, and a house for a year that's big enough for ALL their children! 

I'm thinking season 1 has the Shraders, Rodriguii, Dillards, Hodnetts, the Mauluccis can be the snarky ones every reality competition has, and we could maybe add a Bates and Arndt kidult.  And who are that horrible family who force their kids on anti-abortion grift trips? 

(In an ideal world, the teenagers from "our" families meet through the programme and form a support group and run away to college together.  Funded by the fees from a reality show following their journey out, but by a reputable company that would give them proper support, and pay the wonderful escapees like Faith Pennington, Cynthia Jeub, and Anne-the-eloper to mentor them)

(Hmmm, should I move this to a thread of its own?)

[Lurky]

Because I can't stop thinking about Competitive Grifting/Misscations...

The families would have to create a plan at the start, for what they'd do with their Mission, including a budget, and there'd be intermittent challenges - so some would be at the same church, another would be to all start in the same town with a ton of churches, one Sunday, and they'd have to decide a tactic (think America's Next Top Model Go-See challenges) - and they'd have ones relating to their own plan.    There'd be extra cash prizes, immunity etc

So at first they'd have to give a presentation to members of a community they want to convert - Catholics, Muslims, atheists, Americans of the "wrong" Christianity, who'd rate them on their presentation skills etc - and of course, if someone want to minister somewhere not-primarily-English-speaking, they would have to do it as they would there - eg the Dillards speaking in Spanish, OR putting on a skit etc.

They'd have a challenge where they had to give out a certain number of bibles the fastest - and try to persuade people to come in to a meeting.  In the early stages, this would be in somewhere very "safe" and Middle America to them, but later it would be in a "dangerous", multicultural part of a Big City.

Later in the competition, they'd be taken to a group of people they saw as most needing God, and have to present to them, and then answer Qs - or it could be a panel of experts in different religions, an Imam, Orthadox and liberal, Rabbi, Hindu priest, Catholic bishop, Unitarian bishop, Wiccan etc etc.    They'd also have to spend time with (and NOT try to convert) groups of "sinners", eg gay people, family planning workers etc.  Maybe one of the mentors could be a gay christian couple, so that the kids were shown that we don't all have horns and tails!

At the start, they'd have their budgets assessed by an expert, who'd give them pointers, and the ones who progressed through the competition as others were eliminated, they'd have to eg present to a group of humanitarian workers wherever they were going to, and/or existing churches in the area, to explain why they were going, and what they'd do differently.  One early test would be a quiz about the area they were going to - starting with simple "can you point to it on a map?" (or in the Dillards' case, "do you know the name of the country?") and questions about the culture, getting to the more pointy Qs about local laws, "what proportion of the country say they're already Christian?" and so on.  

In a different challenge, the quiz would be about world religions, eg "what is the status of Jesus?" in different religions, what their beliefs are about afterlife, some questions about Islam and Zakat, about religions' views about different issues etc. 

We could also have a role reversal challenge, where the Patriarchs had to look after any kids under, say, 10, while the wife and teenage daughters did Headship things elsewhere - and definitely, definitely a homeschool challenge, and during the competition.

All kids under 18 would be required to do a certain number of lessons a day.  Part of the Mission plan would have to be a homeschool plan for all the kids, alongside the Mission plan, that would be assessed by a panel of education experts (eg an expert in home learning, the head teacher of a Christian school, a legitimate homeschool parent)  so that even the first families to be eliminated would actually gain something useful.  They'd have to demonstrate that the parents had a workable plan for the kids before they started, even if the show was filmed over school holidays - so the plan could be, eg, that younger school-aged children were left with grandparents - and if the plan was that older children supervised the young kids' work, the older kids would still have to do their own education.  I add this in because I am not a monster, and want to look out for the kids!

Of course, some families are bigger than others, but since that's the parents' own choice, tough luck.  Families like the Dillards, who are publicly saying they'll mega-family would be allowed to bring along relatives - eg the Dillards could take JoyAnna, Josiah and maybe a couple of howlers, so they'd have to do the homeschooling too.  Hanni and Jenni too, because Free The Lost Girls!  They'd take them because although having to actually plan and do homeschooling would be hard, they'd have young adults/teens around to help with the challenges, and kids to look cute, 

In the final weeks, the top 3 could actually be taken to the mission field of their choice (which could be in the USA even!) and have to do some challenges there - starting with going shopping and cooking a meal for the family, things like that, and moving onto meeting the local churches and explaining why they were there etc, and what they were planning to do, and getting scored by them. 

I think I may need to go and lie down in a darkened room....   Look what you've done to my brain, @Grimalkin and Free Jinger!

 

[polecat]

13 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

My friend is Bulgarian. And atheist. Just makes me wonder why Bulgaria in particular. Is it because they're Eastern Orthodox, or what??

 

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that it's because of the Iron Curtain. Sure, it may no longer exist, but my gosh, fundies were OBSESSED with it back in the day. It was all about "getting behind the Iron Curtain," and then they'd come back on furlough with these harrowing tales for us in the pews. 

Or maybe he read about it in a book one time and thought it sounded interesting and translated that into God's calling. There's really no telling.

Mind you, these are the exact same people who freak about us helping refugees because there are starving, hurting people in our own country. 

[Grimalkin]

@Lurky I had very similar thoughts. It's a great gig if you can get it. As more mega families decide they are sick of living in pop up trailers and see these families being supported, some quite nicely, it's a real option. Why not? There is only so much money people can give to missions so you better be on your game. I suppose you never know when a new family is going to horn in on your territory.

 

[BobTheWalrus]

On 04/09/2016 at 5:05 PM, Four is Enough said:

Yeah, this got to me, too. WHY is it ok for her to teach the Word to her children when he's not home, but then the second he steps in the door, she must stop? I don't get that at all. Either she's a teacher or she's not. This undermines for the children his support in her ability to teach them anything.

I know it all goes back to St. Paul (who has a hella lot to answer for) and the whole "women should be quiet in church" thing.. but DAYUM. I'd never last a day in fundy land.

And even that was in a very specific and limited context, and the rest of the time Paul writes about women following Jesus and hosting churches and prophesying and praying out loud in meetings and being witnesses and evangelists..... it's almost as if a bunch of bigoted, power-hungry jerks decided to use the scriptures for their own ends, and we ended up in this mess....

 

I'm seriously cracking up at the idea of them driving a 20-passenger limo through the Appalachian mountains

[Lurky]

2 hours ago, BobTheWalrus said:

I'm seriously cracking up at the idea of them driving a 20-passenger limo through the Appalachian mountains

 

I read and re-read that post, and my logical brain thinks it MUST be a joke....  but these are Fundy missionaries, so I suspect the joke's on me, and they really have bought a 2nd hand stretch limo!