Eighteen Batesesss

[season of life]

4 minutes ago, JillyO said:

Is "thrilled to death" a common expression somewhere? I've never heard it used and it's a little weird to me, particularly in the context of a pregnancy announcement. Just wondering!

 

 

I guess "blessed" and "overjoyed" are used too much?

[Purrl]

2 hours ago, JillyO said:

Is "thrilled to death" a common expression somewhere? I've never heard it used and it's a little weird to me, particularly in the context of a pregnancy announcement. Just wondering!

Yep. I live in the south central USA and hear it all the time.

[wandering woman]

I was appalled to see 12 or 13 year old Warden using power tools when he helped Gil with a tree project on the most recent episode.  That electric saw should not be used by such a young person, and he could have gotten badly hurt.  Gil must be desperate for help with his business.  Lawson and Zach don't work for him, and I'm not sure if Trace does.  

[backyard sylph]

2 hours ago, wandering woman said:

I was appalled to see 12 or 13 year old Warden using power tools when he helped Gil with a tree project on the most recent episode.  That electric saw should not be used by such a young person, and he could have gotten badly hurt.  Gil must be desperate for help with his business.  Lawson and Zach don't work for him, and I'm not sure if Trace does.  

Is that what was happening? I thought it was Jackson, learning to use the tools as part of his 14th birthday. They made a big deal of giving him proper work boots and discussed it as a rite of passage.

[RoseWilder]

Well that's depressing. A 21-month age gap is bigger than a lot of other fundie babies, but it's still close enough that Alyssa could end up with a ton of kids.  I did the math and, given how young Alyssa is, and assuming she stays fertile as long as her mother did, 21-month age gaps between babies would result in her having 15 kids. 

So much for Alyssa's claim of "I'm in no rush to have another one." 

[Italiangirl]

Dosen't Brandon and Michael move to Texas in around these days? Any news on that? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On September 14, 2016 at 9:12 PM, crazysnark said:

I really don't think they are more fertile than anyone else, except for maybe the fact that they start producing at the prime time to reproduce (which biologically is 17-22). Other than that it seems pretty normal to always be pregnant or at least pregnant every other year when you aren't using any kind of BC. 

This. I'm not fundy and the longest I went without being preg when not on bc was 4 months when my then-husband's job had him across the country and only home on long weekends once a month or so.

When you're that young and don't have fertility issues their baby rate isn't unusual.  I married early and got pregnant with my first month one...if not for BC I'd have a thread dedicated to me and my elevemty kids in FJ.

 

[seraaa]

On 15/09/2016 at 3:20 AM, Exjw2015deed said:

This makes me genuinely sad for Michael. I really wanted her to be next. Since she's been married, Whitney and Erin popped out babies and now Alyssa is pregnant. I know she's not the kind to be sad for herself, and I'm happy she's enjoying time being spoiled by Brandon. But I hope that this isn't hard for her, like it was for Erin when Whitney had Bradley. 

Maybe im just hormonal and need to take a nap.... I'm getting soft. 

I mean, she may be pregnant, but hasn't announced it yet. Alyssa held off for six months

[Exjw2015deed]

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

This. I'm not fundy and the longest I went without being preg when not on bc was 4 months when my then-husband's job had him across the country and only home on long weekends once a month or so.

When you're that young and don't have fertility issues their baby rate isn't unusual.  I married early and got pregnant with my first month one...if not for BC I'd have a thread dedicated to me and my elevemty kids in FJ.

 

Amen! My mother got her tubes tied after me and she was 24 and married. She had 4 children under the age of 6. It's natural and if she kept it going she surely would've surpassed the duggars. We almost all were in elementary school together. 

Jehovah witnesses used to marry young as well and don't enforce any rules when it comes to contraception. Birth control made my mother a psycho so tubes getting tied that young was her decision. I don't think most doctors this day in age would allow someone that young to do that. 

[wandering woman]

Perhaps it was Jackson who used the power tools.  I get him mixed up with Warden.  If he is 14, I feel a little better, but using a chainsaw should be reserved for adults IMHO.

[maple802]

1 hour ago, Exjw2015deed said:

Amen! My mother got her tubes tied after me and she was 24 and married. She had 4 children under the age of 6. It's natural and if she kept it going she surely would've surpassed the duggars. We almost all were in elementary school together. 

Jehovah witnesses used to marry young as well and don't enforce any rules when it comes to contraception. Birth control made my mother a psycho so tubes getting tied that young was her decision. I don't think most doctors this day in age would allow someone that young to do that. 

Re: elective sterilization at a young age, they will do it if you sign a TON of informed consent paperwork. I know a woman who had honeymoon triplets (yes, you read that correctly) at 23. Her doctor suggested an IUD due to her young age, but she insisted that three at once was enough, signed the paperwork and is done. 

[season of life]

My mom never used any form of contraception. She was taught that if she wanted to prevent pregnancy, she should breastfeed. My mother did exactly that, and she ended up pregnant multiple times. She miscarried twice, had me in 1997, had my sister in 1999, miscarried three more times, and finally ended with my sister in 2005. My littlest sister kept asking for a baby sister this whole afternoon and my mom said she regrets not having a bunch of kids. Now she wants us to have tons of babies ourselves. It really is insane how many children women and men can end up with if they don't take precautions.

[HarleyQuinn]

Calling it now. If Webster #2 is a super smiley baby, Alyssa will be back on her public instagram showing off photos of her.

[Escapefromfundiedom]

On 9/15/2016 at 2:20 AM, Melissa1977 said:

I know it's not popular to say this, but I think that having kids very close in age is very hard for the parents and not everybody enjoys parenthood in this situation. Allie will be just 21 (22?) months, still a baby in diapers and starting the tantrum age. It means Alyssa will have to forget about her hairdo/make up long sessions and her (apparently) relaxing life in Florida. In fact, she said she was too busy with one kid.

Looking at the dates, it seems that she got pregnant around at Allie's first birthday. I'd like to think that it was her own decision, but I'm suspecting Bates made a heavy pressure on her. I'm sure Alyssa loves and enjoys Allie very much, but I don't see her extremely motherly. I mean, she talks about needing quiet time and she obviously enjoys going out, which it's difficult when you have a bunch of little kids.

I looove Allie's face in the last pictures. Like she was thinking "WTF with this announcement". I also love her "rebel" hair, she is always unkempt despite I'm sure her mother tries to make her a nice hairdo.

I have four kids who are all 3-4 years apart.  I know people who have kids 16-20 months apart. Here's the thing: It's all hard. Yes, having two little ones both in diapers and high maintenance phases is exhausting. But no matter how they're spaced, having kids involves major challenges and major exhaustion. EVERY parent with one kid things they're too busy. Almost every parent with two or more looks back at how easy it was with just one and laughs at how dumb they were to think they were busy...It's just the reality of parenting. If Alyssa and John include having kids as part of the life they envision for themselves, the sacrifice of some of that relaxation and hair and makeup time will be well worth it for them and they'll find ways to adjust. It's all about what you want in life. The big spoiler is that kids are hard work and a lot of joy and there is simply no formula that makes it not hard. Alyssa is young, fit and healthy and honestly...for all we know she wants to get her kids birthed while it's easier to bounce back. ;-) I know those sleepless nights of the first year were a LOT easier to deal wtih when I was in my early 20's with the first two than it has been in my 30's with the second two.

 

On 9/16/2016 at 5:20 AM, Melissa1977 said:

Erin has said several times that Brooklyn is the last one. I give her the benefit of doubt.

And yes, Whitney will have the third one when Kaci will be 18 months old if not earlier. But I have some hope that Zach eventually decides to stop. Maybe after baby  #5, when life gets really ugly at home. There's something rational on him. Time will tell.

Do you have kids? Why do you think "life gets really ugly at home" with 5 kids? Yeah...maybe they'll stop. Maybe things will be tough for Whitney and they'll decide to stop...but you have to understand that people from this world are raised to view kids as a blessing, so the loss of personal time, the loss of privacy (both of which they never had much of to begin with growing up in large families)...it's not a big deal. Plenty of families, fundie and secular will tell you life with more than 1.5 kids is quite beautiful despite the chaos. I've found that 3 was infinitely more difficult than 4. I guess I just don't understand where people get off with this idea that life with more than one or two kids is such a horrid nightmare.  With the Batesesseses and the Duggars and these other familes - it's not the family size that makes their lives a nightmare, it's their ideology and I wish that people could find a way to stop conflating the two things. 

 

[VineHeart137]

37 minutes ago, Escapefromfundiedom said:

Do you have kids? Why do you think "life gets really ugly at home" with 5 kids? Yeah...maybe they'll stop. Maybe things will be tough for Whitney and they'll decide to stop...but you have to understand that people from this world are raised to view kids as a blessing, so the loss of personal time, the loss of privacy (both of which they never had much of to begin with growing up in large families)...it's not a big deal. Plenty of families, fundie and secular will tell you life with more than 1.5 kids is quite beautiful despite the chaos. I've found that 3 was infinitely more difficult than 4. I guess I just don't understand where people get off with this idea that life with more than one or two kids is such a horrid nightmare.  With the Batesesseses and the Duggars and these other familes - it's not the family size that makes their lives a nightmare, it's their ideology and I wish that people could find a way to stop conflating the two things. 

 

Quoted for truth!! I also found the line about life after five kids being really ugly to be off-putting. My husband and I considered having a big family and it's sad that if I was out in public with my 5 or 6 kids people would be looking at me thinking my life must suck. The size of the family isn't their problem, it's the crazy beliefs behind it all that is the issue.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

9 hours ago, RoseWilder said:

Well that's depressing. A 21-month age gap is bigger than a lot of other fundie babies, but it's still close enough that Alyssa could end up with a ton of kids.  I did the math and, given how young Alyssa is, and assuming she stays fertile as long as her mother did, 21-month age gaps between babies would result in her having 15 kids. 

So much for Alyssa's claim of "I'm in no rush to have another one." 

I think it hinges on whether or not she continues to do it. 21 months is not that bad an age gap, I see plenty of 'normal' families having kids with 18-24 months age gaps.  A lot of people decide to get the baby/toddler stage over with fairly quickly by having kids close together. But most stop at 2 or 3.......not keep going until they have 20 of them.

[Percy]

My 2 are 20 months apart.  I just wanted to get it over with.  Also I was in my 30's and time was running out.

I am going to sit on the wait and see fence. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

2 hours ago, Percy said:

My 2 are 20 months apart.  I just wanted to get it over with.  Also I was in my 30's and time was running out.

I am going to sit on the wait and see fence. 

My brother and I are several years apart, but that was because my parents struggled to conceive a second child. They've always said that ideally, we'd have been about 2 years apart, not several. 

[season of life]

I could totally see doing the close age gap if one wanted to get their babymaking over with. Say, plan out three kids in X amount of years. Me and my sister are 23 months apart and my mom said it was a nightmare dealing with a 1 year old while pregnant with another baby.

[Percy]

I agree with your mother, it was not fun in the early days.

Now they are adults is was all worth it, especially now that the cooking roster only has me cooking twice a week. 

[Escapefromfundiedom]

4 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

Quoted for truth!! I also found the line about life after five kids being really ugly to be off-putting. My husband and I considered having a big family and it's sad that if I was out in public with my 5 or 6 kids people would be looking at me thinking my life must suck. The size of the family isn't their problem, it's the crazy beliefs behind it all that is the issue.

We get our share of bizarre and/or rude comments when I'm out with all four kids. In our area, families with more than two kids are not common, three is considered large, four is like full blown insanity. It always amazes me how much people feel free to provide unsolicited commentary on a woman's reproductive choices (to her face, in front of her children).  It's not for everyone and we've made a lot of sacrifices by other people's standards to have a larger family, but we love it.

[alba]

Amen! My mother got her tubes tied after me and she was 24 and married. She had 4 children under the age of 6. It's natural and if she kept it going she surely would've surpassed the duggars. We almost all were in elementary school together. 

Jehovah witnesses used to marry young as well and don't enforce any rules when it comes to contraception. Birth control made my mother a psycho so tubes getting tied that young was her decision. I don't think most doctors this day in age would allow someone that young to do that. 

I think they're generally more willing to do so if you already have kids (I looked it up a few years ago and my local NHS would only do tubals for over-25s, which I wasn't, or mother, which I wasn't).

The argument is you'll regret it if you don't have kids, but studies actually show the women MOST likely to regret sterilisation are those who do it right after having a baby, especially if they're younger. The absolute risk is still relatively low (so I'm not at all insinuating that your mum regretted it), but women who don't want kids generally continue to not want kids, while women who do want (and have) kids are more likely to want another when the others are older.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

4 hours ago, season of life said:

I could totally see doing the close age gap if one wanted to get their babymaking over with. Say, plan out three kids in X amount of years. Me and my sister are 23 months apart and my mom said it was a nightmare dealing with a 1 year old while pregnant with another baby.

That's what my parents wanted to do.....they wanted two or maybe three kids and to get the baby/toddler stage over with. But it didn't work that way. They got pregnant with me fairly easily but really struggled for years to get pregnant with my brother.  They said it was actually very hard to return to the baby/toddler stage when they already had a 4/5 year old who was largely independent and sleeping though the night and using the toilet already. But on the flip side, she could sit me down to do something while she fed my brother and I'd sit there and do it, not throw things in the toilet lol. 

I think there can be pros/cons either way when it comes to having a smaller/larger age gap. While my brother and I don't not get along, I have noticed the age gap means we are not as close as some siblings born closer together. I was always at a very different life stage to him and as such, our friends/activities didn't really overlap, while friends who were only a year or two apart from siblings are much closer to them. 

For now, the jury is out on Alyssa/John. 21 months between babies isn't out of the ordinary. It doesn't mean she will have a quiver.....but it could mean she is pretty fertile and could end up with a quiver unless she takes actions to prevent having 20 kids. 

But given that Alyssa and John have said they want about 5 or 6 (which is a big family outside the fundie world) they could have made the decision to get all the pregnancies/births 'done' while Alyssa is in her 20s and there are less risks and then be 'done' with it so she isn't popping them out in her 30s or beyond. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Alyssa has decided she doesn't want to be popping them out in her 30s/40s and has decided to be done well before that. 

[VaSportsMom]

Re: elective sterilization at a young age, they will do it if you sign a TON of informed consent paperwork. I know a woman who had honeymoon triplets (yes, you read that correctly) at 23. Her doctor suggested an IUD due to her young age, but she insisted that three at once was enough, signed the paperwork and is done. 

I had my first at 19 and my second at 23. I fought with my doctors the entire 9 months but my tubes were tied before baby 2 was 3 hours old. They tried everything to talk me out of it but I've never once regretted quitting at 2. I knew my limits.

[season of life]

Maybe Alyssa wants to have her kids quickly so she can enjoy her thirties and forties. But goodness, supporting a family of 7 isn't going to be peaches and cream. I hope Erin doesn't see Alyssa's kids and risk her health to try for a third or a fourth.